What I've Done
by December.Twenty.Sixth
Summary: With a relatively bright future ahead, Erol and Kaen are ready for just about anything life throws at them... or are they? Sequel to My Immortal, a collab with GreyJedi.
1. Prologue

Okay, sorry it took so long to get this up. GJ was the one in charge of the chapters and she didn't give me the prologue until now.

So, here we have the prologue to the sequel to _My Immortal_.

And here we have all the usual disclaimers. Erol belongs to Naughty Dog. Kaen, Faine, Cayden, Valen, Ripp, and Simius are all ours. Knives are mine  
© .Sixth and GreyJedi, 2008  
No part of this work may be reproduced or copied without written permission of the authors.

On with the story.

* * *

Kaen blinked in the sudden bright sunlight. They must have slept in quite a bit, well past the time Cayden expected her home.

Oh god – Cayden. He wouldn't be much fun to face. At least she wouldn't be totally alone in the confrontation. But that was a monster that could be faced when it came. For the moment she was quite content to just lie there.

Erol stirred next to her and opened his eyes, raising a hand to shield them from the sun, "Morning sweetheart."

"Morning love. Sleep well?"

"Very. You?"

"Perfectly." She curled up against him. "Did yesterday really happen?"

He put his arms around her, glancing at his left hand as he did. "I believe so."

"Good, though it still seems nearly unbelievable. Too perfect, too good to be true. My life isn't that happy."

"At the moment, it is." He kissed her forehead.

"And I hope it stays that way, for a little while at least."

"I think it will. Unless Cayden kills me."

"I don't even want to think about that…It's a good thing he's sick right now. It's more Valen I worry about. He'll be _horrid_."

"Why?"

"He'll get all mushy."

Erol shrugged. "Better than being torn apart."

"You're _not_ going to get torn apart!"

"Not until he's better. What's he got anyway?"

"Food poisoning I think. He's forced to stay in bed for the next two weeks. And I will not let him rip you apart. I don't think Aaric will send you back again."

Erol didn't reply to that right away, currently Kaen had no heir so technically… "Poor guy, food poisoning sucks."

"I told him not to eat that cake, but he wouldn't listen. It was in the fridge for a year!"

He rolled his eyes.

"You're mocking me."

"No. I'm astounded by Cayden's stupidity."

"Oh, then I suppose I can't be offended."

He grinned and kissed her forehead.

"Shameless aren't you?"

"Yep."

She kissed him. "We should probably get up."

"Get up, get dressed, get out of here…" he didn't move, perfectly content to stay there a little while longer.

"You don't want to get up either?"

"Not at the moment."

"I'm fine with that."

"So…"

"So…? What is it?" She grinned.

"No idea."

"You're rather indecisive this morning – or afternoon, I'm not sure. Is it because you don't actually know, or can you just not be bothered to think?"

"The second one."  
"Oh," she closed her eyes. "Okay then."

He shifted and began to twirl a lock of her hair around his fingers.

"Why must you always play with my hair?"

"Because I like it."

"You confuse me – my hair isn't that great."

"No, it's not, but I still like it. It's fun to play with."

"But it's _hair_."

"It's pretty, quit trying to understand me sweetheart, just accept it."

She sighed and gave up.

He kissed her forehead, "Now what?"

"Hmm…We or you or I could…" There wasn't much to do but get up and get ready.

Erol sighed and sat up, "Well…I suppose we'd better get up."

"Meh." She sat up too. "Do you think the shower works?"

"Probably."

"Okay, then I'm going to take a shower." She swung her legs out of bed and headed over to the bathroom.

Erol stretched, cracked his neck and decided to get dressed.

--

"Where is she Ripp?!" Cayden bellowed, glaring at his little sister's boyfriend. "Where is she?!"

Ripp chewed his lip, extremely glad that Cayden couldn't get out of bed. "I don't know…" he said quietly, "I'm sorry. I don't know…"

"You were supposed to watch her!"

"I know…I'm sorry."

"Go out and find her!"  
"I don't know where to look!"

"You were a tracker! An assassin! Figure it out!"

Ripp couldn't speak; he started to shake, if only Cayden weren't yelling…he might be able to think.

The door opened. "Shouting isn't going to help the situation Cayden." Valen said as soothingly as he could manage. "You're scaring the poor boy."

Cayden grumbled something, then shut up and turned away from the other two in the room.

Valen grinned. Cayden thought he was mad _now_. "And you don't need to go looking for her."

A grunt of annoyance from the bed.

"I don't?" Ripp's voice wavered.

"By my calculations, she'll be here soon." And not alone.

The shaking began to fade, "She's not hurt, is she?"

"No…I don't think so…"

"So then there's nothing to worry about." Ripp very pointedly avoided looking Cayden's way.

"Not quite…"

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see when they get here."

"They?!"

Valen smiled happily. "They. She spent the night with someone. They'll be together when they come. Now, Ripp, why don't you go run along and go talk to Leeta?"

"I…um…" he looked a Cayden; something was missing from this…

"He's not going to hurt you. Not a slap, not a punch. Just go see Leeta, unless you'd rather wait…"

Ripp shook his head and headed out the door to go find his girlfriend.

Valen sat down and stared at the sulking bodyguard. "They'll be here in a minute."

--

Kaen approached the door of Cayden's house, shaking slightly. "Here we go…" she knocked loudly, then took a step back.

Erol put a hand on his wife's shoulder, strangely calm. "It's going to be fine."

"I hope so." She smiled nervously at him – at least Erol was there…

"Hello?" the butler said as he opened the door. "How may I help you?"

"We're here to see Cayden," she said as normally as possible.

The man bowed, "Of course your Ladyship. This way." He moved out of her way.

"Come on." Kaen swallowed her fear and headed inside.

Erol followed her, keeping his hand on her shoulder, for more reasons than one.

She followed the butler up the stairs and to a room – Cayden's. "Leave us," she commanded the old man.

"Of course," He bowed, turned and left.  
"You ready for this?" she asked her husband when the butler was gone.

"As I'll ever be."

She nodded and opened the door.

Valen looked up and at the new visitors. "Hello my Lord and Lady."

Cayden grunted, then shot up in bed. "_Lord_? _LORD_?"

"Oh god…I'm dead…" Erol muttered quietly to himself.

"It'll be alright," she whispered to him. Taking a deep breath, Kaen entered fully into the room. "Yes Cayden, your Lord _and_ Lady."

The bodyguard stared at the pair, "This cannot be…"

"But it is."

"Cayden it was sudden and unexpected. I'm sorry if I offended."

"It wouldn't have been so bad if you were married first!"

Valen snickered.

"We are." Erol, for a moment seemed to flip Cayden off, but it was with his ring finger.

Cayden stared at the band around the finger. "No."

Kaen walked to the bedside and knelt beside it. "Erol and I married last night. Yes, we were together since the party. It'll be alright Cayden, I swear."

"He's a slummer!"

"Not anymore."

"What difference does it honestly make?!" Erol demanded, tired of all this 'slummer' business.

"I've already told you! You don't have the graces, the manners, the training! You have to run a city now, but not through military force! And love her like a royal should be loved, not like a slummer who beats his wife."

Erol gaped, horrified by Cayden's words, unable to speak.

Kaen had known it was coming – Cayden's conditioning had kicked in. She just stared at the floor. They had to figure it out for themselves.

"Silent are we? You see the truth now?"

"You're worse than _Faine_." Erol snapped.

"You compare me to that monster? I don't know if you're to be trusted!"

"You're the one who never gives me a chance."

"I worry for her! I fear that you will love her now, but ten years down the road? Fifteen? Will the power drive you mad? This is a gutterrat's dream – beautiful wife, beautiful house and unbridled power!"

Kaen felt like a slab of meat two dogs were fighting over.

Erol felt the pull of emotions trying to make him leave the room. He stayed standing and glaring at Cayden. "What can I do? You won't believe me whatever I do…"

Valen, who'd just been watching the scene with interest, finally spoke, "He'd drawing his opinion of slummers from Ripp's father, Erol. It's little wonder he's worried."

"I'm _nothing_ like Simius." Erol spat the name.

"I know you're not. But we've got to imagine being in his shoes. Only slummer father he's ever heard of is Simius and he's been conditioned since age three to hate slummers, can you blame him? I mean, I was shocked when Kaen fell for you – she's been conditioned too, but not to the same degree."

Erol sighed.

Kaen stood up and went back to Erol. "At least we got this over with…"

"It could've gone better though…but I'm not sure how…"

She took his hand and squeezed it. Cayden was glaring at them.

He squeezed her hand back.

"You simply have to get used to it Cayden – I'm not leaving him."

"But will he leave you?"

"I don't think so…"

"No. Never."

Cayden flipped over and started ignoring them again.

"He'll get used to it," she promised.

"I hope so."

"He will or he'll be finding himself a new job. It'll all be fine."

"Again, I hope so," he said, kissing her cheek.

Valen chuckled. "You two better run along – I'll keep Cayden from killing himself. Maybe you should show Erol around his new home."

Erol smirked, "Why does that make me sound like a pet?"

"Because you _are_ her pet."

Kaen went red. "Valen!"

Erol laughed, "You're blushing sweetheart."

"I know," she said miserably, "I can't believe Valen would say something like that!"

"Well he _is_."

Erol rolled his eyes, "Shall we go?"

"Please." She nodded to the other two men. "See you later." Then she was out the door.

Erol gave Valen a quick nod and followed her.

"I am _so_ sorry for dragging you in there."

"It's alright, I survived, didn't I?" Putting up with Cayden had hurt, but it wasn't like there would be any lasting effects.

"If we weren't walking, I'd give you a hug. I can't believe his conditioning is that strong."

"I guess dealing with Ripp reinforced it."

"He ran to their house after being beaten, didn't he?" She sighed, "That won't help matters. Now I get why he thinks you're going to abuse me."

"I honestly have no clue what Ripp did. I had a hard time figuring out what was going on with him. I swear, I'll never hurt you."

"I know you won't – I'd kill you. Literally. But I don't think it'll happen. And we're here." They had arrived at the manor. "Welcome home love."

"Thanks sweet heart."

She laughed then walked up the steps and opened the door that led into the Great Hall. Maids, guards and even a few animals milled about, going from one place to the other. "Coming in?"

He sighed, nodded and entered. This house was going to take some getting used to.

Kaen started for the stairs, but was first attacked by at least twelve secretaries, all fighting for her attention. It seemed a shipment was late. A gang had killed a small family. Starvation, crime and money floating around the slums. It mad her head hurt, but she managed to give enough answers to satisfy them. Once the assistants had cleared off, she took a second longer to clear her head, then headed towards the stairs again.

Erol had no clue how she managed to deal with all of them at once, but he followed her without comment.

Up the three flights of stairs, eight different hallways and who knows what else: the path to their room. "I decided to start here, you can use it as a starting point."

"Starting point? I think I need a GPS to get around this place!"

"You can I suppose, but it won't take you long to figure your way around. Shall I give you a tour or are you good staying here or getting lost?"

"A tour sounds good."

"Okay, here we go."

--

For the next four hours, Kaen led Erol around her – now his – house. She took him to her office, them main living room, the kitchen, the ballroom, the morgue, and the conservatory. There was more obviously, but those were what she thought were most important.

At the very end they passed what looked like a non-descript door. Nothing special – unless you knew what was behind it. Kaen stopped in front of it.

"What's here?"

"I'd rather not say. Please don't go through that door. Ever." Her eyes went dark with memories long past.

He looked at it but didn't say anything.

Blood, bones, drawing, drinking, laughter…She began to shake and looked away from the door.

"Kaen?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

She nodded, "I'm fine. Just please, don't go through that door."  
He pulled her into an embrace. "You sure you're okay?"

"If I'm not right now, I will be." She hugged him back.

"Alright," he kissed her forehead.

"Can we go somewhere else? _Please_?"

"Yeah, of course," he pulled away, "You'd better lead."

She laughed, then started back to the main hallway. It was still haunting her.


	2. Chapter One

Well, the first chapter of the second book. It's kinda funny since we've had it typed for so long. Anyway...

Normal disclaimer, Erol is Naughty Dog's. Kaen, Cayden, Faine and Valen are all ours.

* * *

Erol was having a hard time adjusting to the manor. He constantly would get lost for hours on end before finding somewhere he knew. It was a pain.

Cayden, who had recovered the next day out of sheer force of will, wasn't helping matters at all. He had taken to following his new master around everywhere, watching his every move. It seemed that even Kaen's long conversations and threats weren't changing his mind about 'slummer scum.'

It was on such episode of being lost when Erol came back to the door Kaen had warned him about. What was behind it? What was Kaen trying to keep from him?

His curiosity begged to be fed, satisfied, and, after looking around warily, he opened the door. His gut told him to turn around, look away, close the door, but he ignored it as he entered into the hallway that lay beyond.

It was a horrific sight that met his eyes and Erol gasped before coughing and wishing he hadn't. The air reeked with the sent of blood, there was little wonder why.

The entire hallway was like something from a bad horror movie. The carpet crunched beneath his feet, coated in dried blood. It was the hallway from the report, the hallway the massacre had taken place in.

His stomach churned; he felt sick. Why had no one cleaned this up? Why? Probably because it was horrid and disgusting...He tripped, and looked at the ground, there was a dent in the carpet and Erol fought a wave of nausea as a he realized it was the dent Faine's head had left, the rest of the imprint was there as well.

There was a similar imprint next to his, where Faine's wife had lain.

Erol got back up; no wonder Kaen had told him not to come down here. He put a hand against the wall was and wished he hadn't, the blood smeared across its surface was rough beneath his hand and he pulled it away in revulsion.

"Oh god..." the entire hallway had been painted in it. "Oh god..." the pictures hadn't prepared him for the real thing, not that he'd ever expected to see the real thing.

One of the doors further up the hallway was ajar and, against his better judgment, Erol pushed it open and walked through it. It had been her two little brothers' room. There were two misshapen carpet dents here too, as well as two in the wall. Upon closer inspection the wall dents were revealed to still have splinters of bone embedded in them.

Erol clapped a hand over his mouth to avoid vomiting, it was so...beyond words. How? How had this happened? Why? Again he fought not to be sick. Why had he come down here?

--

Kaen was sitting in her office, sorting through some of her paperwork, when Cayden called. "Yes?" she asked as she searched for a particular form. "What is it?"

"Your Ladyship…" Cayden sounded concerned. "It's Erol - he's gone down the hallway. I saw him go in."

"Shit!" she swore, slamming down the phone and heading straight for the door. She'd have to find him, have to explain. Why did he go down there?

--

The room at the end of the hallway was the worst, though there was not a drop of blood to be found in it. No, it had been kept with a surgical cleanliness that Erol had only ever seen in hospitals. It was the room Faine had experimented on Kaen in. His golden eyes had filled with tears the moment he'd seen the pictures. Pictures of _her_. He couldn't bear it.

What sort of sick freak did that to his own daughter?

--

"Are you absolutely sure?" Kaen asked her bodyguard one more time as they reached the door to the hallway. "Positively he went down this hallway?"

"Yes Miss. I can go in if you'd prefer…"

"No," she said, shaking her head, "I've got to do this. You might have to drag him out though."

"And you along too? You won't make it in there!"

"I have to go in eventually Cayden," she sighed. Then, stomach clenching into a tiny ball, Kaen opened the door and stared into her hallway for the first time in fourteen years.

--

Erol sank to the floor, legs giving out on him. He shook, tears sliding silently down his cheeks. "Why?" he quietly asked of the room, "Why?"

--

Kaen felt the blood crunch under her bare feet as she walked in - she'd left her shoes at the door. No, she was going to walk down this hallway the way it deserved to be walked down. Everything was exactly as she remembered it…down to the corpses she saw on the floor. Faine, her mother, her brothers - all accounted for. And then the memories hit her like a battering ram.

The stench, the sweet taste of their flesh and blood, painting…it was as if she was reliving it. She could hear the screams and shrieks as she lost control, eager for fresh meat and revenge. Faine's last words rang out above everything else. Usually this would have unnerved her completely, but not in the hallway. No, this hallway was her creation and her home. And always would be, to some extent.

She trailed her hand across the blood splatters and pictures on the walls as she walked, stopping every so often to trace the pictures. So familiar, so terrifying, so _real_. The worst part was her mind convincing her eyes that it was all still fresh, that she was passing corpses and walking through wet blood. And that she was covered in the red liquid, drenched from head to toe.

'Murderer,' her brain hissed at her as she approached the door at the end of the hallway. 'That's all you'll ever be.'

She was beginning to believe it.

Erol heard the footsteps but just couldn't be bothered to react to them. At that moment, he couldn't be bothered to do a lot of stuff. He just sat there pale and shaking, still unable to believe what he'd seen.

Kaen entered the experimentation room, better known as her bedroom, with cold indifference. She had expected to be scared, disgusted, _something_. But apparently not - until she entered the room she called home and hell.

Anger, that's all she felt, pure anger. Everything was the same; even the equipment was exactly as Faine had left it. No one had tampered with it then… It comforted her for some reason. She walked over to a table covered with old papers and picked one up. A report on her mental state. Beautiful.

Erol watched his wife with only half interest. It was the best he could manage.

There were more papers, but she wasn't interested in them. Nor was she interested in the pictures of her and the recordings of her growing up in there. No, what caught her attention was a small cage on the other side of the room. It was ratty, dirty, with no bed except a plank of wood with a thin blanket and a hole in the floor for any bodily needs. Yet her heart broke upon seeing it. It was her room.

She found herself drawn to it, most her wanting nothing more than to crawl inside and go to bed, cold and uncomfortable as ever. In the end, she gave in to some extent and went over to it, clutching to the bars that made up the door. If it was something she could've done at that moment, she would have started crying. Home. Here was one of her truest homes.

Erol watched her, he wanted to just get up and stand next to her, even if he didn't know what to say or do. But his legs refused to work and it was all he could do to watch.

It was about then that she remembered why she'd come down the cursed hallway in the first place: Erol. Shakily she turned away from her cage and looked around the room. There, on the ground. Erol. She didn't know what to say - what was there to say? Again her past had come and ruined her life, this time proving beyond a doubt that she was a monster from hell itself.

"Hey." He said as steadily as he could, which was not at all.

"Hey." She didn't bother trying to make her voice sound like there was any life left in her body. It was if her soul had been killed along with the family and she just hadn't noticed.

"You okay?" he asked, though it was definitely a strange question coming from _him_.

She laughed, a harsh sound. "I'm fine. It's home, right?"

"I guess..."

"Yeah. It's home." She looked around the room again, more memories filling the space. There was a little girl in the cell now, curled up and sobbing with pain. And a man outside, laughing as he filled out papers. Her heart became solid stone.

Erol could practically see the change in her, it was unnerving. He attempted to stand but failed miserably. He was going to be there for a while.

"Can you stand?"

"No."

She nodded. "I'll get Cayden to help then. I may be here for quite a while." Meaning anywhere up to a few weeks as far as she was concerned.

He had no clue what she meant, he wasn't sure he wanted to understand at that moment in time either.

Kaen just turned away and took out her phone. "Cayden? Erol can't get up, can you come get him?"

"Sure, I guess. And yourself?"

"I might be here for a while."

"Very well. I'll be right there."

She sighed as he disconnected the call and put her phone away. Why didn't she feel anything?

"You sure you're okay sweetheart?"

She knew she wasn't, not one bit, but she didn't know how to say it. So she didn't speak at all, only stood there, watching her hands shake with anger.

"You're not." It wasn't a question. "Sorry, it's my fault you came back down here...I should've listened to you..." She wasn't okay and it was _his_ fault. The thought of being at least partially responsible for her current condition hurt him more than any physical wound.

"It's not your fault, I _decided_ to follow you." She paused, then added in a nearly inaudible whisper, "And I did this."

"It's okay, I don't blame you."

"Maybe you don't, but they do."

He shrugged and decided to try standing again. Again he couldn't manage it.

Cayden, who had just finished braving the hallway, strode into the experimentation room and straight over to Erol. "You ready to go?" he asked.

Erol looked up, as if Cayden didn't make him feel short enough when they were both standing up. "Yeah, I'd say I am."

"Then we'll go." He grabbed his, he hated to say it, _master's_ arm and hauled him up. Cayden glanced at Kaen, who was still not facing them, and said, "It's not your fault. It was that thing in your head, not you. I swear it."

She didn't turn. "Leave me."

Cayden bowed his head, then turned his attention back to Erol. "Can you walk now that you're up?"

"Maybe."

"Why don't you try? Unless you'd like me to carry you back through the hallway."

Erol pulled a face. "I'll pass on the carrying thanks."

"Then let's walk." Cayden started dragging him towards the door. Whether the other man wanted to or not, they were leaving.

Erol didn't put up a fight, it seemed once he was back on his feet his legs obeyed him once more and he was able to walk - rather unsteadily still - out of the hallway.

Kaen heard them go, thankful that she was alone. Now was the emotion coming to the surface, ready to be released after so much suppression. She walked straight back to her cell, then opened the door. From there she went straight to the bed, picked up the ratty old blanket and began to sob.

As they exited the hallway Erol glanced back, he hated the idea of leaving Kaen there.

"She'll be fine I think. I would rather if she'd never had to venture down there, but," Cayden shrugged, not bothering to finish his sentence.

"Oops?"

"Not your fault I suppose, though I would prefer if you stopped sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. We might as well get out of here - Kaen won't be leaving that room for several days I should think."

It was strange; Cayden seemed to be acting in a way that could almost be called civil. Erol nodded, casting one last glance down the hallway.

--

And Cayden was right; she didn't remerge for several days. Actually, Kaen didn't even move for the first two and had only recently graduated to being able to walk around. Her arms were covered in deep cuts from the scratching she'd been doing - the blood was refusing to come off. She'd been in there for eight days.

On the outside, Cayden was becoming a little worried. For all he knew, she'd killed herself on her father's machinery. Usually he'd have checked, but going down the hallway made his stomach churn and he wasn't eager to do it any time soon.

Erol hadn't been able to convince himself that he wasn't the cause of this. If only he hadn't gone down there in the first place...

Valen knew exactly what was going on and what was happening. True, he _hadn't_ left his room since the wedding, but gossip traveled fast. They would be waiting a long time before she'd come out. A _very_ long time, much longer than he'd have originally suspected. The wounding went deep, very deep.

It was beginning to drive Erol insane; he needed to see her, desperately. He was worried about her.

Kaen wished Erol was there sometimes, but he'd hate her even more now in this more animalistic state she'd reverted to. Her soul was on the mend, but it was taking longer than she'd expected. And she was lonely in there, in the darkness of hell. Very lonely.

He gave up, whether or not she was down that hallway, he was going to her.

Cayden watched Erol go - he hadn't stopped watching the man for more than a few hours at a time. He wished him luck, who knew what would be waiting for him in the dark?

He cringed as he walked through the crimson corridor, but he forced himself to ignore it, and he made it to the end of the hallway fairly quickly.

Kaen was, at that moment, curled up in the back of her cell, waiting in the darkness as if Faine were to approach at any moment. She had to keep reminding herself that he was dead, that she'd killed him, a thought which didn't exactly console her any more.

"Kaen?"

She twitched, someone was there. Faine was dead, dead, dead - it couldn't be him. "Who's there?" she asked as loudly as she could, which wasn't very loud. After over a week of no food or water and very little sleep, her voice was mostly shot.

"It's just me," he decided to specify, "Erol."

"Oh." She couldn't say any more, her throat was starting to ache.

He walked over to the cell, "Mind if I come in?"

She nodded, then realized he probably couldn't see her - providing the lights were actually off and she wasn't hallucinating - and said, "Sure."

He opened the door and entered, sitting down next to her. It didn't take a genius to tell that she wasn't faring too well and he pulled her close to him in a gentle embrace.

She inched closer to him, feeling a little better as she did so. Again, warmth and safety.

"You doing okay?"

"I've locked myself in a cell, in what I think is the dark, for over a week. Does that sound okay to you?"

"No. Not at all."

"Are you okay?"

"Pretty okay."

"That's good." Her arms had that itchy, wet feeling again, the feeling of fresh blood. That was just great, now he too would be covered in blood.

"Are you bleeding?"

"Yes."

He sighed, "Will you fight me if I bring you out of here so I can try to deal with it?"

She shook her head, feeling very much like the little girl that once resided in there all those years ago.

"Alright," he pulled her closer and hoisted her up into his arms. She always seemed to be lighter than he expected.

She just closed her eyes and let him take her out of there. She had a feeling she'd be having several heart-to-heart chats with Valen after this little episode.

He barely even reacted to the hallway as he brought her out into the main part of the house.

The light even hurt her closed eyes, but she tried to ignore the pain. They were outside, in the real manor again and out of the torture chamber. Her arms were aching with the need to be itched, so she started to scratch them. Maybe the blood would come off this time.

He let out an involuntary hiss when he saw her arms, "Oh Kaen..." it looked bad. He hoped it was just the dried blood making it look worse than it actually was.

She opened her eyes a little and stopped scratching. "Yeah?"

"Your arms...Stop scratching them."

"But the blood won't come off, it's caked on, it doesn't come off unless I scratch it and it still won't come off!"

"Kaen relax. I'm going to take you the bathroom and _I_ will get it off for you, alright?"

"Okay, but I don't know if it will. It's been there a very long time."

"Then you'll have to trust me on it."

She nodded, then closed her eyes and tried to refrain from scratching.

He took her to the closest bathroom and kept the lights dim as he grabbed a washcloth. He set her down and ran some warm water. He started with her right arm first, carefully wiping away any blood that he could see.

The water stung and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. He _was_ right; the blood did seem to be coming off.

"You alright?" He asked noticing her biting her lip.

"It hurts," she admitted.

"I know, it's okay, I'm nearly done."

"Okay." Her sanity seemed to be making its way back into her mind, replacing the child that had been there.

He inspected her forearm, making sure he'd gotten it all before proceeding to take her left and clean it as well. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, it was hard to admit that he had no idea what she'd been doing or had been putting herself through. Whatever it was couldn't have been good for her.

"My arm's bleeding again." The arm he'd just cleaned was now caked with blood, much to Kaen's dismay.

He looked at it. "No it's not." It was still clean, "You're just seeing things."

"Am I insane again?"

"No."

"Then why am I seeing things?" Especially blood that was _obviously_ there.

"You're just over tired," And under fed and dehydrated… "I swear, there's nothing there.

"I guess…Why can I see it then?"

"Your mind's just playing tricks on you."

"Oh."

He finished cleaning her arm and wondered if he should put disinfectant on it. "Okay, you're clean."

"I'm telling you, it's still there." She wanted to scratch her arms, they were itching again. But since he wouldn't let her, she contented herself with scratching her bloody face instead.

He reached out and pulled her hand away from her face, "Don't." He began to wipe off her face.

"But…" she sighed, "I give up."

"Good," he finished and kissed her forehead, "Anywhere else?"

"The blood?"

"Yes."

"All over." Even her clothes were painted red. "My legs are bad, so are my arms and face. They itch."

"There's not any on your arms or face anymore." He could see that there was some on her legs and decided to clean them. Maybe he should've just put her in the shower…

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Kaen watched as he worked, wincing every so often when the water touched a new cut. Her memory was fuzzy and she was trying to piece things together.

"You look confused…"

"I'm trying to remember what happened…it's like looking at two different pictures at the same time."

"You locked yourself away for eight days." He was nearly done.

"Did I?"

"Yes. You did."

One part of her mind agreed with him, but the other didn't. "Wasn't Faine just here though?"

"No sweetheart, he's dead."

"Did I kill him?"

"You did, but you're _not_ covered in blood. It was more than a decade ago."

Her eyes widened, "What?" Again, a part of her mind agreed, "Fifteen years ago…" That made sense…

"Yes." He gave her leg a final wipe. "Want me to clean anywhere else?"

"The blood just comes back, but do what you want." Her voice was getting stronger, her mentality getting older. After figuring out _some_ of what must have happened, Kaen was finding herself piecing together her life since the cage.

Taking that to mean that there was nowhere else bothering her, he stood and rinsed out the washcloth.

"Erol?"

"Yeah?"

"How long did I stay?" More memories, some including her drinking her own blood. She shivered.

He knelt next to her, "Just over a week."  
"Oh." Dirtiness, self torture, darkness. There was no blood, there couldn't be, but she could feel it on her arms. Maybe she had cut them open herself. Or maybe not.

He took her hand and squeezed it gently.

She yawned, three days of no sleep were catching up on her. So was the hunger and thirst, stronger than ever before. Weakly she squeezed his hand back, her way of trying to say, 'I'm okay, really I am.'

He pulled her close to him, not sure what he believed what she was trying to say. He couldn't decide whether he should try to get her to eat something or just take her to bed.

Kaen relaxed in his arms, feeling herself falling asleep on the spot. He was extremely soft compared to the block of wood she'd been sleeping on for the past week.

Bed it was. He picked her up to take her to their bedroom.

And she promptly fell into a very deep sleep.


	3. Chapter Two

Right, well, here it is. Kaen, Valen, Cayden, Jance and Ripp all belong to us. Knives are mine.

On with the show.

* * *

It was three days before Kaen woke up fully, completely rested, but extremely weak. She was surprised that the doctors hadn't stolen her away to the infirmary yet. Luckily, the wounds on her arms weren't yet healed and when Kaen woke up, she ripped off a scab and drank the liquid that poured out. Sweet and tasty, but coppery too. It helped.

Erol walked into the room, "Kaen!"

She pulled her arm away from her lips, "Morning."

"Afternoon actually…" Erol said, walking over to her. "Don't drink yourself sweetheart. I can get you something better to drink…"

Kaen grinned, licking away the last drops of blood from her lips. "Good afternoon then. I'll try to restrain myself. How are you?"

"I'm alright," he sat down and put an arm around her, "How're you feeling?"

"Weak, but otherwise alright."

"Any more blood?"

"What?" she looked down at her arms, there was only blood from the cut she'd ripped open, "Yeah, there is."

"Other than that bit."

"I don't think so; unless it's somewhere I can't see from here.

"That's good. I'd be worried if you were still seeing blood all over you." He kissed her forehead, "Want me to get you anything?"

"Food's nice." She sighed, "But I don't want you to leave."

"I can get the chef to bring something up. What do you feel like?"

"Food."

"Be slightly more specific."

"Um…chicken penne?"

"Whatever you want," he pulled out his phone and called the chef, giving him the order.

"Thanks," she smiled and leaned her head against his chest. "And I'm really sorry about three days ago."

"It's alright."

"I," she struggled to remember, "I became my twelve year old self while being my twenty-seven year old self. Two people, two memories, two time periods."

"That explains a bit," he nuzzled her neck, "I'm glad you're yourself again."

"So am I – my life at twelve wasn't as nice as it is now. I didn't have you, for example."

He smiled, "You're sweet."

"I know."

He kissed her forehead, "I love you."

"Love you too." She kissed his neck, then curled back up against him.

He tightened his grip on her, feeling relief flood him; she was really okay now…

"You're acting as sappy as me."

"I can't help it."

"_You_ can't help it, _you_ can't help it. God…I'm having trouble thinking right now."

"It's okay, you're allowed to not be able to think straight."

"And why would not being able to think straight be okay?"

He shrugged.

"You're not thinking straight either, are you?"

"Nope."

"Mmm…That's okay." The past eleven days had been pushed from her mind.

He nipped gently at her neck, trying to keep himself in check.

She leaned up and kissed him. He was _impossible_.

He nuzzled her again.

"Have I ever mentioned how glad I am that you're not made of metal anymore?"

"No, I don't believe you have."  
"I'm extremely glad you're not made of metal anymore."

"So am I." The reminder made him cringe. That had been nothing short of _torture_.

She touched his cheek, the one that had previously not been flesh. "I missed you so much then…" And now she had him back.

"That was so hard…It was agony…"

"All the time? Or just when…" There was a faint scar where the bullet had wounded her.

"Just when you were there. I didn't _really_ mind the rest of the time."

"Power hungry cyborg much. You made my life miserable with that havoc you caused. Of course, Torn was helping, but still. I suppose my showing up was punishment enough."

"More than." He kept her close enjoying the feel of her against him.

"Then I suppose we're even, aren't we?" She closed her eyes and let him hold her. So close now, how did she survive all those months?

The door opened and one of the servants came in with Kaen's meal.

Erol nudged her, "Time to eat sweetheart."

"Mmm…food. Bring it over here," she commanded. The servant did, placing it down on her night table and hurrying away again. Substance – it was beautiful.

Erol let her go so she could eat.

It didn't take her long to eat, her stomach was grateful to be full.

"Better?" Erol asked.

"Much better. Almost as good as blood," she grinned.

"I hope you're joking."

"And if I'm not?"  
"I'll be worried."

"I'm half joking."

"Then I'm half worried," he smirked.

"You astound me."

"I know."

"Will you ever respond differently?"

"I doubt it."

"Can you _try_, just one time?"

"Maybe," he kissed her, "Just not right now."

"Wow," she kissed him back, wondering if he'd ever respond differently, "What will I ever do with you?"

"I have no idea," he replied, pressing his lips to her neck.

"Well that's not helpful." Her brain was completely short circuiting.

"It wasn't supposed to be," he murmured.

"Oh, that makes more sense."

"Doesn't it?" his lips tugged gently at her neck.

Kaen gave up talking; knowing full well she probably couldn't make a connected sentence. Instead she just kissed him and pulled him closer to her.

He didn't put up any resistance to her. Why would he? His lips brushed hers.

"Why does this always seem to happen no matter what our original topic?"

He shrugged, "I think it's a newlywed thing." Of course that excuse didn't explain the reasoning behind why they'd always done it _before_ getting married...

"This was a problem _before_ we got married dear."

"Well, now we have an excuse."

"Alright, point. No one can actually bug us now." She brushed her lips against his neck.

He pulled her closer to him, running a hand through her hair as he kissed her again.

Her heart went all flip-floppy as he kissed her. She vaguely wondered what time it was, they had probably been there for quite a while. "What time is it?"

"About three."

"Do you think getting up is a good idea?"

"Depends..." on where this was going.

"Depends…? What you personally suggest?"

"Your choice."

"Personally I think it's a terrible idea, but I might have work and who knows about how the city is running today…" she paused, "Screw that. Whatever. I'm not getting up." She kissed him in slight irritation.

He smirked slightly as he rubbed his nose against her neck. One hand slid up the back of her shirt, if she wasn't going to get up…

"You're a scandal."

"I'm aware of this."

"Good, as long as you're aware." Then she kissed him again and completely gave in.

A few hours later, Kaen woke up to someone's knocking at the door. She groaned in irritation, then poked her husband. "Wake up."

Erol moaned, "No."

"There's someone at the door."

He rolled over and sat up, "Fine I'm awake."

She laughed weakly; then asked the person on the other side of the door, "Who is it?"

"It's Valen," his voice was tired, "Can I come in?"

"One second!"

Erol got up and proceeded to find his clothing. "Here's your shirt," he said tossing the garment to Kaen.

"Thank you." She slipped it on, not feeling it was important to search for everything at the moment. "You decent? I'm more concerned for you with Val involved."

Erol glanced at himself, "Yes, I'm decent," he had pants, it didn't matter if Valen saw him without a shirt, it was nothing new.

"You can come in Val!"

"Thank you for sparing my eyes." The shrink entered the room, stopping about three steps in. "You guys up for some drinking tonight?"

Erol raised an eyebrow at the psychologist, "_You're_ suggesting that we go drinking?"

"We got invited actually. You up for it?"

"Sure, Kaen?"

"I'm up for it, though the last time I attempted to drink it turned out disastrously."

"Well, that was a while ago, I somehow don't think that you'd have the same reaction to me kissing you that you did back then."

"No, I don't suspect I will. It was _very_ creepy though, I still hold to that."

Valen shuddered, "Don't remind me."

"I don't see your problem," Erol said. He hadn't been kissing Valen, or maybe that _was_ the problem. He could never really be sure anymore.

"I thought you were going to molest her! And then what you did to Jak…"

"Alright, alright, fair enough."

"Anyway, I'll leave the pair of you to get dressed. Whether you're with me or not, I'm leaving in about twenty minutes." And he was out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Erol decided to go find his shirt...

Kaen decided to just find some new clothes altogether.

Valen decided that he wished he could drink - it would probably help drive some of the images in his head away.

It didn't take Erol too long to find his shirt and he waited for Kaen before heading out of their room to go meet Valen.

She finished and went to join him. "So who'd you think invited us to go?"

"I don't know, probably Torn..." He stopped and thought about it, "Do they even know that I'm around again?"

"Urm… Something suggests 'only if the Monitor told them'. Do you think Val put in an extensive wedding announcement?"

"Oh god... I hope not..."

"Well, we can ask him - here he comes. Do you want to ask or should I?"

"Be my guest..."

"Oh ha ha ha," she said dryly.

Valen walked up to the pair. "No, I did not put an announcement in the Monitor," he said before Kaen could open her mouth. "No, they haven't got a clue you're coming Erol. Yes, they might fall over and die. Are you ready to go?"

Erol nodded. Valen was acting oddly; he didn't seem to have any of his usual zest about him.

Kaen nodded as well, though looking slightly wary. "Who's driving?"

"Depends on whether or not Erol wants to drive."

"I can take us there, but there's no way I'm doing the return trip."

"I know that, I was more wondering whether or not you were up to driving. You are not allowed to drive if certain somethings distract you every four seconds. It's dangerous enough as it is."

"Relax," Erol sighed, "I'm up to it, unless _you'd_ rather..."

"No, I'm good just riding. Jance is already downstairs waiting."

"Jance is coming?"

"Course, why wouldn't he?"

"I don't know. It just didn't strike me, that's all..."

Kaen laughed, "You didn't forget about him, did you?"

"No! I'm not that much of a git."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes. C'mon, let's go."

"Not so sure…" She sighed; then began to make her way to the front door. They amazed her…

Jance glanced up at the sound of the footsteps. His eyes fell on the keys in Erol's hand. "Oh god..." he pointed accusingly at his sibling, "_No_."

"What?" Erol asked as innocently as he could, which wasn't at all.

"You are _not_ driving. I remember the last time." Jance shuddered.

"The last time what?" Kaen asked, interested.

"He drove." Jance shuddered again.

Erol rolled his eyes, "You're still overreacting about that?"

"Overreacting about what?"

"He damn near killed me!"

"I did not...Jance...honestly."

Kaen raised an eyebrow, "How did this happen? I'm curious."

"I was still learning, well, still learning for street driving anyway..."

"That's better than your old excuse." Jance muttered.

"What was his old excuse?"

"That the tree came out of nowhere."

"IT DID!"

"EROL!"

"Yes love?"

"You _drove_ into a tree?"

"I was learning! But yes...I did..."

She twitched, "And now I'm supposed to get into a car your driving?"

"I was sixteen!"

"That's even scarier…"

"Slummer rules..." Both brothers said at the same time.

"What?"

Jance shrugged, "In the slums you can drive at a young age, or at least you _used_ to be able to..."

"Remind me to make sure you _can't_ do that anymore…"

Jance sighed, "Jade will be crushed..." he _almost_ sounded sorry.

Erol snorted, "Screw him."

"I still have yet to meet your family…"

"No, you haven't. Kaen, you know Jance. Jance, you know Kaen. That's it."

"What about your father and step family?"

Erol pulled a face. "Not happening any time soon."

"One day I will speak to them. Sure, they might shoot me like anyone else in the slums, but it'd be worth it. Now, are we going?"

Erol nodded, "Yeah. Let's go."

Valen nodded and headed out the door before any of them. The pressure in his chest, the one that had been there since the wedding, was growing worse.

"Val? You okay?" The counseling sessions had been cancelled since Erol and Kaen's marriage, but Jance knew it wasn't because he was stable.

"Honestly? No, I'm not. Social answer? Yes, I'm fine."

"Then what's up?" Jance had never cared for social answers.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"Alright, you asked for it," Valen took a deep breath and turned to face the other man, "The person I've been in love with since I was eight just got married to someone else. Worst of all, it was extremely romantic. My attacks are getting more frequent and worse. And I'm supposed to have it all together."

Jance nodded slowly, parts of it he didn't really get, but he relatively understood the attacks. "It's okay, no one expects you to be perfectly together all the time; it's just not possible."

"Not if you're me. I'm the guy who's almost always had it all together, even in the worst of times. I guess this time just tipped me over the edge." He glanced over his shoulder at the offending couple.

"They can't help it and neither can you." Jance, for once, seemed to be acting his age.

"I know, but it doesn't make it hard. And they're _always_ together, locked away and stuff… I shouldn't feel this way, I _know_, especially since Kaen's breakdown, but I can't help it!"

"I know," Jance put a hand on Valen's shoulder, the first time he'd touched the psychologist, or any male, voluntarily for a long time. "It'll be okay."

Valen stared at the hand, mind switch immediately back to shrink mode. "You just touched my shoulder…"

Jance stared at his hand as well, he blinked a few times. What the hell was that doing _there_?

"What are you all staring at?" Kaen came up from behind and asked. "I thought we were leaving."

"We are," Valen said, still shocked. "And it's just one of those psychology things…"

She shrugged, "Okay. Are you two okay?"

"Define okay..." Jance said, removing his hand from Valen, trying to withstand the sudden desire to scream.

"We'll be fine," Valen's voice was calm and soothing. "Now let's just get going. You've got the keys Erol?"

"Yep," the redhead brandished them before heading out the door.

Valen stared at him for a moment; then followed. It was hopeless.

Jance's hand had, for some reason, gone back to Valen's shoulder and had given it a squeeze before he followed his brother out the door.

Kaen put two and two together to make four; then decided it was too much math and that she should just get in the car.

Strangely enough, for once in his life, Erol actually followed the speed limit.

Everyone in the vehicle was extremely grateful that he did.

Erol stopped the car and parked. He held the keys out to Valen. "Here."

"Alright." He took them. "Everyone else, out."

The redhead got out, muttering something under his breath about 'slow driving'.

Jance slipped out of the vehicle and made a big show of being surprised that he was still in one piece.

"Thank you for driving like a normal, sane person Erol," Kaen said as she got out of the car.

"You're welcome."

"So, we go inside now?" Valen pointed to the door. "Freak everyone out of their minds?"

"Yes," Erol smirked, cracking his knuckles. This was going to be fun.

"Indeed." The crime lady took Valen's now proffered hand, letting him lead her to the door.

Jance followed them, Erol is tow.

Valen was the first to go inside. "They're sitting near the back. Are you alright, my lady?"

"Yes, I'm fine." She hated these social situations sometimes, all manners and snootiness. It was absolutely horrible.

Jance brushed past the two, heading for the back, leaving Erol to lag behind.

"You coming Erol?"

"Yeah?"

Kaen grinned and let Valen drag her to where everyone else was sitting.

Jance had already seated himself with the others, Torn, Ashelin and Ripp. He smirked at the three of them. It would be fun to see their reactions to Erol…

"Hello people," Kaen greeted the others as she approached. "How are you?"

"Good," Ashelin replied, sitting up from where she was leaning on her husband, "How are you?"

The other woman contemplated for a moment. "I'm doing well enough," she said slowly. Understatement.

Ripp gave her a slow nod, his eyes focusing on her left hand. He grabbed her hand and looked at it, "What the hell…" he muttered.

At that moment Erol came over to the table and sat down as thought there was nothing odd about it at all.

"Er… Look, there's something that you guys need to know…" she said quietly. Valen dropped her hand and moved away so the couple could explain.

Torn was staring at them, "Well that's obvious enough."

"And I think it's self explanatory… But is there anything you want to know in particular?"

"What the hell he's doing here would be nice to know."

"I'm not exactly sure… Erol knows more." She turned to her husband.

Erol sighed, "The quick version is, I was brought back by her ancestor."

"And the long version?" Torn asked.

"Forget the long version."

Valen sighed, "Let it go Torn, they won't tell. All we know is that he randomly appeared at your wedding last night."

"What?!"

Erol shrugged, "Don't sweat it, you were distracted. Besides, I wasn't trying to be seen."

"I meant to tell you all, but…I couldn't figure out a way to explain his coming back from the dead."

"You're not the only one," Erol said.

Torn gave him a skeptical look, "Fine…"

Ripp abruptly realized he still had Kaen's hand and released it.

"Thanks Ripp." She grinned. "I apologize again."

Ashelin seemed to be the least shocked, "It's alright. Now, shall we get the drinks?"

"That sounds perfect." Kaen sat down beside her husband.

Valen smiled, then sat down across from the lady he served.

Erol smirked, "Hey Torn? Up for a game?"

Torn raised half of his hairless brow, "Which one?"

"Ten in ten?"

The Freedom League commander shrugged, "Sure. Who else?"

"I suppose I could play…" Kaen said carefully. "Since I do want to beat Erol again…"

"We'll see… Anyone else?"

"I'll play," Ashelin said. "What liquor?"

"I don't particularly care," the other woman sighed. "Valen?"

"Let the great drinkers decide."

"Vodka."

"Very well," said Valen, "I'll fetch it." He turned and left.

Jance got up. "He might need some help. Forty shot glasses is a large number."

"No waitress this time? Thank god." Kaen closed her eyes, trying to block out the gnawing in the back of her mind. Ever since the hallway incident, It had felt more powerful…and now she was having trouble suppressing her other half.

Erol slipped an arm around her shoulders.

She smiled gratefully at him. If anyone could call her back, he could.

"Right, thee beslubbering, common-kissing dewberries! Here art thou drinks!" Valen returned and set down the forty shot glasses. "Thou spleeny, toad-spotted scuts!"Jance bit his lip, trying very hard not to laugh at the randomness of it.

Ripp blinked, "What's with the sudden old English?"

"Thou art confused? Why so, noble sir? Art thou not a pignut? What makes thou continue here?"

"I do believe, kind sir, that the boy art now quite confused. Wherefore Ripp?" Jance said, unable to resist.

The youngest member of the group blinked, now quite lost. Why the old English?

Erol's face met his palm.

"Now! Ho! Shalt we begin thou knaves?" Kaen snapped, impatient. Where the hell was this speech coming from?

"I say we shall. Come now fair ladies, gentle sirs, taketh thine foul drink and begin thy precious fully."

Erol stared at his brother, "For the love of God Jance…"

"Be still mine brother. Utters thou not such blasphemy."

"Let us begin before thine drink fumes englut thy brains!" proclaimed Valen, splitting the drinks between the four players.

Kaen sighed, "Thou art a spleeny, sheep-biting skainsmate Valen."

"And thou art an infectious, ill-breeding strumpet!"

"Alright, alright. Shut up!" strangely enough, it was Ripp who spoke.

"You understand old English?" Val said, shocked. He hoped to God that the younger man had no idea what he'd just called Kaen… "That's cool. Now, let's begin. Drinkers ready?"

Kaen glared at him, "I am." _She'd_ understood the insult.

Ripp's expression matched Kaen's, he knew enough old English to know that Kaen hadn't deserved the name Valen had called her.

Erol had no idea what had been said, but knew that it wasn't good. Judging by the expressions on everyone's faces I had been bad.

There was a long awkward silence. Torn broke it, "So, let's do this. Who's timing?"

"Valen is." Kaen tried to keep her tone polite. "Correct?"

"Yep. Okay people, start."

The game began and at round four Ashelin was out. Erol made it to the seventh round before passing out. It had come down to Kaen and Torn.

"We're on the thirteenth round Torn. Is you won't call this a draw, I'm forfeiting to you," Kaen said, voice only slightly slurred.

"Whatever, we can call this a draw," his words slurred, but he still seemed steady.

"Fine. Valen? Let's go home. I'll try to wake Erol." She tried to poke him, but missed by several inches.

Ripp sighed and went to his brother, taking his arm, "Come on Torn, let's go."

Torn twisted his arm away from the younger man. "Let go of me," he snapped.

"Back off him Torn," Kaen growled. If she'd been in her right mind, she'd have noticed the black creeping into her vision. Desire for blood and warm flesh grew in her mind…it was the need to kill. 'Just give me a reason Torn,' she silently begged, 'Give me a reason to eat you.'

"Cram it," Torn snarled.

Ripp tried to calm his brother down, putting his hand on Torn's shoulder.

"Leave me alone you brat!" Ripp's efforts were stopped by a harsh backhand across the face. Torn shoved Ripp away from him, sending the younger man to the floor. He stood and walked slightly unsteadily to where Ripp now lay shaking in terror.

And suddenly there was a calikite knife sticking through the older man's shoulder. It had pierced through his clothes, flesh and bone… The hilt was slightly buried and the tip was sticking out the other side. Kaen felt pleased with herself – most men couldn't hurl a knife ten feet and have it go through the bone if they were sober.

Torn screamed, falling to his knees in agony.

Ripp's eyes widened and he scrambled away, mentally he was fourteen again…

Kaen jumped out of her chair, Bloodlust completely consuming her mind. "Don't hit your little brother Torn," she scolded as she grabbed the hilt of the knife and twisted it in a full circle.

He screamed again, the bone fracturing and snapping further with the twist.

"I guess it's too late." Kaen pulled the blade up sharply, sending a chunk of bone flying onto the table. Sweet blood flowed from the wound and onto her knife. She raised it out of his shoulder and licked it, consuming all the flesh that was stuck to it.

Jance cast a quick glance at his incapacitated brother, if Erol had been awake he might have been able to stop her. He grimaced, attempting to conjure up the accent he'd lost as a teen. "Kaen," he snapped, managing to sound near identical to Erol. "Stop it!"

"Close Jance, but not quite." She's been startled at first, but It could pick up a flaw miles away. Her mouth lowered to Torn's shoulder. Power, raw power, coursed through her head, body, veins… Sweet flesh and blood.

And then a shot glass came from nowhere and hit her in the head, knocking her out.


	4. Chapter Three

Alright, so here's chapter three. I have nothing really to say except the usual.

Erol, Torn and Ashelin are Naughty Dog's. Everyone else (Cayden, Valen, Kaen, Ripp) are ours. Enjoy.

* * *

Erol woke up with a moan, for a moment unable to remember what had happened. His head was pounding and he moaned against the light in the room. Kaen lay next to him, everything was fine. At least it was until he noticed the blood on his wife's face, arms and hands. He reached over, "Kaen," he tried to nudge her awake, "Kaen, wake up."

Her eyes snapped open. Blood, there had been blood and sweet tender flesh. But whose? There had been blood. She licked her lips in anticipation of a kill that had to come. Then she shook her head, where had that come from?

He wanted to go back to sleep, but now he had to know…He couldn't help staring at her. It wasn't every morning he woke up to a blood soaked wife. What had happened?

The last night's events came flooding back. She'd killed him, Torn was who she killed and ate. Her stomach heaved but she didn't puke, opting to start shaking violently again. "I killed him," she whispered.

"What?!" Erol pulled her close, even if she was covered in blood and had just claimed to have killed someone.

"I killed him and ate him." She began to claw at her arms. "He hurt Ripp, fool hurt my friend; he tasted sweet. I hurt Ashelin but saved Ripp, was it good? Killed him and ate him."

Erol grabbed her wrists, keeping her from digging into her arms, "Who are you talking about?"

Her eyes were wide, wild. "But he hurt his little brother, scared him, so it was okay. Right?" she pleaded.

"Kaen," he spoke slowly, "What are you talking about?"

"Killed and ate him. Torn, should've been Valen. Killed and ate him like the guards, like my family."

Erol's stomach churned. Torn? Had she really? Part of him was disgusted, another part inexplicably hurt, and part was trying to be sensible. He hugged her tightly, in such a way she wouldn't be able to scratch at the blood on her arms.

"Valen, Valen deserved it. Infectious ill-breeding strumpet? I'm not a diseased whore, I'm not…"

Erol blinked, so _that_ was what Valen had called her. "Little bastard…" he muttered.

"I'm not, he's jealous…"

"Of course you're not." Jealous of what?

"Can't let it go. Got me mad, I killed Torn. So what if I married you…Not _his_ call."

She seemed to be making less sense than ever.

"What have I done?"

"I don't know sweetheart…"

Kaen burst into tears.

He held her close, rubbing her back slowly.

She cried and cried, terrified of what had happened. She'd killed someone, Erol's friend, Valen's friend, Ashelin's husband, Ripp's brother…What had she done?

He didn't know what to say, what he could do to console her.

Finally she ran out of tears and only lay there, frightened. "Do you hate me?" she asked quietly.

"No."

"But I killed him! I KILLED HIM!"

He sighed, mental barriers slamming down around the pain he felt. He could deal with it later. Why did it even hurt? He and Torn hadn't gotten along for years.

"I've got to talk to Cayden, Valen, someone. I killed him. I'm a freak, monster, _monster_!" Her head was spinning, twirling, whirling, dancing - pain! Pain! Blood! Her heart beat faster. PAIN! "Monster, freak, evil, evil, freak, uncontrollable, unlovable, should be dead, dead, dead! Better dead than a murder! Dead like him! Freak! Freak!"

"Kaen," his voice was soothing, "Shh," he continued to rub her back. She couldn't be rational if she wasn't calm. Not that he was one to think about being rationality. He was the one attempting to console the woman who claimed to have murdered his childhood friend, and he felt nothing. Erol put a finger to Kaen's lips. "That's enough." He said quite calmly.

She couldn't figure out why she was acting the way she was, so irrational and panicky. It must have been the way her body reacted to having two people trying to talk with the same mouth at the same time. She tried to get it across, maybe it would help him understand. "There's two of us…"

"You and...?" He couldn't even sound confused, all emotion was being cut off. His last resort to protect himself from the pain.

Now that it had come to her, It seemed to be slipping away again. "Me and It, two of us, one mouth, doesn't work well." There, more understandable.

"Ah..."

"Yeah…" Her mouth was moving normally again, at least as far as she could tell. "I'm sorry," she managed to get out, "He was your best friend."

"Used to be..." and with those three words, every barrier that had gone up in his mind abruptly collapsed. Erol started to shake, his teeth sank into his lower lip to try and help him recapture and contain his emotions.

"Just let it out - I did."

He drew a shuddering breath, one final attempt to still himself. He didn't want to let it out, what was the point?

"Just do it."

And he broke down.

And Kaen just sat there, finding it impossible to comfort him in the way he was holding her. What right did she have to comfort him really? She'd killed his best friend!

The memories that accompanied the tears hurt and he pulled away from Kaen slightly. It was as though he were reliving every moment he'd spent with Torn, from the time they were in elementary school up until...Until their fallout. That one stung the most.

She felt her own heart tear open, the taste of his blood still lay heavy on her tongue. She was a freak, a monster, she destroyed everything she touched. Everyone.

Erol forced himself back into control, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. He said nothing; if he tried to speak his control would be lost again.

Her entire being shut down, contemplating what to do next. Revenge, knowledge, comfort? Who knew? It wasn't a decision she wanted to make.

He looked at her, unsure what to do, unsure what to say.

"Should I go?"

He shook his head, still not trusting himself to try talking again.

"Should I stay?"

He nodded.

"Can I give you a hug?"

Again he nodded.

She wrapped her blood covered arms around him, holding him close and offering what little comfort she could.

The tears began again, silently sliding down his cheeks.

Gently she rubbed his back, hoping he could forgive her after this. The last time he'd cried in her arms - _really_ cried - was when she'd spoken of his mother. And Jance. Was there a chance that Torn could be alive as well?

He clung to her. She was the only thing that seemed real; sturdy...He could hardly stand it.

"It'll be alright in the end, I swear it will," she whispered. "In any case, we both know better than most that we'll see him again."

"That's true." His voice was strained.

"If you want to know the truth, I'm not altogether sure he's kicked it anymore."

"What?!"

She shrugged, "I'm not sure, I'm just contemplating. The last time you had an…_emotional moment_ like this, it was over your mother and Jance. Point, your mother was dead, but Jance… He's still alive and as irritating as ever."

"So you're basing this completely on the fact that I seem to breakdown over people who are apparently alive?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Your point?"

"My point is that you have next to no basis for this assumption." But her words were making him feel better, maybe, _maybe_ Torn _had_ survived...

"I swear, I can feel it. But that still doesn't explain the blood in my mouth… Maybe I only ate part of him." It sounded hopeful to her.

Erol shuddered, "That sounds, _so_ wrong. Even eating part of Torn..." He trailed off.

"Well I apologize for being a freak! Do you think I _enjoy_ the desire for blood?"

"Sometimes..."

"Half of me does, I suppose, a part I can't control. But how do you think it feels to wake up and fear that you've killed the person you love most because you can't control yourself? That because _you_ care for them, so does your other side and the other side likes their blood best? Do you understand that?"

"I'm afraid that I don't," he let go of her and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. He now had one hell of a headache...

She looked away, ashamed and disgusted with herself. He _had_ possibly just lost his friend; she had to remember that, but to talk about the other side of her… Like it wasn't actually a problem she had to face every hour of her waking life… If she wasn't so angry at him, Kaen would have gone to talk to Valen right then and there, but he was part of the problem. It was hopeless.

"You should probably go get cleaned up, unless you like all that blood on you." Erol said, putting his head in his hands, he could practically feel his temples pounding.

"Apparently." Kaen got out of bed and headed for the door, not for the shower. Why had she ever left her cell? Soon enough she'd be back there, after she talked to Cayden about whether or not Torn had lived. Back to her cage, where something like her belonged.

Erol watched her go before deciding to go take an aspirin.

--

Cayden was sitting at his desk, head in his hands. So what if Kaen had gone ballistic the night before! It didn't matter, she was the same girl underneath and the world should've just gotten used to that! Why? Why?

Kaen knocked on the door, calling out, "Can I come in Cayden?"

He looked up. "Of course Kaen! Are you alright?"

She opened the door and entered into the office, not too far in, but close enough to be seen and heard. "Did I kill Torn last night?" she said quickly.

"No, you didn't. According to witnesses, you ripped out his shoulder and then sucked off the blood and guts from the knife. No big deal. He's in the hospital and he'll be just fine, though he might have to wait a while for use of his right hand. Why?"

"Just wondering. If Erol comes down here, can you tell him that?"

"Sure, but why wouldn't you? Where are you going?"

She sighed. "Where I belong. See you Cayden." She turned on her heel and walked out the door once again, heading back to the hallway.

--

Erol's head was still pounding when he headed out into the main part of the house. His eyes still stung, and his headache was still there, but the pain seemed to be fading. He looked around for Kaen but couldn't seem to find her. Maybe Cayden would know where she'd gone...

He walked to the bodyguard's office and knocked.

"Come in!" the big man barked.

Erol edged into the office. "Hey."

"So you're awake now?"

"Yes..." what sort of question was that?

"Miss Kaen was in here earlier, asking about Torn. He's fine, wounded, but fine."

"Oh. Good. Do you know where she is?"

"In her cell, possibly killing herself. Why?"

"Just wondering. I'm worried about her."

Cayden shrugged. "She seemed offended, as if you or someone else said something that extremely wounded her. Or that she'd just gone under a severe verbal beating," he narrowed his eyes, "Which you'd know _nothing_ about, correct?"

Erol thought about it, thinking back on the conversation they'd had. It didn't seem like he'd said anything offensive..."No I don't think I-" he broke off as something clicked, "Valen..."

"What'd he do?"

"I believe he called her a..." he paused trying to remember the wording, "Infectious ill-breeding strumpet, or something like that..."

"WHAT?!" Cayden jumped up out of his chair. "HE DIDN'T!"

"He did."

"I'm going to kill him. Just because he can't get over your marrying her…" the other man's voice trailed off threateningly. "If you'll excuse me, I need to call someone down to my office."

"Go for it. Does that mean you want me out?"

"Immediately. Valen and me need to have a heart-to-heart."

"Alright. See you then." Erol turned and left. Even though he really didn't want to go back down that hallway again...he wasn't about to leave Kaen in that cell alone.

--

Kaen made sure the lights were off this time, there was less chance to see the blood. She sat in her cell, chin resting on her knees, which were covered by the blanket. In her brothers' bathroom she'd washed off the blood and had retreated to her corner to contemplate.

--

Erol shuddered as he entered the hallway. He hoped he wouldn't be doing this too often...but he knew, no matter how often Kaen came down here, he'd always come after her.

Maybe she'd rot down there, in her corner. But she wasn't in the mood to die, not really. It was just a place to think about what happened in her life and that was what she was doing.

"Kaen?" he called as he entered the room containing her cell. "You here?"

"Yes." So he_ had_ come. Would he be better now, nicer maybe? She shrugged to herself.

"You okay?"

"I'm not going to answer that question."

"I'm sorry if I said something to offend you..."

So he didn't know what he'd said… "It's alright." Even if it wasn't.

"No it's not."

"Point, it's not."

He sat down outside her cell. "I'm sorry." He wasn't even sure what he'd said...

"It'll be alright."

He sighed.

"What's that for?"

"Well, I'm obviously a git...since I don't even know what I said...I shouldn't let things get the better of me like that. I don't like making you feel bad..."

She bit her bottom lip. "You just touched a sore spot…"

"Sorry..."

"It's alright!" Now she was frustrated. Well at least they were already dealing with one of their first fights…

"So," he began conversationally, "How long do you plan on staying here this time?"

"Possibly the rest of my life. Why?"

"Because."

"Oh." She curled her arms tighter around her legs, watching where she thought he was.

"I'm not leaving until you do."

"You're going to be here a long time."

"I'd gathered..."

"Do you want to come in?"

He shrugged, "Sure..." He got up and opened the door to her cell, sitting down next to her.

"How are you doing now?" She moved over a little so as to free up some of the wooden plank.

He shrugged. "No idea."

"Oh. Any way I can help?"

He slipped an arm around her, not saying anything.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. Now she felt she could forgive him.

Erol kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek against it, vaguely wondering how long they'd be here.

"Sorry for dragging you down here."

"It's alright."

"Why did you come back and marry me Erol? Why didn't you just stay with some stable dead woman or something?"

"Because I don't love some stable dead woman. I love _you_."

"At least she wouldn't try to kill your best friends."

"You can hardly apply that label to me and Torn anymore."

"His possible death made you start crying."

"Don't remind me..."

"Why not? I can't exactly put that moment from my mind either."

"You know I don't like crying in front of people."

"I know love, and I'm sorry about that. It hurt him, tried to kill him, craved him. I didn't mean to hurt him…"

"I know. You two might hate each other, but you wouldn't just try to kill him on a whim." He slipped his second arm around her and twitched suddenly. His eyes darted around the cell as his heart began to race. The walls seemed too close, threatening to close down around him. An unexplainable terror paralyzed him, the cell was too small, too dark…His claustrophobia had kicked in…

"Erol? What's wrong?"

He couldn't reply, her words didn't even register in his mind. What the hell was he doing? Why had he come in here?

"Don't tell me you're scared of the dark…"

"It's not just the dark…" his voice was near inaudible.

"Dark confined spaces?"

"Yes…"

"Can you stand up or should I push or pull you out?"

He couldn't move, still frozen by his fear.

"Alright, I'll push you out." Kaen sighed, stood up and pushed Erol out of her cell.

Space. It was still dark but there was _space_.

"Do you want me to turn the lights on?"

"Lights would be good…"

She went over to the nearest light switch and flicked it on. Immediately, bright white light illuminated the room. "Better?"

"Yes. Thanks."

"Anything I can do to help?" Kaen returned to Erol's side.

"I don't know." He couldn't remember the last time his phobia had gotten the better of him like that. He could feel himself shaking.

Seeing his shaking, Kaen did the only thing she thought might help. She hugged him. "It's okay," she said quietly, "Nothing's wrong."

"I know. it's just…"

"Just?"

"I don't know. Just an irrational fear."

"That's alright, I have one too." Then, for some unknown reason, she started to laugh. There was something very odd and nonsensical about the situation.

He fixed her with a flat stare, "It's not funny."

"Yes it is, for several reasons. Anyway, I'm not laughing at _you_."

"Just my phobia."

"Mine too!"

"What's yours?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm agoraphobic Erol."

"How did we end up together again?"

"You tell me. I get my falling for you more than your falling for me."

He shrugged, "I think it's a mystery," his shaking had stopped and he finally returned the hug. "But I still love you."

"Good. And I still love you too."

He kissed her.

She kissed him back, quite pleased by the turn in the conversation.

He rubbed his nose against her neck, his fear of a few moments previously all but forgotten.

Her lips brushed his cheeks, his lips, his neck. Save and warm.

His lips tugged gently against the nape of her neck.

"I rest my case," she murmured, "This totally proves my point."

"What point?"

"No matter our original topic, we always end up doing this."

"This is true."

"Like I said." She shrugged, "Who cares?"

He shrugged again and kissed her again. Everything was alright again.


	5. Chapter Four

Alright, here's the next installment. Introduction of a new person. Kaen, Aaric, Valen, Jance, Cayden and Kyra all belong to us. KNives are mine.

On with the show.

* * *

Aaric sat beneath an old oak tree, looking down at his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great granddaughter and her husband. They were entertaining, thought he did grant them some privacy. He _did_ need time to gather more apples from the tree he was sitting under.

In death, the old man had decided long ago that apples should grow on oak trees. End of story.

Anyway, as he was watching, a funny idea came to mind. Why not throw a new twist into their lives? One they wouldn't expect, weren't yet prepared for? Yes, it sounded splendid. What could go wrong?

Time for a special surprise.

--

Erol woke up, blinking in the light; one arm was around his wife. It had been about a week since the drinking incident. He'd managed to get Kaen to leave her cell before she'd even spent one night there again.

Kaen didn't particularly want to get up, though she knew she'd have to eventually. The city had been nice to her as of late, making her workdays shorter and less stressful. Valen was helping out a lot too – after his chat with Cayden, he seemed to have calmed down and actually apologized.

Erol shifted and brushed some of her hair away back off her forehead before brushing his lips against the newly exposed skin.

"You're awake too?" Kaen said, yawning. Her stomach had started hurting that morning; it seemed she was suffering from a small bout of nausea. But it wasn't anything fatal and she decided to keep it to herself.

"Yeah. How are you this morning?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Yourself?"

"Good." He pressed his lips to her forehead again.

She shifted closer to him, enjoying his presence and warmth. "That's good. What time is it?"

"About seven-thirty."

"Oh god. Do we actually have to get up?"

"It's strongly suggested."

"Uggh…" Her stomach was _really_ starting to hurt. "Is my meeting with the drug lords today? Since you seem to know my schedule better than I do?"

"Tomorrow. Are you sure you're fine?"  
"Yep. Perfectly…" Her stomach heaved, but she managed to hold it in, "Know what? I'll be right back." Kaen got out of bed and headed for the bathroom – at a dignified speed, not a run – where she promptly threw up. She proceeded to wash out her mouth and brushed her teeth, then headed back to bed. "Back."

Erol was sitting up and he raised an eyebrow at her. He'd heard the retching.

"What?" she asked innocently, sitting down beside him.

"Does throwing up qualify as 'fine' to you?"

"Not usually…" It was coming back, just as strong. "I'll be fine. One second." She got back up and repeated the process, though she let her stomach purge itself completely before removing all the extra stomach contents from her mouth and teeth and returning.

"Maybe you should take it easy today," Erol said, putting an arm around her.

"Yeah." She crawled over him to the other side and laid back down. "That sounds good. It's probably just a bug."

"Probably," Erol sighed, "I should probably get up, unless you want me to stay."

"Not unless you want to – I'll most likely be sleeping. Can you do me a favour though?"

"Sure, what?"  
"There's a shipment coming in at the docks and they need someone there to watch and sign the necessary papers. I meant to go but can you do it for me?"

"Yeah, I can do that." He got up and proceeded to get dressed. "I'll come back to check on you in a while. See you sweetheart."

"Have fun." She closed her eyes, curled up under the blankets and fell back asleep.

--

Jance sat in the back corner of the coffee shop. No one really paid attention to him. It was kind of nice…

Kyra walked into her favorite coffee shop, about nearly ready to fall over dead. She had had two classes already and only two hours break before the next one. And one of those morning classes _had_ to be statistics. She hated statistics.

"Mornin' Kyra," the barista greeted. The young woman was a frequent visitor and every employee knew her name.

"Morning. Can I have my usual?"

"Course – I've already made it for you."

Jance glanced up as the woman entered. He'd taken to watching people, it actually helped get back into the rhythm of society. He calmly sipped his drink before shaking his shag of hair out of his eyes.

"Thanks," Kyra said, taking the drink and stuck the money on the counter. She scanned the room, pleasantly surprised to see a new face. Sitting in her seat, though that wasn't so nice. With a sigh, she headed to the seat behind where the new man was sitting. He'd get the point eventually.

The woman seemed slightly irritated, though Jance had no idea why. The fact that she had chosen to sit near him was a little odd though…

She sipped her drink, then opened her bag and took out her journal. While she was looking, she accidentally moved her chair back and hit the chair of the person behind her. "Oh god," she said when she felt the chair's shift, "I'm sorry!"

Jance shrugged, "Don't sweat it," he said, glancing back at her, "No harm done."

"Oh okay." She tilted her head as she looked at him, trying to get a sense of him. "I haven't seen you here before."

He felt suddenly self conscious and pulled the sleeves of his shirt down to hide his scars. He managed a grin, "I haven't come in her before."

"My name's Kyra. What's yours?"

"Jance."

"Nice to meet you. Is there a particular reason you have hearts on your face?"

"Umm…" he raised a hand to brush his hair over them, "Not really, no."

"Oh, that sucks. They're cool." They were, quite interesting indeed.

"You think so?"  
"Yeah," she shrugged, "Why not? How many of them do you have?"

"The hearts? I honestly don't know," he suddenly pulled his hair away from them again, "You can count if you want."

And she did. "About twelve, since some are only half there. How'd you get them?"

He paused, how was he supposed to explain? He pulled out a guitar pick and flipped it over his fingers a couple times before answering, "A friend of mine put them there."

"Whoever it is, they're good." Kyra noticed the pick, "You play the guitar?"

"Yeah."

"That's sweet." She smiled at him. "Anyway, nice meeting you. I've got to get back to work before next class."

He nodded, "It was nice meeting you too, Kyra."

She turned away, going back to her journal writing. _I met the most interesting person today_, she wrote, _His name's Jance. Where have I heard that name before?_

"You keep a journal?" He'd turned away and looked back, curious at what she was doing.

"Yeah. It helps me think, figure everything out. Do you keep one?"

He shook his head, "No, I used to have one." Back before he'd been imprisoned.

"Why'd you stop keeping one?"

Jance shrugged, "I lost it and just never got another one."

"I can't imagine life without one. I think the best thing is how it helps you work through trauma. It's easier when it's down on paper."

He chewed his lip, what she said was true, it had helped when his mother had died…he flipped the pick over his fingers again. His guitar was his help now.

"Am I being a bother again? Honestly?"

"No. Not at all."

"That's good, I'd hate that. You seem too nice to annoy."

He grinned, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." The words in her journal were true, where had she heard of him?

He cocked his head to the side, she seemed…perplexed.

If he got pissed, he got pissed. "I've heard your name before…it's bugging me…"

"Oh, you read the World Monitor?"

"Only by force. I don't like tabloids but sometimes… Oh _that's _where I've heard of you. You're Erol's older brother. That's pretty crazy."

"It really is."

Honestly she didn't care who he was related to. "Okay, mystery solved."

He was unsure what to say to that, so he went back to his drink for a moment.

Kyra checked her watch, "Well, I've got to go and get ready for my next class." She put her journal back in her bag, then slung said bag over her shoulder. "See you later?"

"Sure, just give me a place and time."

"Tomorrow around one?" She got out of her chair.

He nodded, "See you then."

"See ya!" She grinned at him, then was gone.

--

When Erol got home after taking care of the business at the docks, he was surprised to find his wife up and about. "Hey sweetheart." He said, "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," she smiled at him, "By about eleven I was feeling fine. How did the shipping go?"

"Fine."

"That's good. No one tried to steal anything?"

"No. Everything went smoothly."

"Excellent. You're amazing for doing that for me."

He blinked, "Anytime." That wasn't a normal reaction…

"Sorry, I've been in a weird mood recently."

"Have you?"

"Yep. Don't know why…"

"Hmm…"

"What?"

"It's just odd, that's all."

"Okay. Hey, have you seen Jance?"  
"No, I haven't. Why?'

"He missed a counseling appointment with Valen."

"Really? That's not like him."

At that moment Jance walked in the door, humming cheerfully.

"What's up with you?" Kaen asked.

"I don't know. I'm just in a good mood."

"Why?" Her voice was suspicious.

"Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?"

"You rarely are in an overly good mood. What happened?"

"Nothing much."

"_Jance_…"

"What?!"

"What just happened?"  
"I went to a coffee shop."

Her eyes narrowed, "You missed your appointment with Valen…"

"Oops…"

"He's in his office."

"Right, I'll go talk to him…" he headed off to go see the psychologist, still humming.

Valen sat in his office, doing paperwork. Jance hadn't shown up, which was extremely odd. Oh well, it had given him more time to nurse the wounds Cayden had given him. He'd learned the hard way _not_ to be jealous of people who were in love and to _not_ call Kaen an infectious ill-breeding strumpet.

There was a knock on the door, "Come in!"

Jance walked in, "Hey Val, sorry I missed our session today. I _completely _forgot." How he was able to forget something he did on a daily basis was a mystery, "How're you?"

"Pretty good, considering I've recently had the snot beaten out of me. And you?"

"Good." He grinned.

"What's her name?"

"Kyra."

He nodded. "The reason you didn't show up, right?"

"Yeah, sorry. I just..." he shrugged hopelessly.

"Whatever. It's about time that something like this happened. Do you want to sit down?"

"What do you mean by that?" Jance asked as he took the seat across from Valen.

"What do I mean by what?" Valen said, grinning.

"What do you mean by 'It's about time that something like this happened'?"

"I've been waiting for you to have a crush on a girl for a long time."

"Have you?"

"I have. It shows you're getting healthier, feeling more confident in yourself. Unless she's some sort… of well, to use a previously used word, _strumpet_…"

"Valen!"

"What? It was an honest statement."

"What sort of taste do you think I _have_? Jeez..."

"I don't know - you've been through a traumatic time. What's she like?"

"Well, she's talkative, younger than me, though I'm not really sure by how much. She keeps a journal, likes coffee, and doesn't seem the least bit bothered by my scars."

"Hmm… So a pretty interesting character… Do you like her?"

"Yeah, I do."

Valen nodded again. "Anything else you'd like to talk about today?"

"I don't know. What were you originally planning on us talking about?"

"Whatever you wanted - this _is_ your time."

"But you usually have something in mind."

"Not today, though I was wondering what you thought about how everything's turned out so far."

"I think things are turning out pretty well." His fear of men was disappearing, something Jance had never imagined possible and he was starting to feel more like himself than he had for years.

"That's good. Keep doing what you're doing and all should be well."

"I hope so."

"Right, anything else?"

Jance thought about it. "Do you think I'm stable enough?"

"Enough for what?"

"A relationship, if I decided to pursue one."

The psychologist pondered it for a moment. "If you're extremely careful, yes you can. But be warned not to get into a situation where your animal side can take over."

"I think I'm getting better at control now..." He wasn't denying that the threat of it was still there however.

"But practice makes perfect. If you do decide to pursue a relationship with this Kyra girl, be sure to explain to her the dangers. The girl deserves to know."

Jance nodded, "She does."

"Then go for it. Good luck."

"Thanks Val." Jance stood, "Do you want me to come back tomorrow?"

"If you think it's necessary. Do you?"

"I don't know..."

"Well, up to you. I'll see you later."

Jance nodded, "See you." And he walked out of Valen's office, resuming his contented humming.

Valen shook his head and went back to work.

--

After Jance had left Erol looked at Kaen, everything seemed to have been turned upside down. His brother had either cracked or had found something that made him happy, and Kaen...He shook his head knowing he'd probably just end up confusing himself if he thought too hard about any of it.

"What do you think of interesting theories?" she asked, churning over the conversation with Jance in her mind.

"I find them interesting and on occasion headache inducing, why?"

"Your brother…"

"Yeah?"

"I think he's… I think he has a crush on a girl."

"Jance? You think so?"

"Didn't you see him? Oh I am _so_ going to rub this in his face!"

"It would explain it..."

"Wonder what she's like… It's weird; I wouldn't have suspected he'd ever get a girl."

"No, me neither...He's never been interested, and, as far as I've known, girls haven't really been interested in him either."

"Eventually, if all goes well, we'll meet her. What'd you think she's like?"

Erol thought about it, "Not your run-of-the-mill girl for one thing. I don't really know, what do you think she's like?"

"One word: talkative."

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "Cause he likes to talk?"

"Maybe, but by that logic, she could also be quiet, because he doesn't shut up." It would have only been true years ago; Jance had become far more secluded since his years of torture.

"He'll want someone to talk to, not just listen. She'll be a talker."

"Well, we'll see, I'm sure we'll meet her."

"I hope so." She yawned and stretched. "Today has been a weird day."

"It really has."

"Know what time it is?"

He glanced at his watch, "About six."

"I have some work still to finish, so I'm probably going to stay here. Maybe you should go talk to your brother and worm something out of him."

Erol smirked, "I think I will. Do you want me to tell you what I find out?"

"When do I not?"

"No idea. I'll be back in a few minutes." He glanced at his watch again before turning to head off to Jance's room.

Kaen just sighed and turned on her computer to do some banking.


	6. Chapter Five

Alright, here is our ever generic preamble. Kyra, Kaen, Jance, and Valen are ours. Erol is Naughty Dog's. Knives are mine.

And on we go.

* * *

Jance sat in the same coffee shop as the day before, waiting for Kyra. He occupied himself by watching the other customers while flipping a pick over his fingers. He refrained from glancing at the clock.

Kyra eventually stumbled in, half a minute late but that didn't really matter. No one was that obsessive about the time. She scanned the shop for her… was friend pushing it? Well, she scanned the shop for signs of Jance and was surprised when he was actually there. "Hi," she said as she walked up, "You actually showed up."

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

She shrugged. "I'm having trouble reading your character. For all I know, you're going to kill me by poisoning my coffee."

"I wouldn't do that!"

She grinned, then sat down across from him. "Like I said, I don't have a read on your character yet. But that's alright; it gives me something to think about."

"I can be tricky to get a read on." He grinned, and, assuming that they'd be staying in the coffee shop, unzipped his jacket and put it on the back of his chair, exposing his scarred arms.

She stared. "How many scars do you have?"

"A lot."

"I know this is going to sound childish, but can I see?"

He shrugged, "Sure, though, I don't think I'll show you my chest ones at the moment," he grinned at her, "It's indecent."

"Yeah, that sounds like a pretty smart idea."

He held out his right arm to her, "Go ahead, look."

Kyra leaned in closer to it, inspecting the scars. They were odd, games of hangman and tic-tac-toe. Whoever he kept playing against seemed to have a fairly strange sense of humor. "Do they bug you?" she finally asked, tearing her eyes away from his arm. "You always seem to be hiding them."

"Bug me? No. Bug the general public? Yes. I don't appreciate the stares I get."

"Oh. I guess they don't appreciate good art."

Jance laughed, "That's a good one. I don't think anyone's ever called me 'art' before."

"It is! Not your usual brand, but it is. It's inventive."

"It's also painful to get done."

"Who did this to you?"

"There's a few people...One was the same person who put the hearts in, Kaen. She did the games too. And a random smattering of men did all of the really recent ones, well, except the bites." It was strange how easily he told her, "You can see which ones are recent cause they're darker, see?" He pointed out his newer verses older scars, using the 'Y' shaped one on his cheek as his older reference.

"That's horrible!" _she_ was offended by that.

"Well...they were sick bastards. Pardon the language."

"Whatever. Everyone's said worse, though that's not really a standard I suppose. How'd you survive?"

"Sheer force of will."

"Wow. That's impressive."

He smirked.

She rolled her eyes.

"I was trying to die by the end of it."

"I can sorta get that."

"Can you?"

"Sort of, in a twisted version. I mean, I've never been thrown in jail or anything. At least, not for an extended period of time."

"What'd you do?"

"Oh, this and that. I had a bad spell from about fourteen to eighteen. Not a pretty sight. Stealing, dealing… You know, dumb stuff."

"I get that, I mean, I was never involved in it, but I grew up in an environment with the drug trade."

"Slummer?"

"And damn proud of it."

She nodded. "I approve."

He took a small mock bow.

"Question?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I bugging you with my questions?"

"Nope, not at all."

"Okay, that's good. I'll be right back." She got up. "I've recently realized I'm without a coffee."

He grinned, "Nice one."

She grinned right back, then turned and went to order her coffee.

He watched her, waiting patiently for her to return. He should probably mention his mental instability, even if they were just friends; she still had a right to know.

The coffee was already ready and waiting, so all Kyra had to do was pick it up, throw down the money and return. "Back," she announced as she sat back down. "If you hadn't already guessed."

"I had." He could smell her drink, "That smells good, what is it?"

"Erm… A white chocolate mocha?"

"Hmm. Never heard of it."

"Coffee, chocolate, warm. All good."

"Sounds good."

"You want something? I forgot to ask."

He contemplated, "I think I'm good, but...Think I could try what you have?"

She passed him the cup. "Go for it."

He took a sip, made an odd purring sound, and passed it back.

"Like it?"

"It's good."

"Very nice." She took a sip herself. "You're fun to talk to."

"You're pretty good company yourself."

She smiled. "Thank you. I irritate most people."

"I don't see how it's possible."

"I talk too much; it's a really bad habit."

"It's fine. I like it."

Her smile widened.

He smiled back at her, but it faded slightly with his next words, "Kyra, if I tell you something about me, can you try not to freak out?"

"I'm pretty sure I can."

"I'm not a stable person. I have a semi-split personality and it's very animalistic," he said it quickly and quietly, but it was still clear enough to be heard, "And I like raw steak."

Kyra sat there for a moment, processing. Split personality? Okay, cool enough. Animalistic? Weird, but it could be avoided. Raw steak? Epic.

"Just thought I'd give you a heads up on that."

"Okay. Not to make light, but that last part's pretty epic."

"It grosses out my psychologist."

"Well, that's your psychologist. It's what you like to eat, that's no big deal."

Jance shrugged, "I just sort of tacked that on, it's the first two things I was actually trying to warn you about."

"Alright, well I'm warned. You're still cool."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. If you want to know the truth, you're a very likeable person."

He grinned; he seemed unable to help it. "Thanks, so are you."

"Haven't we gone over this?"

"Yeah probably."

She laughed. "A conversation that goes in circles."

"So it would seem."

"So a lot would seem." She sipped her drink. "I have to leave soon."

"Do you? Why?"

"I have class."

He blinked, "How old _are _you?"

"Twenty seven. I'm studying for my PhD in journalism."

"Nice. You know, my psychologist does some journalism on the side..."

"Does he? Who does he write for?"

"He does. I doubt you'd be interested cause you said yesterday that you don't like tabloids, but he could probably give you some pointers. He owns the World Monitor."

"Oh bloody… Your shrink is _Valen_?"

"Yeah. Best one in Haven."

"He taught me a class once. Tell you the truth, he was a bit odd. What's he like as a shrink?"

"He's still a bit odd, but he's good at getting information out of people, no matter how tight lipped they can be. He's probably the only reason I can act like a semi-normal person now. He's good. And he's one of the few guys I'll let within arms reach."

"Do you mind telling me what happened?"

Jance chewed his lip, hesitating, he didn't want to say it but at the same time, he thought that Kyra should know. "I was raped..." his voice was dead quiet.

Kyra felt her heart swell to bursting point. "Oh god… I'm so sorry…" That was one thing she _couldn't_ imagine. If they had been better friends - and it hadn't been such an awkward topic - she would've hugged him.

"It's not your fault..." he shrugged. Why had he just told some girl he barely knew that? Why?

"I know. That'd be creepy."

"It was horrid…" he felt on the verge of tears, discussing this topic always got to him. His wrist went instinctively to his mouth, but he caught himself before actually biting, "But it's over now." Like it honestly mattered, he still woke up every night in a cold sweat because of it. He shuddered and stared at his hands.

"Not completely," she said. "You're not completely over it. Do you still have nightmares?"

He nodded slowly.

"That sucks. But those do eventually go away. Trust me."

"I know they do…"

"Why the trail off?"

"This isn't something I particularly like talking about."

"Erm…God, I'm doing it again. Tell me to shut up next time."

"No, that's rude."

"So? Life's rude."

"This is true."

"The truth is a good thing."

"Didn't you have to go to class?"

Kyra blinked, checked her watch, then blinked again, "I _did_. Before it was more than half over…"

Now it was Jance's turn to blink. "How long have we _been_ here?"

"Around an hour and a half. Ish. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"You bored by me yet?"

He shook his head, "Quite the opposite."

"That's good." She smiled. "This's been fun."

"It has. We should do it again."

"That sounds like fun."

"So what now?"

"Well, either we part ways or we do something else…"

"I like the sound of that second option."

"What should we do?"

"I don't know, what do you feel like doing?"

"Let's go for a walk!"

"Sure." He said, getting his jacket off the back of the chair.

She hopped out of her seat. "Do you mind if we head over to the university? I need to talk to my professor."

He nodded, "Alright, sounds good."

"Then let's go."

He grinned and stood, doing up his jacket, and had the sudden desired to take her hand in his.

"Won't you be hot in that jacket?"

"Yeah, but it's not too bad."

"Okay, you're crazy though." Kyra briefly wondered if he would try to hold her hand. No, that was too much. And why was she thinking like this?! She'd known him for two days!

It was very tempting to try, but…he hadn't even known her for forty-eight hours. Still…he reached out and brushed his scarred fingers against her hand deciding to let her choose.

She took his hand happily. "It's not too far. You ever been there before?"

"No, I actually haven't."

"Well, fun new experience." She laughed, headed for the door, not letting go of his hand.

He was glad that she didn't. He grinned at her, "Definitely."

--

The university wasn't far away, only about fifteen minutes, but it took another ten to get to the building where her classes were held. The inside temperature was refreshing after trekking through the heat. "Do you mind waiting outside while I go talk to my prof?" Kyra asked once they arrived outside her 'prof's' door.

"No," he let go of her hand somewhat reluctantly, "I can wait here; I've got nothing against that."

"I'll just be a minute." She stood there for a moment, putting on a serious face – a difficult feat – then walked into the room without knocking.

Jance waited patiently for her, slipping off his jacket as he did. It _was _too hot.

Kyra reemerged about five minutes later. "My professor is _such_ a snot," she sighed as she rejoined him. "And you're not wearing your jacket."

"No, I'm not. What'd he say?"

"That I'm a failure of a student and am letting my social life interrupt my studies." She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry."

"Thank you," she grinned, "I'd rather spend time with you than be in his class."

"Really?"

"Really. Why not? You're an amazing guy."

He blinked; no one had ever called him that.

"Did I just offend?"

"Not at all."

"Okay. Well, you are an amazing guy. What do you want to do next?"

He shrugged.

"Then how about we got to the park?"

"Sure." He took her hand again.

She squeezed his. "Right. This way."

--

Kaen glanced up at the clock in her office. "He's been gone for four hours! Where is he? Jance is never out of the house this long!"

"I have no idea. What could he be _doing_?" Erol said; things were getting considerably stranger. Kaen had been sick again that morning.

"He could be out with his girlfriend again."

"He could be, I suppose…"

"Shall we go see?"

"How do you plan on that?"

"Go to the front door – he just came inside."

"Did he?"

"Yes. Let's go."

Jance had indeed just walked in, again humming cheerfully.

Kaen saw him come inside. "Hey Jance!"

"Hey!"

"You seem happy today."

"Am I not allowed to be?"

"What's her name?"

"Kyra."

"She pretty?"

"Very." Jance sighed.

Behind his wife, Erol rolled his eyes. Hopeless…

"And, because I want to prove a point, she likes to talk, correct?"

"Yes, she does actually." Jance said, giving Kaen a suspicious glance.

"Alright, fine you win. She likes to talk." Erol said, looking at Kaen.

"When will you learn not to bet against me?" Kaen smiled, pleased to have won again.

"What else have we bet on?"

Jance took this opportunity to roll his eyes at them and attempt to slip away.

"I don't know, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't learn."

Erol sighed, "You know, I bet that whatever's made you throw up these past two days is actually a lot bigger than you're trying to say it is…" He wanted to beat her, just once.

"I'm beginning to think I've been poisoned. What's _your_ theory?"

"You don't want to know." He _hoped_ he was wrong. It was too soon.

"Just spit it out!"

"You'll kill me if I tell you."

"I'll kill you if you don't. Either way you're dead."

"Oh…damn."

"Tell me Erol!"

"No."

She turned to face him, half smiling, half frowning. "It can't be _that _bad."

"I think it can be." If he was right it would start to become apparent…

"Fine." She turned on her heel and walked away.

It _couldn't_ last…


	7. Chapter Six

Alright. Even though by now it's obvious who's mine and who's not... Kaen, Kyra, Jance, Valen and Cayden belong to us. Knives are mine. Erol belongs to Naughty Dog.

On with the show.

* * *

Two months ticked by, slowly but surely. These months were rare months for all, one of the fairly implausible times where people were genuinely happy. Kaen was happy enough to be sure, since her morning sickness has all but disappeared. Some mornings she'd just lay in bed, feeling quite pleased with herself for not being nauseous.

That morning was one of those mornings.

Erol sat up and looked at her, "So, how're you feeling?"

"Excellent." Kaen tried to sit up, but failed. It was cold in the room.

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her.

"The room is an icebox."

"No it's not."

"Okay, the room to any normal person is an icebox."

"Fine, fair enough."

"Can you turn up the heat?"

He sighed, "Fine," he got up and adjusted the thermostat.

"Thank you. You're an angel."

"You're welcome," he said, coming back and sitting on the bed.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love the summer?"

"No, I don't believe so."

"Well, I adore summer. It's warm and nice."

He leaned over and kissed her, "It is."

She grinned. "That made it even better."

"I'm glad," he kissed her again, "I don't know about you, but I'm probably going to get up in a few minutes."

"I'm getting up now." Kaen stretched, then got off the bed. "Again, thanks for turning up the thermostat."

"Anytime."

She rolled her eyes, then went to the closet to pick out her clothes for the day. All normal – until she saw herself in the mirror. Her usually slightly concave stomach was now, to use similar terms, slightly convex. There was a visible bump protruding from her stomach.

Erol had noticed the change in her physique a few days earlier, there was next to no doubt in his mind anymore as to what was causing this.

Kaen stared at her belly. Where had it come from? She shook her head, it wasn't possible. "Do you think I've gained weight?" she asked Erol.

He looked at her, weighing his options, "Maybe a little." It was an understatement, she _had_.

"Dammit," she snarled, then proceeded to lock herself in the closet.

--

Kyra stood by the front doors of the manor. Even after two months of dating, she'd never been to her own boyfriend's house. Tentatively she knocked on the door, hoping Jance wouldn't mind her intrusion.

The door was opened by the butler. "May I help you?"

"Erm…I want to see Jance…'kay?" Kyra could feel herself blush.

The man gave her a weird look. "One moment. I'll be right back." He let her in, then walked away.

She surveyed the room. It was beautiful, sort of like it was from a fairytale. Quite epic really.

Erol came down into the entranceway and saw her; he blinked, raised an eyebrow and walked over, "Um…Hello…" Who the hell was _she_?

"Oh, hello." She smiled.

"Uh…who are you?" he tried to keep his tone polite.

"My name's Kyra. Who're you?"

"Oh _you're _Kyra! I'm Erol. Jance doesn't shut up about you."

Her face went a dark shade of red. "That normal – I don't shut up about him. Do you know where he is?"

"Yeah, he's in his room, come on, I'll take you up."

Her smile widened. "Thanks. I hope I'm not intruding."

"Don't worry about it. Jance didn't mention anything about you coming here, does he know about this?"

"Nope. I was just bored and I missed him."

Erol nodded as he led her down the hall to Jance's room. He stopped abruptly.

"What?" she asked. The house was complicated; she'd need Jance to lead her back.

"Shh…" he raised a hand, "Do you hear that?"

Kyra listened, straining to hear a sound. There, coming out of what she assumed to be Jance's room, someone was playing guitar and singing, "Is that Jance?"  
Erol smirked, "It is."

"It's beautiful. I didn't know he could sing!"

"He'd prefer if no one knew. He's good though." Erol motioned for her to follow him, "He'll stop if he hears us."

She followed him, enjoying the sound of the music. Beautiful.

Erol stopped outside the door. "He's in there," he whispered.

"Thank you." But Kyra didn't go in, she wouldn't until he finished.

"He'll show you the way out. And just a heads up, my wife is probably going to want to meet you." Erol said quietly before heading off to go find said wife.

Kyra smiled and nodded, then went back to enjoying the music. After a moment or two, the song was done and she felt like she could knock. So she did.

"Come in." Jance said, looking up at the door from where he sat on the floor, hoping whoever it was hadn't heard him.

She opened it wide enough to poke her head in. "You didn't tell me you could sing."

He went bright red, "Just never came up I guess," he laughed nervously. Well _that_ was awkward.

"It's pretty. Can I come in?"

"Sure."

She smiled at him, then opened the door a little bit wider and slid in. "Anyway. Hi. I hope I'm not intruding."

He grinned, setting his guitar aside, "You're not, it's nice to see you."

"Okay. I was afraid I'd be a bother." She walked over to him. "You have a nice house."

"It's my sister-in-law's but I'll be sure to pass on the compliment."

"Apparently she might attack me before I leave. Whatever. But pass it on if you want."

Jance shrugged, "She just wants to meet you. Both her and Erol have made it clear. He'll want to see you too."

"He took me up here. He seems pretty nice, a trait that seems to run in the family."

He laughed, "You're sweet."

"So are you."

"Thanks."

"You're very welcome."

"You can sit down if you'd like," he gestured around the room, "Wherever suits you."

She sat on the floor.

He grinned at her, "Nice choice."

"It works. Rather sit here than anywhere else."

"Me too." He picked up his guitar again, but it was only to put it away.

"You love that guitar, don't you?"

"Yep."

"You really are an odd one." She smiled at him.

He cocked his head at her. "How so?"

"I don't know. You're not like most people I know. And that's a good thing."

He grinned and shifted closer to her.

She closed the tiny space between them, curling up _slightly_ against him.

He slipped an arm around her shoulders and rubbed his nose against her cheek.

"You're being sweet again."

"I'm being me."

"And you're really sweet."

"So are you."

"Thank you." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

He sighed, resting his cheek against her head.

"Something wrong?"

"Not at all."

"So that was more a sigh of contentment?"

"Yep."

"Those are nice types of sighs."

"They are," he agreed, kissing the top of her head.

She laughed quietly, "We're weird."

"But weird's good."

"Indeed. Birds of a feather and all that."

He nuzzled her hair. He couldn't imagine life without her.

Kyra really hoped she never dated anyone else – none of them would ever compare to Jance.

"I love you."

She blinked then grinned, "I love you too."

He shifted, tightening his arm around her. How had he ever gotten along without her?

There was a knock on the door.

Jance glanced up. "Come in."

Valen poked his head into the room. "I came to see and to extend and invitation."

He raised an eyebrow at the psychologist, encouraging him to continue.

"Well can you blame me for wanting to see Kyra?" he sighed, "And it's time for lunch."

Jance looked at his girlfriend, "Want lunch?"

"I'd love lunch. Though I probably don't need it." She finally addressed the oogling Valen, "Hello Professor. Please stop staring – I'm not a zoo exhibit."

Jance grinned, "C'mon Val, there's nothing weird to stare at," he stood offering Kyra a hand up.

She took it, glad for help. Not that she actually needed it.

"Well sor-ee!" Valen said with a grin, "Now, I'll see you both downstairs." He left.

Jance gave her hand a squeeze, "Come on, I'll take you down."

"Thanks. It's confusing."

"I know, Erol still has trouble navigating sometimes."

"That makes me feel better."

He grinned, "I don't know if Kaen's caught on to it yet."

"She seems like an interesting person."

"She is. You'll probably meet her in a few minutes."

"That's good. See who gave you those scars."

He grinned again and led her down to the dining room.

Kaen glanced over the menu with interest, "What to eat…" she muttered, "Pheasant, lamb, steak, chicken, seafood…" She just couldn't decide.

"Hey Kaen."

The crime lady didn't look up. "Hello Jance," she said, "And Kyra, I assume."

Jance passed Kyra a menu, "Here."

"Thanks. This is weirdly fancy…"

Kaen finally looked at her. Jance had been right – Kyra _was_ very pretty. "You get used to it."

"I hope so."

Jance pulled back a chair and motioned for Kyra to sit down.

She did, smiling at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, taking the chair next to her.

Kaen rolled her eyes and went back to searching.

Kyra stared at the list of food. "My god… This is insane!"

Jance shrugged, he already knew what he'd have.

A waiter walked in. "Your orders?"

His employer sighed, "Shrimp penne."

Kyra bit her lip, "Lamb sandwich?"

Jance smirked, "Steak. Raw."

The waiter made a face. "Very well sir. Would you like that defrosted?"

"Yes please." Jance resisted the urge to roll his eyes; he thought they would've been used to him by now.

The man nodded again, then turned and left the room to fetch their food.

"Hey," Jance looked around, "Where's Val? And Erol?"

"Valen is going to be here in a moment - something came up with the Monitor. As for Erol, I have _no_ idea where he is." Kaen sighed, obviously slightly annoyed.

Jance nodded before turning to his girlfriend, "So what do you think?"

"It's so…unreal. Like something someone wrote in a book."

"It takes some getting used to, that's for sure."

"I'm having trouble believing I'm here. I keep thinking I'll wake up any second and be back in the coffee shop."

"Have you ever fallen asleep in that coffee shop?"

"Yes, I have actually."

"Really? Wow...I didn't ever think you had. Well, I can assure you, this is real."

"That's good. Things this happy don't usually happen to people like me."

He gave her an unbelieving expression.

"What's that look mean?"

He shrugged.

She shrugged right back.

He grinned and kissed her cheek.

She smiled, "You're silly sometimes."

"I know."

A door opened and the waiter strode out, carrying two steaming plates of food and a slab of meat on a platter. He came over to the table and set down the food in front of the appropriate person. "Enjoy your meals," he said before gliding back into the kitchen.

Jance grinned and immediately began to gnaw on his steak.

Kaen just sighed and shook her head, then decided to just let it go and began to eat.

Kyra poked her food, pinched herself, then began to eat.

About halfway through the meal Erol finally showed up, he was in an old t-shirt and there was a long black streak of grease on his face. "Hey," he said as he sat down next to his wife.

In a second there was a napkin in his wife's hand. "Hey." She started wiping away at the grease stain on his face.

"Hey! Quit it!"

She scrubbed only harder at the stubborn stain. "No. I'm not going to have you sit here looking like you've crawled out of a garage."

He rolled his eyes, and attempted to pull away, "But I just _did_."

"I _know_." She held him still. "Don't move - I'm almost done."

Erol sighed, feeling rather like a little kid, "Honestly..."

Finally the stain came off completely. "There," she said, letting him go, "You're free."

"Thank you."

Kyra, across the table, snickered into her hand.

"It's not funny."

"Yes it is." Jance said, grinning like an idiot. It was always funny to see Erol get his face forcefully cleaned.

"Stop being a baby Erol," Kaen said, rolling her eyes. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "There? All better."

Erol sighed again, but couldn't help a smile at his wife. He glanced at her plate, "Is that _shrimp_?"

"Yes, indeed it is."

Erol immediately looked at his brother, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm fine as long as she keeps it on that side of the table. I'm not _that_ bad." Jance shook his head, sometimes...

"I didn't know you were allergic to seafood," Kyra said, looking concerned. "Are you deathly allergic?"

Jance looked at her, "Yeah, I'm pretty bad..."

"That sucks. Isn't there something to help with that?"

"No, not really."

"I feel bad for you."

Jance shrugged, "Don't. It's nothing big."

Erol stared at him, "Nothing big? I remember when we learned about your allergy!"

"What happened?" Kaen asked, extremely interested.

"Nothing much."

"You nearly _died_! You were in the hospital for a week!"

"Two." Jance corrected.

Kaen grinned evilly and chucked a shrimp to his side of the table.

Jance picked up his unused fork and flicked it away.

"I was hoping it'd touch your food…"

"Come on, you don't try to spike Valen's drinks with alcohol or anything..."

"Valen's _different_. You're a fun person to hurt - and you'll even have someone to sit dutifully at your bedside."

Jance gave her a highly unamused look.

"What?!"

He rolled his eyes and decided to finish his steak before Kaen decided to try again with the shrimp.

Kyra watched the other woman wonderingly - this was who ran Haven City? It didn't seem to match up. She'd expected someone uptight and proper, sort of like a goddess. Instead Kaen seemed to be a very normal person with the same quirks and faults as everyone else. It was quite unnerving.

Jance barely noticed his girlfriend's reaction to the crime lady; he sat there, licking the blood off his hands with a strangely content look.

"So, Kyra," Erol began, "What do you do when you're not hanging around my brother?"

"Me? Erm… Job search, write, hang out with my friends… Stuff like that. Artsy crap."

"What do you write?"

"Umm Stories, poems, essays and, of course, news articles."

Erol nodded, "Nice."

"Not that exciting. Hence why I spend most of my time with your brother."

"I see."

"Yeah…"

Erol nodded again, now unsure what to say to keep the conversation going.

The main door burst open at that point, revealing Valen and Cayden. Both men were arguing loudly with large hand gestures, but Valen looked much more smug than Cayden did.

Erol turned and looked at both of them, what in the world...?

"I do _not_ owe you one grand!" Cayden snapped, sitting down heavily beside Kaen. "Not in your life!"

"I _told_ you that Jance'd have a girl by the end of the month. You owe me one grand!"

"NO I DO NOT!"

"Yes you do!"

"Shut up!" Kaen snapped. "Cayden, just pay up!"

"MAKE ME!"

The crime lady blinked. Since when did Cayden talk back to her?

Erol fixed Cayden with a very pointed look. That was _not_ normal behavior for the bodyguard.

Jance sighed and whispered to Kyra, "Somehow those two feel the need to 'spice things up' by betting on random things. In this case, I guess my social life."

"That's weird. And is that guy on steroids or something?" she pointed at Cayden. "He's scaring me."

"No, that's just Cayden, his line's been bred for that," Jance said, slipping his hand over hers reassuringly.

"Oh, okay. It's just… He's like a mountain!"

"I know."

"Is he violent?"

"Sometimes."

"To people like me?"

"Doubtful."

"That's comforting." But she still shifted towards Jance, not trusting something that huge.

He slipped his arm around her, "I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you." He meant it too; he'd die before he let anyone hurt Kyra.

"Thanks." She believed him wholeheartedly. Jance would never let anyone hurt her.

He nuzzled her hair gently, he would've kissed her, but wasn't sure how well she'd take his meat breath.

"Wow," said Valen, "You two are as bad as Erol and Kaen."

"Oh, you're done arguing?" Jance asked, turning to look at his psychologist.

"Yeah, we're done. Right?"

"Right," Cayden muttered.

"So, apart from the two of you taking a financial interest in my personal life, what's new?"

"Nothing much. Monitor's going well, so everything's fine." He gave Kyra a weird look, "You know, that job offer is still open…"

"No. No. No, no, no. I'm _not_ working for a tabloid."

"Fine, fine, just asking."

"You know you _would_ get a lot of useful experience working for him." Jance said.

"Is this actually about my future job life or the fact I'll be here everyday?"

"A little of both."

"Oh. Sorry Jance, I won't lower myself to writing 'How To' articles."

"Your choice." He shrugged nonchalantly.

She rolled her eyes.

He grinned at her.

"I swear, if you keep being this sweet to me, I'll get a cavity."

"I'll pay the dentist bill."

"Alright then. You can continue then."

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You smell like raw meat."

"Sorry..."

"It's epic."

He blew playfully at her.

She grinned, "Only you Jance, only you."

"Yes, only me."

"Which is good, if there were two of you I'd be very confused."

"So would I. Besides, I wouldn't like being copied."

"I have to say, I agree. How would one do that I wonder…"

"It would be hard to do. No one would want to." He nuzzled her hair again.

Kyra tilted her head up slightly and kissed him. "Point."

He kissed her back, a fleeting gesture; he still wasn't used to it. His animal side flared up every time their lips met.

"Ick." Cayden made a face. "Beauty and the Beast."

Jance shot him a very pointed look, "Hey kid, I don't call you demeaning names."

"I'm not a kid! Plus, you and I both know it's true."

"This is true. Kid..." He couldn't resist, he hadn't forgotten Cayden calling him a kid the day he'd been released.

"I'M NOT A KID!"

Kaen got up. "Know what? I'm out. And I apologize Kyra, for the behavior of my advisors."

"It's okay…" the other woman said weakly.

The crime lady nodded, then swept out of the room, highly offended.

Erol got up, "Well, it was nice chatting to you; I should probably go put my racer back together before I lose track of everything," He gave a quick nod to everyone, "See you later."

Cayden stood up and headed for the kitchen. "I'm still hungry," he muttered.

Valen sighed and followed him. He _did_ still owe him one grand.

"So," Jance said, "What should we do now?"

"I dunno. What'd you want to do?"

He shrugged.

"C'mon, I'm sure you can figure something out."

"I'm a highly indecisive person, you know this."

"I know, but that's okay I suppose. Well, here's some ideas… We could go for a walk… You could show me around We could part ways, though I'm not sure I like that option…"

"I know I don't. I think I can show you around...a bit."

"Okay." Kyra stood up, grinning in excitement. "That sounds good to me."

"C'mon," Jance took her hand as he stood, "Let's see how far along a tour we can get."

"Okay. This is absolutely amazing… I'd love to live somewhere like here…"

"It's pretty neat." Maybe one day...He grinned at her and led her out of the dining room.


	8. Chapter Seven

Ah, the pains of these formalities... Erol is Naughty Dog's. Jance, Kyra, Kaen, Valen, Cayden, and any unnamed but otherwise used characters belong to us. Knives are mine.

On with the show.

* * *

Jance could never remember being happier in his life. He was sure that there must've been some point in his life, but he couldn't recall. The three months he'd known Kyra were the best he'd had in years.

Kyra had to agree wholeheartedly. Each day seemed happier, brighter, more full of meaning. If she'd had her way, she would have spent every spare hour with him.

Jance took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill his lungs. He'd stopped wearing his jacket the previous month deciding to sacrifice his skin for comfort. Outside still seemed to be a strange treat for him, after seven years of captivity...He looked at Kyra and grinned.

"What's that grin for? The weather again?"

"Yeah, it's nice out. I like it." Even if he _had_ been burned by the sun a few days previously.

"I do too. It's gorgeous."

"I can think of something else that's gorgeous."

"Can you? So can I."

"What are you thinking of?" he asked.

"You say first."

"You. You're gorgeous."

She smiled and blushed. "And I was thinking of you…"

He laughed, and slipped and arm around her, "I've said it hundreds of times: you're sweet."

"And I've said it a thousand times; you're going to give me a cavity."

"I haven't yet."

"No, not just yet, but you have a long time to work on it."

"I know I do." He leaned down and kissed her.

She kissed him back, feeling quite pleased with her life.

He pulled her close to him.

She kissed him again, rather surprised by his willingness. Usually he wasn't very into touch, mostly as a precaution against his other side. But who was she to complain?

He had a tight rein on his animal half, nothing would happen. He kissed her again, "I love you."

"I love you too." She brushed her lips against his neck.

He felt his control slip, just for a second, just a second, then he had it back. His lips pressed to hers gently.

It was so unreal, like she was currently living in someone else's life. She kissed him again.

Quickly, almost tentatively, he pressed his lips to her neck.

Her breath caught. He really _was_ stretching himself.

He wanted this so badly. Wanted to be normal, to be able to go about this in a normal way; it was harder than he'd been expecting. His animal side had flared the moment he'd come into contact with her neck, but he refused to let it have control. If he did… There was no telling what could happen.

It seemed like he was half hesitating. "Something wrong?" Kyra asked.

"No," he rubbed his nose against her cheek, deciding to tone it down anyway, it was too dangerous.

"Okay," she didn't totally believe him, but let the topic go.

He kissed her forehead and let her go somewhat reluctantly.

She grinned at him. "That was interesting."

"Wasn't it?"

"Indeed it was. What shall we do now?"

"No clue."

"That sucks. Well, we'll figure it out eventually."

"We always do."

"Yep."

"How about we just wander around for a while?" They seemed to do it an awful lot.

"Sure, I'm good with that."

--

Erol slipped an arm around his wife's shoulders, "What're you up to sweetheart?"

"Finishing cleaning up my office. Then I'm planning on going to the conservatory to find some fruit. Why? What are _you_ up to?"

"Finding out what you're up to."

She rolled her eyes.

"Want a hand?"

"For this?" she shut a drawer. "Nope, cause I'm now done. For fruit searching? Sure."

He smiled - not smirked – smiled, and kissed her cheek.

"Was that a smile?"

"Yes actually."

"I haven't seen you simply smile for a long time."

"Probably cause I haven't."

"You have a nice smile."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. To the conservatory then?"

"Of course."

Kaen shifted one more stack of papers, then headed for the door.

Erol followed her, "So how're you feeling?"

"I've been feeling okay. I seem only to get sick when I eat eggs."

"That's good." He said, his eyes flickered down to the bulge on her abdomen for a moment. It was slowly getting more noticeable.

"What are you looking at?"

"Just you."

"Oh, okay." She rested her hand on her stomach. A theory had come to mind, but she refused to believe it. Not her, not yet.

He noticed the movement. He had no doubt anymore, well next to no doubt, there'd always be some until it was officially confirmed. Aaric would be pleased about this…

They reached the conservatory. It was a room her forefathers, meaning Aaric, had build an age ago, their attempt to preserve a beautiful environment that would be lost. It was like walking into a forest, mostly subtropical, and it was Kaen's favourite place to go when she needed to relax. Like a second cell, except this one had fruit, plants and ponds full of fish.

"Alright, we're here," Kaen said as she placed her hand on a palm lock. It was keyed only to fit her family's hands, small and delicate. The lock clicked and the door swung open. "Fruit time."

Erol glared at the palm lock.

"What? Has the lock offended you?" she asked, amused.

"No…" he continued to glare.

"What then?"

"Call me stupid but I don't like it."

"Okay stupid. Why don't you like it?"

He rolled his eyes, "You could lock yourself in there with that thing." And he wouldn't be able to get her out. It annoyed him.

"One of these days I'll get it fixed, don't worry." She went inside and was hit by a rush of hot, humid air. "Are you coming?"

Naturally, he was. He followed her in, repressing a shudder. Damn heat.

"Oh, it's not that hot." Kaen started down one of the paths in search of mangos. She loved chocolate covered mangos.

Erol pulled a face. He preferred things cool.

"Just cause _you_ live in a permanent ice cube…"

"And you'd live in the furnace if you could…"

"I've actually been enjoying a slightly cooler temperature recently!"

"I know, but _normally_…" when she wasn't- he cut off the thought. He was _definitely_ not ready.

"Normally? It's totally normal!" She found some of her delectable fruits. "What are you not saying?"

"Nothing."

"Erol, just tell me!"

"Look…I…no…"

"_Erol_!"

He sighed, if he verbalized the concept would become altogether too real, and it was bad enough in his mind. "Forget I said anything."

"Fine," she glared at him, "Be that way."

"I'm just worried about you."

"I swear, you don't need to be. I'm totally fine." But she couldn't help but think on the weird things her body kept doing.

His eyes flicked to the bulge again, "Fine. If you're sure." He said, turning to look very pointedly at a fruit tree. "What kind of fruit do you want anyway?"

"Mangos, cherries down in the lower garden, watermelon. Anything you want?"

He shrugged, "Not that I can think of at the moment."

"Alright. Then let's go fruit hunting."

Erol nodded, "Lets."

--

"Well, we've been wandering for about an hour. Shall we stop here?" Kyra said, pointing a nearby bench. Somehow they'd made their way back to the university.

"Sure, I don't see why not."

She went over to the bench and sat down, enjoying the shade of the tree behind it.

Jance sat down next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. Shade was _nice_.

She snuggled up against him. "This is refreshing."

"Very." He nuzzled her, purring in the back of his throat.

"You sound like a cat." She smiled, pretending to scratch behind his ear.

He grinned, unable to actually stop. He almost _felt_ like a cat.

"You're _so_ weird sometimes."

He nuzzled her again, it wasn't possible to talk and purr at the same time.

She rolled her eyes. He was a mystery to her.

His lips brushed her cheek.

Her smile widened and she kissed him. Would he dare?

He kissed her back, strangely at ease.

He seemed to dare. She pulled him closer to her.

His lips met her neck with barely a second's hesitation. He was fine. What had he been stressing out for? The purring resumed.

Her lips brushed his cheek. It was becoming much more normal, easy, perfect.

He relaxed, lips pressing to hers.

She let him kiss her, enjoying the feel of his lips against her own.

He felt his attitude suddenly shift and his eyes narrowed as the purr changed to a low growl.

There was a change and she could feel it. Kyra pulled away from him for a moment. "Jance? What's wrong?"

He bared his teeth, the growl increasing in intensity.

One thought was running through her head. 'Shit.' Apparently, the animal part of him had been turned on or whatever made him go crazy.

Jance pounced on her, the only thought in his mind loud and clear: prey.

Kyra knew trying to defend herself physically would be useless – he was too strong. So she tried to use her voice to bring back her _sane_, sweet boyfriend. "Jance… Don't do this…"

His fingernails raked down her face, tearing through her skin. He let out an angry snarl.

"Please Jance. This isn't you. You aren't an animal. Please."

His mind was back in his cell with the guards; there wasn't a hint of recognition in his dark eyes.

Finally instinct kicked in and she tried to push him away.

He refused to budge, snapping at her hands.

She was bleeding quite profusely. "Please don't kill me Jance. You'll regret this your whole life."

Her words seemed to finally crack through his animalistic barrier, the deranged look fled his eyes, "Kyra?!"

"Hey." The blood was obscuring her vision. "Well, now I'll have some epic scars."

"Kyra!" What had he _done_?

"Yep?" She was about to pass out and she knew it.

Why? How? He got off her quickly, "I'm _so_ sorry."

"Mhmm…It's okay. You couldn't help it." And she passed out. "Kyra!" Tears stung his eyes as he fumbled around for his cell phone. It slipped twice from his bloody fingers before he managed to dial.

"Hello?" Valen said on the other end. "Valen speaking."

"Val…" his voice was panicked, "I attacked her…"

"What?! Oh, dammit…Um, call the hospital. Get her there. 911 and all that. I'll meet you there."

Jance nodded even though he knew Val couldn't see it. "Okay…" What had he _done_?

"Call 911. Now." Valen hung up.

Jance did, panicking even more.

"911 emergency."

What was he supposed to say? Terror was ruling his mind.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

"Yes…" his voice shook.

"What is your emergency?"

"It's my girlfriend. She-" he looked at Kyra, "She was attacked."

"What is your location?"

"The university."

"We'll be right there. Keep her breathing." They too disconnected.

He looked at Kyra, "Hang on. _Please_."

Obviously, since she was unconscious, she didn't respond.

The ambulance was there soon enough and Kyra was soon being rushed to the hospital. It was in the vehicle that Kyra woke up.

"Where's Jance?" were the first words out of her mouth.

"I'm right here."

"Good. I thought you might have left." She licked her slightly bloody lips. "Eww…my blood tastes nasty. It most likely would have poisoned you." Her eyes flickered closed again. "Don't leave me; I might not make it if you do. If I lost you…" she shook her head, then winced.

"Kyra…" he reached out and gently too her hand giving it an extremely gentle squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Try not to move too much." He looked at one of the paramedics, "Are we very far?"

"About ten minutes tops. Just keep her quiet 'til then."

Jance nodded and turned back to Kyra, his stomach doing flips. He rubbed her hand, "Please hang on."

"I am. Or trying to at least."

"Try not to talk."

She glared but didn't say a word.

He brushed her hair away from her forehead, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. You didn't mean to hurt me."

He pressed a finger of his free hand to her lips, "Shh."

Kyra rolled her eyes.

"Right, only a minute more," the driver said.

Jance nodded, not saying a word, his mind reeled as the concept continued to sink in.

They pulled up in front of the emergency room doors and the poor girl was rushed inside by two doctors and one of the people from the ambulance.

He just stood in a daze. He had _attacked_ her, wounded her.

A doctor poked his head out of the doors. "You Jance?"

He nodded.

"Two requests for you."

"Two?"

"One from some blonde guy, something about your mental state. The other was from the girl. 'Tell him to hurry up,' is how she put it."

"Where is she?" Valen could wait.

"I'll take you to her."

"Thanks."

The doctor opened the door wider to let Jance in. "She's in a bad state, but a few blood transfers and some stitches will fix that. Might have some scars, but nothing too noticeable."

Jance nodded and went to follow the man, "But she'll be okay?"

"Pretty sure. What happened anyway?"

"She was attacked." If he said he did it, they wouldn't let him see her.

"Ouch. Such a pretty little thing too." They stopped in front of a door, which the doctor opened. "In here."

Jance nodded and went in, walking over to where she lay.

Kyra lat on a hospital bed, pale as death itself. "Took you long enough," she muttered.

"Sorry." He brushed a hand down her face gently. She was paler than _him_.

"Whatever – you're here not. And I'm not sure what to tell the doctors. I've been telling them a dog attacked me, but they're not buying it." She whispered the last part.

"They have to know what really happened."

"I refuse to do that to you."

He'd have to do it himself… "Still as sweet as ever. "

"I'm not too hurt. Nothing's changed except I'm in the hospital."

"I know…"

"So why the trail off?"

"Why not?"

"I dunno."

He managed a weak grin, but couldn't seem to speak.

"I'll get out and life will go on. You _told _me this would happen. It's not big deal."

"No I warned you that it _could_. It wasn't supposed to."

"Would, could, should. They're all the same word with a letter difference."

"But I'm supposed to have control," he protested.

"Everyone slips up now and then – I'm telling you, it's okay. I still love you."

"I still love you too." It was _not_ okay. There was no way it was.

"I know. So just put it behind you. Talk to someone if it bugs you."

"I'll be okay…" Val was still waiting for him…

The door opened and two people entered. One was a doctor. The other was Valen.

Jance hadn't even glanced up; his attention was fixed on Kyra.

The psychologist came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey Jance. Hi Kyra."

"Hey Val." He didn't even react to the fact that Val was touching him.

Kyra tried to wave, but failed.

Jance glanced at Valen, his eyes pleading.

"This isn't a dream Jance. This is real. Your girlfriend really is in the hospital and you will not be waking up to find her arms around you."

"Damn…"

"Sorry."

He tried to repress a shudder and failed miserably.

"So," the doctor walked up to them, "Is someone going to tell me what happened? Kyra's story about a dog is an obvious lie and I need the truth."

Jance chewed his lip for a moment. "I did it."

The medical man blinked. "_You_ did it? You were able to do this?"

"He didn't do it!" Kyra snapped. She was _not_ going to let him turn himself in.

"I did. Stop trying to hide it Kyra, it obviously wasn't a dog."

"I don't want to lose you!"

"I don't want to lose you either, but…"

"But? But what? If you tell them what happened you could go to _jail_. Remember what it was like last time you were there? I will not be the cause of that! It would kill me."

He sighed, "If I go back, I go back." He turned back to the doctor, "_I_ did it."

The doctor nodded slowly, "Why?"

"He has a split personality problem. We're working on it." Valen said. Again the doctor nodded, obviously assuming it as total truth.

"He can stay then. I'll be right back." The doctor walked off.

"See? Nothing to worry about." Yet…

Kyra was unconvinced, "Not yet maybe. You'll still face assault charges!"

"Only if you press them."

"No, the government presses them in cases like this. I will not let that happen."

Valen slipped out of the room. He had to call Kaen.

"It'll be okay."

"I hope so."

So did he, he wasn't nearly as sure as he sounded, but he'd accept the consequences.

"You know, sometimes I wonder what I'd do without you."

"No idea." No matter what, she'd probably be finding out soon. Even if he got off…he couldn't be with her. He _couldn't_.

"I hope I never have to find out." It was inevitable and she knew it. Being him, Jance would probably decide to cut it off. But that was only a 'probably' – nothing was certain.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. He obviously wasn't stable enough for this, not by a long shot. It'd have to end.

She smiled at him. Even when he was about to leave her he was sweet.

"Kyra…" it was going to be the hardest thing he ever said.

"Yep?"

"I love you. I love you more than I knew I could," here it came…

So he _was_ going to be noble. "And I love you too."

"But I'm not stable enough for a relationship, this proves it, I'm sorry."

Dammit. "Mmm…"

"I don't want to risk hurting you again. As far as our relationship goes, I think this is our stop."

She nodded, "I've been waiting for you to say that." It broke her heart, causing a pain so indescribable she couldn't even start. "You're being noble."

"Ky…" he couldn't get beyond that. It hurt too much.

"Can you pass me my coat? It's on that chair over there."

"Sure," he did, "Why do you want it?

She began to search through some of the pockets, "Because."

"Because why?"

"Because a long time ago you said something to me that caught my interest."

"What?"

From one of the pockets, Kyra withdrew a beautiful journal with a pen attached and handed it to him. "Write it down as I like to say."

"I…" he stared at it. "Thanks. I'll think of you every time I use it." He pulled her into a gentle embrace.

She hugged him back. "Don't dwell on me. I'm sure another girl out there will eventually take my place."

"No one could ever replace you." He kissed her and pulled away. "I hope you can find someone who'll give you the life you deserve."

"Yeah…" But she knew that no one could replace him. "So now you're going to leave…"

"'Fraid so." He straightened, "Goodbye Kyra."

"Bye Jance. See you later."

Tears stung his eyes as he turned away. It was agony.

Kyra closed her eyes. When would she see him again?

_Would_ he ever see her again? It seemed unlikely. He walked out of the room and the tears began to fall.

Valen saw Jance leave but decided not to approach. He'd have to figure this one out on his own.

--

Jance walked back to the manor. It was raining and he was drenched by the time he got there. The journal Kyra had given him stayed dry, still in its plastic. He cradled it to his chest as he walked in the door, rain dripping down his face.

Cayden was leaning against a nearby wall when Jance came in. "So the _dog_ drags himself in."

Jance glared and, not helping his case, walked over to the bodyguard to shake himself off like the animal he'd just been compared to. He sent icy rain water in all directions, but managed to make most of it go to Cayden.

"Just like a dog," Cayden paused, then smiled, "I've been recently informed of your little slip up. I always knew you couldn't keep a girl, not one who genuinely liked you. And you never will."

"Fuck off."

"Still an animal. You know, I hate to say this, but I told you so." Cayden's eyes drifted to the journal. "What's this?" he said, grabbing it.

Before either man was really aware of it, Jance's teeth were up to the gum in Cayden's wrist.

"Shit!" he dropped the journal on the floor. "Let go you freak!"

Jance wrenched his teeth out and went to go retrieve his precious possession.

"Freak! What the hell is your problem?" Cayden tried to stop the bleeding. "Why are you ever so protective of that journal? I doubt Kyra gives a damn about you!"

Jance didn't dignify the comment with a reply.

Cayden stared at him in disgust, then turned away. "She'll forget you even existed."

"Bastard."

"Animal."

Jance bolted from the room. On his way to his room he slipped into Erol and Kaen's and stole Erol's yellow eco knife. The eco to make it feel like blood was on fire.

He walked into his room and put the journal in his guitar case, before setting it in a corner of the room and covering it with a sheet.

He let out an agonized how and collapsed to his bed.

Jance lay there, hating himself. How? How had he let himself lose control like that? It didn't matter; she was gone, free for another man to snatch up. His heart ached for her. He bit his lip, but a rogue tear escaped and slid down his cheek, despite his attempt to keep it from falling. It hurt _so_ much. He missed her _so_ badly. The tear was followed by another.

He adjusted his grip on the eco knife he'd stolen and raised his right hand. He placed the tip of it on his palm and slowly, agonizingly, carved out a letter, then another, and another, until her name was in his hand.

Tears spilled from his dark eyes. He'd loved her. Had loved her with every heart in or on his body. And now…now she was gone and his heart had been shattered into a billion little pieces. He wanted her back. He'd give anything…_Anything_.

Jance twisted and brought the bottom of his right foot into clear view. Starting at his heel he slid the knife under his skin and began to carve the negative space around a letter 'R'. He was _not_ going to forget. He was not. Next came 'E'. And so it continued until the only undamaged skin on the sole of his foot was the word 'remember.'

Blood splattered across the sheets as he continued his self mutilation. A seemingly endless stream of tears spilled from his eyes and a few hours later, the bloody knife slipped from his hand to the floor with a clatter. Jance let out an agonized howl as he collapsed, cut and bloody, down against the mattress. He began to sob.

Every tear was for her was for her. Every cut a reminder not to lose control. Every breath agony to draw. Every beat of his heart one that he didn't deserve. He was a monster, an animal. He deserved to suffer. He'd never deserved her, and now…Now he definitely didn't. Breaking up had been the right thing to do. It _had_ to have been.

It still hurt like hell.


	9. Chapter Eight

Well, here we go once more. Jance, Kaen, Kyra, Valen, Cayden, Hurst and Aaric belong to us. Everyone else belongs to Naughty Dog.

Okay, now on with the story!

* * *

"Erol, I'm getting worried for Jance. He's been locked in his room for a week." Kaen told her husband one day, just over a week since the day Kyra had been attacked. "I want to tell him that Kyra's okay, with only a few scars."

"You can you know, it's something he'd probably like knowing." Erol had been scared for his bother. It wasn't normal. He hadn't even heard anything, for all he knew, Jance had killed himself.

"Want to come with me, or should I go alone?"

"I'll come, but I'm not sure I feel like going in his room."

Kaen headed out the door, "I'll tell you if it's safe to look."

"Thanks." He said, following her.

She spent the long trek from her office to Jance's room pondering what damage to himself her brother-in-law had done. Finally they arrived at the door. "Well, I'll go in."

Erol nodded, "I'll be right here."

"Jance?" She called, knocking on the door. "You in there?"

There was no reply.

Erol chewed his lower lip. "Just go in. We know he's there." Or that whatever was left of him was.

Slowly, she pushed open the door and stepped in. It was like she'd walked into her hallway, only on a smaller scale. Kaen shut the door behind her and headed for bed, hoping not to get very much blood on her. "Jance?" she called softly, "You still alive?"

He moaned, "Apparently."

"You've been locked in here for a week! What've you been doing to yourself?!"

"Oh, this and that." He hadn't moved.

"Where did all this blood come from?"

He rolled over and looked at her, "Where do you think?" the movement hurt and it took all his control not to cry out.

"Because of Kyra?"

"Yes."

"She's out of the hospital."

"Oh," he cringed as he sat up.

"Only a few scars."

"That's good." Everywhere hurt.

"She misses you."

"I miss her." His voice was choked.

"So you sliced yourself up?"

"Pretty much. And of course…" he looked around at the bloody words he'd scrawled on the wall, "A few reminders…"

She sat down beside him, "Let me check you over."

He whimpered but didn't argue.

"Jance you _fool_…" Kaen muttered, looking over the wounds. All done with calikite, mostly infected. Kyra's name and 'remember' seemed to be the worst. "You could've died!"

"It's what I was aiming for."

"She wouldn't want you dead."

"Well _I_ want me dead."

"And lose the chance to _ever_ be with her?"

He looked away.

"One day, you _will_ be with her, I swear it. And _never_ do this to yourself again – only let me cut you up."

"Fine." Why couldn't she have just let him die?  
"What knife id you use to slice yourself up?"

He glanced around, finding it. He held up the blood caked weapon. "This one. Its Erol's."

"I know that – he's been missing one. I was wondering more along the lines of, 'which eco'."

"Yellow…"

"You are _such_ an idiot. Now, let's go."

"Go where?"

"Outside."

"Outside my room? Outside the house? Outside the city to dump me in the wasteland where I belong?"

"Your room – you don't belong in the wasteland. Come on, let's go out into the main manor."

He sighed and got up, a high pitched whine escaping him.

"Oh, you'll be _fine_."

Jance could feel the blood leaking from the reopened wound on his right foot. Walking would be agony.

"We'll disinfect the wound as soon as possible."

"Sure…"

Kaen sighed, walked over to the door and opened it, "Out."

He limped over to the door and left his room.

Erol looked at his brother, "Nice to see you're still alive."

"Cram it Erol," he snapped.

"His mind seems to be in a vulnerable state." Kaen muttered, mostly to herself. "He needs to talk to Valen."

Erol nodded and put an arm around Jance's shoulders, offering the older man some support, "Where to?"

"The dining room. I think he and Cayden are talking over lupper."

Jance hissed at the mention of Cayden.

"What'd Cayden do?" she asked, surprised.

"Mocked me. Seen his wrist lately?"

Erol looked at him, "What are you talking about? Kaen, do you know?"

"No, I haven't spoken to him all week. He's more hormonal than me." She placed one hand on her stomach. She still hadn't gone to the doctor, but she had nearly no doubt in her mind.

Jance smirked, "Ask him about it."

Erol looked at Kaen, seemed she'd figured out the cause of her recent changes too.

"We all can. Come on, let's go down."

"Come on Jance," Erol said, making his brother move. It was one of the times where he honestly couldn't believe that he was the younger one.

The trip to the dining room was much shorter than the on to Jance's and, just like Kaen had said, the place was inhabited by Cayden and Valen. And they were arguing, _loudly_.

Jance shoved away from his brother, glaring.

Kaen cleared her throat and her two advisors looked up. Valen managed an attempted smile, but Cayden just glared back at Jance.

"There's the little dog that bit me!" he snarled.

"And I'll do it again!"

"Freak!"

"Bastard!"

"You're a monster!"  
Jance growled, low in the back of his throat, baring his teeth.

Valen stood up. "Leave Jance along Cayden!" he snapped.

"Stop taking his side!" And Cayden punched him.

Dead silence.

Erol drew his gun. "You didn't. You did _not_ just do that."

"I did, and I'll do it again." His fist connected with Valen's jaw. The psychologist hadn't moved a muscle.

Kaen tried to speak, but couldn't. What had happened?

Erol was over in between the two in an instant, the barrel of his gun pressed to the underside of Cayden's jaw. "I swear to go I'll pull it."

"Fine." Cayden sat down.

Valen just turned on his heel and walked away; bruise already forming on his jaw.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Erol demanded, as he moved the gun to Cayden's forehead the only way he could've been madder would have been if Cayden had hit Kaen.

"What's his?!"

"Be specific." His finger begged to pull back, "Who?"

"Valen's! Jance's! Yours!"

"You _hit_ Valen, and obviously did or said something to my brother. Quit acting like you've got a fork shoved up your goddamn ass!"

"Slummer scum!"  
Jance was in the room faster than anyone would have thought possible given his current condition. His fingernails dug into the flesh around Cayden's neck. "No one insults my brother. _No one_."

Erol was shaking with rage.

Kaen couldn't restrain herself any longer. Quite calmly she walked over to Cayden and said, "You are to take back everything you've said."

"No!" he growled, "Not to Valen, not to Jance, not to Erol, not to that _thing_ you're carrying!" He glared at her stomach.

The next thing anyone knew, Cayden had a fork stabbed into his bicep and Jance was limping away looking slightly pleased with himself.

Erol was speechless.

Kaen felt tears blur her vision and her hands went protectively to her abdomen.

Erol was torn between his wife or dealing with Cayden. "Get out." He snapped at the man. "Get out _now_."

Cayden rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, throwing a last scathing glance at Kaen's protruding belly.

Erol put his gun away and wrapped his arms gently around his wife.

She was hurt, deeply hurt. How could he so quickly abandon her? Cayden had been her guard since birth and now… Now what? He'd betrayed them all.

"You going to be alright sweetheart?"

Kaen nodded mutely. How could this have happened?

Erol glared at the doorway Cayden had left though, and one hand came to rest over Kaen's. He was thoroughly disgusted.

"How could he do that?" she whispered, "How could he do that?"

"I don't know. I just don't know."

"Are you going to do that too?"

"No. Never."

Again she nodded, then curled up against him. "Can we go somewhere else? Please?"

It was his turn to nod, "Of course we can," he rubbed his nose against her neck, "Come on."

"'Kay." At least she had one person who wouldn't, possibly couldn't, leave her.

--

Valen had headed straight to his room after Cayden hit him. It seemed that nothing had truly changed in his life – he was still a freak. So, he had decided to stop trying to be a real person and go back to the state he was born to be in.

His first action upon returning home was to lock the door and windows, no one would be able to get in with it all locked up. He hummed a happy tune as he worked, he'd be free soon.

Next he went to the bathroom and flushed all of his medication down the toilet. His mind felt lighter immediately. He was free from that prison he'd been stuck in.

The last thing he did was possibly the strangest. From a drawer in his bathroom he took out a box of dark blue hair dye and dyed his hair. Now he was done.

Sweet, sweet madness.

--

Jance hadn't gotten particularly far after leaving the dining room. The pain in his foot had become unbearable. At least the reminder was doing its job. He sat down and slumped against the wall, tears of pain in his eyes.

This was all Cayden's fault. It wasn't completely true, but it still felt good to blame him.

"You okay Jance?"

"I will be."

Kaen knelt down beside him. She was still in a bad state, her hand drifting to her stomach every so often. "You have to let the past go."

"It'll be tricky to do now." He noticed her hand on her stomach but decided not to comment on it.

"You can re-skin it after it heals. Move on, fall in love again. I'm sure someone can take her place."

He shook his head, his throat constricting on him, "That's like telling you someone could take Erol's place if you ever lost him," he stared at the ground.

"You loved her a lot, didn't you?"

He nodded, the tears he'd shed for Kyra threatening to return.

"Time heals all wounds; she will one day become only a memory."

He nodded again, vision blurring and his throat still too tight to speak.

This shouldn't be happening to him! She mentally screamed. It should be Kyra comforting him! "Why don't you want to move on?"

"I loved her…"

"Loved?"

"I _love_ her."

She sighed. "You won't ever get over it, will you?"

"No."

"Alright. I can't begrudge you that. Just don't hold your breath she'll feel the same."

Jance sat there, leaning against the wall, part of him wanting to resume his self mutilation. He glanced at Kaen's knives and he tried to grab the one closer to him.

She slapped his hand away. "No more cutting," she warned.

"Dammit."

"I'm going now. Don't hurt yourself, kill yourself or harm yourself in anyway. Go to the infirmary and get your wounds looked after. Do I make myself clear?"

"As mud."

"As _crystal_. You can hurt yourself while you _walk_ to the infirmary."

"Dammit."

Kaen stood up, "I'll see you later Jance. Just let her go – she's not worth that." Then she turned and left to find her husband.

Jance sighed and decided to stay where he was for the moment. Walking hurt too much.

Kaen eventually succeeded in catching up to Erol, "Your brother has sworn to love Kyra until he dies."

"Has he?"

"Yep."

"Wow…I always thought…I don't know…that he'd just stay uninteresting in girls."

She opened her mouth to answer, but stopped. In that moment, all of a sudden, she had felt something kick her. _Internally_. She stared at her abdomen.

"Kaen?"

"I-" Again, a kick.

His eyes narrowed, "Are you alright?"

"I could have sworn…" she placed her hands on her stomach just in time to feel another kick. Movement. Why?

"Could've sworn…?" He walked over and hugged her from behind, setting his hands on the bulge in her abdomen. Could it really be?

Another bloody kick. She continued to deny her immediate reaction. It couldn't be a child – not this soon.

There was no longer any hint of doubt in his mind. She was pregnant, that was the only answer that made any sense. So much for any form of life insurance…

"What's going on…?"

"I think…you might want to go to the infirmary…"

"I think so too," she said weakly. "I'll be back soon…"

"You going to be okay on your own?"

"You want to come?"

"If you want me to."

She bit her lower lip, "I think I'll go alone."

He nodded and kissed her cheek, "See you later then. If you see Jance, you should probably take him, I doubt he's gone."

"Yep. Talk to you soon." And then she was gone.

On her trips up and from the infirmary, Kaen did not even run into Jance. Not that was paying much attention on her trip back – there were other things on her mind.

The doctors had confirmed it: she was pregnant and had been for five months. To clear her head she had decided to go down to the conservatory and ponder what to do.

--

Erol had no idea what to do, Kaen had been gone for quite and he was getting worried about her. There were very few places she'd go, and almost none of them appealing.

He'd start at the conservatory.

--

Kaen was sitting beside a pool of water, watching the fish swim by and turning a knife over in her hands. What to do?

--

"Shit." He'd forgotten about the palm lock.

The gardener shuffled over to him. "Palm lock got you?"

"Yes."

"Tried to use it yet?"

Erol held up his hand, "It won't work."

"Hot wire it?"

"Not yet."

"You going to try either of them?"

"Unless you have a better idea, I was planning on hot wiring, why?"

"Just wondering."

"Can you get me a screwdriver?"

"Useless, you can hotwire it."

"Oh."

"You can try to open it."

"With _my_ hand?"

"Yep."

He sighed and placed his hand on the lock. A sharp electrical pain shot up his arm and he cried out, pulling his hand away.

The gardener laughed, "You are a gem."

Erol stared at him, "Did you just call me a _gem_?"

"Yep. You are quite a gem."

"Aaric?"

"No I'm Hurst."

"Okay then…" Strange coincidence.

"Little brother."

"_What_?!"

"I'm Aaric's little brother?"

"How?"  
"I loved the earth, the flowers, the trees, the fruit…Aaric died and, once he became God, gave me immortality. I can live in this conservatory 'til Judgment Day." Hurst looked very proud of himself.

"I see…" he didn't but it involved Aaric so it made enough sense. A thought came to him, "If you're Aaric's brother, that makes you related to Kaen, right?"

"Yes, yes I am." He placed his hand on the lock and the door opened.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Go save her."

Erol didn't need any further urging. Save her? How badly had Kaen taken this?

--

Kaen flipped the knife over and over. A baby? It seemed unreal to her. A _baby_!

"Kaen?" Which way had she gone?

"Over here!" she called. What would Erol think?

He found her and ran over, eyes falling on the blade. Without thinking he grabbed the knife. "What are you _doing_?"

"Umm…Playing with my knife…Why did you just grab the blade of said knife?"

"Uh…" Okay, _that_ hurt.

"I wasn't trying to kill me and…it or anything!"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm five months pregnant, if you didn't already realize…I don't know the gender yet…so it's an it."

"I had realized." Why had he grabbed the _blade_? "I'd come to that conclusion when you were still getting morning sick."

"Yeah…Well, it's confirmed now." She placed as hand on her stomach. "In four months, we'll be…parents."

He shook his head, "It's hard to believe…"

"And _us_. Well, I suppose you _did_ say you were going to father my children."

He laughed weakly, "It's why I'm here," he said quietly, placing his right hand, his _good_ hand against her stomach.

"Wait, wait, wait. Why you're here? Do _not_ tell me my grandfather sent you back simply to knock me up!"

He laughed again, "You're a gem…" What the hell had he just said?! "Um… It was quite the driving force behind his decision…"

"My family's screwed up." She smiled at him. "And now you're part of it."

"So I am."

"How does it feel?"

"To be part of your family? Not particularly different than not being part of it. Though I do feel rather unclean when I realize I'm now related to Faine."

"Tell me about it. At least you're not his flesh and blood – you just married it."

"Oh well, I don't have to deal with him, so…" he shrugged.

"Have you ever met him?"

"Twice."

"In heaven?"

"Once there, once when he raped my mother. I'm not fond of either encounter."

"What'd he say up there?"

"Nothing much, we mostly just insulted each other until Aaric broke it up."

"Oh. That's nice." Kaen stood up, "We should probably get that hand checked out. And I need some chocolate."

Erol glanced at his hand, the knife having slipped from his fingers and he eased off his glove. He pulled a face, it was _bad_.

"How bad?" Kaen picked up the knife and looked the blade over.

"Bad."

She began to lick the calikite. "Then we better hurry."

He gave her a shocked look, slightly horrified by her action, "Yeah, we should…"

"What's that look for?"

"You're licking my blood off a knife. It's rather unnerving."

"But you taste good. Sorry love, but it was too hard to resist."

"I…" he blinked, "I'd gathered."

"It's not my fault I have this problem!"  
"No, of course not. I'm still just not used to it," he looked at the bloody mess of his hand and attempted to move his fingers. Nothing. "Dammit…" he muttered quietly.

"Nerves severed?"

"It would appear so."

"Poor baby."

"I don't want your fake sympathy."

"It's slightly real. _Slightly_."

"Well, I still don't want it." What the hell had he been thinking when he'd grabbed the knife? "I'm heading to the infirmary."

"Very well. Want me to come?"

"If you want."

"Do _you _want?"

He shrugged.

"You're funny sometimes. I'm going to get some chocolate and find Valen."

He nodded, "Alright, see you later."

"Alright." She put down the knife, "I'll see you." She kissed his cheek and left.

--

Valen lay on his bed and stared up at the ceiling blankly, mind whirling.

"The knives, the knives are coming to steal my eyes from my face. The medication, steals my eyes. Steals them.

"I'm floating, the universe, is dark before me. It disappears with the wave of my hand. Power in the darkness, in the blue."

He stroked his hair absently, "Power in blue.

"And my brain, chop it up, mash it up. My eyes, pull 'em out. Don't want hot dogs filled with brains and eyes."

"Course you don't want nasty hot dogs," the boy muttered beside him. "Hot dogs with nasty brains and thoughts don't taste nice." He kissed Valen's cheek, which made Valen smile.

"My friends eat hot dogs," he said quietly. "But they don't wave the universe away. Not like me. Not with blue."

"Not with blue."

Valen sat up, "I need to leave."

"Where?"

"Into the not blue world. Universe stayed intact. Eat me up, steal my eyes. Eat my eyes. The knives are gonna steal my eyes."

The boy sat up. "Go on then, eat your brain."

Valen left the room, mind whirling.

They'd steal his eyes.


	10. Chapter Nine

Right so, our normal discaimer. Jance, Kaen, Kyra, and Valen are ours. Ashelin, Torn, Erol, Krew, Mizo, and Rayn belong to Naughty Dog. Knives are mine.

On with the show.

* * *

Erol decidedly did not enjoy getting stitches in his hand. He screamed in agony.

"Stuff it my lord," the doctor snapped, "You're making it worse!"

"You stuff it!"

"Just shut it. Your wife will probably scream less than this!"

"My wife has a higher pain tolerance than I do."

"Not when she's giving birth. Anyway, you're done."

"Thanks," he muttered.

"Anything else?"

"Not to my knowledge," he was about to leave when a thought struck him, "Has Jance been here?"

"No sir, he hasn't. I think someone saw him crawling back to his room."

Erol rolled his eyes, "Idiot…Well…he'll probably turn up sometime." Whenever he or Kaen got around to dragging him down there.

"Well, if you need nothing else, you're to have to leave."

He nodded and left, deciding to go find Kaen.

--

Kaen was sitting in the kitchen, eating a lot of chocolate.

Valen was in the Great Hall, pacing a figure eight pattern. Where was the blue?

Erol found Valen first, he stopped and stared. He watched the psychologist, "Oh god…" his hair had been dyed, that wasn't a good sign.

"Hello Erol," his voice was strained. "How are you?"

"Good. You?" Valen was off his meds…Erol could already tell.

"Good enough I guess. How's Kaen?"

"Good."

"That's good…I don't want hot dogs for lunch!" His eyes bulged as he said the last sentence. "Brains are nasty and full of thought!" His breathing had sped up. "Don't want nasty hot dogs. Knives steal my eyes, bloody knives and I thought Kaen would be more scared about the pregnancy."

Erol blinked, Valen seemed to have at least three trains of the going. Not good. "She seemed pretty calm about it, but she might just be in shock. I'm not entirely sure." How long _had_ Valen been off his meds? It couldn't have been long, but…

"That's good. I kinda wanna see her, but the knives won't let me. Steal my eyes. Eat the blue right up."

"Nothing's stopping you from talking to her."

"The knives are. You know, you could have saved yourself a lot of trouble by dating me."

Erol cringed, his hands clenching involuntarily. He swore feeling the stitches rip open. "Valen!" He started at the psychologist. "How long have you been off your meds?"

"Meds hinder my mind."

Erol walked over and grabbed the back of Valen's shirt. "They do _not_. Now you're coming with me."

"No! No! Meds hurt me, take it away. Hot dogs are good. And after we go to wherever you're taking me, I have a message to relay to you."

"You can tell me the message on the way."

"No! Not until we're blue!"

Erol rolled his eyes and continued to drag Valen along with him.

"NO! NO MEDS!"

"Yes!"

"Blue! Help! No hot dogs…"

"Shut up Valen!"

"NO! Stupid redhead, not very blue…"

Erol twitched and resisted the urge to call his friend a 'dumb blonde.' "Yes!" He pulled Valen into his room. "Go take your meds."

"They went down a whirlpool."

"You didn't…" he walked into Valen's bathroom, dragging the schizophrenic behind him. There were almost always some extra pills in there.

"Down, down, down," Valen mumbled.

Erol pulled open the medicine cabinet and it didn't take him long to find the extra medication.

"Don't want meds."

"I don't care, you're taking them."

"Don't need meds. They're not blue."

Erol forced the dosage into his friend's hand. "_Take them_."

"NO!" Valen fought to get away.

"I will force them down your throat if I have to. Take them!"

The psychologist glared, then dry swallowed the pills.

"Thank god. _Never_ do that again."

"Yeah…" the other man stared blankly into space, then snapped back. "Dear god, what have I done?!"

"I don't know details, but you dyed your hair for one thing." Now that he was no longer focused, the pain in his hand decided to make itself apparent.

"I what?!" Valen stared in the mirror, horrified. He had _dyed_ his hair!

"I'd applaud you if the pain wouldn't kill me."

"What pain?"

Erol held up his left hand. "This pain."

"Oh…you should go to the infirmary."

"Yeah…" he wasn't looking forward to getting it redone.

"I'm going to go kill my hair. Go on up and get yourself fixed."

"Fine. By the way, Jance probably needs to talk to you."

"Cause of Kyra?"

"Yeah. He's taken to self mutilation."

"Alright. I'll be there soon. Please go away."

Erol nodded, "See you later." And he headed out of Valen's rooms.

Valen sat down on the edge of the bathroom counter and sighed. He'd tell them the news later.

--

If Erol had thought the initial stitches were bad, the second time around had to be about ten times worse. He fought against the urge to scream.

"You're still being a baby," the doctor sighed, pulling the needle through. "I asked if you want painkiller – you said no."

"Yeah, I know." He replied through gritted teeth.

"Your wife was here earlier with your brother."

"Oh?"

"He's badly infected, especially his foot. And who is this Kyra? I didn't know he had a lover."

"She's his ex-girlfriend. Is he going to be okay?"

"Physically? He'll be limping for life. Emotionally? He'll be scarred for life. That girl must have trashed him bad."

"Actually," Erol winced, "_He_ broke up with _her_."

"Oh…well, he isn't taking it well. I don't know if you know how lucky you are." He tugged on the thread.

Erol bit back a cry, "I'm insanely lucky."

"Yep, you've got everything," the doctor tied a knot in the string. "All done."

"Thanks…again…"

"Welcome. Now get out."

He stood and left, wondering where Kaen had gone.

--

Kaen sat in her office, across from Jance and Valen, waiting for Erol.

Jance was sulking, he wanted to go lock himself in his room some more.

"It'll be alright Jance," Valen said soothingly.

He snorted.

"You need to let her go."

He held up his right hand. It wasn't possible to let go.

"You can re-skin it. Don't dwell."

"It hurt enough the first time!" As if he could ever re-skin his _hand_.

"It'll help let her go. Kyra wouldn't want you to dwell."

"Well…" he shrugged.

"Well? It's not healthy. You can't have loved her _that_ much."

"I did. Drop it."

Valen made a face, but did as he was asked.

Kaen sighed – when would this end? Better yet, where?

Jance curled up on his chair, wrapping his arms around his legs and put his head on his knees. When was Erol going to show up?

"Don't you think he'd be here by now?" The crime lady asked. The baby had resumed it's kicking.

"Who'd be here?" Erol asked, walking in.

"_You'd_ be here," Kaen smiled at him – she'd heard Valen's story.

"Well I'm here now," he walked over and gave her a quick kiss before going to take a seat.

"Alright, we are here because Valen has called a meeting. Valen?"

The formerly blonde man stood up. "We've received a call. It was an interesting invitation to hear the reading of Krew's will."

Kaen looked thoughtful, "Wasn't he that wannabe?"

"Yep. So we're going to Kras in a few days."

"Why Kras?" Erol asked, "I thought most of his dirty work was here."

"But that's where he was from originally and that's where his daughter lives."

"Krew has a _daughter_?!" Erol was appalled by the notion.

Jance cringed in his seat.

Kaen shrugged, "And I'm betting she's beautiful and thin."

"I doubt it."

"I'll make a bet with you then."

"Fine. The stakes?" Erol smirked.

"Mine is three chocolate bars."

"Alright."

"Fine. Valen, there anything else?"

"No. So, we're going?"

"Yes. Any objections?"

Erol shook his head.

Jance shrugged indifferently.

"Very well. When do we leave?"

"Actually…tomorrow would be good…"

"Sounds good." Erol nodded.

Jance unfolded himself and got up.

"If you cut yourself I'll have to kill you. Maybe make you race while we're on our trip," Valen said.

"I'm not going to," he limped over to the door.

Valen got up and followed him out. Time for some more head-and-sink dunking.

"So…" Erol looked at his wife. "How're you doing?"

"Other than the bruise forming on the inside of my abdomen? I'm doing good."

"Kicking again?" he asked.

"Yep." She flinched.

"That bad?" he moved closer and slipped his right hand onto her stomach.

"Kinda. It's just weird."

"I bet."

"Usually when you bet, I beat you."

"I'm agreeing this time though."

"Point." Another kick. While it sort of hurt, it was also kind of comforting. At least the baby was still alive.

Erol kissed her cheek gently, "We should probably go pack."

"How old fashioned."

He shrugged, "Servants are just too weird."

"But they're helpful." She sighed, "I should probably get some new clothes."

"Probably."

"Stupid weird maternity clothes…" she stood up. "Let's go then."

--

Erol stood down in the entrance way, he was the first one ready to go.

Valen wasn't far behind. "Ready to go?"

"Yep. Are you?"

"Indeed. How's Kaen getting along?"

"Pretty well. Seen my brother yet?"

"No. He should be here soon."

Erol nodded, "So, I see you still have the blue hair…You _do_ have your meds, right?"

"Yes mother."

"Hey, it's weird dealing with you when you're like that. You have no idea how weird it is."

"You're not the screwed up one!"

"I beg to differ," Kaen had come downstairs.

"Hey sweetheart." Erol said, grinning at her.

"Hello love," she kissed his cheek. "Where's Jance?"

"No idea. Val hasn't seen him either."

"He should be along soon enough."

"Yeah, he should be." Where _was _he? Jance was holding them up.

"Yep. We might have to leave without him," Valen said, checking his watch.

"I'm here." Jance said, limping into the entrance way, his guitar between his shoulders.

"Excellent. Let's go." Valen headed out the door.

Erol looked at his brother with concern, "Are you okay?"

"Fine." Jance snapped before following Valen.

"He took this harder than I'd ever imagined," Kaen sighed.

Erol sighed, "I never thought it would've happened to him…"

"Love or losing a girl?"

"Both."

"Ah… That Kyra was a rare girl. Quite a gem."

"Now _you're_ talking like Aaric. Come on sweetheart, we should go."

"Yep." She took his free hand and squeezed it. "Ready?"

He squeezed her hand back, nodding.

And she headed out the door.

Erol went with her, walking out to where their ride was waiting.

--

The trip was long and tedious, mostly because of Jance's mood. By the time they got to Kras, everyone was grateful to get out of the vehicle.

Jance was glad to be out; stretching the moment he'd left the car.

Valen helped Kaen get out of the car. "Well, we're here."

She nodded, then told the driver, "Take out things to the hotel." She didn't wait for an answer – she didn't need one.

Erol slipped an arm around his wife's shoulders, concerned about how she'd taken the trip. He knew _he'd_ found his brother's attitude trying. "You okay sweetheart?"

"As close as I'll ever be with this child," She pointed at Jance, "Child meaning him."

Erol couldn't hide his amused grin.

"So I'm immature. What's your point?" Jance asked miserably.

"That you're acting like a child. Shall we go in?"

Valen nodded, "Sure. I guess."

Jance scowled but said nothing.

"After you," Erol said.

"Alright…" Taking a deep breath, Kaen headed into the building where she would either win or lose the bet.

Erol followed, casting a quick glance to make sure his brother was coming.

Valen sighed and came with them.

Jance scowled at the floor as he skulked, bringing up the rear.

"So who's all going to be here?" the crime mistress asked her advisor as she pushed through the last door. People like her didn't knock.

Valen shrugged, "I didn't ask."

"Kaen! I should've known you'd show up." Ashelin said brightly as the newcomers entered.

"Hey Ashelin! Yeah, I was dragged. How've you been?"

"Good, you?" It was then that the change in Kaen's physique registered. "Oh my god!"

"Err…Yeah."

"How long?"

"Til I'm due, or how long have I been pregnant?"

"Til you're due."

"Four months."

Erol had entered by then and had noticed Torn sitting next to the other woman and had proceeded to engage him in low conversation.

Valen walked in after them, then promptly turned and left. He felt like leaving would be a good idea.

Jance, being the general pain in the ass he currently was, caught Valen before he got too far and decided that the other man was not about to get away, "If you don't go in, _I_ don't have to go in."

"You are acting like a child." His psychologist sighed. "Fine, I suppose I'll go in. I'm going to regret this, I _know_ I am."

The older man smirked, thank god for small victories.

"Let's go back in then."

Jance waited for Valen to go in before limping in after him.

Kaen had sat down beside Ashelin but wasn't looking at her. No, she was staring at the door, obviously waiting for someone other than Valen or Jance.

Erol had moved away from Torn, finishing the quick conversation they'd been having and took the seat next to his wife. "Waiting for the bet result?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah…I'm craving chocolate right now."

He laughed, "I'll give it to you even if you lose."

"You're an angel." Mmm…chocolate.

He was about to reply when a woman entered the room carrying a bottle of wine. Erol raised an eyebrow at her and pulled out the chocolate, passing it to Kaen. "You win."

"When will you stop betting against me? You're fighting a losing battle love…"

"I know."

The woman cleared her throat, commanding the attention of the room, "It looks like some people didn't quite make it. Oh well…" she paused, "I'm Rayn. It was my father's wish that before we began with his will, we would hold a toast." She indicated the wine bottle, "This vintage he kept for the very occasion.

It took all of Kaen's power not to snicker. How pathetic. To keep her mouth shut, she simply started gnawing on the chocolate.

Kaen's action amused Erol and it took all of his self control not to laugh.

Rayn continued on, uncorking the bottle and pouring the wine into various glasses, setting the first one aside for herself. "So, without any further ado, a toast, to my father's untimely death," she set out the wine glassed in front of Erol, Ashelin, Kaen, and Torn, ignoring Valen and Jance.

Valen felt pleased to be left out. Now he wouldn't have to explain his non-drinking.

Kaen looked doubtfully at the glass – would she dare? Especially with the baby?

Erol wasn't about to let her risk it, grabbing the glass and passing it to his brother. "Here."

Jance pulled a disgusted face but took it anyway.

Rayn raised her hand and everyone with a glass did likewise.

Kaen leaned back in her chair. The daughter seemed as slimy as her father.

Everyone drained their glasses, Jance staring unhappily at his empty glass. "Never make me drink wine again." He shuddered.

"Sorry, but _I_ can't drink. Unless you want a screwed up niece or nephew."

"Never again." He repeated.

"I apologize."

Jance glared morosely at the tabletop.

Rayn sighed and began to play the recording of the will for everyone. A hologram of the deceased gang lord appeared.

"What a lard bucket. I could never abide him," Kaen whispered to her husband.

He grinned at her, "Me neither," he whispered back.

The hologram had begun a speech with a lot of pointless preamble that no one really paid much attention to until it said, "You are here because you are the best. And you are _all_ going to race for me in the grand championship race."

Erol's eyes narrowed muttering, "Like hell."

"Did he know me, Jance and Valen would be here?"

"Probably not. He was probably banking on more racers."

"And now," the image continued on, "I'll tell you why you _will _race for me and you _will_ win. If all went according to plan, you just gave a toast in my honor. Well, I put poison in that special vintage. Thankfully, for you, it's a slow acting poison, or else you'd already be dead. The only way to get the antidote is to win the races and save yourselves."

"Damn," Valen said. "Only time in my life I've been glad I can't drink."

Kaen's eyes widened in horror.

Ashelin whipped out her gun and stalked over to Rayn. "What the hell did you do to us?"

The other woman put up her hands defensively. "I didn't know, I drank it too."

Erol screamed internally, wondering why people kept trying to kill him.

"Aaric won't let this happen to you again," Kaen said, placing a hand gently on his arm, "I haven't actually had the kid yet…"

"Yeah…" he didn't like the situation at all. Three racers out of six people. The odds sucked.

"Trust me. Nothing will happen to you. I have a feeling that if anyone dies, it'll be me."

"I'm not about to let that happen," he told her. Racing was going to be difficult with only one good hand…

Jance was sitting with his head on the table, moaning unhappily.

Valen whacked his head with one of the glasses, "Stop moaning."

Jance sat up brushing broken glass out of his hair. "Ow."

"You deserved it."

"Did not."

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

Kaen stood up. "Both of you – shut up. Lard bucket's caused me a very unfortunate problem.

Jance glared, running his hand through his hair to ensure all of the shards of glass were gone. He stood muttering, "Just shoot me now."

Erol glanced at his hands, attempting to flex his left one to no avail. His fingers twitched and he grimaced at the pain. Hopeless. They were all screwed.

Kaen decided to finally take things into her own hands. "Rayn," she said, turning to the other crime lady. "Why are they racing?"

"I…I don't know…"

"Well take a wild guess!"

"I…" here eyes darted around, "It might have something to do with Father's line of work…"

Valen looked over at her, "Stop lying. There's no point."

The woman sighed, dropping the scared attitude, "It's a wager. My father made a bet with Mizo, the other crime lord in this city, if you don't win the race, you can't get the antidote."

"Well, that's comforting. Crime is something I can understand."

"The championship will decide who runs this place once and for all."

"Okay. Noble cause."

"Noble cause?!" Erol snapped.

"Yeah. It's something I would do. Not to you, of course, but to someone else."

"Well, _that'_ comforting."

"I know. So when does this start?"

"The races begin two days from now, they end about two months away." Rayn said.

"I'll be nearly due…Right then…Well, I'm off."

Valen stood up too. "I'll come too."

Jance had already disappeared, having slipped out when Rayn had revealed the reason for the poisoning.

Erol glanced around at Torn and Ashelin, "So…Us three racing then?"


	11. Chapter Ten

So, here we go once again. Kaen, Jance, Valen, and Kyra belong to us. Knives are mine. Everyone and everything else belongs to Naughty Dog. Blah, blah, blah. :)

Anyway, on with the show.

* * *

It didn't take long for Kaen to become comfortable in the new city. Several of her own agents called Kras home and they were more than happy to help her around. There were some days, however, where there was no one to help her around while her husband and friends raced – on those days, Kaen went to a bar. Not that she drank, she wouldn't because of the baby, but she felt comfortable there.

However, after four days in the city, and two days of hanging out at said bar, the crime mistress was approached by someone who would soon play a fairly major role in their lives.

That day, Kaen was sitting on a bar stool, minding her own business and sipping her water when she felt someone come up behind her. She immediately stiffened – that couldn't be good. No one just randomly approached someone like her.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing all by yourself in a place like this?" The voice was silky and accented, "Someone might try to take advantage of you."

Of course it had to be some guy. "Are you trying to suggest something?"

"Possibly."

"Possibly? That's comforting."

"Isn't it?" He slipped around to the seat to her right, sitting down and leaning on the top of the bar.

She raised an eyebrow. "Who are you anyway?"

"My name's Razer." He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a slow drag.

"Okay…" And second hand smoke, that was just great. That moment was one of those moments she wished Erol was permanently attached to her side.

He seemed to make a point of _not_ blowing the smoke at her, "You never answered my question."

"Which question?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I was bored… Nothing more, nothing less. Everyone seems busy today…"

"Ah."

"Yeah, nothing particularly interesting. What was the answer you were expecting?"

"I don't know. But you're obviously not drinking."

She grinned. "I can't. Don't dare risk it."

He shrugged taking another drag on the cigarette.

All of her was now begging for Erol, Valen, Jance, Ashelin or even _Torn_ to show up and save her from what was quickly becoming an awkward situation.

Razer said nothing as a man entered the bar, his bright green eyes ran a quick glance over the newcomer; not unlike Erol had done to Kaen once or twice.

If she thought it was safe, Kaen would have started laughing hysterically. Well, she couldn't be in _too_ much danger, not if both guys and girls caught his interest. In fact, if he wandered away to go talk to said guy, she might actually be able to slip away…

He seemed to consider the man for a moment before shaking his head slightly.

Dammit.

"So what brings you to Kras?" He asked, turning his attention back to her. "You're obviously not from around here."

"A feud I somehow got myself got caught up in. Some gang thing." She shrugged. "It's not really my problem."

"Involving my boss no doubt."

"Who'd you work for?" Kaen now found herself slightly interested - this was a world she could understand.

"Mizo. I'm on his racing team."

She nodded. "I've been wondering who lard bucket had a grudge against…"

"You mean Krew?"

"Lard bucket."

He nodded slowly. "Thought so."

"I assume you weren't exactly bosom buddies with him or his daughter, were you?"

"They're Mizo's rivals. That makes them _my_ rivals. I heard Rayn brought in a few new drivers, rather stupid move. Staking everything on people who've never been in a combat race..." He shook his head, "Hardly competition. My team will crush them into the dust."

"And those people would be my friends and family."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. True, I have very little faith in them, but still…" She sighed.

Razer was about to speak when a very familiar redhead entered into the bar. As with the other man, Razer also gave him a cursory glance, this one was far more intriguing.

For a moment, Kaen seriously considered running over to Erol and asking him to save her, but decided against it. If he felt like it was worth it, he'd come save her himself.

Erol saw her and he grinned, walking over, "Hey sweetheart."

"Hey love." She smiled at him, relieved that he had saved her once again.

Erol wrapped his arms around her, whispering softly in her ear, "Is _he_ bothering you?"

"Yeah."

Erol shot a quick glare at Razer but the man seemed not to notice. "You want to go?"

"Pretty please. Anywhere. Preferably with you."

He smirked, "Alright, want to go back to the hotel?"

"That sounds nice enough to me."

He pulled away and offered her a hand up, "Then let's go."

She took his hand gratefully. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

She rolled her eyes.

He brushed a quick kiss on her cheek before leading her out of the bar.

She was glad to get out of the place. "Okay, I'd like to say it's one thing for a guy to check me out, but it's completely another when he turns around to do the same thing to a guy."

"There _are_ bisexuals in the world."

"I know. It was just weird. Especially when he looked at you…"

Erol cringed, his right hand clenching involuntarily on him, "He _didn't_..."

"He did. And I hope that wasn't your bad hand."

"It wasn't. See?" He held up both hands and made a fist with his right one before carefully flexing the fingers on his left.

"Very nice love. Very nice."

"Thanks." His hand annoyed him; it was starting to cost him in the rankings. "I wish it would just heal already..."

"It'll heal in time." She brought the hand with the stitches up to her lips and kissed it. "Don't worry about it."

"I'll try not to. Speaking of wounds...Seen Jance lately?" Erol hadn't seen him since the poisoning.

"No. I think he's locked himself in his room again."

"Oh god..."

"I think he's sleeping this time though. Nothing to worry about."

"Sure there is. He could be dead. He's not looking after himself. I don't remember the last time I saw him eat."

"He has blood in his body, doesn't he? Food and liquid isn't an issue."

"Ew...I mean, I _know_ he does it, but still..." Erol shuddered.

"It's not that bad."

"To you, maybe. To someone like me, it is."

"Okay, so me and Jance are freaks. Your point?"

"In a very roundabout way: I'm worried about my brother."

"I'll talk to Valen and see what he can do. I have a feeling he'll need to work this whole thing out on his own."

"Fair enough."

Actually, as it was, Kaen didn't need to go tell Valen to talk to Jance - he'd already figured that one out on his own. So, the psychologist had made the trek over to Jance's room and knocked loudly on the door. "Jance?" he called.

There was no reply.

He shoved the door open. "Jance!"

Again there was no reply.

Valen, now thoroughly confused, walked over to the bed and the limp figure on it. "JANCE!" he shouted in the sleeping man's ear. "GET UP!"

Jance finally moved, "Lemme alone." He mumbled, rolling over.

"Nope. We're getting worried about you. Wake up and get something to eat and drink."

He muttered something into his pillow.

"Get your ass out of bed!"

"No."

Valen, who was quite a bit stronger than he looked, hauled the other man off the bed and shoved him towards the kitchenette. "Eat. Drink. Shower."

Jance staggered for a moment, nearly falling flat on his face before gaining some footing. "Fine. God..."

"Do it. Then we'll have a little chat. Got it?"

Jance sighed, "Fine..."

Valen sat down on the bed and waited for Jance to finish.

The older man came limping back into his room around fifteen minutes later. "Happy now?"

"No. But I will be soon. Shall we have a chat?"

"I guess."

"Very well. I'll get straight to the point: you need to stop locking yourself away."

"Ugh. Alright, I guess..."

"Why are you locking yourself away?"

"I dunno. I just don't feel like dealing with anyone."

"Why?"

"Cause all I hear is the same old thing. And I'm sick of it."

"What same old thing?"

"'Get over her.'"

"You _do_ need to get over her."

"Cram it." Jance snapped.

"I don't care how hard you fight, but it's simply something you have to do. I'd tell anyone else the same…"

"Anyone except Kaen."

"Even her. You _need_ to let Kyra go."

"Strange how I don't believe you..."

"About needing to let her go or about Kaen?"

"Kaen."

"I would, don't doubt it. There's no point dwelling on fruitless love. Some other man will simply snatch Kyra up and she'll forget all about you. You should do the same."

"I _do_ doubt it. You never said a _thing_ about this to her when Erol died!"

"I knew that they would come back together eventually! You and Kyra won't!"

Jance said nothing, chewing his lower lip, he felt like he'd just been punched in the gut.

Valen sighed and shook his head. "You just need to let her go. It's not worth it. You can't keep pretending you're still in love with her."

"I _am_!"

"You _can't_ be. You cannot still love her. You dated for three months, that's hardly any time at all."

"What difference does time make?! I love her!"

"JANCE! Stop this madness! Even if you still think you love her, you can't continue to do so. It's just not worth it. You need to move on, fall for some other girl, try again."

"I can't..."

"This is only a passing phase. You'll forget she ever existed. I bet that in a few years, you could see her wrapped in someone's arms and wouldn't give a damn."

Jance could feel angry tears burn his eyes and he glared at Valen.

"What?! I'm just speaking the truth. You can't keep locking yourself away - it's not worth it. She's not worth it. Kyra was just some girl off the street…"

"Who I _love_!"

"Get over her!"

"NO!"

"Why must you persist on holding onto the past? If she doesn't care about you, why would you bother to care about her?"

"SHUT UP!" Jance snarled, "You don't get it! Just shut up!"

"I can't, not as long as I'm your shrink. You need to realize this is unhealthy behavior. Let her go, Jance, she's not worth your tears. She probably is trying to forget right now too. She'll want to move on and have kids. A life. A _husband_."

Every word stung. He was done, this conversation was over. Jance turned away, struggling not to let the tears fall. Cayden had been right, he really was just an animal, and no matter what people actually said, they never truly cared about animals.

Valen felt slightly sorry for him – slightly. This was necessary for Jance's survival. "Just give it up Jance. Just give it up. She doesn't love you." At least he _hoped_ she didn't.

Jance cringed; Valen's tongue was a whip, his words lashes in his back. He couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

The final blow. "She'll _never_ love you."

He let out a howl of agony before looking back at the psychologist, dark eyes furious, "Get the fuck out of my room."

"Right," Valen got up off the bed, went over the kitchenette, took away all the plastic knives, then left the room. Mission accomplished.

Jance stayed there, seething for a few moments before suddenly going over to where he'd put his guitar and pulled out the journal Kyra had given him. He took the pen, flipped to the first page, and began to write.

Kaen ran into Valen on her way up to Jance's room. "Hey Val! Have you seen Jance?"

"Yeah…I just came from his room."

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. He's just needing some alone time."

She nodded, "Okay. Then I won't go bug him."

"I'd suggest not."

"What happened with him?" Erol asked, deciding to join the conversation.

"He's letting go," Valen snapped, "Leave it."

"Okay, okay…" Obviously Valen had done something to piss Jance off royally, but Erol did as Valen told him.

Kaen, who hadn't really been concentrating too much, decided to change the conversation. "Valen? I have a request for you..."

"Shoot."

"I met the most interesting person today…"

"Yeah…?"  
"I'm going back tomorrow and I want you to come." With any luck, that Razer fellow wouldn't know who to look at…

"Okay, sure. Why me?"

"Because I wasn't particularly fond of how he was looking at my husband."

Valen gave her a blank look, then shrugged. "Okay, whatever."

Erol decided not to say anything, though it would he interesting to hear how Valen reacted to the other man.

Later that night, while Kaen was sitting and reading by her fireplace, she heard the faint sounds of Jance's guitar. It seemed like an invitation to her, so she got up and went to his room, pausing outside the door to listen for a moment. Her heart was breaking for him. After a moment of listening, she knocked on the door.

"Come in," he said, the guitar not even pausing as he spoke.

Kaen pushed the door open and went inside. "Hey."

"Hey," he barely glanced up.

She sat down beside him. "I've gathered you and Valen had a spat."

"Yeah…"

"Kyra again?"

He nodded.

"He's telling you to let her go, right?"

Again he nodded.  
"You know, you should."

"I know." His voice was quiet.

"But I don't think you could."

"I can't."

"Then don't."

He sighed, not replying immediately, focusing on the song for the moment.

"Pretend for a moment that you hadn't attacked her. If you and her were still together…what would you want?"

"To be with her…forever…"

"Marry her? Kids? Be the supporter? Protector? Not a monster?"

He nodded, blinking back tears and he stopped playing until he regained his composure.

"Thought so. It's amazing the power of love," she mused.

"And now…it'll never happen." His voice was choked.

"I wouldn't say that so soon. Don't give up hope on love. Hold on to it."  
"Now you're just giving me mixed messages."

"How so?" she asked mildly.

"When you came in here you were telling me to let her go; now…you're saying the opposite."

"I said you _should_, just like I _should_ have let go of Erol after he died. What I was trying to say is you _won't_ be able to let her go. So stop trying. Give it up – it's fruitless."  
"Oh…"

"I thought you needed to hear that from someone. To not show it, but to not let it go."

"Thanks. It's a heck of a lot better than how Valen was attempting to deal with it."

"Valen hasn't ever been loved back."

Jance nodded slowly, "It's sad…"

"He'll find it eventually. Someone out there will at some point want him."

"There's someone out there for everyone."

"Yep. Except for Cayden."

"He's not looking."

"That's why. Valen, on the other hand…After Erol married me…He gave up. It's really quite sad."

Jance sighed, "Weird as it sounds, particularly because of how Erol is now and how he used to be before hooking up with you, I think if Val had actually _tried_ to win Erol when they were younger…Erol might not have ever been interested in you."

"That's slightly creepy."

"Yeah, but that's just what I think. I don't know if it actually could've happened."

"I'll suggest it tonight and see what Erol thinks."

"Go for it."

"Right. Well, are you feeling any better?"

He managed a weak grin, "Actually, yes."

"That's good." She stood up. "I'm going to take my leave then. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah, talk to you later." Jance said before going back to his guitar. He felt like a weight had been removed from his shoulders.

Kaen headed back to her room in search of her husband. After Jance had suggested this strange, unspoken teenaged half-crush, she'd wanted to know if it was true.

Erol was in their room, he looked up as she entered. "Hey sweetheart. Where'd you go?"

"To go see your brother. We had a nice chat. And now I have a question..."

"Okay, shoot."

"It's rather odd. Your brother suggested it and now I want to know if it had any merit."

"Oh god. What?"

"Well, he said that if Valen _had_ tried anything when you were teenagers, you wouldn't have exactly resisted his advances..."

"And this stemmed from _what_?"

"You mean in the conversation or how he came to that conclusion?"

"Um...Both."

"Well, we were talking about Valen and how he's never had someone love him back. Then you came into the conversation. And I think your brother is quite under the impression you were bi when you were younger. Not exactly sure about how he got to that point. I was simply wondering if it had any merit."

"Ah..."

"So... Does it?"

Erol said nothing for a moment, thinking it over. "Possibly."

Kaen bit her lower lip to keep from laughing. "That's interesting... Ever told Valen that?"

"God no!"

"I have to say, this is really quite amusing... However, if I find out that secretly, all along, you've been cheating on me with my shrink..."

Erol gave her an utterly horrified look. "I would not."

"Just checking!"

"You just have to look at him to know there's nothing going on." Erol couldn't really believe that he was even having this conversation.

"Okay. I was simply wondering whether Jance was on to something or not."

"Maybe when we were teens. _Maybe_."

"So I don't have to worry?"

"Not at all."

"Good. That means the only problem left to solve is Valen."

"What about him?"

"Haven't you noticed he's the only one who hasn't had anyone to hook up with?" She smiled. "I'm planning on changing this."

"Really?" Erol asked skeptically.

"Yes, really. Don't have such little trust in me. I'll solve this problem quickly and smoothly enough... _if_ your adolescent love doesn't get in the way."

"There was no love! A short term very hidden infatuation maybe, but no love." Hang on...Had he just said that out loud? That was awkward...

"Well that's sort of weird... So you _did_ have a crush on him..."

"I did not have a crush!" Erol could feel his cheeks starting to heat up. God dammit...

"You're losing Erol."

He glared at her, now a bright red.

"You look funny when you blush. It's like you coordinated your hair and face to match."

"Thanks for that..."

"You're very welcome. Are you irritated at me now for asking too many questions about your childhood love life?"

"Slightly."

"Good. My work here is done."

"Did you discuss anything else with my brother?"

"Kyra."

"Ah..."

"Yeah… Never before have I felt so lucky."

Erol nodded slowly, the redness already leaving his cheeks.

"It's killing him, but I think he's working on getting over it. Not her, but the whole fiasco. He'll never get over Kyra."

"He won't, not by a long shot. Of course, if he can make it through this, he'll be able to make it through anything."

"Jance is a survivor - his time in jail proved that." She yawned and stretched. "Now, I think I'm going to turn in. The back pain has begun."

Erol gave her an extremely sympathetic look.

She smiled at him. "It'll all be over in a few months and everything will go back to normal. Except the fact we'll be parents."

"Except for that one _miniscule_ detail." It seemed backwards to him. She wasn't supposed to be the one doing the reassuring.

"Yeah, well, it could be worse. Provided I don't _die_ during childbirth, we'll just learn to adjust."

"I don't see you dying..."

She shrugged. "Women in my family aren't particularly well suited for bearing children. Fine bones or something like that."

"Oh." That couldn't be good.

"Yep. Well, anyway, I'm going to sleep. You coming or no?"

"Yeah, I'm coming."

"Good." And with that, Kaen headed for their room, about ready to pass out where she stood.


	12. Chapter Eleven

Alright, so... Chapter eleven. Kaen, Valen and Jance (if he's mentioned) belong to us. Knives are mine. Everyone else is Naughty Dog's.

Onwards!

* * *

Erol opened his eyes slowly, groaning at the bright light that met them. He _really_ didn't feel much like getting up. One arm was, as usual, draped over his wife and he attempted to sit up without disturbing her too much.

Kaen was already awake. "Morning," she said, looking up at him through barely opened eyes.

"Morning," he leaned over and kissed her. "How're you feeling?"

"Good enough, considering it's morning. And yourself?"

He shrugged, "Been better."

She sat up. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Doubtful."

"What's wrong?"

"Just tired."

"Racing wearing you out?"

"Yes actually." It was stressful, not to mention the imminent threat of death if he didn't win.

"Thought so. It'll be fine, as long as I don't come and watch."

He laughed, "That was _not_ your fault."

"It sort of was. I mean, was my being in the stands coincidence or would Arbner have left you alone if I hadn't shown up?"

"I think my brakes were cut well before you were coming." He really wanted to just go back to sleep...

"Oh, well then I guess it wasn't my fault." She lay back down. "I think I'm going back to sleep."

"I wish I could."

"You could take the day off. I'm sure Torn and Ashelin can manage without you."

"They're worse than I am."

"And you're one of the best. Take the day off. It's obvious you need a break."

It was too tempting and Erol lay back down. He hoped it was just the stress of racing getting to him and not something else, like the poison…

"We have really bad luck, don't we?"

"Sometimes."

"Most of the time."

"True, but we could be stuck like Jance too, so, we could be worse off."

"Point. I think you've actually beat me on a topic."

"Ha." He sighed, closing his eyes. "God I'm tired."

"Same. Let's just get some more sleep."

"Agreed," he said putting his arm back around her.

Kaen smiled, then closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

Erol lay there, he would have to get up eventually, but not right then. It was only a minute or so before he too was asleep again.

--

About three hours later, Kaen reawoke. Her internal body clock knew that it was time for her to head down to the bar for some investigating. She yawned, stretched the best she could with Erol's arm around her, and sat up.

The movement woke Erol up, "Hey."

"Hey. Isn't it a lovely afternoon?"

"What?!" He sat up, "Shit."

"Harsh language so soon? They'll survive without you."

"I had a race earlier, dammit."

"Harsh language. It'll be fine. I still need to get to work, however, so I'd best get up."

"I might as well too. Why'd you let me do that?"

"Because you needed to _sleep_. You'll have an easier time racing if you're not asleep on your feet."

He sighed, she was right and he knew it.

She kissed his cheek, then got out of bed. "Well, time to go investigate. And see Valen's reaction."

"Can't wait to hear about it."

"The reaction or the news?"

"Both."

"Okay. Well, I'll be sure to report back to you. Promise to take it easy, alright?"

"Alright, fine, I promise."

She grinned at him, then went and got ready for the day ahead.

--

Less than an hour later, Kaen and Valen were making their way to said bar, the psychologist grumbling all the way. He didn't seem to grasp _why_ he was being dragged down to somewhere where he _might_ have to be social.

"Oh, shut it Val! If you keep this up, I'll take some alcohol and shove it down your throat. Got it?" Kaen snapped as she opened the door and pushed him inside.

"Unfortunately."

She sighed, then dragged him over to her usual spot and sat down. He'd get over it eventually.

Razer had noticed the two enter, one was from the woman from the previous day, but the other, the other was definitely a newcomer. He walked over to where they sat. "I remember you from yesterday." He said to Kaen as he took a seat.

"No, of course you don't." Kaen was waiting for Valen to do something, but it still seemed like he was looking the other direction.

"So, what brings you here again?" Pity that the blue haired man seemed so uninterested in interaction...

"Boredom. The need to leave the hotel. To drag Valen outside of his room." She pointed to her friend. "As you can see, he's decided to ignore me."

"Rather antisocial is he?"

"Yep. More disdainful than antisocial though." She poked the psychologist. "You're being weird again."

He didn't respond.

It really was a pity that he wouldn't say anything and Razer lit up a cigarette, attempting to ignore the other man.

"Anyway, moving on from my weird little friend…"

"I resent that!" Valen finally turned to face her, looking slightly annoyed. "Must you insult _along_ with dragging me out on your little wanderings?"

Kaen just smiled at him.

Razer raised an eyebrow, "My, my, someone's got a bit of a temper don't they?"

He shrugged, "With her around, you sort of have too." He said it carelessly, as if he didn't really care what the other man thought of him, but a fairly faint blush had managed to appear on his cheeks.

Well _that_ was interesting. "I see."

"Yeah."

Kaen bit her bottom lip and actually had to turn away to keep from laughing. It looked like Valen had a new crush…

Razer took a careless drag on his cigarette, giving Valen a calculating look. He was _cute_.

Valen knew he was blushing. He knew it was growing worse with every passing second. What had gotten into him? He turned away from the other two again, hoping the redness would disappear from his cheeks. Better yet, that he would just sink into the floor instead.

Cute and easily embarrassed it seemed. Razer turned back to Kaen, deciding to 'ignore' the other man, "You were saying?"

"Nothing of any real importance. Mostly just insulting Val into talking. So anyway, I have a few questions…"

"Such as...?"

"Well, they're fairly odd I was wondering what the criminal activity in Kras is? Just…for business purposes."

"You're a bit late if you're planning on getting anywhere into the crime business here. Mizo controls just about everything, and everyone."

"I don't need this city - the one I already have is trouble enough. I was just wondering."

"You said you were with the new drivers, correct?"

"Yep. Why?"

"My boss considers them a threat, they're a wild card. Particularly that redhead you were with yesterday. If they're not careful, they won't be making off the track except in a body bag."

She stiffened. "Erol's a good racer, from what I've seen so far. Course, I'm not allowed to actually _watch_ him anymore…"

Valen snickered.

"Erol? The racer from Haven?" Razer couldn't hide his surprise.

"Yeah. The orange hair is sort of a tip off…"

"I thought he blew up."

"He did. Then he came back. Then he blew up again. Then he came back. And now we're here."

Razer blinked, "I think you need to see a psychologist..."

She pointed at Valen. "He's right there. Not my fault my family has a sick sense of humor…"

Valen turned back to face them. "Crime in Haven is a bit twisted, if you can't tell. Kaen's family is probably the worst of the lot..."

"I've been to Haven a few times actually."

"What did you think?"

Razer shrugged, "Cold."

"Well, I suppose that's one way of looking at it."

"Indeed it is." He took another drag on the cigarette.

Valen found his face going slightly red once more, which forced him to turn away again. What had gotten into him?

"You're really not very social, are you?" Razer asked, he wasn't about to leave Valen alone again, not after having got him talking for a few minutes.

"No, not really. Sort of difficult when you work with people all the time."

"I can imagine."

"Can you?" Valen forced himself to look at the other man again.

"I can."

"How so? You don't strike me as the shy type for some reason."

"I'm not. But I can imagine that it would make things...difficult for you."

"Point."

Razer sat there, looking at Valen, wondering how long it would be before he turned away again, and how red he would turn before he did.

Not blushing was becoming an extremely uphill battle for the psychologist. His nature was being horribly habitual and he kept wanting to look into Razer's eyes. It wasn't out of any sort of attraction - it was simply what he did when he met a new person. Unfortunately, the very idea of this made his coloring even worse. There seemed to be no way out.

Kaen just sat there and tried not to laugh. Her friend was certainly an odd duck sometimes.

Razer found the whole thing highly amusing, and had to try and keep his condescendingly amused smirk from his face.

Valen felt like he wanted to punch something…_hard_. This wasn't like him at all! It made absolutely no sense!

Razer casually put out the cigarette, watching Valen with his piercing green eyes the whole time.

Kaen got up and walked away. If Valen actually did end up hitting someone, she wanted to watch from a safe distance.

"So, are you going to say anything else, or just sit there staring at me?" Razer asked offhandedly.

"I'm not very skilled at small talk." He hadn't realized he was staring.

"I'd gathered." Razer suddenly gave him an odd look, "Is your natural colour blonde?"

"Yep. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Oh. Well that's not very interesting."

"I'm afraid I'm not particularly interesting."

"I beg to differ. I'm having a very hard time trying to pin down your personality."

"Are you?"

"I very rarely lie."

"I wasn't suggesting that you were. It was merely a comment." Valen seemed easily flustered...it was interesting. "You seem to have a different personality too."

"How so?"

"You're hard to gauge, and seem to be hiding something."

Valen grinned. "What would make you say that?"

Razer looked at him, "I'm not sure."

"My, that's specific. Anyway, _everyone's_ hiding something. You can always see it in their eyes."

"Can you? If that's the case, what am I hiding?"

Valen stared straight into Razer's eyes, searching and staring. As he looked, he talked, "You're a very insecure person, but you put on a false face that makes you look secure and sure of yourself. When you were a teenager, you had a lot of problems with your parents because they were homophobic and you weren't - aren't - exactly straight. Correct?"

"Hmm, you're good at that."

"Yeah. I'm sort of a freak that way." Valen pulled his eyes away before too much more information crowded his brain. "Sorry if I offended."

Razer waved it off. "I told you to."

"I know. That's why I told you aloud."

"You know...you have interesting eyes. I'm not sure what you're hiding, I've got no idea, but they're interesting."

"Thank you. If you can read my eyes, you'd be the first. Of course, I was rather surprised by how well you've managed to hide most of your skeletons…"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What'd you mean? The skeleton thing?"

"Yes, the skeleton thing. I'm unfamiliar with the terminology."

"It means secrets within your past. Skeletons in your closet? The dirty things you don't want people to ever find out. We've all got them - I just listed some of yours, though I don't think those were the worst."

"Ah," Razer didn't say anything for a moment. "They weren't the worst, no, but you did find some of the ones I try harder to forget."

"I have that tendency. I've made a few enemies that way."

"I see. I can imagine you would, not many people are as willing as I am to let a complete stranger in on their deepest secrets."

"Willing? Most are not even aware of it. Funny what you don't notice when you don't want to. But then, that's one of the complexities of the mind. And I am really sorry for the psycho babble."

Razer shrugged, "It's got you talking."

"Are you so sure you want me to talk?"

"It's better than awkward silence."

"Again, a true point. Where did Kaen go?"

Razer glanced around, spotting her on the other side of the bar, "She's over there."

"What the hell is she doing over there?" Valen couldn't quite figure out why she was staying so far away. If this was one of her elaborate schemes to make him uncomfortable, why wasn't she there to enjoy it?

Kaen just smiled and waved.

"Maybe she wanted space," or maybe she'd wanted to give _them_ space, either way, Razer wasn't complaining.

Val shrugged. "She's a mystery to even me."

"I don't doubt it."

"It's odd not seeing into someone's head. Like looking at what's obviously a window and finding it opaque."

"Is that how you find her?"

"Sometimes. There _are_ times where she's an open book, but they're few and far between. It makes me…"

"It makes you...?"

"I'm not totally sure how to describe it. I'm not very skilled with words."

"Try." This was getting interesting.

"Troubled, certainly." He bit his lip in concentration. "After the kind of past she had, she could snap at any moment. So therefore, I have a certain amount of guilt for knowing that, because I can't see into her mind, people could die. Her loss of control is harder to predict than mine… And then she'll go into these… moods I don't know…"

Razer put a hand on Valen's shoulder, "You're the kind of person who blames yourself for other people's hang ups...at least partially. It's never your fault."

"Never is a strong word."

"Too strong? I think not."

"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

"Possibly."

Valen gave him a funny look. "That's very odd."

"It is, isn't it?"

"Quite. Like I said, I rarely lie."

"_That's_ odd. Just about everyone I know lies quite a lot."

"Obviously you haven't been unfortunate enough to run into someone like me."

"I'd hardly call it unfortunate."

"You're one of the first to say that." Valen felt the blush return.

"Am I now?" Razer's hand trailed down Valen's arm.

"Yep…" The psychologist watched the other man's hand carefully. What the hell was going on?!

He smirked slightly as he dropped his hand to the other man's thigh.

That was _it_. If there was one thing Val couldn't stand, it was a blatant invasion of personal space. His fist quickly managed to make contact with Razer's jaw. Hard.

Razer jerked his hand away, rubbing where Valen's hand had connected.

"If you haven't guessed, I actually _like_ personal space. Thank you for not ever doing that again." Valen got up and walked straight out of the bar, Kaen not far behind him.

Valen walked Kaen back to her room in silence, which she found extremely amusing. It was quite apparent he'd mostly moved on – his heart wasn't completely Erol's anymore. And that was a good thing, a very good thing. From the time they'd left the bar to when she entered her room, she couldn't stop snickering.

--

"Alright, spill, what happened?" Erol asked, seeing his wife.

"Valen, I believe, is in _love_."

"_Not_ with me?"

"With a different man entirely. Who, judging by _his_ behavior, wasn't exactly complaining about Val's being there…"

"Is this that guy from yesterday?"

"Yep. Very much so. And judging from both their behavior, I'd say there's a good chance of relationship."

"Good for them. This guy seem nice?"

"To me? Not really. To Val? He was making him feel better. Comforting him. It was _weird_."

Erol sighed, "No offense sweetheart, but how he treats you isn't priority. Sounds weird though, how was Val taking it?"

"Well, after Razer's hand dropped to Val's thigh…"

"Oh…I don't see _that_ going over well."

"There will be bruises."

"I can imagine. So, how're you doing?"

"Pretty good," She walked over and hugged him, "Now I'm better."

He rubbed his nose against her neck. "Glad to have helped," he replied, putting his arms around her gently.

"How are you doing?" She rested her head on his chest.

"Better."

"That's good. Did they survive out there? The others, I mean."

"Haven't heard yet. I think so."

"Good. I'm not sure I want you to die." She smiled. "Not when I'm the only one competing for your attention."

"Well…" Erol shifted a hand to her stomach, "Maybe not the _only_ one."

"Okay, your _romantic_ attention. I know I'm not the only one in that sense. Only four months – less now."

"I know." He hoped he'd still be there in four months.

"But since the baby's not born, you'll still come back."

"Are you sure about that? When you have it, then you'll have an heir and I'll no longer be needed."

"But it might be a stillborn."

"I hope not."

"I'm not planning on it. I wasn't particularly fond of the idea, but the idea's grown on me."

"What idea? Being a parent?"

"Parent, pregnant, your choice."

Erol resisted the urge to mention that pregnancy would have _grown_ on her whether she liked it or not. He brushed some hair away from her forehead and kissed her gently.

"Why can you always make me feel better?"

"Because it's what I'm good at."

"Thank god."

He kissed her again.

She kissed him back, pulling him closer to her.

He shifted his grip on her, lips pressing to hers again.

Her lips brushed his neck.

"Kaen," he murmured, returning the action.

"Yeah?"

"Should we be doing this?" But his lips tugged gently at her neck.

"Why not?"

"I don't know…" It seemed slightly wrong to him, but he continued on, kissing her again.

"That's a first."

"Isn't it?"

"It is." She kissed him.

His lips brushed her neck.

She smiled and kissed his cheek.

He rubbed his nose against her neck.

"Can I or we sit down? My back hurts."

"Of course," he let her go so she could move, "Is it bad?"

She found a chair and sat. "Depends on the time. I've been standing a lot. And now, I've gained a _lot_ of weight."

"Yet you're still as beautiful as ever."

Her cheeks flushed red.

He grinned at her.

"You enjoy making me blush, don't you?"

"I do. We've been over this before."

"Have we? Oh, I forgot. Hey can you do me a favor love?"

"Sure, what?"

"Chocolate?"

He laughed, "Alright." And he went to get some.


	13. Chapter Twelve

Okay, another update. Sorry it took so long. But in any case... Kaen and Valen are ours. Everyone and everything else belongs to Naughty Dog.

Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning, Kaen didn't get up until well past noon. There was no point – her back hurt less when she was asleep and there was nothing for her to do. Except to drag Valen out to the bar. When around three she decided that torturing Valen would be fun. A lot of fun. So she headed over to Valen's room and went inside.

"Valen? We're going again!" she said, peering inside the dark room. "Val?"

"I lost my meds."  
Kaen jumped at the sound. "You've what?"

"Lost my meds. Go away. Right now. Hurry off. Need my meds."

"Okay."

"Go away."

She did as he asked, then headed down to the bar. Time to ask for a little illegal activity…and now there was someone who might actually help her.

Razer saw her enter, "What, your little blue haired friend isn't with you today?" he asked, walking over.

"Not yet. Actually, if I don't get something right away he might not make much longer." She didn't say it was because he was going insane – Valen would never forgive her if she told anyone. Anyone meaning Razer.

"What's happened?" he sounded concerned.

"Personally either Valen just was being an idiot or someone's trying to kill him. In any case, I need to find a pharmacist who's corrupt enough to sell me extremely rare and expensive drugs. Know where I can find one?"

"Matter of face, I do." Gang life was certainly useful. "You got a piece of paper?"

She found one in her pocket, along with a pen. "Here you go." She handed it to him.

He scrawled out an address, "It's not cheap."

"Money is _not_ an issue."

"Even Mizo has trouble getting anything from this guy. Tell him I sent you, it _might _grease the wheels for you." He passed her the slip of paper.

"Thank you. With any luck, they'll have it. If not…" She shuddered. It would be hell.

Valen sat in his room, rocking back and forth and muttering to himself. Knives and brains. Bloody hot dogs. Rock dogs. Down, down, down.

He'd lost control.

Erol stared at the bottle he'd found. What the hell was it doing in his and Kaen's room? How had Valen's meds got there? He sighed, wondering how hard it was going to be to get his friend to take them again as he headed to the other man's room.

Where were they? The pills, controlling his mind. Stealing his sanity. Dark, danger. Death. Death by blue.

Erol knocked on the door, "Valen!"

The shrink looked up from his bed. "Come in!" he tried to say it as normally as possible.

"Val?" Erol walked into the dark room. "Are you okay?"

"Need my pills."

"I know. That's why I'm here."

Without warning, Valen lunged at Erol and knocked him down. "Where are they?"  
This wasn't normal, even when he was off his meds. "Here." Erol held out his hand as well as he could manage with Valen on top of him.

He snatched them away, then retreated into the bathroom to take around four of them. Then he reemerged. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Where's Kaen?"

"Back at the bar I think."

"Shit!" Valen took off out the door. What, he wondered, had she said to that guy at the bar?

Kaen walked back into the bar, swearing. They had had no antipsychotic drugs! What would Valen do now?

Razer was still in the bar when Kaen got back, sitting at a table, smoking calmly.

She was heading in his direction when she was suddenly hit from behind. Someone had run into her.

"Sorry," Valen said apologetically. "Lost control of my running."

"That's alright." She began to brush off her shirt. "You got the meds?"

"Erol found them. How, I don't know. All in all, I was pretty surprised I could still make _fairly_ coherent sentences."

"You are a very weird person Valen."

"I could say the same."

They lapsed into silence.

Razer had watched the whole exchange with an amused smirk.

"So, your world is stabilized?"

"Fairly. I'm not rhyming senselessly anymore. Not talking about those damn knives of yours."

"You're a funny schizophrenic."

The colour in Valen's face drained, leaving him deathly pale. "Kaen…" How could she? Would she? Why she? No, no – why she wasn't a sentence. Not a proper one. In the sun. Damn, now it was all in rhyme.

"Oh god Val… I'm sorry."

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Lit, catcher's mitt. He forced the rhyme from his mind. There were meds in him; it'd go away after a while. It _had_ to.

"I forgot…"

"It's no big deal Kaen." Deal, real…the real deal. But he was a lie! A lie, try, die. How long until the meds fully kicked in? At least they were talking quietly.

Razer got up, putting out his cigarette as he moved from the table, "Are you alright?" he asked, setting a hand gently on Valen's shoulder. The word schizophrenic stuck out in his mind from the conversation he'd been listening in on. So what if this delightfully intriguing man was schizophrenic?

"Um…" It was amazing how quickly Valen's face could regain color. "I _think_ so…"

"I'm glad."

He blinked. What was up with this guy? "Er… Thanks?"

Razer shrugged it off, 'thanks?' wasn't an answer he'd been expecting but whatever worked.

Kaen scootched away, finding it more amusing to watch them at a distance. Plus, Val might get really pissed about her spilling the whole schizophrenic thing…

"So, er…"

"Yes?"

"I dunno. That was one of those possible awkward silence moments."

Razer nodded, "I know the feeling."

Val managed a small grin. "I think everyone knows the feeling."

"I envy them if they don't."

"Indeed. I suppose people just get lucky, always drawing the long straw. They're probably the most likely to have skipped the whole awkward thing."

"Probably." Razer wouldn't have admitted it, but he found it rather strange to be standing in the middle of the bar holding a conversation.

"Sorry if this sounds really philosophical or something, but this world we live in is very vast and strange."

"It is indeed."

"And I'd also like to say, that bruise looks quite nasty."

"What? Oh..." he gave a noncommittal hand flick.

"Sorry about that…"

"It's fine." Admittedly it hurt, but it was a bruise, it would go away...eventually.

"Oh. Good."

"Do you want to go sit down, or are you content just standing here?"

"Sitting down is a nice thing." His head was beginning to hurt - a sign that the meds were finally kicking in.

Razer gestured to the many free tables, deciding to let Valen choose one.

Valen just randomly selected a table and sat down. The headache was getting worse and beautifully worse.

The other man sat down, instantly feeling more at ease, sitting and talking seemed much more normal somehow.

"So…"

"So."

He cast his mind around frantically. What was there to talk about? Why was Kaen leaving him in such an awkward situation?

Razer calmly pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"I have a strange question…"

"Yes?"

"Why do you smoke?"

Razer blinked, looked at Valen, the lit cigarette, back to Valen, at the cigarette again and back to Valen once more. "No idea. Nicotine addiction."

"I figured the last part. I was talking more about the strange desire to pick up the addiction. It's funny, but I have this issue in understanding the topic…"

"Started years ago, don't remember why..."

"Hmmm… Still remaining a mystery…"

Razer took a drag on the cigarette, blowing the smoke off to the side. "At the moment it seems to be one to me too...Probably some form of teen rebellion."

"Teenagers… Hmm, that _would_ make sense."

"Would it?"

"As far as I can tell. Teens who feel the need to rebel will go down one of two paths: act out or act in. It depends on the personality type… I don't know where you'd classify smoking though…"

"Could go either way really."

"I suppose. Again, the personality type."

"Is it bothering you?" Razer asked.

"What?"

"My smoking."

"Not really, as long as you don't blow smoke in my face. I was merely pondering…"

Razer nodded and took another drag.

"I hate being confused…"

"What's got you confused?"

"Life, you and smoking."

"I might be able to help with that second one," Razer smirked.

"How so?"

"What do you find confusing about me?"

"Too much. You don't act like most people I know, so there's a challenge in itself…"

"Ah. Well unless you give me something more specific to work with, I don't think I can help clarify anything."

"Again, another one of my faults. Hmm… I don't know. I'm sure I'll figure you out eventually." His eyes drifted back to Razer's, but quickly were drawn to the ground. It would be hard to figure out his secrets when it was impossible to worm them out in the first place.

"Afraid to find more skeletons?"

"I'm not afraid of skeletons. Not usually."

"But you're scared of mine?"

"No… The past doesn't scare me. It's the future I worry about."

"Interesting..."

"What's so interesting about it?"

"It's just interesting. Most people look forward to the future."

"I'm not most people, unfortunately."

"No, you're considerably more interesting to chat with than most people."

His face darkened a shade. "I suppose that could be considered a good thing."

"I'd call it one."

"Then I suppose I'll take it as one."

Razer nodded and put out his cigarette.

Valen closed his eyes and found that his headache was starting to go away. Finally he'd stabilized.

Razer glanced at one of the clocks in the bar in a disinterested manner.

"What time is it?"

"About six thirty. Why?"

"Just wondering. I had a…rough start this morning and kinda lost my sense of time for a while."

"What caused it?"

"Um… I think someone stole something of mine…"

"Medication?"

Valen's heart froze. "Umm… Yeah, actually. My meds."

Razer nodded, "Do you mind if I ask what it's for?"

"You sure you want to know the answer?" Most people stopped talking to him after they found out and Val wasn't sure he wanted this guy to ignore him for the rest of his life.

"Positive." He already knew, but it would probably be better if Valen knew that he knew.

"Fine," he sighed, "I'm a schizophrenic. Have been since I was six. Am actually totally nuts, unless I take my meds." There, he'd said it.

"That's got to be rough."

He shrugged. "Other than a few quirks, it's actually not too bad. Genius comes with a price and all that."

"It'd be rough for most people anyway. What sort of quirks?"

"Bad ones or good ones? Bad ones, I'm followed around by a creepy little kid that hates my guts. I have an obsessive compulsive with the color blue and am desperately afraid of sharp objects. Good ones, I have the possibly unique ability to look into people's past and sometimes predict their future."

Razer nodded, Valen just seemed more and more intriguing...

"So, yeah… This is the part you run away screaming."

"Oh." Razer just sat there, looking at him.

"What?"

"Did you actually _want_ me to run away screaming?"

"No, that's just what people generally do. Run away screaming bloody murder. A few people have actually pulled a gun on me, but that's just funny."

"You obviously know at least two people who haven't done that sort of thing."

"Three haven't run away screaming because they didn't find out until after we were friends. Everyone else is either scared of me or the people I work with."

"I suppose that's good to know. People tend not to appreciate my presence too much because of who I work for."

"It's stereotypical."

"Very."

"Oh well. At least people end up leaving you alone. If that's what you want that is."

"Sometimes, sometimes not."

"I guess it does depend… What's your ratio?"

"My ratio? About sixty-six to thirty-four for being social."

"Nice."

"Of course few people want to tolerate me that much."

"Why? You're not irritating."

"I've got a bit of a reputation for being...violent on occasion."

"Violent? As in, kill people that irritate you?"

"Not quite. But I'm the deadliest one on the track, sometimes it comes across in my...personality."

"Oh. So you're not going to kill me?"

"Why would I? Even if you were irritating me I wouldn't."

"I dunno."

"I've also had involvement with the darker side of crime in the past; people tend to be _very_ wary around me."

"Ah. Darker meaning what?"

"You name it; I've probably had a hand in it at least once."

"Oh… Killed your family?"

Razer pulled a face, "Not necessarily crime."

"Just thought I'd ask."

"Fair enough."

"Fair is a good thing. I wish life was more like that."

"But if life was fair there'd be no winners, which would put people like me out of a career."

"True point. But I have a question - if you're supposed to be racing, how come you seem never to leave here?"

"I'm retired."

"And _how_ old are you?"

"Thirty-one."

"And you're retired?"

"Yes."

"That's another unfair thing right there."

Razer smirked.

Valen just rolled his eyes.

"What can I say? Championships bring in a lot of money."

"Don't you do it for more than the money?"

"Naturally. I love the sport."

"You and Erol are both crazy."

Razer flicked his hand, "You mean the Haven racer? Amateur."

"Don't let him here you say that. Or Kaen either - she might kill you. They're both very odd that way. Anyway, ever met him?"

"Never really spoken to him. He came and left with that woman you seem to hang around with, but otherwise...no."

"Ah yes. I bet he was rather irritated by you talking to her… He's quite jealous when it comes to his wife, especially now that she's pregnant. Erol's been my best friend for years. Since I was eight."

"That's quite a while to know someone..."

"Yeah. It is quite a while."

"So, am I correct in assuming that he's another one who hasn't run away from you screaming?"

"Correctly assumed."

Razer produced another cigarette and lit it.

"How many of those do you go through a day?!"

"About a pack and a half, sometimes two."

"That's probably horrible for your lungs. You do realize that, don't you?"

"I do. But I'm not as bad as most people."

"I'm confused now."

"Most people smoke each one to the filter about three packs a day. I don't."

"Oh…That makes more sense. Thank you for clearing up at least one thing."

"Anytime."  
Valen rolled his eyes.

Razer glanced around, "That woman you were with is gone."

"Is she?" The psychologist scanned the bar. Kaen had indeed left – left _him_ alone in a very awkward situation. "She's probably got to go hang out with Erol. Or Jance, but I doubt it." Part of him wanted to leave, part of him didn't. So he contented himself with staring at the door.

Razer sighed and put out the barely smoked cigarette.

And, for some reason he couldn't exactly pin down, Valen started snickering. Then stopped abruptly, slamming his hands to his mouth and turning a furious shade of red.

"Well…that was random…"

"Not if you're following my train of thought…" His face went even darker. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Razer rolled his eyes.

"Sorry…"

"Whatever."

For the first time in the past hour, Valen forced himself to once more look at Razer. He thought, again for some unknown reason, that it would be a good time to pick through the other man's memories. So he did, pulling out experience after experience, cringing at some and grinning at others. It was like watching a movie – in a way, it sort of was. Finally, he looked away.

"So what'd you find that time?"

"Stuff."

"My, my, you're specific."

"Do you actually want examples? They're _your_ memories…"

"I'd like to know what you've found out about me."

"I was looking mostly in your past… Like past past. The one that stood out most…" he stopped, disgusted at the memory.

"Go on…"

"You were chained to a flagpole all night after being beaten up by a huge group of boys. Not too long later, your parents disowned you when you came out of the closet. You were with your boyfriend."

"Ah…those times…" Razer, for once, looked away.

"God, I shouldn't have done that…" Valen put his hand gently, and tentatively, on Razer's arm.

Razer glanced back, not quite able to hide his pained expression.

"If it makes you feel better, it's in the past."

The other man shrugged and attempted to wave it off. "It was years ago…"

"Time can be an illusion."

"True."

"And, bringing this in a full circle, the truth is a good thing."

"Indeed it is."

Valen stood up. "I should probably get out of your hair." Well any relationship possibilities were out the window.

Razer stood as well, "So, see you later then?"

"Still not running away screaming?"

"No."

"Sure then. See you later." And, feeling considerably better, Valen walked away.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Alright... So... Chapter Thirteen...

Normal disclaimer, knives are mine. Erol, Razer and Torn are Naughty Dog's. Jance, Valen and any other mentioned OCs are ours.

On with the story.

* * *

Erol had just come back from one of the late races and he'd been expecting Kaen to be at the bar as she'd seemed to be the past few days. He was pleasantly surprised when she wasn't and was in fact back in their room. "Hey sweetheart."

"Hey love. How'd it go?"

"Pretty well. You're not at the bar."

"No. I couldn't watch."

"Couldn't watch what?"

"Valen and Razer."

"Ah." He nodded, "So how was it going?"

"I give them to week's end."

"Nice. How are you doing?"

"Pretty well. And yourself?"

He shrugged.

"You're specific."

"Aren't I?"

"You are."

Erol sat next to her and put an arm around her, kissing her cheek, "Do you _want_ specifics? I could go on a while."

"I would like that, if you want. As long as you don't leave me here."

He sighed, "I'm not leaving you. I never thought I say this, but…I'm getting sick of racing."

"That's a first. Too much? Too hard?"

"Both."

"Again a first." She curled up against him. "I'm not exactly complaining though."

He nuzzled her, unsure what to say.

She kissed his cheek. "It'll be okay. With any luck, Razer won't race."

"Hopefully…" one hand dropped to her stomach as he kissed her.

"It won't be a problem." She kissed him back.

He rubbed his nose against her neck.

She kissed the tip of his nose. "You are a weird person."

"I know. You're not exactly normal yourself."

"No, I'm not. I'm extremely messed up. Not not normal. Just messed up with a split personality."

"And yet, I'm still madly in love with you."

She blushed, "You're mad. Mad, but insanely sweet. Hence the 'madly' in love. Not that I can talk…"

He grinned and kissed her again.

Her lips pressed to his neck. "What would I do without you?"

"No idea," his lips brushed hers.

She pulled him closer, enjoying his kiss.

He nipped gently at the base of her neck, tightening his arms around her.

"You're a scandal. And fairly random."

"Yeah, I know."

"You astound me."

He smirked, "I thought I'd be predictable by now."

"Yay! You answered differently!"

He grinned, "Don't expect me to keep it up." And he kissed her again.

"I won't, I'll enjoy it while it lasts."

Erol nuzzled her gently.

She kissed his forehead.

"You're right you know."

"In what? Other than everything?"

"No matter what we start talking about, we almost always end up doing this."

"This is true. Are you complaining?"

"No."

"Good." She kissed him again.

He returned the action.

"Do me a favor love?" She rested her head on his shoulder. "Just a little one?"

"Name it." He had a good idea what it was.

"Chocolate?"

He laughed and kissed her forehead, "Alright." He slid his arms from her and stood up.

"Thank you." She smiled at him, "I definitely need some."

He walked over to their kitchenette and retrieved a bar of chocolate before heading back to his wife. "Here you are sweetheart."

She took it and began to eat it, "Mmm…craving."

He sat down again, "Better?"

"Much. Not that I wasn't good in the first place, but chocolate is happy."

"Glad to have helped."

She grinned and took another bite.

He reached over and twirled a lock of her hair around his fingers.

Her head went back to rest on his shoulder. "We'll get through this, I know we will."

"I hope so."

"So do I. So do I."

He stroked her hair and sighed.

Kaen just closed her eyes and went to sleep.

--

The next day, Kaen woke up in her own bed, not quite sure how she'd got there. Erol was nowhere in sight, which meant it was past one. With a sigh, she got up and got ready for the day. Another long, long day.

Jance finally decided to emerge from his room; he limped over to Kaen and Erol's room and knocked.

"Come in!"

He opened the door and entered, "Hey."

"Oh, hello Jance. How are you?"

How was he? About ready to collapse. He shrugged, "Alive and moving. You?" He'd started feeling sick a couple days before and the feeling had only intensified, but there was no need to bring it up. It'd pass…eventually.

"Good enough. I'm living breathing, not poisoned. I can't complain."

Jance nodded, "That's good. Be glad you're not poisoned. It sucks. How's Erol handling it?"

"He's tired of the racing bit, but other than that he's taking it well. I don't think he wants to die again, mostly because I'm pregnant, but he's otherwise good."

"So he doesn't have any sort of...I dunno...side effects?"

"Not that I can tell. Why? Do you?"

"I guess not."

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head, "It's nothing."

"Jance. Tell me."

He sighed, "I'm just not feeling good."

"Maybe the poison just was worse for you."

"I don't see how."

"You're skinny, already fairly ill and your immune system might be shot. I don't really know."

"What's skinny got to do with anything?" Not that it'd be changing any time soon…

"Not as much fat and other crap? And you don't eat very much. When _was_ the last time you ate?"

"Um..." He had to think about that. "The day I broke up with Kyra." Again, that wouldn't be changing any time soon.

"JANCE! Go into my kitchenette and get something to eat. _Now_."

He shook his head.

"You'll die!"

He gave her a pained look. "I can't eat."

"Why not?"

"Everything comes back up."

"Oh… Can you drink anything?"

Again he shook his head, "Not much."

"Enough to survive?"

"Water."

"Alright then," she nodded slowly, "Then we can't do anything more."

"That's what I'd figured."

"Very well then. Anything else I can do to make you feel better?"

Jance shrugged, "I dunno."

"That's not very helpful."

"Sorry."

"It's alright. You didn't do anything wrong." She smiled. "So, anything you want to talk about?"

He managed a weak grin. "You sound like Valen when you ask that."

"Well someone has to fill in for him."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He doesn't hang around all that much anymore. If it makes you feel better, he won't always be on your case."

"Slightly better."

"Well, that's better than nothing. He won't be bugging you from now on I think."

"At all? That seems unlikely. What's he up to?"

"It's quite funny actually…"

"Come on tell me."

"I met this guy at the bar a few days ago…"

"I have the strangest feeling that I know where this is going. You decided to play matchmaker, didn't you?"

"I didn't really… It just so happened they seem _very_ interested in each other…"

"But you introduced them, or something to that extent."

"Sort of… Val was being extremely anti social. Razer pulled him out of his shell. Val turned a dark shade of red. And that's all there is to it."

"Nice."

"I know, isn't it? Now he can't harp on you cause he understands what it's like!" Kaen looked oddly triumphant.

Jance actually grinned, before it turned into a cringe and he clutched his stomach, grimacing.

"Need to puke?"

"Maybe..." He brought a hand up to his mouth as he said it.

"Just please do it in the bathroom."

He lowered his hand slowly, taking a breath to steady himself. "I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"Very well then. Since your brother is gone, can you do me a favor?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, "What?"

"Chocolate in the kitchen?"

"Okay..." he left and came back with some, "This chocolate?"

"Yes…" She took it and began her usually munching. "Thank you."

He nodded, "You're-" he grimaced again, "You're welcome."

"You _sure_ you're going to be okay?"

He shook his head.

"Go throw up in the bathroom if that's what you need. If not, please tell me if there's anything I can do."

He was about to answer when his stomach clenched and he thought it best to listen to her.

Kaen laughed. Even when everyone she knew was about to die, things could still be funny. That was a comfort.

When Jance came back from the bathroom he was shaking and muttering about "Not having anything in him to throw up on."

"You're a very queer person sometimes."

"How so?"

"I dunno. I guess I just messed up your head while you were in prison."

"What did I do that gave you this conclusion?" He couldn't think of anything strange he'd done.

"I don't know. It just came to me."

He shrugged and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall.

"Tired?"

"Kinda."

"That sucks. This must be the poison's fault."

"Must be." He shifted and brought his knees up to his chest, resting his head on them.

"It'll all be over soon, one way or another."

"Yeah..." A shudder ran up his spine.

"Yeah."

He curled up tighter.

"It'll be alright Jance. I know it will."

"I hope you're right. I really do." He shuddered again.

"I'm always right."

Erol opened the door and walked in, he didn't look overly pleased about something. "Hey Kaen," he didn't see his brother right away.

"Hey Erol," she replied. "What's up with you?"

"We're down to two racers."

"How so? What happened?"

"Torn. He took a corner too sharply, now he's out. His shoulder's in pieces again."

She snickered. It wasn't funny that they were down a racer, but since it was _Torn_ and it was his _shoulder_… "Who else?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said _two_ racers."

"We're down to two. We only had three to start with."

"That's bloody great," Jance muttered.

Erol jumped, "Oh, hey Jance."

"Wow. You're observant."

Erol shrugged, "What's he doing here?"

"We were talking. About life mostly. And how he hasn't eaten since he and Kyra broke up."

"_What_?! Jance!"

"I can't. Just drop it. It's nothing." Jance muttered.

"That's not _nothing_!"

"I said drop it Erol!"

"I've been watching him - he _can't_ eat. The toxins in the wine you drank must be affecting him worse than the rest of you."

"I see..." Erol said, speaking to his wife but looking at his brother.

"We need to win this Erol. I'm sorry for stating the obvious, but we really have to."

"I know. If we lose..."

"We die." Jance snapped.

"And I'm out a husband, two best friends and a very annoying commander."

"But you'll still have Valen." Erol said, in an almost joking manner.

"Not for much longer. And, call it favoritism; I'd rather have you over him."

Erol grinned, "I feel needed. So, does that mean that he and Razer are getting along?"

"I _think_ so… If Valen doesn't start past delving, all should go as planned."

"You think there's stuff there that Val shouldn't be looking for?"

"No, just that it offends people. Then again, if Razer's not man enough to take it… Personally, he sort of offends me, but Val seems to really like him…"

"If Val likes him that's all that really matters, isn't it?"

"I suppose so. However, if we end up having to see him _every_ holiday or something…"

Erol laughed.

Jance took that opportunity to head back to the bathroom...

Kaen watched her brother-in-law go. "But that aside, we need to win. I would probably pull another 'go into the afterlife' stunt if you died again. After I had the kid, of course."

"I keep telling you I'm not worth that. Besides, do you really want someone else to raise it? Like Cayden? Or Valen?"

"Ha ha ha - no. I'd give the kid to Ripp and Leeta."

"Hmm...I still can't really think of Ripp as anything but the kid I used to watch."

"I know, but he's grown up now. As have you. Torn I'm not so sure about…"

"Torn grew up when Ripp was born. He had to."

"In one way, I'm sure. However, his reaction to my drug dealing is completely irrational! For some reason he thinks it's bad…"

"Sweetheart, it _is_ bad. He's just the one who has to deal with it. If I were still commander, I'd be obligated to try and do something about it too."

"But I don't think you'd actually stop me. And the drug dealing _is_ good - it puts food on our table and money in our wallets."

"Because, god knows, we don't have enough."

Jance reentered and resumed his position on the floor.

"You okay now Jance?"

He shook his head.

"You should go lie back down."

"Maybe..." He sat there tracing patterns in the carpet with his finger.

Erol looked at him, "You're really not looking good Pick-flip."

Jance shrugged.

"Can you force him to lie down Erol?"

He nodded. "I'll try." He walked over to his brother, "Come on Jance." He held out his hand. Jance grabbed it and let Erol haul him to his feet. "Be right back," Erol told his wife as he dragged his brother from their room.

"Right," she said, closing her eyes and taking a bite of chocolate.

Erol came back and sat next to her, staring off into space. As if there wasn't already enough pressure on him...

Kaen wrapped her arms around him. "It'll be okay. You'll do great. You're the best."

He hugged her back, "Now I'm worried about Jance though...He's _really_ out of it."

"Jance's been through worse. We can keep him alive until you win. That's not a problem."

"I don't know if you'd be saying that if you'd felt him. I think he burned me."

"That hot?"

Erol nodded, "Yeah."

"That can't be good."

"No, no it can't..."

"You know… I'm actually kind of scared."

"About what? There's a lot to be scared about at the moment."

"Everything. For you, for Jance, for everyone."

He rubbed his nose against her neck unsure what to say to that. How was he supposed to reassure her if he was scared about the same things?

--

Razer hadn't actually expected Valen to turn up again, not after the previous day's events. Needless to say, he'd been pleasantly surprised when the psychologist came back.

"Hi. I was bored, so I came back and probably, inevitably will ruin your day, not too unlike yesterday."

"You didn't ruin my day."

"Really? That's a first."

"Is it now?"

"Must I really repeat that truth line?"

"No. Do you want to sit down?"

"Sure." He sat down across from him.

Razer sighed internally at Valen's chosen seat, "So…how're you?"

"Decent enough I suppose. Sure, we're all gonna die, but that's no big deal. You?"

He shrugged, "Can't complain." Part of Valen's sentence registered with him, "What do you mean you're all going to die?"

"Oh, Krew decided to poison us all with a bottle of wine and we'll die within the next two months. Our chances got even worse today, cause Torn ripped his shoulder out. But it's no big deal."

"Hang on. You're _poisoned_?"

"Not me, I can't drink. However, _someone's_ out to get me and they're doing a damn good job. And if they die and I got back to Haven, I'll be ground into tiny pieces. Possibly by hand."

"How many people are left racing?" Razer asked. He'd heard that Krew's team was small and if they were now down a racer…

"Two. We're all going to die." He grinned. "Which, the more I think about it, would be really funny."

It wouldn't be funny at all. "Two?! You guys expect to win with just _two_ competitors?!"

"No, I don't expect us to win. But we just have to try; it's all we can do in the end."

"That's true. You know, I'm nearly tempted to join up with you…"

Valen blinked, "What?!"

"I'm almost tempted to join up with you." What in the world did Valen think he'd said? It sounded like they could use the help.

"Sorry if I sound sort of shocked. People don't usually help us."

Razer nodded slowly and pulled out a cigarette.

Valen rolled his eyes.

Razer ignored him and lit it.

Valen just sat there for a moment, deciding to flick through the other man's memories for a moment. Where along the times had the addiction started? It was, in his opinion, worth looking for.

Razer noticed that Valen was looking at him and briefly considered trying to shut him out, unsure that he wanted the other man delving into his mind. He mentally waved off the desire, deciding to just let Valen do what he wanted.

He searched around; this time feeling like Razer's mind was a filing cabinet instead of a movie. And for some reason, one he refused to admit to himself, Valen kept running into memories about love and romance. It was like they were magnets, drawing him closer and closer. While being dragged around he did find the smoking memory and pulled his mind away.

"Find what you wanted?"

His face went a dark shade of red, "As a matter of fact, I did." And a whole lot of other stuff.

"Do I even want to know?"

"I was just wondering when you started smoking." Which turned into much more…Valen could've hit himself.

"I see." Razer put out the cigarette, still barely smoked.

"You were surprisingly young."

"Was I?" He could barely remember when he'd started.

"You were. Around fourteen, fifteenish."

"Ah, right." It was actually coming back somewhat. "Fifteen I think."

"Did you go through that many packs then?"

"No, but I smoked more."

"Ah…" He should've checked more closely! Why had he gone looking where he didn't belong?

"You do that subconsciously most of the time, don't you?"

"Yep. And I don't usually get too much control of what I find."

"Interesting."

"Isn't it? Unless you get inside the mind of serial killers or rapists."

"Let me guess, you've done that a lot haven't you?"

"The KG _loved_ my talents. They have very interesting trains of thought…" he shuddered involuntarily.

Razer reached out and grabbed Valen's hand gently.

Val stared at his hand, shocked. What was going on?

Razer pulled his hand away, "Sorry."

"No, no…That was…" He didn't know how to describe it.

"Well you said you liked personal space…"

He shrugged, "Things change."

"I see…" he didn't put his hand back.

"Yeah…" Valen was sort of disappointed. But why?

"Well, I remember last time…" The bruise was still there.

"Sorry…You scared me."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. It's my own fault."

Razer shrugged.

"It's true!"

"I'm not blaming you."

"But you _should_."

He shrugged again.

Valen poked the bruise he had caused.

Razer flinched.

"Still hurt?"

"It's a bruise, of course it still hurts."

"I dunno, some bruises lose their pain."

"Not normally for me."

"Oh. Another mystery solved."

"I had no clue I was so mysterious."

"You are." Oh, indeed he was.

Razer smirked. It was strange, he wanted Valen to touch his cheek again…He hadn't felt this way for a long time.

"You know, you should put something on this." Valen touched the bruise much gentler this time. What was he doing?

Razer sighed, "It'll go away in a while." Valen's hand was strangely soft.

"I hope so."

"They don't last long…"

"This is true."

This situation seemed very awkward to Razer…

Valen then realized his hand was still up and pulled away, turning to hide his worst blush yet.

Dang. He'd moved. He shouldn't have expected Val's hand to stay there.

Valen want to turn and say something, but he couldn't even imagine speaking now. Was it wrong what had just happened? Probably in the other's mind, he thought bitterly. All he had done was touch his face…

Razer reached out and turned Valen back to face him again.

His voice still wasn't working. Dammit!

His hand brushed down Valen's cheek.

Where was this blush coming from? It was stronger than ever, getting worse every second.

He pulled his hand away again. This was just _too_ awkward.

Finally he managed to make a small sound. "Um…"

Razer raised an eyebrow.

Goddamn blush! "Uh…"

Now it was just amusing.

To stay or go, that was the question. Valen almost stood, but didn't – couldn't. Where to go? He looked like a fool.

Razer gave Valen a calculating look. The other man looked almost like he wanted to leave.

"I better go…"

That was disappointing, "Well…see you around I guess…"

"Tomorrow?"

"Sure. See you then."

Valen got up and headed out the door. What was going on? Would he actually join their team?


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Alright, sorry that it took so long again. But in any case, here it is. Kaen, Valen and the Monitor belong to us. Everything else is Naughty Dog's.

Enjoy.

* * *

A long time passed and, by the end of it, Kaen wasn't feeling very hopeful. She hadn't left the room in days – there was no need thanks to Val – and could only sleep so much. In fact she was ready for something horrible but exciting to happen.

Be careful what you wish for.

It had been exactly a month and a half since arriving and all was about to go to hell. And, showing time has no mercy; it started at nine in the morning.

Erol moaned as he woke up to the sound of his cell phone going off. It took him a moment to find it and flipped it open irritably as he sat up. "What do you want?" Not his typical greeting but he didn't care.

Kaen sat up beside him, rubbing her eyes. She hoped it wasn't on of his bitchy days, not when she had to spend almost all day in his company. The thinking hurt her head and she fell back down, making a sort of despaired moan as she hit the pillow.

"What?!" Erol snapped after a moment of listening to the person on the other end, "Torn that's not funny." Another pause, "What the hell were you thinking? God…" More listening. "Yeah, fine, I guess. You both owe me. If we end up losing, I'll kill you. When's her race?" Another break and Erol moaned, "Yes I can make it, but you sure know how to cut things close. Yeah, bye." And he snapped his phone shut getting out of bed.

"What's going on?" Kaen asked, watching him from where she lay. "Should I be concerned?

"Well," Erol pulled on his shirt, "Ashelin's out."

"Why? She sick?"

"Not entirely."

"What do you mean?"

"She's pregnant."

"Oh, that's no big…WHAT?!"

"She's pregnant." He repeated running a hand back through his hair.

"Okay…That really sucks…You racing for her?"

"Yep."

"Well, good luck."

"Yeah, thanks."

She blew him a kiss, then buried her head beneath the covers.

He managed to smile at her before heading out the door.

Valen didn't actually head down the bar until after lunch that day, deciding to spend the morning working on the World Monitor. But at about one in the afternoon, he headed in once again.

Razer watched as the psychologist came into the bar and got up, meeting him by the door.

"Hey," Valen said as soon as he saw Razer.

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"Pretty good. How are you?"

"Tired."

"Why?"

"Been working since six?"

"Working on what?"

"The Monitor."

"Very nice. Going well?"

"It's hard without Cayden's column, but…" Valen's expression went dark at the memory. "We'll survive."

Razer put a hand on Valen's shoulder, "It'll be fine."

"I know. It'll all sort itself out in the end."

"Things often do."

He rolled his eyes.

Razer laughed and proceeded to mess up Valen's still blue hair.

"Explain to me why you do this to my hair. Please?"

"Felt like it."

"Oh. Okay. Understandable."

"So…how's life going?"

Valen shrugged, "We're still in the running. We're still alive and well – at least, I am. And I found my pills hidden again this morning. How's your life been going?"

"Pretty well can't complain." He brushed some of Valen's hair out of his face, "Have any idea who's trying to keep your meds hidden?"

"Um… Honestly, I only have a theory. If it's not true, then it's all good and if it _is_ true, we're all screwed. See, a few years ago, we had this guy that hung around too much and he was kind of psycho and has just gotten worse as time's worn on…"

"You think he's behind it?"

"Or one of his cronies. He wants us_ all_ dead. But it's only a theory and I doubt it'll actually be true."

Razer nodded. In the short time he'd known Valen the other man had never been wrong once but there was still a first time for everything.

"Anyway, off the morbid topic of impending doom…"

"Yes?"

"I don't really know."

"Oh, I see." Razer proceeded to ruffle Valen's hair up again.

"What is it with you and mussing up my hair?"

"It's fun, and it seems to annoy you."

"And you enjoy annoying me?"

"Somewhat."

"You and the rest of the world…" Valen sighed.

"So...I've heard you're down another racer..."

"Yeah. Torn got Ashelin pregnant. At least they made it until they were married - I thought she'd have an illegit kid first."

"My my, scandalous aren't they?

"They are. Always will be, I suspect. Course, I'm not sure if it's love or lust or both that fuels the relationship, but whatever."

Razer shrugged, "Couldn't tell you. Never met them."

"You're not missing all that much. I mean, Torn was my best friend at one point, but _still_. I have trouble with law enforcement types."

"Then it's probably a good thing I'm not one of them."

"I'd say so. You're happily on the other side of the law, as far as I can tell. Or the non-law, depends on how you see it."

"Both definitions work."

Val just grinned.

And then Razer did something odd. He leaned over and brushed his lips against Valen's forehead.

Valen felt his heart totally stop and his customary blush form on his cheeks.

Razer smirked.

Valen glared. He was beginning to know how Kaen felt every time Erol said something to embarrass her. "Do you enjoy making me turn the color of a fire hydrant?"

"You're not quite fire hydrant." Razer said as he decided to compare against his coat.

"Okay. Dark red at the very least."

"Do I enjoy it? Slightly."

"That explains a lot." Not that he was complaining at _all _about what had just happened, he was just confused. Bewildered. Ecstatic always was a good describing word.

"Think we should go sit down?"

"Splendid idea."

Razer led Valen over to the table he'd been previously occupying and sat down.

Val sat down, this time, beside him.

Well _that _was new.

"Sorry."

"What for?"

"Where I sat."

"I have no problem with it."

"Sure?"

"Sure."

He shrugged. "Okay."

The arm that was closer to Valen slipped around his waist.

Valen found himself grinning. It felt normal to him, comforting and perfectly perfect, to be around Razer. It was quite a new sensation after being in unrequited love for twenty odd years.

"So..."

"So?"

Razer shrugged.

"That's helpful. I-" Valen broke off suddenly as he phone began to ring. "Hello?" he said, picking it up.

"Val? It's Kaen." She sounded tired, hurt and frightened. "Erol's had an accident."

"Oh god…" he whispered. "How bad is it?"

"If I say possibly critical, what would you do?"

"Drop the phone most likely. Well, now I won't, but whatever. He's critical? Do you have him at the hospital?"

"I'm on my way now. Valen, we're in a tight spot."

"How so?"

"Erol was just covering for Ashelin. He had _another_ race this afternoon. We don't have any more people to cover."

"So we're all going to die? Horribly and gruesomely?"

"Pretty much."

"Damn. I'll be right over. _Why_ does he always have to get himself into these situations?"

"I don't know! Just, do what you can and I'll make sure he's still alive by the time you get here."

"Right." He closed his phone. Well, his life had just come to an abrupt end.

Razer looked at him with concern, "What's happened?"

"My life has come to an end."

"Meaning...?"

"Erol's out. Don't know how, but he's out. That was our last chance or last hope or whatever. And today started out so nicely too..."

Razer looked thoughtful for a moment, "When's his next race set for? Do you know?"

"No idea. Soon, from the way Kaen was talking." How would they figure a way out of this? It was making his head hurt.

"You mean this afternoon?"

"Yeah."

Razer nodded slowly, "You should probably go see how he is."

"Probably." While Valen knew he should go, he didn't exactly want to dislodge Razer's arm. But he knew he had to. So, with a little reluctance, he stood up.

"So, I guess I'll see you later."

"Unless I'm grievously injured, unfortunately you will." Valen grinned, then left.

He never did end up going to see Erol. Couldn't really. Life has a way of making sure only the worst can happen in the worst of times, which Valen knew quite well. Too well.

It would be three days before he would be seen again.

Kaen closed her phone. Valen would be on his way, if he could tear himself away from Razer long enough to be bothered. And she really hoped he could be bothered - she'd need some serious mental help after another little racing injury episode. A tear slid down her cheek. What to do? She couldn't lose him again.

Erol's eyes flickered open and he moaned. There was only one word to describe how he felt: agony.

Kaen whirled around - he was awake. "Erol..."

"Hey..." His voice was hoarse.

She walked over to the hospital bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore."

"Other than that?"

"Sore."

She laughed, a strangled sort of sound. "You don't feel like the afterlife is coming for you? Someone calling you a gem across the universe?"

"No, not particularly. Though I wish it was coming for me." He paused and winced, "Sorry..."

She shook her head. "It's okay. I mean, if you _want_ to die and leave me here..."

"Not what I meant."

"So you want me to come with you?"

He rolled his eyes. "I meant about the poison, I've screwed us all over."

"I know love. But we'll figure something out. Everything happens for a reason." Or so she hoped...

He shifted slight and fought to repress a cry.

"Don't move. You're in bad enough shape as it is."

"Yeah... I'd gathered."

"I hope so. What happened?"

"Flipped."

"Why do you keep racing again?"

"Well at the moment...Cause it's the only way to get that antidote. Normally? Cause I like it."

"It's going to be the death of you."

"It already was."

"Don't remind me." Another few tears slipped out, which she quickly wiped away. "I thought you just said you didn't want to die."

"I don't."

"Then please, stop talking like you're about to. Please."

"I'll try."

She kissed his forehead. "That's good enough for me."

He sighed and closed his eyes, "What the hell are we going to do?"

"I'm sure someone will figure something out. Maybe Valen will race..."

Erol nearly laughed, the only thing keeping him from doing so was the fact that he probably would've passed out from the pain of it. "Yeah. That'll work."

She sighed. "Truthfully, I don't know what to do either. I feel so confused right now and worried. Something's going to happen - I can feel it. Something _bad_."

"Good things rarely happen to us..."

"Well, I know for my part, you have managed to make up for almost all the bad things that have happened to me."

"And you more than make up for things on my end."

"Good. I've done at least one good thing before I die. Now, you should probably get some rest."

"My preference is that you stay, but if you've got something else requiring your attentions, feel free to leave."

"I don't have anything to do." Kaen pulled up a chair and sat down beside him. "I'll be right here the whole time. Val should be coming soon too."

Valen did not come soon. Indeed, he did not come for three days. For all those three days, he had lain on his bed, aching. Apparently the child didn't appreciate being replaced by someone else - the wounds all over his body made the perfectly clear. But he couldn't stop what his heart was doing… If it was going to be in love, it would be in love and he was willing to pay the price.

Once he felt like he could get up, Valen had pulled himself into the bathroom and put on some cover-up to hide the cuts and bruises. Nothing would hide his stiff movements, but he could wave them away with a simple excuse. He just didn't know what yet.

So, after touching his wounds up, the psychologist made his way back to the bar. The walking was causing some of his cuts to rip open, but he ignored the pain. This task was nearly impossible by the time he was actually inside the said bar - if he wasn't trying to hide he, Valen, might have broken down and sobbed from the pain.

Razer saw the other man enter the bar, he'd been concerned by the sudden lack of Valen as of late. The stiff movements didn't go unnoticed. Razer got up and walked over to him. "Are you alright?" he asked, studying Valen closely.

Valen gritted his teeth - time to playact. "Sure," he said, "I'm fine. How are you?"

Razer was thoroughly unconvinced, but let it slide...for the moment. "Not too bad. Come on," he gestured to a table to closer to them than the one he'd originally been occupying. "You look like you need to sit down."

Valen just nodded mutely. The pain was overwhelming everything else.

The moment they sat down, Razer picked up a napkin from the table. He could see a slight discoloration on Valen's skin and wanted to know what it was. He reached out and gently gripped Val by the jaw, "Hold still."

The last thing Valen wanted was for Razer to see what was under the cover-up. He tried to move out of reach, desperate to keep his secret to himself.

"Valen." His voice was firm as he began to wipe gently at the makeup.

Val flinched every time the makeup touched a cut or he pressed on a bruise. It was hurting like hell.

Razer didn't want to hurt him, but at the same time, it apparently wasn't possible to find out what Valen was hiding without doing so at least a little bit.

Finally Valen just bit his lip to numb out the rest of the pain. He was such a failure… Insane, tortured, unable to control himself…

Finally Razer finished. He stared. "Val...What happened?"

Valen stared at his knees. "I…" No, he couldn't say it! He'd sound insane!

The other man gently made Valen face him, "You what?"

"It sounds insane…" It _was_ insane.

"Just tell me."

"If I told you that I had hallucinations so powerful, so _realistic_, that my body would take it upon itself to inflict wounds that never existed?"

"Does this have to do with that 'child' you mentioned a while ago?"

Valen nodded. "It seems he hasn't been very pleased as of late… And my pills went missing again…"

Razer nodded slowly and moved his hand to hold one of Valen's.

That was when Valen heard it, a dark voice that reminded of him blood and pain. 'Valen, what the hell are you doing? Get away from him. Get away from him _now_!'

The psychologist scanned the room, unable to find the little boy. Where was he? That question was answered when Valen felt someone cut open his cheek quite deeply, someone who wasn't there.

Razer's eyes narrowed and he took a new napkin to clear away the blood.

Another appeared on Val's neck and he nearly had to bite through his lip to keep himself in check. But he didn't want to move - he'd taken the pain first.

Razer dabbed at that one as well before leaning forward and pulling Valen into what could only be describe as a protective embrace. Sure...he couldn't actually protect Valen from his own mind, but it made him feel better to try.

Valen didn't complain or even pretend to resist. It was one of those times where he was actually dead scared. He could feel the child raking at any showing skin, like he was trying to skin Valen. For a sin he had not committed. Never committed. He rested his head gently on Razer's shoulder, hoping he wasn't offending. The boy was growing more violent with every movement.

One of Razer's hands began to stroke Valen's hair gently. He honestly had no clue what he should be doing.

And then something happened that Val had never seen before - the child stopped hitting him and started throwing what could only be called a temper tantrum. It almost made him want to laugh, if it wouldn't have hurt him so much.

Razer looked at Valen, "Am I even helping at all?"

Valen nodded, "Yeah. Sorry about this."

"It's alright."

"Okay." He closed his eyes, blocking out the child and almost everything else. Except where he was, how safe he felt right then. Safety seemed like a new concept.

Razer's lips brushed against Valen's forehead.

Valen tentatively pressed his lips to Razer's neck. True, it was probably a bad idea, but that's what he felt was right for the moment. In the moment.

Razer brushed a few strands of hair out of Valen's face. He cast a quick glance at the clock in the bar...nearly one.

"What time is it?"

"Nearly one."

"I should probably go. Face death in the face and all that jazz."

"Face death...?"

"We have no more racers, right? Face death - we're screwed over. From what I can tell, we have about three weeks left at best."

"Ah..." Valen obviously was still oblivious to what he'd been doing for the past three days. "Don't give up yet. And you might want to check the race standings next chance you get."

Valen raised an eyebrow. "Okay… Well, if we live out the month, I'll be surprised." He stood up, using the table for support. It was anguish just to stand.

"Be careful. Don't push yourself too hard."

"I'll try my best. Stupid hospital is too far away…" he sighed, "Well, see ya I suppose…"

Razer nodded...he'd take Valen to the hospital but, he had to be at the track soon. If he didn't, Valen and everyone he was with actually _would_ be screwed.

The psychologist walked out, going back to ignoring the pain. His mind was whirling about the turn of events, what had happened and what would happen. What could he do? They were dead and just as life came to an end, he fell in love. Desperately.

Someone up there _hated_ him.

Erol sat up and regretted the action, just like he did every time he moved. He'd made a mental note never to flip the car and manage to impale himself again.

Kaen looked up from her paperwork. "You awake again?" She glared, "And lay back down."

"No."

She pushed him downwards, "Stay. You'll only make it worse."

He sighed, but didn't really resist. "Fine..."

"Good boy." Kaen kissed his forehead. "You feeling any better?"

"Not really." Probably because he kept moving and tearing himself open.

"Anything I can do?"

"Don't think so."

She rolled her eyes.

He sighed; the doctors would be coming in to change the dressings soon. He was far from looking forward to it.

There was knock on the door and Valen pushed it open. He was slightly sweaty from the walk up and there was blood dripping down his legs. "Hey," he greeted. "How are you two?"

Erol sat up again, "Better than you seem to be. What happened to you?!"

"I was…_punished_ for my actions. But I frankly don't give a damn. It's worth every cut and bruise."

"Alright then." He could feel fresh blood leaking out onto the bandages and swore internally.

"EROL! LAY BACK DOWN!" Kaen snapped.

Valen snickered.

Erol glared at both of them and lay back on his elbows.

His wife sighed, then got up off her chair and sat beside him on the bed. "Here Val, sit down."

Valen did so gratefully. "So," he began, "We're all going to die."

Kaen nodded.

"Yep..." Erol hated it.

"This sucks. Though…" he remembered what Razer said, "I was told that we weren't going to."

"That'd be nice."

"Something about us not to be so sure… And checking the race standings or something to that degree."

"Hmm..."

"Anyone know where we can check those?"

Kaen handed her PDA to Erol. "Go find them."

"Yes ma'm." Finally something he could do. It didn't take him long and when he found the standings he lay there and blinked at them for a moment. "What the hell...? Well, I'm confused. Here, Val, can you explain this to me?" He held out the PDA.

Val took it, not exactly sure what Erol was talking about. And then he saw it. "Oh my god…"

Kaen tried to get a glimpse. "What's going on?"

"Somehow we're not out yet. Apparently there's another racer for our team." Erol said.

"Who?"

Valen opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't. How could he? This was so…expectedly unexpected.

"Razer apparently." Erol muttered.

Kaen raised an eyebrow. "Valen…"

"What?"

"Is this _your_ doing?"

"Well judging by his reaction...I'd say no." Erol said, looking at his wife, and attempting to sit up again.

"Erol lay back _down_."

Valen kind of smiled. "He told me once that he should… And… I've been bitching about it Dying, I mean. Maybe…" Or maybe not.

The doctor opened the door. "Alright Erol, time to get your dressings changed!" he said in a sing-song voice.

Erol shot the man a death glare. "Hell no. You are _not_ coming anywhere near me."

"Yes I am. There's no if and or but about it. Miss Kaen?"

Kaen nodded at the doctor, then headed out of the room, dragging the still transfixed Valen with her. She hated to hear her husband scream.

Erol glared at the doctor but sat up to let the man at the bloody bandages. He bit his lip, steeling himself to feel the scabs get pulled away.

The whole process, which should have only taken five minutes, took a half hour. When the doctor had gone, Kaen and Valen returned. "You done?" she asked, sitting back down on the bed.

Erol moaned, "I swear I'm going to kill that man..."

"No you're not. Just relax." Kaen took the PDA away from Valen. "And I need this back. If you're so stoked, why don't you just go and thank him yourself?"

"That actually sounds like a good idea. But first, I think I'm going to go fetch Jance." Val stood up. "I think he needs to come here too."

Erol blinked, "Am I a cruel git for temporarily forgetting that he's with us?"

"No. He's making himself easy to forget." Valen headed out the door. "I'll see you both later. After I pick up Jance and all that."


	16. Chapter Fifteen

And here we have chapter 15... Same stuff as usual. Razer and Erol belong to Naughty Dog. Jance, Kaen, Valen, and Arbner belong to us.

On with the story.

* * *

Jance lay curled up on his bed, clutching his stomach. Why? _Why_? He wanted to die, why did the poison have to take so long? This was agony!

Valen knocked on the door. One more person to save, then he could go back…

Jance moaned, "What do you want?"

"It's me - Valen. We're going to the hospital." He opened the door. "Right now."

"Why?"

"Because we need to help you get healthy." Valen walked over to the bed. "Do I need to pick you up or can you walk?"

"I'm not fond of either option."

"Okay, I'll carry you." He scooped the man up and carried him out the door, before turning back. "Do you want your journal?"

Jance would have glared if he could've found the strength to, being carried was demeaning. "Sure..."

Val put the other man down, retrieved the journal, then picked Jance back up, carried him out the door and down the stairs. The hospital wasn't too far from the hotel, so Valen just carried Jance all the way, not bothering to set him down.

Only when they were inside did Valen set Jance down. "I need to check him in," he told a passing nurse, "With a room preferably near Mr. Erol's."

She nodded. "Alright. Well, this way please."

The trip to the room took about five minutes, and Valen felt about ready to drop dead by the time he dropped Jance on to the hospital bed. "There. Now you'll live."

"Thanks. Why exactly were you carrying me? You don't look like you can support yourself right now."

"I can't, but you wouldn't walk." Valen was shaking from the effort of standing up. "So, I think you'll be okay. The doctors will check you out and you'll be alright. Just tell them everything that's wrong. Mention your problems eating. Okay?"

"Yeah...fine. Thanks again."

"You're welcome." Valen stretched, then headed out of the room. If he was lucky, he'd drop dead in the hospital. Stupid child…

It took longer than usual - mostly because Valen had to push himself along the walls at times - but he eventually made it back to the bar. The trip was done mostly by memory - pain was blinding his vision.

"Valen!" Razer met him at the door, grabbing the other man.

"Hi." He legs were collapsing from under him. Maybe carrying Jance all the way to the hospital wasn't the most brilliant idea…

"What the hell have you been doing?"

"Walking, carrying people around, nothing much."

Razer shook his head. "You're hopeless."

"I am highly aware of this fact. Can I sit down please?"

Razer led him over to a table. "I tell you to take it easy, so you carry people around?!"

"Jance was _dying_."

Razer raised an eyebrow.

"The poison hit him harder than everyone. That along with his already weak health…" he shrugged. "He needed to go to the hospital and he couldn't walk."

"And let me guess, no one else could take him?"

"Exactly. Either they're wounded or they're pregnant. I am neither."

"You're hurt! Don't act like it's nothing!"

"I haven't had my shoulder torn out and I haven't been impaled." However, Valen was quite sure he was in just as much pain as the aforementioned wounded. "I'll be fine. Just a little weak from walking."

Razer shook his head again, "Don't do it again."

"Very well." Valen sighed; at least the pain was receding… "But onto other things…"

"Such as?"

"Your racing for our team."

Razer shrugged. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing! You saved our lives! Why?"

He smirked. "If I just wanted a convenient excuse to race again?"

Valen raised an eyebrow. "Then why not just race for your boss?"

"Because then you'd lose."

"Why do you care?"

Razer gave Valen a very blank look.

He sighed and shook his head, immediately regretting the action. Even _that_ hurt. "I give up."

Razer moved over and put an arm around Valen. Why did he _care_? It was nearly offensive that Val'd ask, but then again, the psychologist _was_ rather out of it.

Valen leaned in closer to him, quite content. "Not that I'm complaining… I still don't understand people being nice. It's hopeless."

Razer shrugged and pressed his lips to Valen's forehead.

Valen watched him for a moment, trying to sort it all out in his mind. But, thanks to his mind being a complicated place that didn't think like everyone else, Valen always ended up doing something that seemed random. In this particular case, Valen leaned up and kissed him.

To put it mildly, there was absolutely _no_ resistance on Razer's end.

Valen's mind short circuited and cut out.

One of Razer's hands slipped to Valen's thigh, part of his mind wondering if he'd get punched for it again.

Valen didn't really notice. Actually, it was more along the lines of he noticed, but was far from offended by the touch. _Very_ far from offended.

Well _that_ was interesting. Razer kissed Valen again.

Valen felt his heart spontaneously combust, which resulted in him kissing Razer back.

Razer pulled Valen closer to him.

Val returned the action.

Razer tugged gently on Valen's bottom lip with his teeth.

He kissed him again, totally breathless at that point.

The hand that wasn't on Valen's thigh, slipped inside the other man's lab coat and up the back of Val's shirt.

"You do realize," Valen said, lips brushing the other man's ear, "We should probably not be doing this?"

"Give me one unbelievably good reason," Razer replied, breath whisking over Val's neck.

"Uh..." Valen searched his brain, but couldn't actually come up with any excuse, "Alright, whatever. I can't think of one at the moment."

Razer smirked and his lips met the other man's again.

Valen rolled his eyes.

"Of course if you actually want to stop..." Razer let the sentence hang and slowly began to pull his hand from under Valen's shirt.

Valen body language made it perfectly clear that he did not.

"That's what I thought." His hand resumed its former position and the one on Val's thigh slipped a bit further around to his hip.

"Thinking is a dangerous thing." Valen pressed his lips against his.

"It certainly can be." His hand moved further, sliding from hip to butt as he kissed Valen again.

Val pulled him even closer.

Razer's cheek brushed his as he leaned forward more to tug gently on Valen's ear with his lips. The hand on the psychologist's back traced a random pattern in light teasing strokes across his skin.

Valen was now feeling very torn. Part of him - most of him - was quite content to continue in what was going on. The other was highly aware they were in a public place and about twenty people were watching them. But he didn't want to stop. But they were being watched. It hurt his head.

"You're not used to the looks, are you?" Razer whispered, making no attempt to stop what he was doing.

"No. Not at all. But I suppose I can deal." Valen brushed his lips against the other man's neck.

"Don't worry, you learn to ignore them," Razer muttered, returning the action.

Valen just nodded, saying nothing. He was quite under the impression he would not be able to make another coherent sentence.

Razer's lips met Valen's again.

Val pulled him even closer than before.

Razer, again, mimicked the action; there was very little space between them anymore.

Valen kissed him again, lips trailing from Razer's lips to his throat.

Razer tilted his head, deciding to let Valen get better access to his neck.

Of which Valen took complete advantage.

For a moment Razer just let him, before he was back at Valen, lips meeting anywhere he thought would work. Forehead, eyes, lips, ears, neck, he wasn't picky.

Valen was startled for a moment, then began to mimic exactly what was being done to him.

Razer smirked slightly as he kissed Valen again, he caught on quick.

Valen saw the smirk and just rolled his eyes. Which was quickly followed by a kiss, of course.

The hand that Razer had set on Valen's butt a while ago flexed for a moment as the racer's lips met Val's neck again.

Valen was about to go after Razer's neck again when his cell phone rang. Never before had he been so irritated by Kaen's calling. Part of him nearly ignored it, but his more sensible side squashed the idea. Reluctantly he pulled away and took the call. "Hello?"

"You know, I give you more credit than you deserve Valen. Much more credit."

The psychologist froze - that voice did not belong to Kaen. "Who is this?" he snapped.

"You won't out think me this time. You or that other slummer scum. This time, I _will_ win and you _will_ lose." Cold laughter followed this, as if it was an old joke. "Because, slummer boy, that's how it should work. The higher class comes out on top."

"No…" It couldn't be…

"I've already started on my revenge. Such as your missing meds. Keep moving, don't they? That's how close I am. She will die this time Valen. This time neither he, nor she nor you can escape." The caller hung up.

Valen nearly dropped his phone. The past seemed to be out to get him again.

Razer stared at him, "You alright?"

All Valen could do was stare straight ahead. If the caller _had_ been close enough to move his meds, then who was to say that they weren't the one who caused Erol's car to flip? And what about Kaen? What would happen to her?

"Valen?"

He began to shake. They were dead; they were all dead, no matter what the outcome of the races. And now…even though he knew, he couldn't save them. He'd never be able to save them. If his lips would have moved, he would have screamed, but they wouldn't. Nothing seemed to work.

"Valen!" Razer's hands went to the psychologist's shoulders; this was _not_ normal, even for Val...

"He knew…" he whispered, managing to get a few words past his lips, "He knew, he knows. I'm dead. He knew about the meds, knew how important they are now… He _knew_…"

"Who?"

"Arbner." The name was laced with more hatred than Valen knew he possessed. His entire body was quivering from both rage and fear.

Razer stood, extending a hand to Valen, "Come on, I'm not sure we should discuss this here..."

He nodded and took Razer's hand. It was all his fault… It made him want to cry.

Razer led him from the bar and outside to the street, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag before speaking, "Can you elaborate on this or...?"

"He tried to kill us a long time ago." Valen's voice was dead, completely void of emotion. "He loved Kaen once, but when Erol won her over, he sought revenge. I got them out of a few situations, detained him for a while at the detention center… And now he's returned to finally do what he wanted in the first place. To do to me and Erol what he's wanted to do since the Academy…"

"Ah..." another long drag, he could tell this wasn't good. "Long standing revenge."

"Yes. But since he's tasteless and drunk on non-existent power, all of the deaths that follow it will be…_unpleasant_."

"I can imagine." Sweet nicotine... "Mizo has lost his head once or twice, it's never been pretty."

Valen nodded again, but slower this time. After all that had happened, his pain had multiplied by about a thousand.

Razer felt stumped. Someone was a threat to Valen, yet there seemed to be nothing that he could do about it. And for some reason - even he didn't quite get - he was picking up on the psychologist's emotions. It was rather stressful. Thank god for cigarettes…

Val wasn't really paying attention to the other man's actions. He'd sunk to the ground, leaving a trail of blood on the wall as he did so. The fact he was going to die was easier to ignore when he was in physical anguish.

Razer took a final drag, flicked the cigarette butt away and knelt next to Valen. "You should probably be back at the hotel." Or the hospital…

"True point." He struggled to his feet. "It shouldn't take too long to get there…"

"Hold it." He was not about to let Valen walk.

The psychologist paused. "Why?"

Razer straightened and moved closer to Valen, almost effortlessly grabbing the other man and pulling him up into his arms.

"Hey! No, no, no, no! I am _not_ being carried to my hotel!"

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not!" But Valen didn't have the will to fight, so he lay fairly limp and didn't protest further.

It didn't take long for them to get to the hotel, "Which is your room?"

"Room 491."

Razer nodded and took Valen up to his room. "You'd better look after yourself, or I'm staying the night."

Val proceeded to turn blood red, a considerable feat in his condition.

The racer looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

The psychologist glared, then began to search in his pocket for his key. The moment he found it, he got himself off Razer's arms and opened the door. "There. I'm here and safe." Or not…

"Good, go rest."

"Fine." He went inside, then turned around and added, "And thanks for helping me get here."

"You're welcome."

Val grinned and closed the door.

--

Erol shifted and looked at his wife, repressing a grimace, "I'm bored."

"I apologize for not being more interesting," she said, looking up from her cell phone on which she was playing solitaire. "Anything I can do to help?"

He shrugged and regretted the action.

"Stop doing that!"

"Stop doing what?" He asked innocently.

"Sitting up! Moving! You're never going to get out of her if you keep moving!" She scolded him.

"I'll die of boredom if I don't!" Raising his voice hurt too.

"No you won't. I'm bored too and I'm still alive."

"_You_ get to move…"

"I can move, it's true. Such as leave…I _can_ do that."

Erol smirked, "If you want to, I won't stop you. But then there will be no one to stop me from moving, tearing myself open, and bleeding to death."

"DAMMIT EROL!"

He blinked at her, "What? It's true."

"Sometimes I wonder…"

"About what?"

"Never mind."

"Fine…"

She sighed and rested her head in her hands.

He moaned and made himself relax back into the bed. He was bleeding again.

"I give up." Kaen gout out of her chair and pressed the button to call the doctor. "Sometimes I wish Valen or Jance would come visit. It's too quiet with just the three of us."

"And only two of us capable of speech."

"You'd be amazed how much a foot to the gut can tell you."

"I'll thank you for not giving me and example at the moment."

"You're welcome." She went back over to him and kissed his cheek. "I suppose you can guess."

"That I can. Are you holding up okay?

"As far as I can tell. We'll be fine, as long as the father survives."

He smirked again, "I feel important."

"You _are_ important to this whole thing."

"Mmm," he sighed.

She sat down in her chair, then leaned over and rested her head near his. "I'm tired."

"Me too…"

"Sleep?"

"Sure."

Kaen got up again and actually lay down on the bed beside him. "Night."

"Night." He managed to slip an arm around her without too much discomfort.

In a second, she was asleep.

He looked at her, blinked sleepily and rested his head against hers.

The doctor walked in and came over to him. "Do you think we can do this without you screaming and waking her up?" he asked.

Erol gritted his teeth and nodded, sitting up slowly.

He worked quickly, making it as painless as possible. "Done." He said ten minutes later. "You can sleep."

"Thanks." Erol lay down again, his voice strained from the effort of not screaming. He put his arm back around Kaen and promptly fell asleep.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Hey people... Wow, it's been a long time since I've had a chance to post. Sorry. As compensation, we're going to post three chapters. Here's the first. Sorry again.

Usual disclaimer. Kaen, Valen and the mysterious caller all belong to us. Everything and everyone else belongs to Naughty Dog.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Erol! Erol!" Kaen shook her husband awake. "Get up. You need to see this."

He woke up, saw the white room and snapped his eyes shut again. "I'm still in the hospital, wake me up when I'm not…"

"As much as I love your eyelid tattoos I don't want to see them right now!"

"Fine…" he opened his eyes again. "What do I need to see?"

"It an article in the paper. Did Valen strike you as depressed yesterday?"

"Maybe…why?"

"Someone was found dead, mutilated, inside a hotel room. In _our_ hotel. He committed suicide. Apparently he used knives to slice out his eyes. The police haven't released anymore information. It sounds like Valen! I'm worried it is."

"Val's not the suicide type."

"I know, but when I went to Valen's hotel room, it was completely wrecked and his lab coat was still there!"

"You've already been to the hotel? Tried his cell yet?"

"Yep. No answer. No one saw him leave, so he can't be at the bar. I think he's killed himself. I'm going to the morgue this afternoon."

"It doesn't sound like him…but he might've snapped…Let me know what you find out."

She nodded, "I'll try. What would have happened?" The moment the words were out of her mouth her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"You think you're _so_ smart you little bitch. But I'll kill you like I killed him. You're mine darling. You will always be mine." The caller disconnected.

Kaen closed her phone. That had sounded like…

"Wrong number or something?" Erol asked.

"Yeah," she said, trying to sound normal. "Just a wrong number."

--

Outside the hospital room, Valen listened into the conversation. So they thought he was dead – good. That was the plan, and it seemed that it was working. As long as everyone thought he had committed suicide, they were safe. Everyone he loved was safe.

The night before, Valen had only pretended to go through his routine. No water had touched his skin or passed his lips. It was the same with food – not a morsel had truly come near him. And that night he hadn't slept, waiting and watching. So when the intruder came at three in the morning, Valen had been able to react and attack. He'd driven the other man mad, causing him to kill himself. Then Valen had staged his own death. That had meant going under cover.

Purple and black hair, jacket, skinny jeans and shoes – all black. He was totally unrecognizable.

"Hey! You punk! Get away from that room!" A passing nurse snapped.

Val glared, then slouched away. Possibly eight years in the future he could be Valen again. But after a while, no one would care if he'd ever existed. He'd never been truly wanted. And that would _never_ change. _Never_.

--

"I looked like Valen. His hair was even blue! Erol, Val's dead!" Kaen said later that day. She'd already gone to the morgue. "He is _dead_."

"Can't be."

"It is! Valen killed himself for some reason!"

"He wouldn't."

"But he _did_."

"He _wouldn't_."

"He _did_."

"What about the tattoos? The body had them?"

"Perfect match. I checked myself. He's been declared dead."

"Prints?"

"Cut off."

"Definitely _not_ Valen then."

"Why not? He does odd things without his meds."

"Why bother hiding it though? It _can't_ be Valen! If they can't print the body it means he's covering it up! Val's _not_ dead."

"Why would he want to hide?"

"I don't know. But he _has _to be."

"Well, ever if he _is_, he's been declared dead. He's good as gone now. If you're _so_ sure he survived, I'll poke around. Would _that_ satisfy you?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She got up. "I'll see what I can do."

Kaen knew exactly where to start her search – the bar. Even hidden Valen would be drawn to Razer, or so she hoped. She scanned the bar as she entered, searching for even a hint. The TV was already broadcasting the news of the psychologist's early demise.

Razer was staring at the screen, horrified, a lit cigarette in his hand.

She spotted the racer and headed over to him, not saying anything. What was there to say? Val was dead.

He glanced her way as she approached, "This can't be true, can it?"

"Erol thinks he's alive, I think he's killed himself. I saw the scene myself. Val doesn't go _anywhere_ without his lab coat and it was still there."

"God…"

"Even _he_ can't help us now…"

"What?"

"God. He can't help us now."

"Oh…" Razer nodded slowly. How could Val be dead?

She glanced over her shoulder nervously. Since she entered the bar a man of about twenty had been watching her and Razer. "Do you know why that guy over there is staring?"

Razer stole a quick glance in the man's direction, "No idea."

"It's very odd behavior…You ever seen him before?"

"Don't think so."

"Hmm…" She watched the boy a moment longer, then said, "I'll be right back."

Razer shrugged indifferently.

With a sigh, she headed over to the other man's table. "Hello."

"Hey," he leaned back in his chair, "What do you want?"

The voice was familiar. "To see why you're staring."

"Why not?"

"Because it's rude?"

"Does it look like I give a damn?"

"No." Faint recognition. He almost sounded – and looked – like twenty year old Valen. "What's your name?"

"That's not important."

Kaen took a shot in the dark. "Valen, don't lie."

"I'm not Valen. He's dead." He gestured to the television.

"No you're not."

"No, but he _is_."

"Val, stop lying."

"Valen is dead!" The man was no longer at ease.

So it _was_ him. "But you're not."

"Kaen!" he snapped, "Valen is dead! I killed him last night! Dead, gone, lost!"

"Why did you stage your own death?"

"Because the world is better off without me, I mean Valen."

"You've been getting calls too."

"He was going to die anyway."

"So you _are_ Valen!" Triumph.

"I might have been once. But he was a lie, a lie people shouldn't car about. He was a problem." He tossed back his hair that was flopped into his eyes to reveal two amber orbs. "You could see it in his eyes."

"Dear god…" she sighed, "Why are you doing this?"

"Cause someone tried to stab him through the heart with a butcher's knife last night? And the world doesn't give a damn if he lived or died. You and Erol however, need to live. Valen's a hindrance. So race, win, get the hell out of here and forget he ever existed, okay?" he snarled, sinking back into his chair and letting his hair fall back into his eyes.

"You're not easy to forget."

"I'm sure you'll manage."

Kaen sighed again and returned to Razer. "Well, Erol was right – I guess. Valen's _not_ dead."

Razer put out what was left of his cigarette on the back of his left hand and looked at her. His bright green eyes were dead, "How? How can that be?" His expression could only be described as unbelievably hurt.

For a moment Kaen was sort of shocked by the depression Val's 'death' had caused. When she re-found her voice a second later, she said, "He's watching us right now and hoping that he will actually die and we forget about his very existence in our lives."

"If that's the way he wants to be..." He looked at the burn his cigarette had caused.

"What did I say about want? Do you honestly think Valen wanted to lose you?"

"His choice."

She nodded and looked at her friend across the way. The pain and frustration were still there, threatening to make themselves known through tears. What to do? She didn't want Valen to rot in an alley and she had a suspicion he didn't either.

Razer, bored with the burn, seemed to have a staring contest with the tabletop instead.

"Why do you keep staring at things?"

"Why not?"

"It's not your usual behavior."

"So what?"

"There must be a reason behind it."

He shrugged.

Valen, who had been listening to the entire conversation, got up and headed out the door. Not that he _was_ Valen anymore. Valen was dead. Dead and gone. Especially, he hoped, to Razer. Dead and gone - it was the cleanest break he could make.

Razer finally looked at Kaen and arched an eyebrow at her, "Why do you care anyway?"

"Because you're depressed and Val noticed."

"Good for him. I'm not hiding it."

She nodded and stood. "When I find his corpse a few weeks from now, I'll tell you. Provided you can still tell it's him."

Razer went back to staring at the tabletop.

Kaen just left.

Valen found an alley and started to make himself a home.

--

Two weeks passed, each more and more depressing. Valen thought he would go mad with self loathing by the time the antidote was found. Which, considering that particular race was only a few days away, was bound to be a surprising feat.

It was slightly overcast as Val skulked around the back alleys, trying to ignore and be ignored, a plot that worked fairly well. Anger bubbled through him, intensifying to breaking point. And, right about at breaking point, Valen found a soda can. He picked it up, tossing it from hand to hand, before his pain took over and he ended throwing it with all his might at nothing in particular.

Razer was on his way back from one of the races - why he was still racing against his boss he had no idea - when something, namely a pop can, collided with his head. He whipped out his butterfly blade flipping the blade into the open as he searched for the cause of the projectile.

It took Valen a moment to realize he'd actually _hit_ somebody, but when he did, he was off like a shot. Well, more scurried into hiding like the little rat that he was. Maybe they wouldn't notice. Maybe they wouldn't care to even check.

Razer rubbed his head where he'd been hit and briefly wondered if it'd even be worth his time to find where it had come from. He decided it was and proceeded to head into the alley where the can had presumably come from.

Apparently they had decided to look. Val had long ago learned how to navigate the alleys and to get home quickly, which was exactly what he did. After that it was all feigning innocence.

Razer had been born in Kras and getting involved in the gangs had only given him an extra familiarity with the alleyways. Until something more interesting came up, he _was_ going to find out who hit him...

Valen had never been so glad to find his corner in which he slept. He tossed his recently reacquired lab coat over him and waited. Amidst the garbage, he'd be hard to pick out.

Razer found the corner and just stood there for a moment. He seemed to have lost his target. Muttering a curse he turned to leave.

It had been Razer he'd hit. That was life coming to bite him in the ass. Valen watched him wistfully, wishing he hadn't had to leave. He shifted in the garbage bags, trying to get more comfortable. Instead, he fell backwards and hit the wall loudly. Blinding pain.

Razer whipped back around. There. He stalked over, but his blade was lowered, it sounded like whoever it was had just gotten a dose of karma. Still...

Well, Val sighed to himself, he was screwed.

For a moment the racer was torn. What to do now? He put away the weapon and proceeded to nudge the person with the toe of his boot.

_That_ was demeaning. Val attempted to shrink backwards, but it wasn't working very well. He was screwed.

"You hurt?" Razer could've kicked himself. What a dumb thing to ask, but still...they reminded him of Valen. The memories stung.

"No." He could've kicked himself - why would he respond?

He hadn't actually expected a response and was unprepared for one. So he settled with, "Hmm."

"You looking for someone" Val noticed his voice was much more strained than usual.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Cause someone chucked a pop can at my head and I had nothing better to do than look for the culprit."

"Oh… Yeah, about that… It was, sort of an accident… Sorry."

"Fine. I'd say 'it happens' but it really doesn't."

"I'm rather odd that way. People tend to run away screaming…" Valen bit down hard on his lip. Well _that_ wasn't an obvious tip off!

"Valen." The name felt like poison in his mouth.

"Dammit," he muttered. "You're an idiot who deserves to die Val. Stupid, stupid, stupid…" Slightly louder, he said to Razer, "What's your point?"

"Absolutely nothing." He took a step away and spun on his heel. He had nothing to say to Valen.

Valen felt his heart shatter. He'd done more damage than intended. "I'm sorry, alright?"

Razer froze, "Do you honestly think that cuts it?" His voice was suddenly choked.

"No. But it was necessary."

Razer sighed.

"Tell me you weren't better off for it."

"I wasn't."

"How so? I gave you a clean break; it would have been easy to forget me. I'm nothing. You're something."

"'Clean breaks' can go die in a hole."

"Can they? A previously unknown mystery has been solved." He turned red. "Sorry."

Razer looked back over his shoulder at Valen, "What mystery?" His voice was low and cold.

"Never mind. Don't ask. I've lost it." He sighed. "I would like to solve another mystery."

"And that would be what?" This was dangerous ground. With Valen being, well, _Valen_, he was awfully coming close to uncovering a deep pain from the past. Razer wasn't prepared to let him have access to it.

"Does this whole mess happen to bring up rather unpleasant memories of a guy called Var?"

Razer stiffened, "If it does?"

"So it does. Just wondering."

"What would you bring him up for?!" Razer snapped.

"That's why you reacted the way you did. I'd be the second one to be killed."

"Do you ever find - when you're exploring someone's mind - that they have a _line_ that you should probably _not_ try to cross?"

"Frequently. I usually don't bring these things up - and I know I really shouldn't of - but since this whole thing is going to end up with your loathing me…"

"And you want that why?!"

"Who says I want it? I didn't want to choose this, but I had to. Need over want and all that."

Razer turned back and began to walk away again. He paused again, and glanced over his shoulder once more. "Tell me Valen. Do you _enjoy_ ripping people apart by the soul?"

"No. I never have, never will. I loathe every moment of my miserable existence because I only create pain where I want joy. That's why I staged my own death when given the chance. Everyone could forget about me, pretend I never even entered their lives, realize that my saying I was unfortunate was true. Nothing hurts more than that, the ripping and watching the rebuilding."

"Provided you've left enough to rebuild." He turned back away and continued on walking away. His pace was slow. Part of him didn't want to leave.

Valen crawled out to watch him going. "What would you have me do?"

"I don't know."

Val nodded slowly. "Okay, I do realize you're walking away and I'm still an annoying waste of space, but I have a question."

Razer stopped, _again_, "What?"

"Why did you ever seem to give a damn about me?"

"Because I _did_."

The psychologist was slightly stunned. For one of the first times in his life, Valen was completely speechless. He just sat there and blinked, trying to process.

"You can sit there in your little self pity party all, 'Oh poor me. I'm a freak.' But sometime you'll have to realize that at some point, someone _is_ going to care. I just should've known better than to expect it in return."

"Just because I've never known anyone to care does _not_ mean I've never loved someone! Why do you think I was so scared this whole time? I don't matter, but you do! I love you and there's no worse fate than that." Even as the words left his mouth, Val began to sink back into his hide out, face a furious red. He had never, _ever_, planned on saying that little factoid aloud.

"What?" Razer asked, once more turning around.

Val had a decision to make, to be either meek or bold. After a second of soul searching he decided on bold. "As much as you may loathe me, I love you."

Razer blinked. "I don't loathe you. No matter what you seem to think."

"How so?"

Now it was Razer's turn. The last time he'd said this had been with Var, the day before he'd been killed, and that made it harder. He took a breath, "I fell for you." Hard. "I love you."

"What?"

It was always easier the second time. "I love you."

"Even after all of this?"

"Yes."

Valen took a moment to process. It was the first time in his whole life where a real person had actually said those words. Not his parents, not his friends, not even himself. And all of a sudden, Val had suddenly found out someone truly loved him. He couldn't even speak.

And now Razer had no clue what to do, part of him still wanted to leave, but the desire was leaving rapidly.

"I'd come somewhat closer, but I think I've mutated into a virus."

"I don't believe you have." Razer began to walk back to Valen, if the psychologist wouldn't come, he'd go to him.

"I dunno… I've been living in this for two weeks…"

Razer made a non-committal hand flick.

"Okay…" Valen poked his still blood red face out.

"Is the rest of you planning on coming out?"

"Eventually." Val sighed and managed to crawl out. Somehow, most of him had managed to remain relatively semi-dirty. "There. I am out of the trash."

"Very nice."

"I know."

That was a weird response... "Planning on still living in the trash after this?"

"No. But I'm not really sure where to go. I'm not ready to publicly come back from the dead."

"Well, though I'm sure they know, I bet everyone you were with would appreciate a private revival."

"Oh, all my friends already know. I went and talked to them a week ago."

"Oh, well, thanks for keeping me out of the loop. You'd think they'd say something, since they owe me."

"I told them not to. Sorry."

"Any particular reason?"

"I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Ah."

"Yeah…" Valen looked down at his knees. "Look, about what I said earlier… I'm sorry. I went too far."

Definitely too far. _Way_ too far. "It's okay."

"No it's not. I usually don't lose control like that… I just got angry…" he shook his head.

"It happens."

"Does it?" Val finally coaxed a grin out of himself. Sure, it was twisted and rather pathetic, but it was a grin.

"It does." Razer smirked.

He rolled his eyes.

"So...Final race is coming up."

"Indeed. You still saving our skins or has Erol crawled his way back?"

"Actually, we were thinking we'd double the odds. Well actually I was, I don't talk to him. He'll be back just in time for the last race."

Valen nodded. "I hope he doesn't hurt himself again. Kaen will _murder_ him if he does."

Razer shrugged, "Violent sport. Things like that aren't uncommon. Though I don't think there'll be anything to worry about."

"I hope not." Valen took a true step out, actually trying to move, but stopped when he noticed his shoe. There was something large, slimy and _moving_ on it. He stared, transfixed. It had to be about a foot long.

Razer looked down, "And things like _that_ aren't too uncommon either."

"I hope you're being sarcastic." Valen tried to shake it off, but it wouldn't let go.

"Not really, no. I'm surprised you haven't found more."

"I _have_. They slept on me at night." Valen shuddered, then tried to shake it off to no avail. Finally he just wiped it off on a garbage can. "I thought they were just huge pieces of mutated cardboard."

"No...They're not. Harmless, but not cardboard."

"Gross though." Valen scootched even farther away from the plastic bags.

"Yep. They are."

"So…"

"So...?"

"I dunno." Valen found another wall and leaned against it, resting his head. He seemed to injure himself a lot more around Razer.

"You okay?"

"I may or may not have a concussion."

Razer rolled his eyes and held a hand out. "Then an alleyway's no place for you."

Valen took the hand happily enough. "True point."

"Where would you like to go? I'm not sure you can head back to the hotel, and you seem not to like hospitals..."

"I'm not sure. Any ideas?"

"I've got a nice place..."

Val blinked. "Oh… Okay."

"Only if you want to."

"Why wouldn't I?"

Razer shrugged, "You seemed...surprised by the suggestion."

"You tend to do that a lot. Surprise me, I mean."

Razer nodded, "Well, come on. It's not actually too far."

"That's good." For the first time in a long time, the psychologist finally felt a spark of hope.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Again, the usual disclaimer. Kaen, Valen, Ripp, Leeta, Jance and Arbner all belong to us. Everything and everyone else belongs to Naughty Dog.

Enjoy!

* * *

The last few days leading up to the final race passed quickly. Something Erol and the other three who'd been poisoned were rather thankful for. The impalement wound he'd gotten had finally healed up enough for him to move and, against the doctor's orders, race.

Erol got up, for once able to do so without his wife attempting to stop him.

"You take pleasure in the fact I cannot reprimand you for getting up, don't you."

"Yes, is it wrong to?"

"No. It just bugs me." Kaen sat up in bed. "Are you leaving me again today?"

"It's the final race; I want to be something other than useless during it."

"This is true." She sighed and swung her legs out of bed. "I have to go back to Haven today anyway."

"Really? Why?"

"I…uh…got a call." Yes, another threatening message from someone who might be Arbner. "I have to be there by two this afternoon."

"Alright. Well, I won't be too long after."

"I hope not." She raised her arms up in a 'give me a hug' way. "Hug."

He didn't need any further prompting and proceeded to embrace his wife.

She hugged him tightly to her. "Mmm… I like hugs."

He grinned and nuzzled her.

"You're silly."

"Yeah, it's nothing new."

"No." She kissed his nose. "It's not."

He pressed his lips to hers.

She kissed him back. Such a nice way to start the day.

"I love you."

"I love you too. So does the baby."

He grinned and moved one hand to Kaen's stomach, "Hopefully."

"It will. How could it not, with you as its daddy?"

He shrugged, "I have a habit of doing things that make people hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"You're a special case." He kissed her again, "A _very_ special case."

"I like being special."

He nuzzled her again.

She laughed, then pushed him away. "I've got to get ready and so do you. You can have access to me later."

"I know." He grinned at her and started to get ready for the day.

And, of course, so did she.

Erol finished getting dressed and walked over, "So you're going to have to leave soon if you plan on getting back to Haven by two."

"I know." She sighed, "Good luck love."

"Yeah, you too."

"Say sorry to Val for me, will you?"

"Sure why?"

"Just…tell him…"

Erol nodded, "Alright."

"Thanks." Kaen smiled and headed to the door. "See you."

"See you sweetheart."

"Yep." Then she was gone.

--

Razer was also getting ready for the last race. He walked over to Valen and put an arm around his shoulders.

Val smiled nervously at him. He was absolutely terrified for Razer – irrational, but true. "Hi…"

"What's up with you?"

"Irrational terror?"

"Irrational terror of what?"  
"Not _of_ what. _For_ what. For _who_. For you. Like I said, it's irrational."

"You worry too much." Razer said kissing Valen's forehead.

"I know. But it's not like I can stop it." He leaned his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

Razer stroked Valen's hair gently.

"Will you at least pretend you'll be careful until you're actually racing?"

He sighed, continuing to stroke Val's hair, "Fine."

"Thank you. That makes me feel better." The psychologist closed his eyes and tried to drive away the images of Razer's dead body.

"I'll be fine. I've raced hundreds of times." No need to mention that the Grand Prix had the highest fatality out of all the races.

"I _know_. I'm just being my over protective self. It's a horrible habit."

"I don't mind," Razer said kissing his boyfriend.

Valen grinned, then kissed him back, wrapping his arms around him, "Okay."

Razer pressed his lips to the other man's neck.

Val pulled him close. He was beginning to understand Kaen and Erol's inability to hold a conversation.

Razer tugged gently on the nape of Valen's neck with his lips.

He kissed him again.

Razer returned the action.

"Please don't die on me," Val whispered, lips leaving a trail of kisses on Razer's neck, "Promise me that much."

"I won't die on you. I swear."

"Good." Val shifted his arms, making himself more comfortable, "I don't know what I'd do if you did."

"You'd probably be miserable."

"There's no doubt about that. I swear, you've done something to my mind."

"Something like what?" Razer asked, lips brushing Valen's forehead.

"It keeps short-circuiting at inopportune moments."

Razer laughed and began to pull away.

"You're leaving me, aren't you?"

"Erol won't be able to hand the Grand Prix without me."

"I know. After this you'll no longer be saving our lives."

"Very true. So, I'll see you after the race."

"I hope so."

"If it'll make you feel better you can watch the race."

Valen nodded. "Well, good luck. Don't die. Love you."

"Love you too." And with that, Razer left.

--

About that time, Kaen arrived at her Haven Manor, exhausted but pleased. This time, she'd win. For the past few weeks she'd been baited, taunted, threatened and now she had a location. It was time to take her final revenge.

Arbner would die. This time, he would die. It was a mantra she repeated over and over as she climbed the steps. He would die.

As soon as Kaen reached the last step, her cell phone rang. "Hello?" she snapped.

"Hello darling," Arbner's silky voice said, "You ready?"

"When and where?"

"The alley. Right now. You and me. A clean fight."

"Deal. I will kill you this time."

"Don't count on it." Laughter and cut off.

She needed no more prompting. Revenge fuelled her every movement, dulling her common sense. It would be sweet.

In the alley, Arbner waited. Soon he'd reveal things unseen.

Kaen slid into the ally, knife at the ready. He'd challenged her to a fair fight. It was odd, true, that after a year in hiding, he suddenly reemerged for a fight. He'd tried to kill Valen too, which was odd. Why Valen over her? Didn't he hate her?

"Arbner!" she cried out as she walked inside. "Arb-" she was cut off as _another_ calikite knife sunk into her gut. She choked, a little blood pouring from her mouth. How had she not heard him?

The knife was pushed deeper and deeper into her stomach. "You called?" a cold voice purred.

"How…"

"Did I get this knife?" The blade was pulled out. "You left it here the day you skinned Blade."

"Why?" Kaen fell to her knees, coughing up blood. "I thought you said fair."

"When have you ever played fair Kaen?" The knife plunged into her heart, twisting as it went in. "Neither do I. I'm done playing."

For not the first time in her life, Kaen really wished Erol were there. She stared at the ground, determined not to look and see the satisfaction on her enemy's face.

"Now there I present and explanation for my actions. The hiding, the phone calls, the stupid way I lured you to me."

The crime lady glared and said nothing.

"I will start after your husband returned the second time. There really isn't much to explain there – I was jealous. As much as you hate my, I desire you. Foolish, but true. When you and slummer scum got married, I though I would die. But I didn't. Not yet. Not ever.

"I had begun to worm spies into your system. I too had become a crime lord, worshipped just like you. Several gangs joined me and my cause. I haunted your every step. I knew long before you did that you were pregnant. It was like a punch to the gut. That child should have been mine.

"I have recently been working in Kras. _I _had Erol impaled. _I _drove Valen mad with frustration and tried to have him killed. _I_ tore out Torn's shoulder. _I_ made Razer lie and say he loved that freak of nature…"

Kaen felt her stomach explode. Valen was being _used_? "You bastard…" She choked out. The world was fading.

"Watch your language you bitch. It's rude. _You're_ rude.

"Anyway, as I was saying…I've been playing you all like instruments. I have this city under my thumb! And now, I will have my revenge and you, _you_, will die. Just like in that cell. I will have you and kill you."

She tried to scream, but found that she didn't have the energy. So he had just been using them…And Valen, Cayden, Erol…

A rush of something suddenly coursed through her system. How had she forgotten? Of course there would be eco in the knife! She was dead for sure.

"Goodbye darling. No one can save you now."

For the first time, Kaen looked up at Arbner. His face was the very last thing she saw before the world went black.

Arbner glared at her for a moment, before reaching down and grabbing her cell phone. Time to spread the word.

--

Ripp looked up from the textbook he was poring over as his cell phone rang. He glared at the offending device before sighing in irritation and setting his notes aside to pick it up off the coffee table. He glanced at the number on the display, it was Kaen's. He rolled his eyes and answered, attempting to keep annoyance from his tone.

"Hey, what do you want?"

"Seven minutes." It was a man's voice, smooth and cold, "Seven minutes."

"What the hell? Who is this?"

"Your alley. She's got seven minutes. Then she's dead."

Ripp was on his feet in an instant, "Who the hell are you?!"

"Seven minutes." High pitched laughter, then the dial tone.

"Dammit!" he threw his cell on the couch and ran. 'His alley.' Where the hell was 'his alley?' He'd start at the one he'd been in most when he was with the Weaps. The alley he'd met Kaen in…

He came tearing into the alley and skidded to a stop. "Kaen!" He knelt next to her and checked her neck for a pulse. Her cell phone lay discarded not too far away and he grabbed it, dialing three digits.

"911 emergency."

"I need an ambulance to," he paused, trying to remember the name of the street the alley led to, "To the alley three blocks west of the manor."

"Alright. Are they breathing?"

"Yes.

"Pulse?"

"Erratic."

"We'll be there in five minutes."

Five minutes. He had to keep her alive for five minutes, "Thank you." He hung up and called his own cell. "C'mon Leeta…pick it up…" he muttered.

She answered on the fourth ring. "Miss Kaen?"

"Um…not really."

"Ripp?! What are you doing on Miss Kaen's cell phone?"

"Well I think it's pretty obvious that I don't have mine."

She sighed, "What do you want?"

"Kaen's been attacked."

"_What_?!"

"She's been attacked." He looked down at Kaen, attempting to stem the flow of blood with his free hand. "I need you to get a hold of everyone in Kras."

"Okay…Is she going to survive?"

"I don't know…The baby won't…"

"Alright. Call me if she gets worse…unless you want me to stay on the phone to you too."

"Sure, if you can manage it."

"Have you no confidence in my abilities?"

"I have a lot of confidence in your abilities. It's just hard to hold two conversations simultaneously…"

"I know. I'm calling Valen now."

--

Back in Kras, Valen was having a small conniption fit. "Why didn't anyone tell me about the death rate of this race?!"

"Because if we had, you'd have taken it even worse." Erol said, grinning at his friend.

"My nails are nearly non-existent now! I'm going to _murder_ him!"

"Are you now?" Razer asked, slipping up behind his boyfriend. "I hope you won't make it a habit."

"How could I make it a habit?! You can only die _once_!"

"I meant the nail biting. You wouldn't be able to kill me."

"I _couldn't_. Kill you I mean. As for the nail biting…I can't believe I actually came and watched!"

"Neither can I…"

Erol rolled his eyes at the two.

"What was that eye roll for?" Val asked.

"Just you two." Erol looked at the vial of antidote he had, "I'm going to go try to cure my brother."

"Oh." The psychologist turned to face Razer. "You could've told me you could've died!"

Razer shrugged. "No I couldn't. You'd probably have died of shock."

"I did anyway! Nearly…" he sighed, "Hopeless."

Erol rolled his eyes again as he saw Razer put an arm around Val's shoulders on his way out the door.

Suddenly Val's cell went off. "Valen speaking." He said, flipping it open.

"Val? It's Leeta. I need to tell you something."

"Okay." He broke away from Razer and walked a little out of earshot. "What's up?"

"Miss Kaen. She's been attacked. It sounds like she might not make it. Valen, she's going to die."

"No…" he moaned. "She can't be dead…"

"Dying. She's not dead. But she will be. Tell Erol and everyone else. She's en route to the hospital." A pause. "I'm sorry, I've got to go."

The psychologist nodded, "Yeah…I'll tell them."

"Thanks Valen." She hung up.

He closed his phone. Kaen was going to die. Arbner must have attacked her. He, _he_ had failed her. Val fell to his knees and began to sob. He'd failed her. He'd failed the city. He'd failed himself.

"Valen?" Razer walked over, concerned. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"I failed…" His entire body shook.

"Failed what?" the racer wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

At that moment Erol reentered looking a strange mixture of annoyed and smug. He glanced around, Torn and Ashelin were engaged in low conversation and his eyes narrowed as he looked at Razer and Valen. "Val? What's up?"

"She's dying. _He_ attacked her. I _told_ her not to go after him. He goaded us with phone calls…Now she's as good as dead." Valen buried his face in Razer's shoulder.

Erol blinked and looked at Razer. "Do _you_ know what he's talking about?"

The black haired man shook his head, rubbing Valen's back slowly.

"Kaen's dying. She won't survive. _He_ killed her!"

Erol felt fear grip him, "What?" he had a gut wrenching feeling that he knew who 'he' was. "No." He shook his head.

"Yes. Leeta just called. I _told_ her not to go. This is my fault. I'm so sorry Erol…"

"No…"

"The baby's probably dead…She's going to die…" Valen looked at him. "It's all _him_."

"You don't mean who I think you do, do you?"

"Arbner."

"That bastard!" When would he stop screwing with his and Kaen's lives? Tears had filled his eyes and were threatening to fall.

"He wants revenge. You married her, got her pregnant, hold her heart – he wanted to be the one who did that. You tortured him, then stole what he loved. I blackmailed him… He just wanted revenge. And he'd succeeded. I could've stopped him and I didn't…"

Erol could feel the tears beginning to fall. "Don't blame yourself."

"What else is there to do? You need to go Erol. _Now_."

Erol nodded and was gone in a second.

Valen watched him go, then turned back to Razer and his face resumed its position on his boyfriend's shoulder.

Erol probably broke a few speed limits on his way back to Haven, but he didn't care. He got to the hospital and quickly found out what room Kaen was in.

A doctor met him at the door. "You Erol?" he asked.

"Yes." He nodded, "How is she?" The prospect of the answer terrified him.

"Two percent chance of survival. The baby has one percent. You have a choice…"

This wasn't going to be good… "What?"

"We can save one of them. If we save your wife, she will be a vegetable for the rest of her life. If we save the child, it will be mentally damaged beyond repair."

"Oh god…" how could they ask him to choose?

"You-" there was screaming in the hospital room. "One second." He went back into the room. More screaming, then he remerged. "Never mind. Zero percent chance of survival."

His heart shattered, "God…" And he began to sob. He'd lost her.

"Would you like to see her?"

Erol nodded.

"Come in," the doctor opened the door wide, revealing a pale figure on a hospital bed.

The former commander walked over to her, "Kaen," the tears continued to fall.

"She's in a coma. Has been for hours."

"Oh god…"

Kaen's eyes flickered around the room, searching everywhere for something unseen. Eventually they turned towards Erol and she paused completely staring into his eyes.

"Kaen…"

"Oaks and apples," she suddenly said, "It's a sick joke. I swear to god…Well, that's Aaric… Why is it oak trees? This is troubling…Dammit! God I wish he was here…" she lapsed into silence.

The doctor stared. "What the…"

"She's dying…" Erol said quietly.

"What is she talking about?"

"Heaven."

"Apples and oak trees means heaven?"

"This will sound insane, but…Apples grow on oak trees there. Random whim of the guy in control."

"Okay then…" the doctor said slowly. Obviously he was in shock. "Anything else before you go?"

Erol reached out to brush a hand down Kaen's cheek.

She sighed. "Oaks and apples… Why did Erol have to leave." Her heartbeat suddenly spiked and her eyelids closed.

"You need to go Erol."

He nodded, pulling his hand away and left the room. He sank to his knees in the hallway outside Kaen's room and let himself completely break down.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

Once again, the usual disclaimer. Kaen, Valen, Jance, Aaric, Faine, Fae and Valen all belong to us. Everything and everyone else belongs to Naughty Dog.

Enjoy!

Note: this chapter contains more explicit content than those previous to it. Strong shonen-ai. You have been warned.

* * *

By the end of it, the doctors had given Kaen a week to live. The poison put in the knife was a new invention of Arbner's, meaning there was no antidote. So, she lay in a hospital bed, waiting to die. Waiting for her heart to explode with the pressure the poison had created in her bloodstream.

On her last day of life, the doctor cam out into the waiting room, which was where Erol was. "Sir?" he asked tentatively.

Erol looked up, his eyes practically dead, "Yes?"

"We have…a proposition for you."

"I'm listening."

"There… is a poison…that will revive Miss Kaen for an hour…then cut her lifespan in half. We were wondering if you would like to speak with her one more time."

He thought about it, it was a good two minutes before he nodded.

"Come on in then."

Erol got up and followed the doctor to Kaen's room.

Kaen was lying there, limp as ever – the poison had not yet been administered. The doctor pointed to a nearby chair. "Sit there. I'll get it ready." There were no other doctors or nurses in the room.

He nodded and did as instructed.

The other man returned with a needle, which he stuck into Kaen's arm. "I'll leave you two alone." He said, exiting the room. "Remember – one hour."

Erol reached out and put his hand on Kaen's arm, making a quick note of the time.

Her eyes flickered open. "Ow…"

"Hey sweetheart."

"Hey love." Kaen grinned at him. "So I'm dying, huh?"

"Yeah…"

"That sucks."

He sighed, he was about to lose everything…

"Can I ask a favor?"

"What?"

She raised her arms up, "Hug?"

He managed a weak grin and moved to sit on the hospital bed to embrace her.

"You're a very nice person." She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "We can't win."

"No…we can't."

"Another question."

"Sure, what?"

"How long have I been out? You still have your ring on, so it can't bee too long… Unless you're remarried…"

"About a week. And I'd never take it off."

"Oh…Okay. Did they save the baby?"

For a moment, Erol couldn't speak. "No sweetheart. There wasn't time."

Kaen nodded slowly. "I guess I'll see it soon anyway…But… God. I hate this!"

"Try being me."

"An egotistical bastard? Don't think I can pull that off."

He managed a weak laugh.

"Don't be sad – I'm not worth that. How long do I have left?"

"Awake? Less than an hour. Left in total? Probably just longer than that." He couldn't help the hopeless tone in his voice.

"Okay. I need you to remember everything I am about to tell you. Alright?"

He nodded.

For the next fifteen minutes, Kaen repeated everything Arbner had told her, ending with, "You have to call Val."

"I will."

"Good. I don't want to think about him being used. And that's my story."

Erol nodded and kissed her forehead, only twenty more minutes…

"Mmm…" she closed her eyes and relaxed against him. "You're warm."

"So are you."

"Am I? That's new." She brushed her lips against his neck. I'm not sure I want to die. Death is cold."

He nuzzled her, "Should I come keep you warm?"

"Part of me says yes…Another says no…I'm not worth your committing suicide…"

"To me you are."

"I know…And you are to me." She paused, "Don't leave me."  
"Never. I won't _ever_ leave you."

"Good. I don't like to be without you." She laughed quietly. "Who would think four years ago that I'd say something like that?"

"Valen would've. I know I wouldn't."

"And neither would I. Life has a way of tricking people. How long now until I depart?"

"About fifteen minutes."

"How shall we spend those fifteen minutes?"

"I don't know."

"Be creative."

"I'm currently lacking the ability to be creative."

"Fine. You amaze me."

"I know."

"Okay…" She rolled her eyes, "Here we go then. If _you_ were about to die, what do you want to do?"

He shrugged.

"Argh!"

"Sorry…"

"Do you want _me_ to be creative?"

"Sure."

She leaned up and kissed him.

He brushed his lips against her neck.

"Good enough way to spend the time?"

"I think so."

She grinned and pulled him closer to her.

He kissed her again.

An action she promptly returned.

He nuzzled her and tugged gently on the nape of her neck.

"I love you." Death was beginning to tug at her mind.

"I love you too."

"It's not like we'll never see each other again, if you're never going to leave me."

"True, true."

"I'm about to die."

He tightened the embrace, "Just a little longer, please."

"Sorry to disappoint. But you'll come one day, won't you?"

"Yes."

"Alright. One last kiss?"

He gave her her request.

"Love you." And with that, her eyes glazed over, the heart monitor went erratic and, after a moment or two, flat lined.

He closed her eyes as he let go of her.

The doctor slid into the room. "She's dead?!"

Erol nodded.

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged.

"You don't care?"

He glanced back at the doctor, tears running down his cheeks.

"Oh."

"She's gone…"

"Forever."

"Not forever."

"She's dead and gone. For good. She'll never come back. You lost her Erol. You've got to let go."

Erol got up and brushed past the man, slightly dazed. His wife was dead; his heart shattered. He sat down in the hallway, his back against the wall.

Time ticked slowly by and a short while later – though to Erol is seemed to be an eternity – someone came up the hallway and sat next to him.

Erol didn't look at them, didn't even react until a pair of thin arms wrapped around him, but he didn't put up resistance to the embrace, resting his head on the boney chest of the person hugging him. "Jance?"

"Yeah?"

"Just checking who it was." Erol relaxed against his brother. "You're awfully boney."

"Excuse me for having lost a hell of a lot of weight being sick."

"Oh right…"

"I'm sorry about Kaen."

Erol shrugged against Jance. Apologies could change nothing, but the mention of Kaen stung. He wanted to die, to be with her again. His hand drifted to his gun, it'd only take one shot.

Jance slapped his hand away. "'Ey! No. Erol, leave it."

"But… I…"

The older man glared. "No." He said firmly. "Selfish as it may sound, I don't want to lose you too."

Erol blinked at him. "But…she wants me to come."

Jance grabbed Erol's hand, his fingernails digging into his brother's flesh. "I said 'no.' Get it?"

The redhead tried to twist his hand out of Jance's grasp. "I miss her."

Jance sighed, his expression softening slightly, "I know you do. _But_, need I remind you, she went through this _twice_ over you. It'll be okay."

Erol shook his head, the tears returning. It would never be okay. The next moment he'd latched desperately onto his brother and was sobbing into Jance's shirt. How could he ever continue on without her? How? It felt like the pain alone might kill him. He already missed her so much.

Erol sat leaning against his brother, finally calm enough to try to think rationally. He pulled out his cell phone.

"Erol what are you doing?" Jance asked.

"Val."

"Oh. Okay..."

The redhead dialed and waited for Valen to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Val..."

"Erol? What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"She's gone..." his throat tightened as he spoke.

"Oh god… Oh Erol… At least you'll see her again."

He nodded, "Yeah...I know..."

"Okay. What else?"

"I don't know..."

"Mention you're suicidal!" Jance said, elbowing Erol in the ribs.

"You're suicidal?!"

"What?! No...I'm not...really."

Jance's hand cuffed Erol's head. "Liar!"

"Why'd you try to kill yourself? Don't bother lying; I can hear it through the phone."

Erol didn't want to answer, he sighed. "Cause she's there..."

"Did she tell you to come with her?"

"Kinda."

"And you want to be with her?"

"Yes."

"And love lives on…" Valen sighed. "Alright. You going to be okay?"

"Maybe..."

"Pessimist." Jance hissed, poking his sibling.

"Alright. Just…tell me what you know. Everything. Don't leave a single detail out. I want the whole story."

"Well..." This was going to be hard, _and_ awkward.

"Just spit it out. _Everything_."

Erol began, faltered, started over and it took him ten minutes to relay _almost_ everything he could remember.

"Oh dear… Well, I can start to see what I can find. It's the least I can do after I ruined everyone's lives."

Erol sighed; he knew he _had_ to tell Valen about Razer...

"Are you _sure_ there's nothing else Erol?"

"No..."

"Spit it out."

He didn't want to, and when he spoke the words came out in a rush. "ValenIreallydidn'twanttotellyouthisbutRazerdoesn'tactuallyloveyouthatwaspartofArbner'splot."

Val had caught enough to piece it together. "Oh. Well… That's interesting. I'm going to go now. I need some fresh air to clear my head. Thank you for telling me Erol."

"Yeah...Talk to you later I guess."

Val hung up the phone. So, it was all a lie. Even after all that careful checking, he'd still been hoodwinked. With a sigh, he headed for the door. He needed a walk. A _long_ walk.

--

In the end, the walk ended up being around three hours long. Val churned over and over the information in his mind. Of course it had been a lie - he'd been a fool not to see that. No one would actually care, not about him. By the time he'd returned - which was around eleven o'clock at night - he'd decided that the truth would be revealed. Some way, some how, the truth would be revealed.

Razer heard the front door open and emerged from the living room to find Valen in the entranceway. "So you're back now. Where were you?!"

"I took a walk." Short, clipped, to the point.

"Enjoy it?"

"No. Not really. But I needed to take one."

"Clear your head?"

"Not as well as I hoped." Val sighed, "Look. Some very intriguing information has traveled my way today…"

"Oh? Has it? Intriguing information like what?"

The psychologist took a deep breath, steeling himself. He only had to say it once. "Kaen was woken up today shortly before her death and gave an account of everything Arbner said…" He paused. "Of which one item concerned me."

"And that was?" Razer's voice was concerned.

"It's awkward…because I'm not sure if it's true or not But Arbner claimed that you actually work for him and," he took a deep breath, "You've been lying to me all along."

"I've never even met this 'Arbner' how could I be working for him?"

"I don't know! Everything else checked out as true, so…"

"It's not true."

Val still looked wary. "Sorry to sound paranoid, but when something may concern _him_, I tend to be careful. How can you prove you're not lying?"

"I don't know. Is there anything you can think of?"

"I don't know anymore."

"There has to be a way to prove I'm telling you the truth."

Val ran a hand through his hair. "Believe me when I say I've been searching for a way for the past three hours. I don't want this to be true, but one of my best friends died today because of my mistake."

Razer walked over to Valen and put his arms around him. "I'm sorry about that."

"Why would he lie though? It was pointless."

"Try to throw your mind into doubt?"

"But _why_? Now I can't tell truth from lies and all that's in between seems a haze!"

"Exactly. He's confused you and now you can't think straight."

"So, I'm going to ask once more: has this whole thing been a lie?"

"No."

"How can you prove that?"

"I don't know. I don't know."

"Please, just think of something." He was practically begging.

"Val, I'm sorry, I just...I don't know."

"Here. Let's just do this the old fashioned way." Valen turned his face a little up and stared straight into Razer's eyes. _His_ old fashioned way.

Razer tried to focus his mind on Valen, prove to the psychologist that he wasn't lying. Any barrier Valen might've ever encountered was gone from his mind.

Val searched and searched for Arbner or someone else who might have been working for him. No dice. It seemed like the creeper _had_ been lying, apparently to simply mess with him. Eventually Valen just stopped searching and simply went back to staring into his boyfriend's eyes.

Razer blinked, "Find what you wanted? Or lack thereof?"

"Both. I'm sorry I was paranoid…but…I'm always afraid that…"

"It's alright. If I were you, I'd be paranoid too."

"Forgive me?"

"Of course."

"Alright. God I sound like a flake…"

"No you don't." Razer said, kissing Valen.

In that moment, Val knew he'd been forgiven. He kissed Razer back, feeling less and less frightened as he did so. At least they were alive.

Razer pulled Valen closer to him, his lips brushing his boyfriend's neck.

Valen tilted his head slightly back, giving Razer complete access to his neck. His brain had switched off.

Access that the other man wasted _no_ time taking complete advantage of.

After a moment or two, Val tilted his head up again and pressed his lips against his boyfriend's.

One of Razer's hands trailed down Valen's back as he lowered it to the psychologist's butt. He returned the kiss and offered up his neck.

Valen wasted no time in taking advantage of the opportunity.

"I love you." Razer muttered.

"I love you too."

Razer smirked and kissed Valen.

Val tugged him closer to him.

Razer's teeth pulled gently on the skin of Valen's neck as the hand he'd lowered flexed.

Valen's lips brushed across Razer's ear as he whispered, "You're driving me crazy again."

"Am I now?" his words were muffled by Valen's neck.

"Indeed, you are."

"Good."

"Oh ha ha." Valen kissed his boyfriend again. "Very funny."

Razer didn't reply - verbally anyway. His lips met Val's again.

Valen's fingers tangled in his hair as he deepened the kiss.

Razer's lips parted ever so slightly and his tongue flicked over Valen's mouth, begging for permission.

Permission Val gave eagerly enough.

Razer's tongue entered his boyfriend's mouth, exploring every inch.

Val copied the action, sliding one hand up the back of his boyfriend's shirt as he did so.

Razer pulled Valen closer, eliminating the miniscule space that had remained between them.

Val mumbled something incoherent as his hands began to explore Razer.

Razer's hands moved, this time he was following Valen example. For a brief second the fingers of his right hand dipped below the hemline of his boyfriend's pants...

Valen's breathing quickened considerably. "Razer…"

"Yes?"

"I'm not at all sure."

"Alright." He slid his adventurous hand back up to Valen's back, "Better?"

"What do you think?" The answer was, in Val's mind, a definite 'no'.

"Just checking." And his hand went right back, further down actually.

"Oh god…" Val felt what was left of his mind falling away as he began to undo Razer's coat. "Do you think we should take this elsewhere?"

"Probably."

"Then shall we?"

"I believe we shall."

"Where to?"

"Beds work _very_ well for this."

"True point."

Razer slipped his hand back out of Valen's pants and led the other man to his bedroom.

Val, obedient as ever, followed. Why wouldn't he?

Razer smirked and shut the door, pulling Valen right back against him.

Valen fumbled with the coat a little more until he finally got it off. His lips searched eagerly for Razer's, but settled for any skin they could find.

Razer's lips found Val's and he kissed him as his hand went back to go find its former position.

Val occupied his time by going back to letting his tongue explore his boyfriend's mouth.

Razer did the same as he searched around for the fastener to Valen's pants.

Valen moaned with pleasure, speeding up the search by guiding Razer's hand right to it.

With a quick practiced movement Razer had them undone in a moment.

Slowly, Valen pulled off Razer's shirt, exposing bare skin that his lips quickly covered in kisses.

Razer moaned; his hands deciding that it was high time Valen's shirt was discarded as well.

Valen's hands began to search once again, this time finding their way to the button on his boyfriend's pants. Needless to say, it was a very short time before Razer's pants were off.

What happened next was no great mystery to anyone.

--

"Mother? Mother? Are you alright?"

Kaen opened her eyes blearily, blinking in the sunlight. Where was she? What was going on?

"Mother? Are you alright?"

She glanced up into what seemed to be her reflection. Except more miniature. _Way_ more miniature. "Who're you?" she finally said.

"My name's Ara."

"What happened?"

"You died. Father's terribly sad about it."

"I died?" Why didn't she remember dying? Then it dawned on her. "Did I die immediately after I fell back into the coma?"

"Yes," the little doppelganger nodded. "Immediately after. Father was rather shook up about it."

Kaen suddenly stood up, almost knocking the young girl over. "Is he here yet?"

"Who?"

"Erol!"

"No, he's not here yet. Actually, I don't think he's coming. Grandfather made sure of that."

"Grandfather?!" The woman looked confused.

"Yes. Aaric. Mother, you really must be shook up not to remember your own ancestor."

Everything suddenly fell into place. "Oh! You're my daughter!" That explained the resemblance…

"Unfortunately, she is." Another voice cut in, making Kaen jump. There, standing right behind her, stood her very own father.

"You!" she snarled, leaping back. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"The same as you. I'm dead," he said smoothly, inspecting his nails. "Of course, that was _your_ doing, wasn't it little one?"

"Stay away from us." Kaen moved to protect Ara. "I don't care if you're alive or dead – you're still dangerous!"

"Certainly, you freakish whore. And why protect _that_ abomination?" Faine glared at the little girl. "Slummer offspring…mixed with our noble blood."

"There's nothing noble about the crimes you committed."

"Ah yes… You would take some of my actions personally, wouldn't you?" He sighed and leaned against a tree. "But then, I take some of your actions personally. Breeding with riffraff, honestly! True, I didn't expect anything more of you, you pathetic waste of space."

"You're the one who turned me into what I am, not the other way around."

Ara took a step forward. "Back down. You have no right to speak to her. Not after what you've done."

"The thing speaks?" Faine chuckled. "Apparently it has brains in its head."

Kaen was done. "What do you want?"

He sighed, "His majesty wanted us to speak once more before I'm sent back to where I apparently belong."

"Okay. We've spoke. Now where's Aaric?"

As if called, an old man materialized right beside her. "Here I am. Faine? You are free to go."

The younger man nodded respectfully. "Yes." He shot a dirty look to his eldest child. "See if you can talk some sense into the whore."

"You are free to go," Aaric said firmly. He watched his grandson disappear in silence, then turned to Kaen. "I cannot stand that man."

She grinned. "Welcome to the club. There's a reason I killed him."

"I know." He sighed. "Now, I've come to send you back."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes really." Aaric cracked his knuckles in a very unpleasant manner. "I refuse to let both you and the heir die at the same time. I promised your poor husband that I'd give him immortality until you had a child, so you deserve the same."

"So you're going to send me back to a freezing hospital?"

"Yes."

"Is Ara coming?"

"Yes."

"When are we leaving?"

"Now."

And suddenly heaven faded out of sight, replaced by the image of over ten thousand volts of electricity rocketing through her system.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

Alright so...Chapter nineteen. Same stuff as normal. Erol and Razer belong to Naughty Dog. Kaen, Cayden, Valen and Jance are all ours.

That out of the way, on with the story.

* * *

Jance was still with his brother outside Kaen's room. No one had removed her body from the room yet. He sighed and looked at Erol. The redhead had fallen asleep on him a while ago, quite effectively trapping him there. He shook his head sadly. This was going to be hard on everyone.

A doctor came out of Kaen's room, looking rather flustered. "Everything's in an uproar! An absolute uproar! Did you hear that explosion?"

"What?! No...When?" Jance looked around, had he managed to fall asleep?

"About an hour ago! It's chaos out there! Blew up half the slums, I swear to god! Oh, if her Ladyship were alive!" he exclaimed. "And haven't I seen you before?"

Jance felt color drain his face, not the slums, not again..."What? Oh...maybe..."

"Weren't you the guy that tried to kill his girlfriend? Pretty little thing? Uh… Kyra was her name, right? Stayed in the ICU for weeks! Was that you?" The medical man chuckled. "She just got married a week ago if I remember correctly."

"WHAT?!" Kyra had gotten _married_?! He stared at the doctor horrified. After everything he'd done… he felt like his heart would explode from the news.

"Yeah, to some guy that she knew from school. He was absolutely taken with her… But you'd understand that, wouldn't you? He always described her as reserved, quiet, calm, collected… That sound right to you?"

"No. It doesn't..."

"Really? She came back later and that's exactly how I found her. This sort of haunted look about her, as if everything she cared about had abandoned her. Like a dog left in the rain. Maybe when you attacked her, you messed up her head."

"Oh god..."

"Yeah, a shame really. So pretty and so sad. Oh well, he'll make her a very happy woman. He's got everything she could want. A life of luxury, a good career lined up for her, after a while he might give her some kids… She'll forget this ever happened. You'll become just a bad dream I guess. Except for those scars…"

"I never meant to hurt her…" Why was the pain still so strong? She'd moved on…just as Valen had said. He _still_ loved her. He sat up straighter, gently nudging Erol away so as not to wake him. His right hand clenched and he could feel her name, still in his palm as the skin around the scars stretched awkwardly around the letters.

"Well, meant to or not, she's still a little disfigured. Not that'll matter in the long run, since a man was still willing to have her…" the doctor shrugged.

Jance put his head in his hands.

"Something wrong?"

Just the fact that his sister-in-law had recently died, taking his niece or nephew to the grave and now he'd gotten news that the love of his life had married another man. "No," he lied.

"Oh, okay. You were just looking as if someone had told you the world was about to end. I was worried that you actually still thought that young lady was worth it. You know, your love. She's not the type that you love forever. Nah, not a girl like her."

That _hurt_, but he managed to mask it. "Just had a rough week..."

"I can imagine. Her ladyship dying, the heir dying… Terrible, terrible. Your brother must be quite heartbroken. She was such a pretty little thing…"

Jance nodded solemnly, his own heart felt like it had been set on fire and someone had begun to stomp on the ashes. Beside him Erol's eyes opened slowly and he sat up.

"Tell me that was all just a hideous dream."

"Nope," the doctor said. "Your wife and child are indeed dead. The slums did just explode. You are indeed sitting here with your brother, asking if it is all a dream."

"Hang on...The slums exploded?" he shot a horrified look at Jance, "You don't think..."

Jance nodded, "I think it might be, I don't know the area yet. I was waiting for you to wake up before going to find out. So, that being said..." he stood, "I think I'll go and see if our - well I guess _my_ - life just got further ruined. See you." And without giving Erol a chance to say anything he promptly walked away.

"I think I offended him somehow…"

Erol rubbed his eyes, "What were you saying to him?"

"Oh, he's Kyra's ex, right? I was just telling him that she got married last week."

Erol moaned, "You didn't..."

"I did. Thought he might like to know. The man she married was just like her too: quiet, calm, collected… Nothing like your wife, that's for sure."

"That's nothing like Kyra..." he sighed and ran a hand back through his hair, "Have you moved her yet?"

"No. We don't _have_ anywhere to move her. However, I _am_ going to lock the door behind me, so no one else goes in. It's chaos downstairs. Now, for the real reason I came here: do you need anything sir?"

Erol shook his head, "No, thanks." Just time...

"Alright. Please stay here - we can't lose you too, your lordship."

He nodded slowly. The moment he was alone would be the perfect chance to try again...

Once the doctor left Erol pulled out his gun, setting it to his forehead. One shot. His finger tensed on the trigger…

And abruptly, all the lights in the building went out. Screams of fear, shock and horror could be heard from every floor. Then there was silence. Dead, hopeless silence that quite clearly announced that all was lost.

Erol, against his better judgment - his better judgment being rather screwed up as it involved a bullet through the brain - lowered his gun and looked around. The dark sent chills up his spine.

All of a sudden, there was an explosion of light. A massive electric shock flowed throughout the building, so powerful that some of the electronics actually exploded. But that was far from the strangest thing. The strangest thing was presently locked behind a hospital room's door, attached to a broken heart monitor.

--

Kaen's eyes slowly opened, stiff from being dead so long. Thirteen hours it had been since she's last looked at the hideous walls that made up her room. With a sigh, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and tried to put a foot down. Tried being the main word - the floor was an ice cube, too cold to touch. Kaen swore as she curled back up on her bed.

--

Erol blinked in confusion, he thought he'd just heard...but no... He couldn't have. Still, it seemed to be that there'd been a sound from Kaen's room. Grief had to have driven him nuts.

--

Kaen slid further back into her covers. It was _cold_. She glared hatefully at the floor for a moment, then moved so she could just reach the floor with the tip of her big toe. This time her cursing was much louder as the ground seemed especially cold right where she had touched it.

--

He had to have gone absolutely raving mad, he'd heard it again. Maybe he'd actually pulled the trigger and this was all just Aaric's idea of a joke. Either way... he walked over to the door to her room and put his hand on the knob. "You know you've lost it when..." he muttered as he turned it.

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" she cried, trying once again to take a step. "CAN'T THEY AFFORD HEATING?!"

He pushed the door open, already an ecstatic grin on his face, "Not when the power's off they can't."

"But that power's _on_. Aaric promised that I'd be able to walk on the floors dammit!" She glared at the ground spitefully.

Erol walked over to her, "Well it was off for a while, and I'm sure they're more focused on trying to work life-support than on heating the rest of the building." He paused, "This part is _actually_ a dream, isn't it?"

"I hope not. That would really suck. I mean, I already had to escape my family _once_ and I'm not in the mood to do it again." She made a face. "I can only hear the name 'freakish whore' so many times and I've certainly reached my limit."

He wrapped his arms around her, "You're not a freakish whore. Your family's just comprised of absolute gits." He kissed her forehead, "If this actually is a dream… I think I might die of heartbreak."

"I hope you don't," she said with a sigh. "And I know I'm not a freakish whore. He just kept saying it because of Ara."

"Ara?"

"Your daughter. She called herself Ara."

"I see… So it was a girl."

"Yes. It's a girl. Not was, she's still alive."

"Is she?"

"Obviously." She rolled her eyes and finally hugged him back.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his nose against her cheek.

"It's good to be home. Especially since you didn't come."

"Sorry, Jance wouldn't let me."

"I was cold!"

"Sorry."

"It's alright. However…"

"However…?"

"I'm cold."

He rubbed her arms slowly, trying to work heat back into her.

"Thank you. You're being rather quiet."

"It's still sort of sinking in that you're here."

"Oh… Well, I'm back. Much to your horror."

"To my joy."

"Well, whatever. I'm the worst thing that's happened to you, but…"

"But I love you." He kissed her.

She grinned and kissed him back. "And I love you. I have a request now…which sounds really off topic."

"Yes sweetheart."

"Can you help me leave? My legs are weak and the floor is cold."

"Alright," he pulled her up into his arms, still surprised by how light she seemed.

"Why do you always look so surprised when you pick me up?"

"Because you're lighter than I think you should be."

"Compliment or insult?"

"Just a comment."

"Oh. Alrighty them."

"So…you're back…"

"Still swelling on that? Yes Erol, I'm back to torment you and this city."

"Thank god."

"I did."

He laughed and proceeded to take her out of the hospital room. "Think I have to check you out? I mean you were dead so…"

"Don't bother. It's actually be quite funny to have everyone think I'm dead. Except for you."

Erol nodded, "Whatever you say sweetheart."

"Really?"

"Sure," he shrugged.

"Promise not to leave this time?"

"I promise."

"Good. I'm going to sleep now."

He nodded. "Go for it."

So she did.

--

In the mayhem caused by the explosion, Erol left the hospital with his wife, unchallenged by anyone. He took her back into the manor where he set her in their room before deciding that it _might _be a good idea to tell Cayden they were back.

Cayden, at that moment, was attempting to kill himself. He's failed her, her and the heir. How could he have been so stupid? He'd let her down because of sheer jealousy – jealousy that had been useless in the long run.

Erol walked to the bodyguard's office and knocked. "Cayden!"

"Yes?" he said coldly, placing the gun down for a moment.

Erol opened the door and walked in. "Hey."

"Oh, it's you."

"Who'd you think it was?"

"Death."

"Awfully morose, aren't you?"

"I've decided to kill myself."

"Oh. Don't let my brother hear you say that. He's taken it upon himself to stop all suicide attempts."

"He won't. I won't let him. I must do this."

"Kaen won't be pleased if you do."

"But she's _dead_. I must protect her in both worlds!"

"She's not dead."

"She is dead. The report said so! The news said so! Dead! Like Valen!"

"Good thing too. Val's still alive."

"What?! Are you insane?!" Obviously the stress had driven Erol mad!

"Oh probably, but they're both fine."

"Next you're going to be telling me Val found a boyfriend and apples grown on oak trees!"

Erol nodded. "Yep. All true."

"What?! Are you crazy?! Val's dead, Kaen's dead and apples grow on apple trees!"

"Maybe in _your_ warped reality."

"Prove it then. Prove at least _one _is true."

"Alright. Come." Erol turned and walked out the door.

Cayden glared, got up and followed reluctantly.

He led Cayden back to the master bedroom. "She's asleep," he said, opening the door.

"Okay…" the bodyguard said with a fake smile, "She's asleep."

"Yep."

"Where is she?"

Erol jerked a thumb into the room, "In there."

With a sigh, the huge man walked into the room. Indeed, Kaen _was _lying on her bed, but it was obvious she was dead. Slightly blue tinged lips, ice white skin, closed eyes, still body… He turned his eyes away. Erol had gone and brought his wife's corpse back home with him.

Erol brushed past the large man and shook his wife's shoulder, "Wake up sweetheart."

She didn't move.

He shook her shoulder again.

She smacked him. "Let me sleep."

He sighed, "See? She's fine!"

Cayden stared – Kaen was alive? No, it couldn't be! He'd gone insane too!

Kaen rolled over and buried her head beneath the covers. "Now you've awoken me, what do you want?"

"To prove to your suicidal bodyguard that I do not belong in an asylum."

"Does he think that? Well, no, you don't. Actually, you sort of do now. I can't believe you woke me up!"

"Sorry."

"I will one day expect compensation."

Erol nodded. "Of course. Sorry for waking you sweetheart."

"Good enough."

Cayden stared.

Erol glanced back at the other man. "Convinced?"

"My lady…" He ran forward and smothered Erol in a bear hug. "My lord! You saved her! You saved her!"

"Um…" Cayden had never actually called him 'my lord' before and Erol was sure he felt his spine crack. It was extremely awkward…

"I cannot believe it! My lord, you saved her!"

"Er…"

"How can I ever thank you?!"

"You could stop crushing me for starters."

Cayden jumped back. "Of course!"

Erol took a breath. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He moved and knelt next to his employer. "Oh…my lady you live!"

She grunted unhappily.

"Cayden, let her go back to sleep. Coming back from the dead is exhausting."

The bodyguard jumped up and left the room.

Erol followed him.

Kaen sighed and fell asleep.

"So…" Erol began conversationally, speaking to Cayden, "Still want to look at me like I'm nuts?"

"No my lord."

"Good."

"Yes my lord."

"You can ease up on the 'my lord', it's weird."

"Yes Mr. Erol."

Erol resisted to roll his eyes, it was slightly better.

"Do you need anything more sir?"

He shook his head, "No, thank you Cayden."

"Sir." He saluted and went back to his office.

Erol stood there, blinking for a moment, not sure he could believe the sudden change in attitude. He shrugged, wondered how long it would last and wandered off to go occupy himself.

He had barely started his trek around the manor before his cell phone rang. He pulled it out and answered, "Hello?"

"What's up?"

"Hey Val. I just narrowly escaped Cayden hauling me off to a mental institution."

"Very nice. Did you bring Kaen's corpse back with you?"

"Um…not exactly."

"Live body?"

"Yes."

"Very nice. I meant to come visit yesterday, just to see her dead, but I was preoccupied. How is she?"

"Tired, but alive. What in the world were you _doing?_" It wasn't like Valen to play around with his priorities. Erol had known for ages Kaen normally topped the list.

"That is _none_ of your business."

"Still with Razer then?"

"That is _also_ none of your business!" His blush could be heard through the phone.

"Oh god… Val…" How _could _he even after knowing Razer didn't honestly care?

"What?!" A pause. "Arbner was lying, by the way. I made sure. Triple checked, as it were."

"Well if you're sure." Erol paused, a semi-sadistic grin appearing on his face. "Are you sore?"

"EROL!"

Erol laughed, holding the phone further from his ear.

"That is another of many things that are not your business."

He shrugged, "Just wondering."

"Keep your wonderings to yourself. I don't want to hear them."

He laughed again.

"God in heaven…and why did you even jump to that conclusion?"

"I can tell. Like the fact I can tell you're currently bright red."

"That last one is correct. I am currently the color of a fire hydrant."

"And the first…?"

"If you're really _so_ curious, everything you've been saying is correct. Happy?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to go drown myself now."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am. It'll explain the color of my face."

"Well, have fun."

"Screw you." He hung up irritably.

Erol put his phone away and laughed.


	21. Chapter Twenty

So... Here we are again with chapter twenty. Same old same old really. To keep things short and sweet: Erol and Razer belong to Naughty Dog, everyone else is ours.

That being said, on with the story.

* * *

Kaen woke up two days later, finally rested. She yawned and stretched, then curled up again when Ara kicked her in the stomach.

The movement woke Erol who had decided to stay with her and had barely left her side since the phone call with Valen. He sat up, "Morning sweetheart."

"Mhm…" She curled up against him as well as she could without actually sitting up.

"How're you feeling?"

"Better. Ara's _really _awake this morning. How are you?"

"Can't complain," he brushed some hair away from her face and leaned down to kiss her.

She smiled and blinked sleepily, "What've I missed?"

"Cayden's started calling me 'my lord' or 'Mr. Erol' at every opportunity. Valen determined that Razer does _not_ work for Arbner. And Jance is more depressed than I knew it was possible to be."

"So everything's back to normal?"

He nodded, "Yep."

"Good."

He sighed and lay back on his elbows.

"Something wrong?"

"Not at all."

"That's good too."

He grinned and kissed her forehead.

"You know, I'm liking life today, even if it _is_ cold."

Erol rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. "Better?"

"A little bit. What would I do without you?"

"Be cold."

"This is true. And if I wasn't here, you'd _stay_ warm."

"I stay warm anyway."

"I suppose…But I sap heat. Like a little warmth parasite."

He nuzzled her. "I don't mind."

"That's good. I don't want to be a burden."

His lips brushed her cheek, "Don't worry. You never will be."

"Okay. I believe you."

"I should probably get up soon…"

"To do what?"

He shrugged, "Just something that's been nagging me for a while."

"What's that?"

"Nothing much, checking up on," he nearly cringed as he said it, "My extended family."

"Your dad and such?"

"Yeah."

"Can I come?"

"Umm…sure…if you want…I guess. I'm making Jance come for sure…I might need the backup."

"That bad?"

"You have _no_ idea."

"Ouch. Well, I'm sure it'll be fine. They might murder _me_, but you'll still most likely survive."

"Physically…" he muttered to himself.

"Aww…"

He rolled his eyes and sat up.

"You're leaving me."

"I'm getting dressed."

"Then you're leaving me."

"You make it sound like a cardinal sin."

"It is in my opinion."

"Then please forgive me." And he got up.

"I always do."

He got dressed and sat down on the bed, "I'll let you know if I change my mind about going."

"Okay love."

He brushed some hair away from her forehead, "I'll be back in a while."

"I'll see you in a while."

He nodded and got up, pulling out his cell as he left the room. He dialed as he walked a little way down the hall. This wasn't going to be good…

"Hello?" It was his little sister Etain.

"Hello, is Da- Buir there?"

"I think so. Who's calling?"

"Um…Erol…"

"Okay." A pause. "He'll be here in a second."

"Okay. Thanks."

"So…are you a crazy person?"

"No." What sort of question was that?

"Oh. Okay. Oh, here's Dad." She passed the phone.

"Yes?"

"Hi Dad. It's been a while."

"Who the hell is this?"

"Erol…"

"Bullshit. He's dead."

"You wish."

"I do. Why are you calling me?"

"Oh, just seeing if you're still alive. Possibly trying to arrange a meeting."

"Stay away from my family."

"That'll be hard to do since I'm part of it and your oldest shares the house with me."

"Jance is dead too!"

"Nope."

"You're insane!"

"Maybe."

"If you come, I will call the cops and they will put you _away_. Possibly even take you to that Black Ops place."

"See you at one then?"

"Fine." He hung up.

Erol clicked the phone off and leaned against the wall. This was going to be even worse than he'd anticipated. He hoped there was going to be enough of him left by the end of it to be there for Kaen. Already he was regretting his decision.

--

Erol left at about half past twelve after telling Kaen and his brother to meet up with him later. He figured it'd be best to try and get the mental assault out of the way _before_ they got there.

It didn't take long to get to the slums and as every step he took towards the house had him wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Why was he willingly doing this to himself? It didn't matter. He just was. He took a breath to steel himself and knocked on the door.

The door was opened by a girl of about twelve or thirteen. "Yeah?"

"Hey, is your Dad here?" Erol asked.

"I think so. One sec. Who's asking?"

"Same as who was on the phone earlier, Erol."

She stared. "You know he's dead, right?"

"I'm not. But I'm sure no one bothered to inform you of that so-" He was cut off when a teenage boy came into view.

"Etain who's-" he stared at Erol, "Etain, get away from him!"

She did as he said. "Do you think it's really him Jade?"

"I don't know. Go get Dad."

Erol rolled his eyes.

The girl nodded, then ran off to presumably find her father.

"Who the hell are you?" Jade snapped glaring at Erol, and crossing his arms over his chest.

"The brother you've been conditioned to hate."

Jade snorted, "Liar."

"So here's the little liar." A man had come into the entry way, closely followed by Etain.

Erol looked at him, "Hey Dad."

"Who the hell are you?"

"What is with you guys and asking me that?" It was getting on his nerves.

"Because you can obviously not be Erol. He's dead. I watched the clip myself. He's _gone_. Thank god."

"Ouch. Still hated."

"Erol was an idiotic, ditching brat with good for nothing friends. And before he died it was even said he was dating that little weirdo up at the manor…"

"Thank you Dad. I needed the update on my own life. Though you're out of date. I married, as you say, the little weirdo."

The older man snorted with disgust. "That's low, even for someone like him. I mean, _Kaen_ I wouldn't force _anyone_ on that freak of nature. Now, why don't you come in and we can talk about your identity crisis."

Erol shrugged, "Works for me." He brushed past Jade as he entered the house. "By the way, Jance's going to turn up in a while, so..."

"Jance is also dead."

"No, he never died, just went missing. He's still around, horribly disfigured, but still alive."

"Why don't you just take a seat." Erol's father had led them into the living room and was gesturing around at the various, mismatched seats.

Erol shrugged, "Alright." He decided to take the couch. "You know it's actually me..."

Jade scowled at the redhead, a look of utter distrust plain on his face.

Buir took a seat as well. "Jade, sit down if you're staying. And as for you… What can you do to prove you're actually Solah's son?"

Jade glared at Erol and sat next to his father.

"Well, there are various things you could ask. I remember the last dinner we had when Mom was alive, though I doubt you can so... Just ask me something only I'd know."

"What happened when you were eight."

"Oh, _that's_ specific. Mom was murdered. Is that the answer you'd like?"

"By who."

"Faine. Gang lord at the time._ You_ owed him money."

His father glared. "It was not my fault I owed him money - the whole slums owes him money! Well, now we owe his little brat of a daughter thousands of dollars, but… In any case, alright, so you are Erol. Why the hell are you in my house?"

"_Don't_ call my wife a brat."

"You didn't answer my question. And yes, I'll call her whatever I damn well like. This is _my_ house."

"I'm here, because you let me in. Thought I'd see if you were still alive, is that against the rules?"

"Why do you care?!" Jade snapped, "You _left_!"

"Yes, Jade is right. Why do you care?"

Erol shrugged, "Honestly, I have no idea. It probably had to do with the recent explosion..."

"It didn't hit us. Obviously. God, couldn't you just track them on those little computers you use up there in your damn house? Why are you even here? Won't the slummer air burn your rarified lungs? What will your precious wife say when she smells the scent of poverty _she_ created?"

"She won't care. Did I forget to mention that, in all likelihood, Jance is bringing her?"

"I'm not having that pathetic excuse for a human being in my household. She's even worse than _you_, you sniveling little bastard!"

Erol cringed.

Jade smirked, looking as though he thought himself superior.

"Look at you, curling up against the slightest truth! Shall I continue? Then allow me to further your education! You are a useless waste of space with a power hungry mindset! First, you go and make yourself commander by destroying all your friendships, then you go and marry that _thing_, conveniently forgetting all about your family, a family that tried to care for you! But you didn't ever care back!"

"You never cared!"

"I _tried_ to care for you! _Tried_, but you never gave a damn about us. _No_, you were too important, too much of a momma's boy for any normal family! So you go to camp to toughen up and then decided to go join the KG, just like any other wimp that was afraid of his own shadow! Like you were the day Solah was killed!"

"Sorry for living."

"I wish you didn't!"

It hurt like a blow to the gut.

"Get out of my house."

"You sure you don't want to use me as more of a verbal punching bag? Or maybe let Jade have a go. Let's hear all the lies you've poisoned his mind with."

Jade glared daggers at Erol.

"I have never poisoned my children's minds. Jade, say what you will."

The teenager smirked and was about to speak when there was a knock at the door.

Etain walked into the living room a second later. "Jance is back!" she said happily. "Sadly, he's not alone."

Her father sighed. "Send them in."

Jance limped into the living room, "Hey Dad, Jade." He nodded at both of them. "Erol, nice to see you're surviving."

Kaen followed him inside. "Yay. You're alive."

Buir got up. "Hello Jance. Won't you sit down?"

Jance managed something close to a smile. "Sure." He sat next to Erol and waved at Jade who seemed to be in shock.

His father did not offer Kaen a seat. In fact, he refused to even look in her direction. Turning to Jance, he said, "So, how are you?"

Jance shrugged, "Been better."

"That sucks. Anything I can do to help?"

"No."

Jade continued to stare, "What _happened_ to you?!"

Jance waved off the question replying, "Stuff."

Erol beckoned to his wife, gesturing to the space on his other side. There was no reason for her to have to stand.

She sat down beside him gratefully. Her back hurt.

"Did I say she could sit down?"

Strangely enough it was Jade who answered, "Just cause you've got a biased opinion of her doesn't mean you've got to be inconsiderate."

Erol stared at his half brother. _That _was unexpected.

Buir was surprised. "I didn't know you actually _liked_ her. She's, you know, kind of a waste of space, not too much unlike your brother… And everyone I've ever met wishes she'd never been born…"

"Doesn't give you the right to be a jerk. That strikes me as something _he_," Jade indicated Erol, "Would do."

"This is true. Why'd you invite her again?"

"She wanted to come. And meet you. She's heard two versions of the same story and wants to see what's more accurate." Jance said.

Erol nodded, slipping an arm around his wife.

She curled up against him and sighed. Everyone here hated her. That was just fantastic.

"Well, she's met us. It's because of her you do not have your original mother and that we are living in the slums. _Because of her_. Do you understand that?"

"Her father. _Not_ her." Erol snapped.

"Same difference. Her family. One that you became a part of… Though I don't know how willingly…"

"Completely willingly."

Jade's sour expression seemed to be having a hard time deciding who to direct itself at. His father or Erol.

"You wanted to be part of the brat's family?"

"I _love_ her. Something you don't seem to understand. What wife are you on now Dad? I haven't seen Shari, or are just transiting at the moment?" Erol wasn't overly prepared to just back down anymore.

"I love my wife and family more than you can _ever_ imagine. Just because you decided to ditch out gives you no right to act as if being married into the most power hungry, abusive and destructive family in existence is any better!"

Jance was on his feet and in the middle of the room between his father and brother. "Come on, you guys need to get over this."

"Stay out of this Jance!" his father warned. "This is between your brother and me."

Jance growled.

"What was that?!"

Jade blinked, "I think he growled..."

"Jance! Leave it." Erol said. "This _is_ just between me and him."

Kaen sighed, "Families are weird…"

"Well, you wouldn't know, would you? Since you _massacred_ yours!" the older man snapped. "And it's the fate for your baby too, isn't it? To be slaughtered by some weirdo!"

"DAD!" That was too far. _Way_ too far. Erol stood stepping to stand next to Jance, "You will _never_ say that again."

"I can and I will. Why Erol? I may have been able to forgive you if you hadn't married her… I wanted to forgive you! But now…"

"Why? Because I love her. And I can't believe that you _ever_ wanted to forgive me."

Jance put a hand on Erol's shoulder, "Cool it."

Erol whipped around his eyes blazing, Jance took a step back removing his hand.

Kaen stood up. "Yeah… So, I'm gonna go now… Cause I seem to be causing an argument…" She scootched out of the room nervously.

Buir laughed. "Triumph, I suppose. Got the girl out of our hair and out the door. Well, I'll go make sure about the out the door part." He followed the gang mistress out of the room.

Erol glared and moved to follow, strangely enough both his brothers seemed to follow suit.

"Well, I see now why Erol didn't want me to come…" Kaen muttered to herself as she took a step out the front door. Or _tried_ to take a step, because the moment her foot was outside the threshold, she felt herself being pushed roughly down the stairs by Erol's father.

All of Buir's sons saw it. Jade stared horrified at his father, looking like he was almost about to be sick. Erol immediately was out the door to check on his wife. And there was a long awkward silence. A silence Jance decided to break, along with his father's nose.

"You bastard Dad." The scarred man snapped, "What the hell did you do that for?!"

"I wanted her out of my house. And what the hell did you do _this_," he pointed at his nose, "for?"

Jance bared his teeth for a moment before replying, "You shoved her down the stairs. She's family. I'm insulted."

Erol knelt next to Kaen, "Are you alright sweetheart?"

"Pain. I just was shoved down a flight of stairs. Remind me to smile at him someday."

"Um...right..."

"Just let it go… It would not be a happy smile. It would be a 'you shoved me down a flight of stairs but who cares, I still won't make you pay any mortgage' smile."

"Ah, I see. Need a hand up?"

"That would be very nice of you. I would also appreciate a hug."

He helped her up and proceeded to pull her into a loving embrace. "Better?"

"A lot. That hurt." In more way than one…

"I bet."

"Yeah. Why did I want to meet your family again?"

"I don't know. I tried to warn you. Or I think I did..."

"You did. And I was an idiot. I thought you _might_ have a normal family, judging on how Jance turned out."

Erol shrugged, "Jade actually didn't seem as brainwashed as I was expecting, there may still be hope for him."

"I hope so. He has a spark. So does your replacement."

"Hell there _might_ be a tiny, barely there, insignificant, shred of hope for Dad. But I'm doubting that."

"There's hope for everyone. You proved that quite well when it came to me…"

He smirked and kissed her forehead.

She leaned her head on his chest. "Well, unless you have something to say to your family, can we go home now?"

Erol glanced at the door, where his father and two brothers were still visible, and proceeded to flip them off. "Jance that's not for you and only partially for Jade." He said before turning back to Kaen. "Now we can go."

"Okay. Thanks." She placed a hand on her stomach. "I hope Ara's okay."

"Me too."

"She should be. And Erol?"

"Yeah?"

"Do _you_ think I might go crazy and hurt her?"

"No. I don't."

"Okay. That's good. I want to have a normal family."

"You've already lost that chance. You're related to Jance now."

"I'm married to _you_ now. I meant that we wouldn't try and kill each other at every opportunity."

"We won't. I know we won't. Come on, let's go."

She nodded.

Buir glared at her for a moment before turning to his eldest son. "So… Want to stay for dinner? We're having steak."

Jance grinned sadistically. "Hell yes."


	22. Chapter Twenty One

Hey people. Our usual disclaimer: Kaen, Ara, Val, Arbner, the gang members and Erol's family (excluding him, of course) belong to us. Everything and everyone else belongs to Naughty Dog.

Enjoy!

* * *

It didn't take too long to get back to the manor, Erol spent most of the return trip in silence, mulling over the things his father had said. Had they actually tried to care? It didn't matter. It was all past tense, they didn't anymore.

Once back home he looked at his wife, "I am _so_ sorry that Dad was like that."

"It's alright. Compared to my father, he was rather nice."

"He actually can be. When he doesn't think I'm around."

"Maybe one day I can see for myself." She winced and put a hand on her stomach.

"You alright?"

"Sort of… Ever since I fell down those stairs Ara's been acting oddly…"

"Oddly how?"

"Pains. Very odd pains."

"Like what?" That could _not_ be good.

"I don't know how to describe them… You don't think…"

"I do."

"Well, that sucks. I was planning on easing in to the idea of having to die again."

"I don't think you will."

"I hope I don't. Should we go to the hospital or should we just wait until we _really_ need to get to the hospital?"

"We should probably go now..."

"Very well. Let's go…"

Erol paged a limo as they were heading back towards the door.

"This'll be interesting. Does Val know I'm alive again?"

He nodded and suddenly found himself struggling not to burst out laughing.

"What happened?"

"We had the most..._interesting_ phone conversation."

"Tell."

"Well...He inadvertently told me that he went all the way with Razer...I could practically hear the blood rushing to his face."

"That's a terribly creepy thought… How bad of a blush do you think it was?"

"He said 'fire hydrant' I'm thinking maybe a shade or two darker."

"That's absolutely hilarious. Would've loved to see his expression… But hey! Isn't Razer a backstabbing, double crossing jerk? Why would Val do that?"

"Apparently Arbner was lying about that."

"Oh… Then let me guess. They got in argument and things just progressed?"

"He hung up before I got details, but I can see that's how it went. Quite the 'making up' stage."

"Up to out. Some stuff I don't want to know."

"Yeah..."

"Why do you do these things?"

"Because."

"Because you're you?"

"Yeah pretty much." He led her out to where the limo was waiting.

She followed him, trying to ignore the pains. "You're a very odd person. Anyway, it's good Val knows I'm alive. We'll get an interesting article out of this."

"I'm sure we will. You doing okay?"

"Well, other than the fact I'm having a baby…"

"I was referring to that..."

"Oh. Like I keep thinking or saying, it's very uncomfortable. But it'll be worth it."

"Hopefully."

"It will be. Just wait. If I survive having the baby, what could go wrong?"

"Lots of things."

"Point. But nothing _too_ bad. Like sudden poverty or something on my end."

Erol laughed nervously, "I don't think that's possible."

"I know. The chances of that are about the same as the chances you'd abandon me or something."

"I'd _never_ abandon you."

"I know love. You won't leave me. I'd die if you did."

"The attempt would probably kill me."

"Yeah…" She closed her eyes and concentrated on ignoring the pain.

He gently took her hand.

She tried to calm her breathing. It was going to be alright - Erol was with her. It was going to be totally alright.

He gave her hand a sympathetic squeeze. "It'll be fine."

"I hope so. I mean, this can't last forever…"

"No, it can't."

In the end, the labour lasted twenty four hours.

Erol was scared out of his mind; he'd barely released Kaen's hand since taking it earlier. He gently wiped some of the sweat off her forehead, feeling utterly lost.

"Remind me never to do this again."

He nodded, "I will."

"Okay." Kaen closed her eyes, pain was overwhelming her. The doctor had taken her baby away for cleaning and all she wanted was to have her daughter back.

"I'm proud of you sweetheart."

"Thank you, thank you. I'll probably be here all week."

He ran his free hand down her cheek.

"What's it like to be a dad?"

"It's a nice feeling." It didn't feel much different; though he was sure once he got a good look at his daughter it'd be stronger. "What's it like to be a mom?"

"Painful."

He laughed quietly and leaned over to kiss her forehead.

The doctor reentered. "Well, I can't bring her out right now. You'll have to wait a little while…"

Kaen sat up. "Why?" she snapped, ignoring the pain that had come with the movement.

"There's…uh…"

"There's what?" Erol asked, voice dead serious.

"There's something wrong with your daughter… Her reactions to things are…"

"Are what?"

"Equivalent to that of a six year old."

Kaen grinned. "Excellent."

Erol looked at the doctor, "I've missed something. What's the problem with that? Other than the fact it's really unnatural."

"Well… We need to do a few experiments and such… You should be able to get her back in around five days."

Kaen nodded. "And I'm getting out of here in three days, right?"

"Yes Miss."

Erol nodded slowly, that sucked…

"Can I go home sooner?" She _hated_ hospitals.

"We'll see." The doctor turned away. "I'll be back later. I need to go check on Ara."

The new mother sighed and closed her eyes. "Can I sleep now?" she said, lying back down.

"Of course you can."

"Will you stay?"

"Unless you have the strange, uncharacteristic desire for me to leave I'll stay."

"Stay." Kaen grinned, then fell into a deep sleep.

As it turned out, it _was_ three days before Kaen got out of the hospital. But she didn't go home immediately – no, she'd received an urgent call from Ashelin to meet her at the palace with Erol. So they went.

Ashelin met them looking dead serious, "I've got some bad news."

"What is it this time?" the crime lady asked with a sigh.

"There was an attack on your house, you two need to part ways for a while until we figure out who's behind it. As far as the attacker knows, you're both dead."

"Alright," Kaen nodded, "Simple enough. Erol?"

"Yes?"

"Will you part ways?"

"Well…if it's our only option."

"It is." Ashelin nearly snapped.

"Very well. This is what we'll do. Erol, you need to quickly go back to the manor. Under our bed is some stuff to help you go undercover. It'll name a gang that you can hide with for the time being. As for me…" Kaen knew where she'd have to go, "I'll figure it out as I go. We clear?"

He nodded and pulled her close for a moment, "I love you…"

"I love you too. Good luck. Stay safe." She broke away and left. Time to go to her new home.

He watched her go before giving Ashelin a nod of farewell and he departed.

Erol snuck back to the manor, heading to his and Kaen's room, he found the box and took it. He changed quickly and followed the directions in the box. There was an address and a black gem as well as something that supposedly contained information that the gang would need. He sighed and left to head down to the address.

Erol entered the building tentatively, it was a bar. He looked around, how he supposed to find the people he needed to meet with?  
White looked up from her seat nearby the entrance upon sensing the newcomer's entrance. "Who's that?" She asked Red, who sat to her left.

"I don't recognize him. Blue?"

"Not I," said the other man, "Gold?"

The third man shook his head, "Never seen him. Wonder who he is."

He glanced around, picking up the sound of colors replacing nouns as people spoke. He tried to pinpoint where the voices had come from. Spying a group of four – one woman and three men – he decided to head over.

"Well I suspect we are about to find out." The woman sighed as he approached, "Who are you?" she asked him.

He held up the black gem, "Ezekiel."

"Haven't seen you before. I suspect you are loyal to our lady?"

He extended his left hand, exposing the scars, "Loyalty sworn in blood."

"Excellent." Blue pulled Erol into his lap. "Can we keep him?"

White smiled, "If he wishes. More likely if _she_ wishes."

"The lady gives me to you until such a time as she requires my services once more." Why was he in some random man's lap? He mentally shrugged it off, might as well go along with it.

"Glorious…" Blue brushed his lips against Erol's neck, "You seem like a nice guy."

"One moment Blue. Two questions before he stays," Red got up, "First, do you have the information? Second, what's with the tattoos?"

Erol held out the package containing the information. "The tattoos? Oh…" Shoot, time to wing it… "I was a racing fanatic when I was younger, idolized Erol, hero worshipped so to say. I rather regret them now."

"Good enough." He took the papers. "He stays."

"Good," the first man went back to attacking the newcomer's neck.

White pulled Red back down. "Down boy. Very well, Ezekiel. Welcome to your new home. How you enjoy it as much as we will."

Erol smirked, "I believe I will," he said, turning his attention to Blue and – mind revolted by his action – promptly began to mimic exactly what was being done to him.

If only he knew what he was getting himself into.

-----------------------------------

Kaen stared at the sky as she walked around her new home. Rain wasn't far away – a discomforting thought. But she'd have to get used to it, since she wasn't sure how long she'd be hiding in an alley in the slums.

"Hey sweetheart."

The woman whirled around to face a group of about four guys. One, probably the leader, was flipping a knife between his fingers. Her heart froze along with the rest of her body.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing all alone in a cold alley?" the man with the knife came closer. "Don't worry; we can help keep each other warm."

She tried to move, but her feet refused. One of her worst nightmares was about to come true and she could do nothing to stop it.

Wherever her husband was, Kaen desperately hoped he was doing better than her. Nothing could compare to the horror she was about to face – a horror she'd end up facing hundreds of times by the time she escaped her new life. He _had_ to be doing better. He _had _to.

It was this thought that got her through her first night in the slums.

-----------------------------------

By the time nearly a year had passed, the ex-crime lady was used to things like rape, as much as you could get used to it that is. In her spare time Kaen worked the streets, making as much money as possible to keep her and her young daughter alive. True, Ara was living with Torn and Ashelin at the palace and didn't really need financial support but Kaen felt it right as mother to try and support her child.

Anyway, when she wasn't on the streets, Kaen worked as the sleaziest bar in the slums as a barmaid sort of thing. It was a rather lonely job, or had been until three months before. Back in September, a boy of around sixteen began working there too. Not so unusual and usually Kaen wouldn't have noticed, but this boy was special – it was Jade, Erol's younger brother. Before long, the pair was extremely close by sheer accident. It made Kaen feel safer to be around someone she sort of knew and rather liked.

So, time ticked on and soon enough it was close to Christmas.

Jade pulled on his jacket and walked over to Kaen, or as he knew her, Kaylee. "Is your shift over?" he knew if it wasn't it would be soon, their hours were _extremely_ similar.

"In about ten seconds I suspect." She glanced up at the clock, "Okay, now it's over. What's up?"

"I thought you might want to come back home with me, you shouldn't be traipsing around on your own. Everyone would love to see you again."

"That sounds like a great idea. Thanks Jade; that would be nice. I miss your family."

He looked at her for a moment before pulling his jacket off and putting it around her shoulders, "They'll be glad to see you. Come on."

She tugged the jacket closer around her and followed him out the door. It was funny – when she was Kaen, Jade's family hated her, but as Kaylee she was nearly part of the family. Obviously her change of name and station made a big difference.

It was freezing out and Jade repressed a shiver as the frigid air hit him. His breath turned to mist in the air. Thank god they _only_ lived about fifteen minutes away.

"You know, I don't need this coat – it's not cold outside." Who'd have ever guessed _she_ would have ever said that in the dead of winter dressed in two scraps of cloth? "Do you need your jacket back?"

"I'll be fine. You need it more than I do."

"Not true. I've worn less in colder weather. But if you're _sure_…"

"I'm sure. I can take the cold. I'm like my brother that way."

"Which one?" she grinned.

"Er…Erol…" he admitted quietly. He glanced up as a snowflake landed on his nose, "We might want to pick up the pace a bit."

"Alright, lead on."

And he did, shortening the trip to about eight minutes. He opened the door and walked in, "We're back!" he called.

"We're?" Etain, like usual had bolted down the stairs to meet her brother. "Who else did you – Kaylee! Mom! Dad! Jance! Jade brought Kaylee home again!"

Kaen smiled at the girl, who grinned back. It was a relationship bordering on hero worship. "Hello Etain."

"Hey Kaylee!" It was amazing the amount of enthusiasm one person could hold.

Jade laughed at his sister, mentally sighing with relief at the warmth. "You're not excited _at all_ are you?"

"Nope."

He rolled his eyes and gave her a pat on the head.

Jance had heard both shouts from his siblings and, sticking his pen behind his ear, closed his journal and went out of his room to greet them.

Kaen handed the coat back to Jade, "Thanks for the jacket."

"No problem," the green eyed teen draped it over the stair railing and grinned when he saw his brother. "Hey Jance."

Jance gave a half-hearted wave at them, "Hey…"

"Hello Jance," No sign of recognition except that of an acquaintance. Kaylee had only briefly met Jance. Only briefly. Not known him for ten years.

It was hard to pretend that he didn't know her well, particularly at that moment.

"What's up with you?" Jade asked.

Jance waved it off, "Nothing."

Etain tugged on Kaen's arm. "C'mon in!"

Kaen laughed, letting the younger girl lead.

Jade gave his brother as suspicious look with was returned with a 'drop it' glare before the scarred man disappeared from the top of the stairs. The teen shook his head and went to follow the two girls.

-----------------------------------

Erol stood out in the cold, shuddering in the icy night air. He looked up at the stars and hoped that wherever Kaen was, she was faring better. He leaned against the railing of the balcony, wondering what she'd been doing for the past ten months. He hoped he'd see her soon; he could only take this life for so long.

The trench coat he wore - more for fashion than functionality - whipped around in the wind and he shivered. It was too cold, even for his liking, but it was the only place he could get away from _them_.

There was a sound behind him and he spun, but there was no one there. He shuddered and this time it wasn't the temperature. He'd gotten jumpy, insanely so. It happened after the way he'd been treated by the other gang members. He cringed, trying to push the memories from his mind; Red bearing down on him, pinning him to the bed with nowhere to move. Erol shook his head rapidly struggling to rid himself of the thought. His breathing had sped up and he looked back at the entrance onto the balcony hoping that no one was coming.

He closed his eyes, how much longer? How much longer would he have to stay as Ezekiel? He sighed and headed back inside, they'd be missing him.

"Where'd you go?" White asked as he reentered. She was sitting on her usual sofa in front of the fireplace. "You're looking troubled. Come here and tell me what's the matter."

He obediently sat next to her, "I just needed to collect my thoughts; they've gotten all disorganized on me."

"Poor baby," she said with mock sympathy. "You looked so forlorn and lonely out there…"

"Maybe cause he misses Red," Gold said with a snicker.

White rolled her eyes. "I doubt it."

"Well I admit, it's much different without him..." Erol could've killed Gold.

"He'll be back tomorrow. In the meantime, you're all mine." White pulled him closer to her. "Got it?"

"Yes," he snuggled up to her, at the moment there was _one_ benefit to her. She was warm.

"Good." She kissed the top of his head. "You're learning."

"Sorry for taking so long."

"It's alright love."

He nuzzled her cheek. Sweet heat...

"You cold?"

"Somewhat."

"Want to warm up? I have a perfect solution…"

He put his head on her shoulder and gazed up at her, forcing a playful grin, "Is it what I think you mean?"

"Most likely, since you seem to be learning."

"I'd love to warm up."

She got up and pulled him up with her. "Then let's go. Gold will be able to entertain himself, I'm sure."

Gold grinned. "Sure enough. But remember - he's mine tomorrow."


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

Ta-da. Chapter 22. Usual disclaimer, Kaen, the gang members, Jade and the rest of Erol's family (Sans Erol naturally) belong to us. Erol's Naughty Dog's.

On with the show.

* * *

Kaen sighed as she settled down for another night amongst the trash. Disgusting. Who'd have guessed she'd sink that low so fast? Once she had thought herself invincible, ruling with an iron fist, and now… She sighed again. Now… she was Kaylee, gutterrat of gutterrats.

"Hey doll," a voice above her said. "Busy tonight?"

She looked up to see a very familiar face. He was one of her more regular customers, so it wasn't surprising he knew where she lived. "I'm not doing anything. But it looks like you might have something in mind…" She held out her hand. "Cash up front."

He shoved some money into her hand. "That enough?"

She took the cash and counted it. "Yeah, that's enough. So… Where to?"

He chuckled, then pulled her up and shoved her against the wall. "How about here?"

"Whatever you want." Those words were the exact opposite of what she wanted to say. If only she'd been working that night… If only she'd been away from the alley… If only none of this had happened and she was about to wake up in her husband's warm arms.

Three years in the sewers had taught her at least one lesson: don't count on 'if onlys'.

--

Erol woke up, blinking slowly, he glanced around the room he was in, it wasn't his. It was Gold's. And next to him was the man himself. Erol sat up, wondering if he'd be able to get dressed and out of the room without waking the other man. Odds seemed against it.

"What time is it?" Gold said, rolling over to face the other man.

"Oh, you're awake." Erol glanced at the clock, "About ten."

"Shit…" he pulled Erol back down, "And you're not allowed to leave yet."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Erol said, looking as innocent as he could.

"Good." He kissed his neck. "I'm not ready to get up yet."

"Me neither." Erol replied, shifting so he could reach Gold's neck with his lips.

"You know… It's been nearly three years since you came to stay with us…"

"Has it? Seems like only yesterday. How time flies."

"I know… White's decided to celebrate… Though I think it's mostly coincidence that that particular anniversary lands so close to tonight…"

"Why would that be?"

"Oh, we need to meet some other gang tonight. Don't know why, don't really care. Problem is, Arbner has been taking over everywhere and there seems to be only one safe bar in this city…" he made a face, "It's a slummer bar. Worst in town. Good scenery though, from what I hear."

"Are we talking actual scenery or...?" Erol tugged on Gold's neck with his teeth.

"With me, what do _you_ think?" He laughed, tugging Erol closer.

"I think it's the second option."

"Correct answer. Now another question: what shall we do right now?"

"Whatever you want to. I'm yours 'til noon." Erol said, lips brushing gently against Gold's ear.

"Who do you belong to _after_ that?"

"I do believe it's Blue until six. Tonight I'm all White's though."

"I'm sure he can spare you a little longer than noon. I'll make him an ice cream cone or something. Now…"

"I'm ready whenever you are."

"Alright. I'm ready right now. You know what to do."

--

"So… Even though I ask you this everyday, how are you today Jade?" Kaen said with a grin as she entered the bar. Her shift was just beginning.

He gave her a shrug, "Not too bad, slightly annoyed, but not too bad. Etain keeps asking when you're coming back with me again. How're you?"

"Tired. Five customers already today and it's barely six o'clock."

Jade gave her a sympathetic look, "I'd be tired at two."

"Welcome to my life." She grinned. "How much longer until opening?"

He glanced at the clock, "Like a few more minutes, five at the most." He sighed and ran a hand back through the brown portion of his hair.

"Something wrong?"

"Not really."

"Not really? Those are an interesting choice of words," Kaen walked over and sat down on one of the barstools.

"Aren't they?" he smirked, "Just the monotony of everything. Nothing interesting ever happens."

"Well, maybe something interesting will happen today. Like one of us finding ourselves sudden trillionaires or something."

He laughed, "I doubt it."

"So do I. It'd be nice though… Getting out of here…" She sighed, "But there's a lot of things I love about here too."

"_What_ could you possibly love about this place?"

"Some of the people."

He smiled.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I better get back to cleaning stuff before people get here. Not that it does any good…"

"Yeah…" he looked around, "This place is really _such_ a dump."

"If I was a trillionaire, I might try to fix it up."

"Back to that already?"

"It keeps me going." She kissed his cheek then hopped of the stool. "Time to work."

"Yep," he sighed again and pulled out a rag to make himself look busy.

--

Well, something interesting _did_ happen at the bar that night. Something that took the form of a high class gang who'd been forced to go to a slummer bar.

Erol was sitting on White's lap the whole trip to the bar. It was a demeaning position that he was _more_ than used to taking up. Part of his mind was wondering how bad the bar would be.

"Alright, we're here," Red announced as the limo came to a stop, "Let's get out."

White pushed Erol off, "Go on darling. Fetch a table – we'll be right there."

"I'll go with him," Gold said eagerly.

"No," she said firmly. "I need to talk to the rest of you alone."

Erol blinked, gave White a funny look and exited the limo.

--

Kaen pushed two very drunken men out of the bar, "See ya'll!" She called after them. Another few possible customers gone – it seemed to be her lucky night.

Erol narrowly avoided the two men on his way in, quickly stepping out of their way. He edged nervously into the bar, skirting around most of the people he saw.

The woman watched the newcomer enter and walked over to him; he was _extremely_ good looking and had this 'rich kid' look about him. "Haven't seen you here before."

He jerked and took a step back, "You…you wouldn't have…"

"Wouldn't have what? I haven't _done_ anything yet. But I could…" For a price.

He edged skittishly away, "No…"

"Jittery, aren't you love? Can I get you anything?"

He shook his head.

"Well, call me over if you need anything. My name's Kaylee." She winked and strolled off.

Erol watched her go, suddenly rather transfixed by her, "Kaylee…" he whispered her name, it didn't seem right.

"Something wrong?" Another woman said from behind him.

He jumped and whipped around shaking his head, "N-no."

White grinned and pulled him up, "You're sitting on my seat."

"Sorry love."

She walked around and sat down, pulling him into her lap. Around then, the other gang members took their seats.

Red turned to Erol, "Who was that girl you were talking to?"

"No idea, says her name's Kaylee."

"She's hot. Wonder how much she costs…"

Erol looked back at her, "No idea."

"Shall we ask?" he smirked, "Oy! Kaylee!"

The woman came over to their table once again. "Yeah love? What can I do for you?"

"Two questions. First, drinks? Second, how much do you cost?"

"Two answers. "First, I'll take your orders. Second, whatever you want lover boy."

"Sweet…" Gold smirked. "Righty then! Drinks!"

Everyone placed their orders except for Erol. "Darling, what do you want?" White asked, lips brushing his ear.

He repressed a whimper, "I'm good for the moment."

"Are you _sure_?"

"Yes," he said, rubbing his nose against her neck, "I need to speak with the bartender before I order."

"So he's not ordering?" Kaen asked, slightly impatient. Much to her surprise, a burst of her own personality – and voice – had broken through.

"Doesn't look like it," White sighed.

"I'll need your money."

Erol looked at her, eyes narrowing slightly; she'd sounded like…Kaen… "I'll get it," he said, pulling out a few fifties and handing them to her.

"Thanks," she said, taking them from him.

"Yeah, thanks sweetheart." Red said as she walked past.

"I'm no sweetheart."

Erol stared at her, it couldn't be…

"Why are you staring?" White snapped, "She's just some diseased whore."

"She's…" he broke off shaking his head rapidly, "Completely shameless. Sorry love, just distracted."

"Well don't be again. You're _ours_. She's everyone's. They disgust me – being passed around from person to person…"

No different than he was… "Awful," he agreed.

"Disgusting. And now she's flirting with that bartender… Why must the slums be so gross?"

He glanced over and felt his heart stop for a moment, "Jade…" it was a near inaudible whisper. "If they weren't gross, they wouldn't be the slums." He got up, "I've decided I _do_ want a drink."

"Well, come on back."

"You know I will…" And he left, edging around tables as he headed to the bar.

Kaen was _not_ flirting with Jade, but simply talking to him as he made the order. "What's up with the rich people? God, they make me sick."

"No idea," the teen glanced up, "Oh god here comes one now…"

"Eww… Well have fun. I'll sit here and watch – it's nearly my break and I need to rest up for it."

Jade shuddered.

Erol walked over and looked at him, not quite able to believe that it was his brother.

"Yes? What can I get you?" The teen asked irritably.

Erol sighed, "Jade, I need you to listen closely to what I'm about to tell you."

Jade froze, "Who the hell are you? How do you know my name?"

"Just a little creepy there…" Kaen glared at the stranger.

Erol looked at her, "What?"

"The fact that you know Jade's name. A little weird." She rolled her eyes – rich people were all the same.

"Not particularly."

Jade grabbed the front of Erol's shirt, "_Who the hell are you?!_" he snapped.

"Look Jade, I got to go – that guy back there has been making eyes at me all night. What a creeper," she shivered. "Hairy, sweaty, and extremely perverted."

He looked at her, cringed, and, still holding the front of Erol's shirt said, "Well, do what you have to I guess."

"It's Ara's birthday soon. I've gotta make money somehow."

Erol stared at her, "What?!" It _was_ Kaen.

"Oh, Ara's my daughter. After her father…" her voice broke. She didn't like talking about it.

Ara's father…felt like he was about to have the snot beat out of him by his younger brother.

Jade reached out and patted her shoulder with his free hand.

She gave Jade a grateful smile. "You're a nice person. Much better than me." Kaen kissed his cheek and walked off.

By the time she had made it to the back and her newest customer, she had been molested by at least fifteen people. Then came the true challenge – the actual job.

"Ready babe?" she whispered in his ear.

He smirked and hauled himself up, "Alley," he grunted.

"Whatever you want." She held out her hand, "Pay up."

The pig slapped about three tens into her hand, then dragged her outside.

It made her want to _scream_.

--

Erol had twisted to watch her, but couldn't bear to continue by the time the fifth person had pulled her into his lap. He turned back to Jade.

The teen was _not_ amused, "Alright, I don't know who you are, but unless you start answering me-"

Erol interrupted, "Let go of me and I'll try to explain as quickly as I can."

Jade gave him a distrusting look and reluctantly let go, "Get talkin.'"

"You probably know me better as 'that ditching bastard' otherwise known as your brother. Now, the whole reason I came over here was to explain something rather important to you.

"Look, not matter _what_ I seem to order, or is ordered for me, I _need_ you to just give me water. Use food coloring if you have to make it fancy, but you _need_ to do that for me. Alright?"

Jade blinked at him, "Seriously?"

"Seriously. I'll try to explain it better later, but for the moment just go with it. Now try mixing a 'martini' and I'll leave you be. I need to get back before they start suspecting something."

The teen still looked confused but did as he was told, passing Erol the glass.

Erol nodded, "Thanks Jade. I owe you." He turned and walked away, making himself look slightly irritated, as he headed back to White and the others.

"What took you so long?" Blue said with a sigh, pulling Erol down into his lap as he said it. "We missed you."

Erol set his drink down and wrapped an arm around Blue's neck, "Whoever put a teenager in charge of the bar is an idiot! That little creep..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "Downright disagreeable..."

"I know… And the hooker from before… Red likes her though, so we really can't complain." Blue pressed his lips roughly against Erol's. "Leaves you free for me."

Not really, he _was_ supposed to be White's now, but it didn't matter. Erol deepened the kiss.

White tugged sharply on his arm. "Ah, ah, ah. You belong to me now. Come on Blue, let him go. You had him this afternoon."

Blue pouted, but let her take the other man from his lap.

"You did. Don't you remember the shower?" Erol mock chided, before turning his attentions to White.

"Stop thinking about the little whore now and concentrate on other things. Namely me," she commanded.

"Yes love." And he pressed his lips to her neck, forcing all of the longing that had come to him upon seeing Kaen into the action.

"Well aren't you energetic today." She giggled in her most irritating manner and returned the action.

He smirked and pressed his lips to hers, telling himself the whole time to pretend she was Kaen.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him and deepened the kiss.

He slid an arm up her back to tangle his fingers in her hair, not daring to be the one to break the contact.

White was just about to go further when Kaen, bearing their drinks, returned. She was hot, slightly sweaty and had a look of despair in her eyes.

"Oh," said White. "You're back."

"Yeah, I'm back." In a very quiet voice she added, "You stuck up bitch."

Obviously the other woman didn't notice. "Pass out the drinks then." She watched with satisfaction as Kaen did as commanded.

"Anything else?" the ex-crime lady said with a flirtatious smile.

Red raised his hand. "Right here. I need something."

She walked over to him. "And that would be?"

He grabbed her and pulled her down so she was sitting in his lap. "This," he said with a smirk, and proceeded to more or less molest her.

Erol could hardly blinked he was so...transfixed by it. He was suddenly _very_ tempted to go haul Kaen off Red, and nearly did, before he caught himself and ended up just making a very strange jerking twitch.

"Something wrong?" White asked.

"He's just jealous," Red laughed, pulling away from Kaen for a moment. "No offense White, but I've noticed the way his eyes have been following her all night."

White glared at him, not saying anything.

Erol looked as ashamed as possible, and actually succeeded in looking as though he regretted every millisecond his eyes had been on his wife.

"Want a taste?" Red asked, offering Kaen to him. "My treat."

He damn near took the chance, but knew that if he did he probably wouldn't see dawn. "Shouldn't. Besides," he turned back to White, "I'm with her."

"Good answer," White said with poisonous sweetness. "Now… What were we doing?"

He kissed her, again forcing himself to imagine that she was Kaen. It was a little harder now, but it was still a fairly good convincer...

"I'll be back soon." Kaen gently pushed herself away from Red. "I just realized something."

"Okay," he said slowly, letting her go. "But you _will_ come back, correct?"

"Sure babe." She winked and walked into the backroom. More specifically, the bathroom, which held exactly what she needed: somewhere where she could wash away her puke. Such was the downside to bulimia…

"Well, she's gone now and we can celebrate 'til she gets back." White sighed, running a finger around the top of Erol's drink. "Drink up Ezekiel."

"Of course love..." He said, downing the whole thing in one go.

"Yes Erol… Drink up…"

"_What_ did you just call me?!"

"Erol. That's your name, isn't it?" She kissed his cheek. "Ah yes Little Erol who ruined all our boss's plans…"

"I'm Ezekiel..." But his sentence slurred at the end, what had just happened?

"No - you're Erol. You are now a _poisoned_ Erol. Soon enough you will die a horrible death, a fitting end for one such as you."

"You bitch!" he snapped, or _tried_ to. He shoved away from her and stood unsteadily, grabbing the empty glass and saltshaker from the table.

"Run after the whore. Try to save yourself. You can run, but you can't hide."

He said something else, but only the last half of his sentence was clear, "-k you." But he was following her directions nonetheless.

--

Kaen finally surfaced, dizzy and breathless. She had purged - now she could go face her life again without shame or pain.

Erol entered the bathroom, there was only one, and headed for the sink mixing up a highly concentrated saltwater in his glass. He hoped that this would actually work…

"What are _you_ doing in here?" his wife asked as she came out of the stall, wiping her lips on the back of her hand.

He looked at her, downed his saltwater and said, "Purging," as he mixed up a second glass.

"Ya know, you can stick a finger down your throat and achieve the same effect. You don't need water."

He was about to reply when his stomach clenched and he braced himself over the sink as he began to heave.

Kaen leaned against the sink and watched him. "You know, you look slightly familiar. Have you been here before?"

He shook his head.

"Hmm… I could've sworn I've met you before. Must be my mistake - faces begin to blur after about the first thousand." She made a face.

He straightened, "That's just wrong Kaen; don't tell me stuff like that."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Her heart had frozen in her chest. It couldn't be…

"What do you think I'm talking about?"

"You seem to be mistaking me for someone else. I'm Kaylee."

"Don't try that sweetheart. Don't you think I'd know my own wife when I see her?"

"Okay, what the hell are you talking about?"

She didn't remember or was denying it very hard, either way, it hurt.

"And there is no way in hell you're Erol."

"Is that so?" he asked, moving his hands from the counter somewhat tentatively as he offered them to her palm up, displaying his scars. He was shaking by now, badly.

"Okay, so you are Erol. This still doesn't mean I'm your wife."

"You can't trick me sweetheart. You confirmed it with Jade."

"Shit. Well, the part of your wife you loved is mostly dead and has been replaced by an infectious ill breeding strumpet."

"Kaen…" He sighed and lowered his hands leaning against the counter for support.

"Feeling sick?" She asked.

"Yeah, sort of."

"What happened? Jade spike your drink or something?"

"Not Jade, White."

"Bitch…" she snarled, "Dirty rich bitch…"

"That sums her up quite nicely…"

"I'm good with words. At least, I _used_ to be."

"You still are," he sighed, "I hope I didn't make that worse…" It was an afterthought, more to himself than Kaen.

"Probably not. They aren't that creative. Though…" she looked thoughtful, "Who did they say put them up to this?"

"They didn't but I'm betting it's our favorite pain in the ass come back for one more stab at revenge."

"Oh…Arbner. I've had him a few times."

Erol looked like he was about to be sick again.

"What? It's not like he's a regular! He's more a… 'once every three weeks or so' kind of guy…"

He shuddered.

"What?!"

"Never mind…"

She shrugged, "Its business. Better than the guy I had tonight."

That _did_ make him throw up again.

"So…what's it like to be married to a whore?"

He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, "I could ask you the same."

"You're not a whore…"

"You're right, I never got paid."

"_What_?!"

"What? It's true."

"With _who_?"

"Um…all four of them…"

She swore then said, "Could be worse."

He snorted, "Yeah…right…"

"There could be eight of them."

He cringed, "True…" if only she knew…

"Sorry… I'm sort of… desensitized… If it wasn't for your family I'd be a completely evil person."

"Well…at least you had someone." There was a hint of bitterness in his voice. "How'd they treat you?"

"Your sister has a fascination with me bordering on hero worship… And your parents are really sweet… Jade's himself… Jance...tried to fake he didn't know me... But in the end he sort of showed it..." Kaen pulled out a pair of dog tags. "Like with these..."

Erol blinked, "Are those my tags from the KG?"

"Yep." She put them back, "They help."

"I'm glad."

"I'm not."

"Well..."

"God... How can you even be around me?"

"I still love you, despite all of this."

She blinked – it was the first time in three years anyone had said that to her. It struck her speechless; she didn't know what to do with that...

He just stood there, still shaking from throwing up, and watched her.

A second later she was hugging him and trying not to cry, "I still love you too."

He stiffened for a split second before hugging her back. He'd missed her so much.

Kaen felt her resolve break and she began to cry into his shoulder. "Don't leave me again. I'll die in this hellhole. I'm _dying_ in this hellhole."

"I won't leave you Kaen, I'm not going to let you die here," he told her softly.

"I don't want to die. Not again. I don't want to die again."

"I won't let you. It's going to be okay."

She nodded. "But... I went to the hospital and they said I wouldn't last the month."

"Oh god..."

"Don't go."

"I won't. I'm right here."

She had stopped crying and was just leaning her head on his chest. He was safe and warm... Like he always had been, back when life had been so easy and painless.

He stroked her hair gently and kissed the top of her head. It nearly felt normal, safe, like it always had used to.

"Do you feel normal right now?"

"Actually...yes. Do you?"

"Indeed. Like it's all a bad dream and we'll wake up fine. Ara will be in her room."

"That'd be nice." He brushed some hair back from her forehead, "I wish it was true."

"So do I." She closed her eye, "So do I."

He relaxed, holding her close, rubbing his nose in her hair.

"We'll be okay, won't we?"

"Yeah, of course." Eventually.

She pulled away. "I need you to understand something. Whatever is about to happen, I love you, I have always loved you, I will always love you. And please do not dare leave this room, whatever you do."

Erol nodded slowly, "Alright sweetheart. Do what you have to I guess."

"Always have." She kissed him softly and left the bathroom.


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

Another update, a little late for welcoming the New Year, but here all the same. The usual disclaimer applies. Jade, Kaen, the gang members, Valen, Aaric, Cayden and the Calikite belong to us. Everything and everyone else belongs to Naughty Dog.

Enjoy.

* * *

Jade shot the rich table a glare. His green eyes narrowed as he tried to make out what they were saying. They were laughing and seemed pleased about something. It must have had something to do with the reason Erol had suddenly taken off from the group.

He sighed and gave up, picking up a glass to wipe clean. It didn't matter. It was the business of the upper class and not something he needed to be sticking his nose in.

Kaen walked out of the washroom and back into the main area. Correction – _It_ walked out of the washroom and back into the main area. Her pure black eyes searched the room, until they finally landed on the rich table. Perfect. She moved slinking over to the table, looking like a strange mixture of a whore and a savage cat.

Red grinned as she approached, "Hey sweetheart. Come for some more?"

"Sort of, but not with you." It walked over so she was standing beside White. "With _her_."

"But I don't want you..." the older woman protested.

"But I want _you_." She grabbed White's throat and squeezed, "Dead. With you blood on my hands." She let go of White's throat, whipped out a knife, and, in one swift movement, pinned the other woman to the table with a blade in her gut. It laughed with pleasure.

"Please," White begged, "I didn't mean to hurt him."

"Bullshit," It plucked a hair from her own head. "Now, I hate the sound of your voice. Let's put a stop to it, shall we?" Slowly she used the calikite tip on the hair to sew White's lips shut, "Now, that's better.

White's eyes were wide and terrified. Obviously the idea of dying didn't appeal to her.

"Okay, next I tear out your heart and eat it. Doesn't that sound nice?" Whit shook her head. "Oh...Well, that's what's going to happen anyway."

"You can't do that..." Red said weakly.

"Can't I?" It turned and ripped out the man's throat. "Too bad for you – I can. And now..." she turned around and proceeded to rip out White's heart and ate it.

What followed was more or less a massacre. It had successfully locked away Kaen and now had free reign to do as It wished. Only when every known person was dead did It stop long enough to eat. And eat It did.

Jade had wisely hidden the moment he'd seen Kaen lose control and was currently kneeling behind the bar, praying to whatever god or entity who would listen to him that there'd be a way he'd make it out alive.

Erol had, for quite a while, listened to his wife, doing his best to ignore the cries he heard from inside the main part of the bar as well as the mental images that accompanied them. Finally he gave up and went out of the bathroom to find out once and for all what had happened.

It was licking her fingers clean of blood when she heard a movement. Someone was alive?! How was that even possible?!

Erol skirted around the bodies as he walked over to her purposefully, "Kaen."

"So _you_ survived," It sighed, standing up, "That sucks."

"Does it? Sorry."

"I suppose I'll have to kill you. You'll tasted good – probably the best. Plus, your corpse will give _her_ a wakeup call. She's gone soft because of you."

"You can't kill me."

"That what the other man said too. Were you friends? He had a curious red gem in his pocket..." It shrugged and walked over to Erol. "You look delectable."

"Do I? You've still got an appetite after all of this? You can't kill me. Kaen won't let you."

"She's not even aware I killed anyone. I locked her away for good. And you're dessert after a tasty meal. Sort of a treat to top it off."

"I see." He looked at her calmly. "You can't beat her. Kaen _will_ get control back."

"Wanna bet?" A hand shot out and grabbed his throat. "You're scared of touch – I can smell it on you. So you'll have trouble fighting by that logic, because I'll be acting like that White women. Well, maybe – I can't really stand those mentalities..."

Erol froze. She couldn't... "You can't win."

She pulled herself closer to him until there was no space between them. "Isn't this nice? Now the last thing you'll know is your wife flirting with you was she broke your neck."

Part of him was panicking, but part of him was calm. "You won't."

"Won't I? And the last thing she'll see is your corpse falling to the ground. It's romantic, isn't it?" Her lips brushed his ear. "_I_ think so." She tightened her hold on his throat.

He gasped part from the touch, part from the sudden constriction. One hand went to his throat, trying to pry her off him.

She just tightened her grip. "Goodbye Erol. See you in hell."

And then, he stopped fighting and did something strange. He lowered his hand and embraced her.

"What are you doing?!" It said in confusion.

The air he had was precious, but he said, "Give me back my wife."

"Why?" It spat, though she loosened her hold a little. "She wouldn't come even if she was normal. She wouldn't give a damn about someone who won't be able to love her. Especially _you_."

"I love her," he tightened his embrace, "Kaen, please, come back," his voice was a whisper in her ear.

"She won't," but It's voice was panicked, "She _can't_. I won't let her. She's dead and gone Erol! Like she should be!"

"I know she's still there. Kaen, don't you dare leave me."

"She already has!" It snarled, her entire body was twitching.

"Kaen, please. I need you." His eyes closed as he prepared himself for the worst. Steeled himself to come abruptly face to face with Aaric.

"I know you do." It's twitching had come to an abrupt stop and was now replaced with slight shaking.

"Kaen..."

"What just happened? Erol...What's going on?"

"You don't want to know." But she had to...

"How many people did I kill?"

"I don't know. How many would you say were in the bar not counting the two of us?"

"Oh god..." She knew she had to purge. "I'll be right back." And she ran for the bathroom.

Erol surveyed the carnage around him, his stomach churned. Something important was missing, or someone. The colour green came to mind, "Oh god... Jade..." he suddenly felt the pain of loss, though was confused as to why. He'd barely known the teen. "Jade?" he called, hoping to hear an answer. "Jade!"

Jade raised his head at the sound of his name, "Erol..." he whispered, and suddenly he shot to his feet vaulting over the top of the bar and grabbing his brother from behind.

Erol stiffened and tried to turn and see who had him. It didn't work out too well.

"Erol..." Jade's voice was muffled by the older man's back, "Tell me when it's save to look."

Kaen re-emerged from the bathroom, using the wall for support. She felt like she was about to pass out. By the time she'd finished, she'd thrown up about nine times and now all of her energy was gone. She'd also taken a razor blade to her feet, but not so much that it hindered her walking. Just enough to hurt.

Erol looked up as she came back. He'd been trying unsuccessfully to pry Jade's hands off of him. He would have walked to her, but Jade was hindering practically every movement.

"Are we ready to go?" she asked, voice dead.

"Yeah, if the little parasite will let me _move_."

Kaen walked over to said parasite and gently touched his shoulder, "Jade, you have to let go. We need to leave before the cops arrive."

Jade replied with a whimper.

"Come on. No one's going to hurt you." She pried him off. "It's going to be alright."

"Yeah. Come on." Erol said grabbing the back of Jade's shirt. "Let's get out of here."

The crime lady walked out of the bar without another word, still using the wall for support.

Erol followed, leading the terrified teenager out of the building. He turned and passed Jade his cell phone. "Call Dad."

Jade nodded and dialled.

The older man walked over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her.

"You'll get blood on you."

"You'll pass out."

"I'll be fine. I'm only slightly dizzy."

"Well, I've never known you to be opposed to a hug..."

"I don't deserve a hug. I deserve a bullet to the brain."

"No you don't."

"You sure? I just killed about forty people and ate about ten." But she curled up closer to him nonetheless.

"I'm sure." He knew that his fear of touch would come back and had decided to make the most of the lack as he could.

"Okay, if you're sure." She closed her eyes. "I want to go home and live out the last twenty-six days in peace."

He nuzzled her, "Yeah, that'd be nice. I'll call Cayden when Jade gives me my cell back."

"And Valen. Please."

"Yeah, of course."

Jade came back over and handed Erol the phone, "Here. Thanks."

"I...I need to sit down..." Kaen promptly sat down with no warning.

Erol sat next to her and decided to call Valen first.

----------------------------------

Valen was woken up by his phone going off. "What in all that is good and blue..." he mumbled sleepily, searching for his phone with his hand, "Who would be calling me at," he glanced at the clock, "Four o'clock in the morning?"

Finally he found his phone, "What the hell is _so_ important that you are waking me up at four in the morning instead of at a decent, normal hour?" he snapped as quietly as possible as he slid out of bed. He didn't want to wake Razer with the call as well.

----------------------------------

"It is _not_ four in the morning," Erol said, then he paused and glanced at his watch, "It's only two, I don't know what you're talking about Val. Sorry for waking you up, but we've got a bit of a problem." He didn't even think about the strange time difference or how it might have sounded to his friend since the last time they'd spoken had been three years previously, _before_ the attack on the manor.

"Okay...Obviously I am dreaming." Val sighed as he headed for the kitchen, he needed some coffee. "You are dead."

"Nope, I'm not."

"So you're saying you've been hiding for three years?"

"Yes. As has Kaen."

"And she'd the reason you've called I presume?"

"Again correct."

"And I have to come right now? It'll take me a while."

"As soon as you can come." Erol thought about it for a minute and something clicked, "You're _not_ still in Kras, are you?"

"Yes I am. Which is why it will take so long. Where'd you think I was?"

Erol shrugged and realized Valen wouldn't be able to see it, "I don't know."

"Well now you know where I am. I'll meet you at the manor in about two and a half hours."

"Alright, see you then," Erol hung up and immediately began to call Cayden.

"_Who_ is calling me at this godforsaken hour?" Cayden snapped into the phone the moment he answered his cell. "Speak quickly and I might not crush your head in."

"Sorry Cayden," Erol said, sounding considerably more apologetic than he felt. "But we, meaning me and Kaen, are in serious need of a lift."

"_What_?! Who is this?!"

"Erol..."

"I thought you were dead. You say Miss Kaen's in trouble?"

"Not quite trouble, but we're in a tight spot."

"Well...Where are you?"

"Um..." Erol glanced around and gave Cayden the address.

"Slums? Dammit... Find. I'll be there in a moment. Have you called Valen? It takes him forever to get down here and he tends to leave quite quickly."

"Yeah, already called..."

"Good. Okay, keep her warm and the like. I'll be there soon." He hung up.

Erol closed his phone and looked at Kaen, "Cayden and Val are coming. Won't be long before we're home."

She nodded. He stomach and throat were aching from all from all of times she'd thrown up.

"You alright sweetheart?"

"I feel sick..."

He put an arm around her shoulder, "It'll be alright."

"No it won't."

"Yes it will." Part of him was cringing because of the touch, but he forced his hand to stay where it was.

"Just let go."

He did, somewhat reluctantly.

"I don't want you to face touch."

"I..." he didn't know what to tell her. Contact scared him.

"Whatever." Kaen got up and walked away. Not too far away – just enough to do another purge without being seen.

Erol lay back on the ground and stared up at the sky. How many nights had he spent gazing up at them, wishing for his wife? Only now...now they were both too screwed up to even care...

A car pulled up and Cayden got out. "Are you alright my lord?" he asked when he spotted Erol.

He sat up, "Define alright."

"Breathing?"

"Then yes, I'm alright."

"Where is her ladyship?"

Erol pointed in the direction she'd gone, "Over there...somewhere..."

"I thought I told you to keep her safe and warm!"

"You did, she just rejected any attempts."

Cayden put a hand on his shoulder, "Very well, I'll go find her."

Erol stiffened under Cayden's hand. He nodded, "Alright."

"No need. I'm back." The woman re-emerged, wiping her mouth once more. Still using the wall for support, she made her way back to the two men. "Cayden I'd suggest taking your hand off his shoulder – he's having problems with touch." There was an odd mix of bitterness and pain in her voice.

Cayden released the other man's shoulder instantly, "Of course my lady."

"Good. Now let's go home. But first...Where's Jade gone off to?"

Jade was sitting curled up on the pavement staring blankly out in front of him. He glanced up at his name. "I'm right here, why do you care?"

"Cause you're the only one I'm not mad at right now." Kaen sighed and sat beside him. "Look...even though you probably hate me now...can you do me one last favour before I let go of this side of my soul?"

"Um...okay..."

She removed the dog tags. "Give these back to Etain and... tell everyone I'm sorry...Okay?" Tears were threatening to return.

He nodded taking the tags, "Okay."

"Thanks Jade," Kaen gave him a quick hug. "Still a life saver."

The teen blinked, managed a weak grin and went back to his pointless staring.

She got up and returned to Cayden, looking similar to a prisoner on death row. "Let's go." Kaen turned and gave the bar a look of longing, then got in the car.

"Right." Cayden went and got in the car too.

Erol cast a glance back at Jade before following the example of the other two.

The trip to the manor was uneventful mostly because Kaen was refusing to speak to either of them. By the time Cayden had escorted his boss to her room, he was about ready to pound someone's head in.

Erol was just glad to be home. He kept running a hand down the wall as though he couldn't believe it was really there.

Kaen's first action was to lock herself in the bathroom. Why she kept throwing up was beyond her – it was a useless gesture because there was nothing left in her stomach at all. Nothing, not even the usual water or bile.

Erol had wandered to the master bedroom and sat on the floor leaning against the wall, continually brushing a hand over its surface, looking rather like a mental patient who had recently been released from a rubber room. Home...

Finally Kaen emerged, "Oh," was all she said.

He looked up at her, "Hey..."

"Yeah...Look..."

"Yeah?"

"I don't know. I want to go home..."

"We _are_ home."

"Sort of...It's too warm in here to be home." She walked over to the thermostat and turned it down about fifteen degrees. "Better. It's cold..." Kaen went over and sat beside him. "Do you hate me now?"

"No..." it was too _warm_? That was new, "I still love you."

"You sure about that? It was my fault we're in this mess, my fault you're afraid of touch, my fault that we'll never be the same..."

He nodded, "I'm sure." Though he was feeling rather hated at the moment.

"God..." She ran a hand through her hair. "How is this going to work?"

"We'll find a way. We always do."

"Even this time?" Kaen tentatively wrapped her arms around him, "I dunno..."

He froze, but it only lasted a second or two before he managed to relax. "We always find a way..." though he shared her scepticism.

"You don't believe it either."

"I want to."

"But you don't. No longer can we play 'happy family.'"

"Sorry..."

"It's not your damn fault!"

He cringed, "It's not yours either."

"Yes it is. I was too much of a fool..." she sighed and got up, releasing him as she did so. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Okay..." he remained sitting on the floor.

So she did, hating every moment. As twisted as it was, she wanted to go back to her nook in the alley, even if men were coming to call. At least sometimes they'd hold her... Why couldn't it all be one bad dream? Why? Why couldn't she just finally die in peace?

Erol watched her fall asleep, feeling very torn, he wanted to go to her but...touch... he shuddered. But she wouldn't hurt him, couldn't if she was asleep. He got up and went to the bed, lying down next to her and tentatively, gently put his arms around her. He didn't know if it was the right thing to do or not but it made him feel slightly better.


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

Here we have another update. Lovely huh? Normal disclaimer applies: Kaen, Valen, and any mentioned OCs such as Jade or the former gang members belong to us. Erol and Razer belong to Naughty Dog.

That said... On with the story.

* * *

Valen arrived at the house at about six in the morning with his very cold boyfriend. He hoped whatever the emergency was; it'd be worth the trip.

After dropping his stuff off in his rooms, the psychologist proceeded to his friends' quarters for just a bit of revenge – revenge that came in the form of sneaking up behind Erol and watching him in an extremely creepy manner.

Erol freaked. That was the easy way to put it. He jerked awake and stared terrified at the psychologist, unable to speak.

"Hello Erol," he said, also in a very creepy manner.

"Um…hey?" Too close, too close, too close! He wanted Valen away from him.

The shrink leaned over him to poke Kaen. "How are you?"

The movement was causing Erol to have a panic attack, and now he had nowhere to move.

"I'll take that as not good. Now, do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Wake her up. My efforts are failing."

Erol nodded and gently shook Kaen's shoulder, "C'mon, wake up."

She blinked sleepily and rolled over to face him. "I'm awake." She smiled at him – sleep seemed to have improved her forgiving abilities.

"Good." He managed to smile at her, "Valen's here, and he's being a creep."

"Valen, stop being a creep. Now…Erol…Question?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I give you a kiss on the cheek?"

He nodded.

So she did, then got up. "I'll be right back…" Time to purge…

Valen watched as she walked past, catching her eye for a moment. "NO!" he cried, grabbing her arm as soon as he could manage it.

"Let go Val," she snapped trying to struggle away.

"No. You're sick."

"No shit. Now let go!"

"I will _not_ let you continue this!"

"Screw off…" Finally she yanked her arm free. "I'm going now," Kaen walked away into the bathroom.

"God dammit." Val muttered.

Erol had succeeded in regaining a bit of personal space, "_What_ was that about?"

"Kaen has become severely bulimic and has been since she lost her fourth child." Valen shook his head in dismay.

"Lost her _what_?!"

"Fourth child. She was careful usually, but after rapes…Especially when there was more than three guys involved…"

"Oh god…" Erol shuddered.

"It's actually not _too_ bad considering…Ah, she re-emerges!"

Kaen came out of the bathroom, head held high. "It's not a big deal Val. Stop gossiping about my life."

"No."

"Yes."

"Not until I can figure out what happened," he said firmly.

"You want to know what happened? Fine! I'll tell you! You can hear what happened to me for three years and see why I am the way I am!"

She proceeded to give the story of her slummer life:

"The first night I was out there in the alleys, I was raped by four men and left for dead. Only by chance did I find a place to hide and recover, trying to keep myself alive by picking through garbage. After a while that wasn't enough and I was in a rut – how could I support myself and my daughter? I had only been down there a month before I realized that there was only one solution…" Her voice broke for a moment then she continued.

"It was only after a year did I find salvation of sorts and it came in the strangest form – Jade and his family. It was odd, living with my own family in-law while pretending to be a different person altogether. But they saved my life.

"By the time the third year came around I had been raped around thirty-six times; many of those involving more than two men. I had lost nine children through various accidents. I had contracted several deadly diseases from my various customers, which, by my calculations, equaled roughly six and a half _thousand_.

"So there you are Valen! What else of my life do you want to know? Is this enough to satisfy you?!"

Valen was struck dumb by the outburst. That wasn't what he'd been expecting…

"Oh my god..." Erol's heart shattered for his wife and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and hold her. But his body refused to move. He felt awful, sympathy for her, and extreme guilt. Guilt over his own hang ups and inability to get over them when she had been so much worse off than him. "Kaen..."

"Yeah?" she smiled weakly at him. "Sorry for the outburst…"

"I had no idea." Still he couldn't move to her. What was stopping him?

Valen, who was standing slightly between the pair, walked up to Kaen and gave her a huge hug. "God… I'm sorry I pried…" He shot Erol a nasty glance over his shoulder that clearly said 'you should be the one over here, comforting her'.

Erol looked away in shame.

"It's alright Val… I'm just not strong enough sometimes…"

He was a useless, hated, waste of space, who never was and never would be anything to anyone again. He didn't even have the willpower to hug his wife...

"Something wrong love?" Kaen asked with concern.

"No..."

"Liar."

"Forget it. It's nothing." _He_ was nothing. He looked at the floor morosely.

Kaen broke away from Valen and went over to her husband. Gently and slowly she wrapped her thin arms around him. "Did I say something that offended?" she said quietly.

He shuddered and looked back at her, eyes dead yet pleading, "No. You didn't do anything…" He twitched, part of him wanted her to stay there with her arms around him, but the other part _desperately_ wanted no contact. He started to shake.

Kaen sighed and let go. "I need to go for a walk," she said quietly and exited the room.

Erol sighed and watched her go, feeling like a git. Friggin' useless...

"Well, that went well, didn't it?" Valen said in a strangely strangled voice. "Now that your marriage is falling apart at the seams."

"Don't remind me." Erol said, idly scratching at the collar around his neck. Why White had made him wear it was honestly beyond him, like he'd forget his standing. "So..."

"So. You've just heard your wife's testimony - how does that make you feel?"

"Horrid."

"Because of what happened to her or because it's nothing compared to what happened to you?"

"Because of what happened to her." And the fact that he seemed to have had it easier yet been worse off.

"Ah…" The psychologist sighed, "Look Erol, the only way through this is for you to tell someone what happened aloud. So, here's your choices: either I force the information from you or you tell me willingly."

He sighed and lowered his hand from his neck. "It's nothing compared to her."

"Just spit it out Erol or I will have to force it from you. Kaen's been in worse situations. And, other than the fact she's about to kick it, sometimes slices up her feet and has bulimia, she has nothing to worry about but you."

"You are not coming anywhere near me."

"Wanna bet? I wouldn't suggest it, because I _will_ win. Don't get me wrong - I don't want to pull you out of your comfort zone - but if you aren't willing to tell me on your own I have to resort to different measures."

"I am wholly unprepared to discuss the past three years. Go away."

"No."

"Yes."

"_No_."

"_Yes_."

Valen walked purposefully over and grabbed Erol's shoulders. "_No_," he said, forcing his friend to look at him.

Utter terror gripped him and Erol snapped his eyes shut, though the gesture was probably too late.

"EROL!" Valen snapped, "It's not use hiding anymore. I'm about to use a threat that I haven't used in a long time, but… What are you willing to lose? Your wife? Your home? Your daughter? When will the consequences become enough that you'll break under the pressure?"

He put his head in his hands, "Let go of me." His voice was terrified and quiet. "Let go of me."

"Not until you tell me what's going on inside that head of yours. I saw enough to know that what I am doing right now is probably one of the worst things I _can_ do. However, I could make this even worse. Do you want that?"

"No...Please Valen...Let go."

"_No_."

"I'll talk, just let go. Stop touching me."

Valen tentatively let go and took one step back. "Talk or I hug you."

"I was the entire group's bitch."

"Saw enough to figure that out. Care to elaborate?"

Not really, but he knew the consequences if he didn't. "They raped me. _All_ of them. Even White, the girl."

"I don't want to know how that even works. Well, I mean, I _know_, but I don't… 'Kay, I'm shutting up about that now. When, where, why? Just…spew it out like it's vomit."

"Fingers." Erol said, even though Valen had already said that he didn't want to know. "When? Night, day, anytime really. Where? Anywhere they felt like, their rooms, mine, the bathroom, the shower, the floor..." He trailed off, "Do you _really_ need to know why?"

"Will it help me help you?"

"Probably not."

"Alright then. What else can you tell me?"

"I don't know."

"Is that all that happened in those three years? You being tossed around from person to person?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Okay." Val nodded slowly. "I understand in the sense of what's going on inside of you…" He walked over to his friend and hugged him. "It's going to take a while, but we'll figure this out. We need you here."

Erol stiffened. Did Valen _have_ to hug him?

Valen grinned internally. He loved making people uncomfortable, especially if it was for the better. Erol'd rather be hugged by his wife than his psychologist after this.

Erol started to twitch.

Valen stared him straight in the eye. This was fun.

And the redhead abruptly stopped any involuntary movement. He blinked at Valen for a moment.

"What?" Valen asked.

He was too used to being held by another man. He looked at Valen for a moment longer before kissing him.

Valen did _not_ know what to do with what was going on. Sure, he'd been waiting for that moment for over twenty years, but it was so wrong… Well, he'd think about that later. Valen decided it would be easier just to kiss him back.

Erol thought nothing of what he was doing. For three years it'd been what was supposed to be 'natural.' His lips brushed Valen's neck.

Val was used to it too, though in a very different context. He offered up his neck happily.

Erol took advantage of it. Something seemed off about this situation...Wasn't he _not_ supposed to be the instigator? His arms wrapped around Valen, there really wasn't much difference.

Valen kissed him again, surprised it was even happening.

Erol nuzzled Valen's cheek. This behavior had become _way_ too easy.

Val grinned and then began to attack Erol's neck. What harm was there in this?

Erol whimpered slightly.

It was this that finally tipped Valen off that there actually _might_ be something wrong with kissing his best friend. He couldn't decide whether or not to pull away, so he sort of just held Erol close to him, indecisive.

"Valen?"

"What?"

"What the hell were we doing?"

"I have no idea."

"Can we mutually agree _not_ to do that again as it would probably be a bad idea?"

"I believe so." Val pulled away. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go wash my mouth out with mouthwash." He turned and left.

Erol raised an eyebrow, didn't mouthwash contain...alcohol?

--

Valen walked away, rubbing off his lips in dismay. He knew he had mouthwash in his bathroom - mostly for show and just in case someone else needed to stay there. So that's where he headed. He wasn't planning on really doing anything but staring at it for a moment, but whatever…

Eventually he made it back to his washroom and, after a moment of reflecting about how this was a useless and stupid idea, got out the mouthwash, poured a little into a cup and stared at it blankly.

"What in the world are you doing?"

"I am deciding whether or not I should consume this mouthwash."

"My, my, someone's being overdramatic about something."

"Is this news to you?"

Razer gave his boyfriend an amused look from the doorway, "Not really. What's it over this time?"

"Well, it's a _long_ story…" One he didn't exactly feel like elaborating on.

"I see..." the racer walked into the bathroom, and took hold of Valen's hand, making him upend the mouthwash into the sink. "You're my little drama queen sometimes."

"Only sometimes? I'm not doing my job properly." Valen looked sadly at the mouthwash going down the drain.

Razer rolled his eyes and ruffled Val's hair.

Usually Valen would bat his hand away or something, but he didn't have the energy. He'd _kissed_ Erol. It wouldn't have mattered so much if Erol hadn't been married and he hadn't been in a relationship… But both were not the case and that made him feel even worse.

"Alright, spill. What happened?"

"Well… I went to go tear some information out of Erol and Kaen this morning… Kaen opened right up and sort of exploded… Then with Erol…" he sighed. "It wouldn't have been so bad under any other circumstances…"

"Keep going, I'm still not on the same page."

"Well, he started to tell me - after some…more forcefully coaxing - what had happened to him. After he'd explained, I gave him a hug and he…" Val made a face, "He _kissed_ me."

Razer had a hard time keeping a straight face. "That...that's what's bothering you?"

"Yes."

"Don't worry about it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's no big deal. He's a head case - currently anyway - and..." He shrugged, "It's nothing for you to contemplate pretending to kill yourself over."

"But…" Valen sighed and shook his head. "I don't know… It just felt wrong…"

Razer sighed, "Slightly immoral, but people would say that the pair of us are immoral, so..."

"If that's true over three fourths of the world are immoral I just don't know…" he ran a hand through his hair. Why had he done what he'd done?

Razer kissed Val's forehead.

"So you forgive me?"

"Of course."

"Good. God! There's something wrong with me!"

"No there's not." And Razer's lips met his boyfriend's.

For some reason, Val had a sneaking suspicion about where the kiss was going…

Razer was thinking much along the same lines.

--

Erol was still sitting in his and Kaen's room, rather dazed. Had he actually _kissed_ Valen? No...It wasn't possible. But he knew that it really was and he had. He scratched again at the collar encircling his throat, wondering when Kaen would be coming back, or if she was actually planning on coming back anytime soon. He hoped so.

"Enjoy your kiss?" an amused voice said from behind him. "Seemed quite passionate to me from where I was standing. Have you possibly fallen in love with someone else?"

That made Erol practically jump out of his skin. He was on his feet and facing the speaker before he was aware he'd thought about moving. "Did…did you see that? I haven't fallen in love with Val, don't worry. But will you end up hitting me if I say I've been subjected to far worse kisses?"

Kaen sighed, "As have I. I was only teasing, I don't really care. It was fate taking care of itself."

He blinked, "Alright then." More scratching at the collar.

"Does that collar bug you?"

He lowered his hand, "How'd you guess?"

"Was that sarcasm at work?"

"Possibly."

"You astound me."

"I know."

"And lookie here – my husband actually exists in that strange exterior!"

"Yeah, I'm still here somewhere."

"That's good…" Suddenly her eyes glazed over and she collapsed.

"Kaen!" Again unaware of moving he found himself beside with his phone out paging the doctor.

She didn't respond.

A moment later, there was a doctor in the room. "Dear god…" he muttered.

Erol glanced up, "Off the bat, can you tell me she won't die?"

"No, she won't die, but she'll need to be helped…It may take two or three weeks… And, uh, she won't be able to have any sort of normal contact…Like touch…"

He nodded. "Fine."

"Go away."

And Erol was gone.


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

Well, here we are again with another update. Same disclaimer as usual. Erol, Torn and Ashelin belong to Naughty Dog. Everyone else is ours.

That formality out of the way, on with the story.

* * *

It turned out that it was two weeks before Kaen was better. Erol had been doing his best to avoid contact, but seemed to have started getting better about it. They were some of the longest two weeks of his life, and reminded him painfully of when Kaen had actually died.

Kaen despite the fact she was physically better, was having trouble emotionally coping. True, she knew that it was an impossible wish, but what she truly wanted was her husband hugging her and keeping her safe. After two weeks to ponder this, Kaen had become just a tad bit bitter at Erol and his 'touch-a-phobia' problem.

After being told that he could be with her, the first thing that Erol did was go see his wife. He walked into the room, "Hey sweetheart."

"Hello love."

He sat down on the bed next to her, and with only a slight hesitation put his arms around her. "How're you feeling?"

"Fine."

"I'm glad."

She nodded. Why she was _that_ angry, she'd never know, but she was seething internally. Possibly for the first time in her entire life, Kaen didn't even make the effort to hug Erol back.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"So are you."

"What are you talking about?"

"About everything since we've returned!"

He pulled his arms away, "What have I been lying about?!"

"Or maybe it's just the lack of it! You won't say what happened to you! I don't feel like I don't know who you are anymore! I'm getting mixed signals about what you want from me, because you just don't voice what's wrong!"

He cringed and edged away, "Sorry…"

"And there you go again, apologizing weakly as if I'm going to kill you! What the hell happened to you?! I'm tired of having the pathetic excuse for a man you hid under for the last three years! Can't you at least pretend you still want to be my husband?!"

"Kaen… I love you, but… I don't want to talk about it. I'm overreacting over nothing compared to what you went through. And… God, I don't even know anymore."

"More secrets? Even after all this? Obviously something terrible happened and now you're terrified of touch! And newsflash Erol! I need to have a second child even if you can't give to me! Think of that!"

He did, and felt sick. What the hell _was_ his problem anyway? He looked away shamefully.

"Just tell me what happened! I'd rather hear it from you than Valen!"

"Fine. I was the entire gang's bitch, they passed me around from person to person like I wasn't even human, raped me and slapped _this_ on me," he gestured to the collar _still_ around his neck, along with the gouge marks he'd ended up making in his desperation to try and get it off, "So I wouldn't forget my true position."

"There we go! Was that so hard?!"

"No…" he began to dig at the collar again. He wanted it _off_.

"Stop scratching. Take it from me." Kaen leaned forward and spent a few seconds battling with it before she got it off. "There. You're free."

"Thank you." He rubbed his neck.

"You're welcome. Sorry for snapping, but…I needed my husband back."

"It's okay." Now his neck just hurt, "Sorry for making you resort to it."

"So anything you want to yell at me for?"

"You were a whore?!" But there was no anger in his voice and honestly very little change in volume.

"Yes, I was. A dirty, filthy, diseased whore. Unfortunately, except for the last descriptive word, I'm still that. Which sucks. I'd much rather be normal, not hookerish Kaen."

"I love you, no matter what." And he put his arms back around her, "Sorry for holding back what happened."

"It's alright. I'm more used to being screwed up than you." She hugged him back this time. "So it's all good."

He nuzzled her, glad to have his wife back.

After a moment of indecisiveness, Kaen leaned up and kissed him.

He returned it. Life suddenly felt altogether more stable.

She pulled him closer to her. This brought a whole new meaning to her 'any topic' theory.

His lips brushed her neck gently.

Kaen was about to return the action when the scent of his blood it her. Never before had she pulled away so fast.

It shocked him, "Kaen?"

"Cover your neck. Please cover your neck."

He unwrapped the red band from around his right bicep, and wrapped the cloth around his neck. "Sorry…Didn't think of that."

"It's okay…I just realized…I was craving…" she was shaking slightly from the effort of restraining her It.

He nodded, slipping his arms back around her; it seemed to have helped last time.

She cuddled up against him, "It's hopeless."

"Nothing's hopeless." He said, rubbing his nose in her hair.

"We are."

"Okay…_most_ things aren't hopeless," he said. It was then that something dawned on him. "When are we getting Ara back?"

"Soon. I made sure that she wouldn't come until you got better. Ara was the _last_ thing you needed while you were unstable."

"Probably…"

"In the meantime, I'm going to sleep... You going or staying?"

"I believe I'll stay."

"Good. Which leads to another question…"

"Yes?"

"You sleepy too?"

"Somewhat."

"Okay." She closed her eyes and lay back down. "Well, come sleep if you want."

He lay down next to her and was quickly asleep.

Kaen watched him for a moment before falling asleep too.

Valen burst in about two minutes later, but stopped short when he saw the pair. Well, his work in Haven was done.

--

Erol woke up hours later, feeling more rested than he'd been in ages, and more like himself than he ever had around White. He sat up slowly, trying not to disturb Kaen.

Kaen rolled over to face him, "Good afternoon love."

"Afternoon sweetheart. Sleep well?"

"Better than I have in a long time. Three years in fact." She curled up against him. "However, I'm in a bind."

"Oh? Why?"

"It's icy in here."

"Would you like me to fix that for you?"

"Will you come back after?"

"Naturally."

"Then yes please."

He laughed and got up, setting the thermostat back to its normal setting before returning to her. "I still fail to see why _you_ of all people turned it down."

"Cause of how I was living. It was too much of a transition from freezing to boiling. But what a glory heat is!"

He rolled his eyes. "Does Dad have central heating yet?"

"No, but it was warmer than outside."

"It always was that. He did like to make sure we didn't quite freeze." He nuzzled her, "I missed you."

"I missed you too. Let's make a deal."

"I'm listening."

"No matter what happens from now on, we will _not_ separate. Agreed?"

"Agreed," and he sealed it with a kiss.

To simply put it, Kaen had no issue with how he'd chosen to seal the bargain.

He nuzzled her again, "I love you."

"Love you too." And she hoped she always would.

"So…should we get up?"

"I don't know…We _should_, I'm just not sure if I'm in favor of the idea…"

"I see…Well we don't have to, but what else will we do?"

"This is true...Any ideas or should we just get up?"

"Well I know one thing we could do, but I rather don't feel like it. Probably we should just get up."

She nodded and sat up. "I better give Torn a call then…"

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Why?"

"Who'd you think was watching Ara? Your family? Arbner?"

"I didn't know."

"Why else would I force myself to call that slimy excuse for a person?"

"No idea. What difference would it make if you called Ashelin?"

"She'll be busy. Plus, I think you'll want to meet Rano."

"Rano? Their kid?"

"She's a sweet little thing, but she doesn't detach from Torn."

Erol nodded, "For some reason that doesn't surprise me. Odd name for a girl though..."

"Rano is the short version. Can't remember the long version for the life of me, but whatever. That's why Ara chose a simple name - so I could remember it."

Erol laughed, "Knowing Ashelin the poor girl's got an apostrophe in the middle somewhere. It _is_ hard to forget the name Ara."

"Lucky for me. And Rano's name _does_ have an apostrophe in it…somewhere…"

"Wow...lucky guess."

"I have long been under the impression that somewhere deep down you _do_ have a brain."

"Maybe..."

"Only maybe? Like, you secretly agree or more like you really aren't sure?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Well, you _are_ smart. In the meantime, I need to go to the washroom." She'd noticed her gaining of weight since getting sick.

He caught her before she got anywhere, "Not to throw up I hope."

"What would give you that impression?"

"The look that briefly appeared on your face."

"Well… Of course I'm not."

"You'd better not. If you do..." He let the threat hang.

"If I do?" She pulled away from him and went into the bathroom. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

He got up and went to go stand just to the side of the on suite bathroom. Hell would freeze over before he let her continue being bulimic.

She had become quite good at hiding her purging after three years of addiction. No one would hear her unless they had amazingly talented ears and she didn't know anyone who did. Of course, if they were standing close enough to the door… She shrugged and finished quickly. No sense in taking a long time.

"So, not throwing up are you?"

"Nope. Not throwing up." Anymore…

"You are _not_ going to keep that up."

She rolled her eyes. "It's no big deal."

"Yes it is. You're going to stop."

"And if I tell you I can't…?"

"It takes three weeks to break a habit. I think I can manage you that long."

"I dare you. You can't watch me at all times."

"Want to bet?"

"Fine. The stakes?"

"No idea."

"Alright. Then no, I won't bet. You'll lose anyways."

"We'll see." He smirked, this was one bet he wouldn't allow himself to lose.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I wasn't finished… Well, I was, but now I'm not."

"And you've now successfully confused me but I'll let you do your own thing." He paused and added a strangely threatening, "For the moment."

"Good for you." And she promptly went back to her previous activity.

If he were capable of it, Erol would've slapped her, but he wasn't, so he didn't. This _would_ be her last voluntary purge however.

"There," she said, wiping her mouth a moment later. "All better. Now I can face the day and the fridge."

He gave her an annoyed look before letting it slide. "Do what you will."

"Thank god. So you're not going to badger me?"

"Depends on what you _will_ be doing."

"Making sure I stay thin?"

"Hell no. You do _not_ need to worry about that."

"You sure about that?" she looked down at her stomach and poked it.

"Positive. I prefer it when I can't stick you under Jance's weight class."

"Funny… I never thought about it that way…" She glared at her stomach once more, cursing the tiny amount of actual fat on it.

"Besides, you're much prettier when I can't see every one of your bones." It was something of a gamble with his phrasing and he knew it.

"Should I be insulted?" Now she was worried. Up until then, people had complemented her thinness, not dismissed it.

"No, not at all."

"But you just insulted me. Or gave constructive criticism."

"I'd think of it as my personal opinion of the situation."

"It's just…I don't know. Maybe this whole thing just gave me low self esteem."

"You're not the only one it did that to."

"But _you're_ not throwing up every morning, afternoon and night."

He nodded, "True, but _you're_ not skittish and jumpy."

"And you haven't been acting that way since we talked. Or rather, I yelled and you talked, cause I'm a bitch like that…"

"I'm better with you, not the rest of the world yet." He brushed some hair out of her face, "Now, wasn't there something you were going to do?"

"Get ready for the day? Or was there something else I've forgotten?"

"I believed it involved our daughter."

"Oh. Right. Ara." She sighed and went over to the phone. "We better get ready - she's a bit of a neat freak and you'll want to make a good impression."

Erol nodded, wondering just what his daughter was like. A three year old who was a neat freak? But he said nothing and proceeded to get changed.

--

Kaen made the call with a fair bit of hesitation. Even after she'd hung up she wasn't so sure she'd done the right thing. Sure, Ara did love _her_ as much as Ara could love, but Kaen wasn't exactly positive on how she'd react to Erol. But she went and got ready anyway, trying to put it from her mind.

"You seem...troubled sweetheart."

"It's just Ara. I'm afraid of how she'll react to you. She's very…opinionated about people, especially when they pose what she thinks is a threat to her. You will in a way… But she might adore you too, if you can call it adoring…"

"She's rather messed up, isn't she?"

"You have _no_ idea. Aaric forgot one major key component when he sent her back."

"And that would be?" Erol asked, fearing the answer.

"Her soul."

"Oh god... Thanks for the heads up."

"Yeah… She makes Valen the schizophrenic look normal." A doorbell rang faintly from below. "And now you get to see first hand."

"Alright..."

Kaen groaned internally and headed downstairs.

--

Torn was waiting in the doorway, not quite looking pissed off, but he wasn't overly pleased either. So he looked normal for him. In front of him was a little girl with red hair, and if anyone noticed there was a littler girl clinging to and hiding behind his left leg.

"Mother," the red headed child said as Kaen walked down the stairs. "It is good to see you in more proper attire. Is it not, Uncle Torn?"

"Yeah," his response was short and clipped, as usual.

Erol wasn't too far behind his wife, and was wholly unsure what to expect anymore.

"Who is that man behind you Mother?" the child, who was obviously Ara, asked curiously, walking forward a little. "Why is he following you?"

Kaen bit her bottom lip. "Ara, this is your father. He's come back to us."

The girl gave him a cynical smile. "But for how long?"

"Hopefully for good," he said, attempting to get a read on her. It was harder than he'd thought.

"I do hope so. You have not been very kind to Mother and I, though I do not believe it is your fault. You seem very skittish, like a dog who has been hit one too many times. Did _they_ do it to you? It is quite funny though, how you do not jump away from Mother…"

"Is it now?" It was strange being analyzed by a three year old. "_They_ did, in fact, make me this way."

"It is queer…" she looked at him thoughtfully. "Mother never mentioned you were both a racer _and_ a solider…"

"Didn't she?" He looked at Kaen in a slightly questioning manner.

"I just said you raced. Didn't think the other part was important."

"It is not really, but I was simply amused," her daughter said quietly.

"I see." Odd kid, but he found her rather likeable.

Torn looked bored, "So, you've got your daughter back, does this mean I can go?"

"I suppose. I don't have anything further to say to you, except…how the hell do you pronounce your daughter's full name again?"

"Ranov'la. I swear, I'm not letting Ash name this kid."

The little girl clinging to Torn's leg peeked out at everyone, her blue-green eyes seeming too big for her face as she looked at her surroundings.

"Hey Rano," Kaen said kindly. The little girl was amazingly adorable for something Torn could produce.

She squeaked and gripped her father's leg tighter before giving Kaen a shy little wave with as little movement as possible.

"I swear Torn; she's going to actually attach herself to your leg one day."

He sighed and looked down at his daughter, expression actually softening somewhat, "Yeah, I know..."

"It's quite cute really. I don't think we'll have that problem with _our_ daughter…" Kaen glanced at her firstborn, who was muttering to herself in a corner.

"Yeah, I don't see that happening with her."

Erol was looking at Rano, and she was staring back at him as though he were some fascinating new thing she'd never seen before.

"Go away now."

Torn nodded, "With pleasure. See you." And he turned and left, Rano - naturally - going with him.

"Well," the crime lady said, turning to her husband, "That's that."

"So it would seem."

"What do you think of our firstborn child?"

"Interesting." He watched Ara for a moment longer before adding quietly to his wife, "Though I think I get why you say you need another one."

"Yeah… Kinda obvious… Whether it's yours is the question…"

He gave her a very pointed look that said, 'I will be having serious words with you if it is not.'

"WHAT?! You're scared of touch!"

"Not with you."

"Oh. Okay."

"_You _astound _me_ sometimes."

"I know." She stuck her tongue out at him.

He grinned, before thinking back on the previous conversation with Torn. "Hey, I'm confused about something Torn said..."

"Yep?"

"What was he referring to when he said he wasn't letting Ashelin name 'this' kid?"

"She must be pregnant again."

"Oh... From the way that conversation went I thought you'd been in a constant contact with them."

"I have, but not too too recently. I spent more time with Jade and Etain."

"Ah...I wonder how Jade is now..."

"I hope he's alright. God, I feel like such a plague..."

"You're not. Don't worry."

"You seem so sure about all of this…"

"It's because I am."

"Are you?"

"He is," Ara cut in. "Because he knows you better than you believe he does Mother. It is odd that this is the case, but who am I to judge?"

Erol shrugged.

Kaen rolled her eyes.

Ara stared at them both and left the room.

"She's definitely an odd one..."

"I know. But I love her anyway."

Erol just nodded.

"You're awfully quiet today…"

"Sorry, just thinking, that's all."

"About what?" she wrapped her arms around him.

"A lot. Us, Ara, Jade and them..."

"It's all going to work out, you know that, right?"

"I do."

"Good. Now, shall we find luncheon?"

He smirked, "Sounds good to me."


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

Been quite a while since we updated, oh well. This is the last update. Hooray for chapter dumping!

Same disclamer as usual. Erol, Torn and Ashelin are Naughty Dog's. Everyone else is ours.

* * *

The next week or so seemed to fly by. After making sure one more time that his friends were alright, Valen had headed off to somewhere he found warm. Ara had learned that she hated Rano's true name. Kaen was about ready to punch through a wall from job stress. Simply put, everything was well with the world.

Erol was well on his way to breaking Kaen's bulimia habit once and for all, which made him rather pleased with himself. He walked over to her, "So, I was thinking..."

"Yes? That you will let me lose weight?"

"'Fraid not. No, I've found myself being rather concerned about Jade and everyone down there. So I was wondering if you were up for a trip."

"That _will_ make me throw up. Sure, I'll come. Can we leave Ara here?"

"I think it'd be better if we did."

"Good." Kaen sighed and got up from her desk, where she'd been doing some Black Ops organizing. "Well, I'd have to face them sometime… Will you be there the whole time?"

"Of course. Though I think I'll still be the one they'll assault first."

"This is true, but I don't like the idea of going in on my own. Call me a chicken, but I'm scared."

"It's okay. They _can_ be intimidating. Though I think Jance will still side with us...I think he's there..."

"One of these days I should give him a house…" She took her husband's hand. "Let's go then. There's no time like the present."

He nodded and led her out of her office. "You know, _most_ people can't say things like 'give him a house' and mean it."

"I'm not most people."

"I know you aren't."

"It's only a _house_. It's not as if I don't have plenty more."

He rolled his eyes. "Let's just go."

"Fine, fine - I'm not stopping you. You just seem uptight about a _house_. I thought you'd be used to it by now."

"It's hard to be used to. Part of me remains, and always will remain, a slummer at heart."

"That's why I love you."

He grinned and kissed her before actually managing to get to the entranceway.

"You are a very funny person sometimes."

He smirked, "I know."

She rolled her eyes.

And on that note they left, heading down to the slums to go face whatever would meet them there.

Ara watched her parents go with interest. They were queer creatures…it was easy to see how they were her parents.

--

Erol walked up the front steps to his father's house, unable to completely forget what had happened there three years earlier. He sighed and knocked, this was probably going to be one of the _weirdest_ confrontations he'd ever had with his family.

Kaen squeezed his hand - she was terrified.

The door opened slightly. "Yeah?" Etain said from within.

"Hey Etain." Erol said, trying to keep his voice conversational.

"Hey…Erol?" She poked her head out a little farther. "What're you doing here?"

"Strange as it sounds, I wanted to know how Jade was."

"Uh… Okay. C'mon in…" She opened the door a little wider. "Who'd you bring?"

"My wife, or as you've known her for the past three years...Kaylee."

"KAYLEE WAS YOUR WIFE?!" Etain said in astonishment. "She'd never sink that low!"

Kaen smiled at the younger woman. "Sorry to say it, but I did."

"Are you for real? That's weird… Oh well, saves you the trouble of finding another person in the family to marry so you could become my sister." Now she flung the door open. "Come on in."

Erol nodded, "Thanks." He stepped in.

Kaen blushed and followed. Never before had she felt this awkward.

"Yeah, so just go sit down in the living room. I'll go scrounge up my family." With that, Etain ran off.

"Well...that could've been _a lot _worse." Erol said quietly. Of course there were still the rest of them to deal with, but if Etain was any indication...

"Sure could've been. Can we go sit down now?"

He nodded.

Kaen headed off into the living room and sat down on the floor, just as she had so many times in the past two years.

Erol glanced around for a moment before joining her.

Etain finally walked into the living room with both her brothers in tow. Promptly she sat down on the couch in the exact same way as Kaen was sitting on the floor.

Jance rolled his eyes at her. Jade just looked lost.

"Hey Erol, been a while since I saw you." Jance said.

"Yeah...Like three years." The redhead was looking at his younger brother, "Hey Jade."

He got a wave in reply.

Kaen timidly smiled at the teen. "Hey Jade."

Another wave and he went to sit down silently next to his sister.

Jance looked thoughtful. "Be right back," he said, before exiting the living room again.

"So…" Etain said, trying to break the silence. "You didn't die."

"No..." Erol said, unsure who she was directing the statement at.

"I was talking to your wife."

Kaen sighed. "No, the doctors at the manor saved me in time."

The teen girl nodded.

Jance came back carrying a sizable stack of paper and a pen. He walked over to Jade. "Here you go."

Jade took the paper like it was his one and only lifeline to survive.

"Is he only talking via paper right now?" Kaen asked.

Jance nodded, "Yeah..."

Jade raised a hand to his throat and tapped it a couple times, then shook his head.

"Shock."

Jade nodded.

"You going to be okay?"

He nodded again. Then scrawled 'At least Jance says so' on one of the sheets and held it up for her to read.

"Jance often gets things right," she laughed. Then, in a more serious tone, she asked, "_Do_ you hate me now?"

The teen looked contemplative, before writing again, 'No. You just scare the shit out of me at the moment.'

"Just doing my duty then?"

He managed a grin and nodded.

"Excellent. I have done at least one good thing in my life" Kaen groaned and leaned back against the wall. "You know…I'm cold."

Erol couldn't resist a laugh as he pulled her close.

She snuggled up against him, leaning her head on his chest. "You're warm."

He grinned and rubbed his nose against her cheek, "Aren't I though?"

Jade held up a paper, 'You're cold?'

"Actually, the other me would like to live in a furnace, as your brother put it."

'Oh...'

Erol rolled his eyes.

"And your brother seems to give off an awful lot of heat, especially when he talks."

Jade laughed, not out loud, but he still laughed.

Erol sighed and shook his head hopelessly, "I walked right into that, didn't I?"

"Like always."

He nuzzled her.

"Hey, Etain..." Jance said, "Not that I think Erol really wants to talk to him, but, where's Dad?"

"Umm… Let me see if I can find him." Etain got up and left again.

"You've been awfully quiet Jance," Kaen commented.

"I didn't know you were expecting me to be loud."

'He's shut up since I lost my voice.' Jade's paper informed the room.

"Why? You didn't see me massacre a room full of people," his sister-in-law sighed.

Jance shrugged. "I feel bad for him."

'Empathetic freak.'

"Ouch… Even your own family's burning you…"

Jance shrugged again. "I'm more than used to it."

'Actually, he's A LOT quieter than I ever remember him being, even before I couldn't talk.'

"Does this have something to do with Kyra?"

Jance glared at Kaen. Three years later and it was still an _extremely_ touchy subject.

Jade looked confused.

"_What_?! You only ever acted like this _after_ you left her."

"Drop it."

Erol sighed, wouldn't Jance be over it by now?

She rolled her eyes. "Then I'll assume it _does_ have something to do with her. It's okay Jance."

"What's okay?" Etain asked, reentering with her father not far behind.

"Jance's…er…_past_…"

"Oh…"

Buir walked over to his daughter-in-law. "So you've been Kaen all this time, have you?"

"Yeah…" she said nervously.

"Hmm," he glanced down at Erol. "And where were _you_ while she was dying in the alleys?"

"Suffering."

Kaen sighed. "He was…in a pretty bad situation too. It wasn't his fault, it was another person completely."

Buir nodded. "Still…you could do better than Jade's brother, even as Kaen. Particularly as Kaylee. It's sad really…"

"Thanks Dad..." Erol muttered; how his father always managed to make him feel worthless he'd never know.

"You're welcome. I expected better from Solah's son, but whatever." Buir sat down on the couch beside his daughter.

"And _I've_ managed to impress you?" Jance couldn't help but ask.

"Yes, yes you have. I've noticed the fact you've so far managed without a girlfriend so far, which is a good sign."

"Oh... Don't see how..."

"You're obviously waiting for the right girl. She's probably out there, waiting for you… Unless you're just planning on never becoming involved with that whole thing."

"Can't say I am." Never again. He was never sending himself through that again.

Erol gave his father an odd look, "Are you saying that Kaen's _not_ the right one for me?"

"I don't think you're the right one for her."

"Ah."

Kaen stood up. "Well, I have to go. There's a meeting I have to attend to this evening and I need to prepare. See you all later I hope."

Buir nodded. "Yes… Maybe even without him around…"

Etain looked disappointed. "Okay… See you Kay…I mean, Kaen."

Erol stood, "I'm assuming that this is my cue to go, unless anyone's got objections..."

"Nope," his father said a little _too_ forcefully.

Erol glared at him. "Before I go though, apart from the fact that I left, what _exactly_ is your problem with me?"

"You're the reason my first wife is dead. Now go away."

Kaen tugged on her husband's arm. "Erol, let's just go."

He glared at his father for a moment longer, "Yeah alright..."

His wife winced; the whole visit had been rather messy. So, amazingly desperate to leave, Kaen headed out the door, narrowly avoiding tripping down the front steps.

As Erol was leaving, he abruptly heard someone angrily chime in, "How can you blame him for that?!" He paused and blinked, it'd been a male voice and definitely wasn't Jance's...

"Was that _Jade_ talking?" Kaen asked, astonished.

"Unless Etain suddenly turned into a guy or Jance is trying an impersonation...I think it was."

"Apparently you have someone who's finally siding with you."

"Yeah..." Other than Jance. It was a bit of a shock.

"Well, c'mon. I don't actually have a meeting, but I'm tired again. And I'm scared what Ara may be doing to our house."

He nodded, "Yeah...God knows, we probably shouldn't leave her to her own devices for extended amounts of time."

"This whole heir affair is more trouble than it's worth."

Erol smirked as he fell into step next to her, "Well, I suppose it's this or you give Haven to you brother..."

"Hell no. It's either this or let the city go down with me. Or it'll pass to you, depending on whether or not you or I die first."

"Don't worry, eventually you'll figure it out."

"I hope so." She took his hand. "Life has a way of working itself out."

He gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. "That it does."

"Has Valen left yet?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering. Me and Cayden had a bet…"

"Oh? On what and how much?"

"I said Valen would take off the moment we were cured and Cayden said he'd stick around for a little while. He owes me a chocolate bar."

"Very nice."

--

"Mother! Father! You have arrived!" Ara exclaimed as her parents entered the manor. "I was beginning to believe you had died out there due to the city's toxic air."

"No, we didn't. You don't have to worry about stuff like that..."

"I assure you, I do. The world would not function properly if I did not. Now, you and mother both looked chilled and slightly depressed. In my opinion, some hot chocolate and a nap should cure this."

Erol laughed, "I'll pass on sleeping."

"Then maybe you should go for a nice walk in the conservatory or the hallway."

Erol shot his wife a look. Ara had been in the hallway?

Kaen felt nervousness take over her once again. "Have you been down my hallway Ara?"

"Yes Mother, several times since returning. It is a truly beautiful work of art. I can still see the creator of that hallway lurking within you."

Erol glanced at his wife, suddenly concerned.

She felt a shudder run through her. "Oh…that's…nice…"

"Do I scare you Mother? Father? Is what I am troubling? I do not believe so. Now, if you will excuse me, I shall be in my room." The little girl turned and left.

"She's quite warped, isn't she?"

"Yeah… Do you really think she could _see_ It in me?"

"I don't know sweetheart. We both know it's _there_, but...I don't know."

She sighed. "Maybe Ara's right and we do just need to let down. I _cannot_ believe your father would talk to you that way!"

"You've never seen him at his worst. That was damn near civil really."

"But blaming you for your mother's death in front of _me_, who is the cause… It was downright cruel."

"We both know neither of us could've stopped your father."

"No…but if I had only snapped _sooner_…"

"Don't say that. It wasn't your fault, quit taking the blame."

"But it's mine to take!"

"No, it's not."

"Yes it is."

"It's not."

"It is."

"Not. Do you realize what a pointless argument this is?"

"Yes, I am well aware. But we have nothing better to do."

Erol was about to respond when there was a knock at the door. He looked at the door, then back at his wife, "Think we should get that?"

"No, but the butler should," Kaen sighed. "I hate when he has days off."

"I was unaware butlers required vacations."

"His mother died."

"Oh…" Erol looked back at the door, "I guess I'll get it…"

"Whatever trips your trigger."

He rolled his eyes and went to answer the door. He blinked in confusion when he opened it and found Torn on the porch, "Um…hey. What are you doing here?"

Torn sighed, "This is really weird to ask, but can you watch Rano for a while?"

"I guess…why?"

The other man didn't reply for a moment, coaxing his daughter away from his leg. "Ash's in labor, so…" he gave Rano a gentle nudge towards Erol.

"Oh is she?" Kaen asked, surprised, "It seems early for some reason."

"It is, by a couple weeks, nothing big." Torn said.

"Ah…can I hitch a ride?"

"If you want to… I suppose… I'm going now, so…"

Rano was looking skittishly at Erol, unsure what to make of him.

"Erol? Can you make sure Ara doesn't socialize with Rano?"

"Sure, we don't want them warping each other."

Torn rolled his eyes, giving Kaen a rather impatient look.

"Let's go."

The Freedom League commander nodded and turned to head off.

Kaen followed, highly amused by the whole turn of events.

Erol shut the door behind them and was somewhat shocked when Rano latched on to one of his legs.

"Father? Who is…Rano!" Ara cried, running down the steps.

Rano squeaked and tried to hide from the other girl.

"Yes, Rano's here." Erol said calmly, putting a hand on Rano's head.

"May I play with her?"

"Maybe later. I think she needs to adjust to being here first."

"But…I have such plans for us!"

"Give her a while."

"I want to take her down Father! To the hallway!"

"No." He said very firmly, "She doesn't need to see that."

"But Father…"

"No Ara. She doesn't need to see it."

"Can _I_ go?"

"Sure, go for it."

"Thank you Father. Oh and…" she produced a chocolate bar, "This is for Rano."

Rano peeked around Erol's leg to see what the other girl had.

"Come fetch the chocolate Rano."

For a moment it looked like Rano was going to let go of the former commander but she shrank back against him again.

"Please Rano!"

And then the younger girl actually left her sanctuary of Erol's leg and walked tentatively to Ara.

Ara grabbed Rano's hand. "Come on! Let us go!" And she dragged the other girl upstairs.

Erol sighed; it _should_ be alright as long as Ara didn't drag Rano down the hallway.

"Well your daughter is certainly a chip off the old oak, isn't she?"

Erol jumped and looked around for the speaker, "How so?"

Hurst hobbled up to him. "Psychotic, red headed, can see into people's souls...Excellent."

He nodded slowly, not sure what the deranged gardener was talking about, "Yeah..."

"Where's your wife?"

"She went with Torn to the hospital, I don't know what for."

"Ah...blackmail...beautiful..." he got a look of bliss upon his face.

"Alright then..." Erol said edging away.

"Oh, I came to give you a gift." Hurst pulled out an apple. "From the trees."

"Um...Thanks..." he took the apple gingerly.

"Goodbye." The gardener left.

Erol was left standing in the entranceway, staring at the apple. What was wrong with everyone?

--

About five hours later, Kaen returned to her manor, feeling both sad and pleased. "Hello?" she called as she came inside, "Anyone here?"

Erol appeared at the top of the stairs, "Hey sweetheart."

"Hey love. Where do I put my coat?"

He pointed to the coat rack, "Right there."

"What's that?" she hung her coat up.

"It's the coat rack."

"What's a coat rack?"

He came down the stairs, "It's a rack you put your coat on. Or in your case, that the butler puts your coat on for you." He walked over, "So how was it?"

"Both hilarious and depressing."

"Oh?"

"Well, the kid was a stillborn..."

"I'm guessing that's _not_ the hilarious part."

"No... But I made Torn cry."

"Nice."

"Yeah..." she sighed, "It was weird. What'd you do?"

"Nothing much. Ara bribed Rano with chocolate, I'm pretty sure they didn't go in the hallway..." And suddenly as though her name had summoned her, Rano came bolting down the stairs and promptly attached herself to Erol's legs.

"Well, that's good..._Ara_!"

"Yes Mother?" her daughter appeared at the top of the stairs. "We did not go down your hallway."

"Good. Go away."

"Well that's awfully random..." Erol said looking down at Rano.

"Isn't it? I dunno if Torn'll pick Rano up, so we may have to get her up with a room."

Rano looked up at Kaen, her already large eyes huge, "Daddy's not coming?"

"I dunno Rano. He might not come back yet. But you'll have a room away from Ara."

"But...home..."

"Sorry but neither of you parents are home."

"Mommy was screaming," Rano mumbled.

"Yeah, but she's better now..." Sort of.

"So why's she not home?"

"She...needs to rest. As do I. Some interesting news came my way and now I am...tired as well." Kaen said the last part quieter than the rest.

Erol gave his wife a sympathetic look, "You should probably go lie down or something," he told her, "I'll probably join you in a while."

Rano leaned up against Erol's leg as she looked up at him, "Up?" she asked hopefully.

He lifted the girl and she snuggled up against him, putting her head on his shoulder. He addressed his wife again, "I hope you won't actually withhold the information from me."

"It's no big deal... It just threw a wrench into my plans. Kid wise that is."

"Well, I'll still want to hear it."

"If you _must_ know, the doctor said I have a ninety percent chance of dying if I have another kid."

"It's good to know these things, knowing you though...you'll be finding a way around it."

Rano yawned and closed her eyes.

"You should put her to bed. Rather, you should give her to a nurse who will put her to bed."

He nodded, "I don't think Torn's coming back tonight, so I'll pass her off in a few minutes."

"Okay. I'm going to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be better."


	28. Chapter Twenty Seven

Chapter two of the final uploading. Hope you like it.

Erol, Torn, and Ashelin are Naughty Dog's. Everyone else is ours. Except Razer. He's in here too apparently, or rather, is mentioned.

* * *

About a year passed, and nothing major happened. Jance was given his own house and Torn and Ashelin eventually had a second child, a son named Atin.

It started out like any other day, so not had the idea that anything out of the ordinary might happen,

"Morning," Kaen said as she woke up. "Rise and shine."

Erol opened his eyes and rolled over, "You're surprisingly cheery this morning."

"I haven't thrown up."

"Glad to hear it." How long was _that_ going to last?

"I know so am…" her stomach suddenly churned. "Actually, be right back." She ran to the bathroom.

He rolled his eyes.

She returned moments later, "You know, I think I'm pregnant."

"Do you?" It'd been going on for a few weeks now and he'd been beginning to think along the same lines. "It would make sense, _wouldn't_ it? Think you get some confirmation?"

"Probably should… But I'll have to later, there's a shipment I need to watch over today. Torn's been tipped off, which means I've got to do, uh, give out some _incentives_…"

Erol laughed quietly, "Nice," he got up out of bed, "Well, let me know if you need me to do anything."

"Wanna come? Then you can give me chocolate out of that mysterious place you keep chocolate bars!"

"I _could_. Unless you think I'll just be in your way..."

"You're never in my way love." She got out of bed and stretched. "At least, not so far."

He smirked. "And I'll try to stay that way."

"Good. It's always cold and I don't generate enough body heat. Ever."

"I have yet to understand why you don't..."

"Cause I'm blue blooded?"

He shrugged, "Maybe."

"Who knows," she sighed. "Well, let's get down there. I have a funny feeling that something unexpected is going to happen today."

"Good, that'll make life interesting again.

"I hope so, unless it involves your dying."

"I don't think I will, but I'll get back to you on it if I randomly kick it."

"You won't have to - I'll be following this time."

He walked over and gave her a hug, "If you _are _pregnant, I don't think I'll be too pleased about that."

"That's true. Maybe I'll wait until the baby's born and _then_ follow you. Assuming it's a baby. But that's my prediction at the moment."

"Mine too. If I _do_ die today and it _is_ a baby, then I suppose I won't complain too much if you have it and then join me. But there are a lot of strange factors there."

"Such as?"

"_If_ I die, and _if_ you're pregnant."

"Point. But I don't think it's you who's going to die…"

"Well, we'll just have to see what happens today, won't we?"

"As always. Do you think Ara's broken out of her room yet…"

"Maybe. I wouldn't be surprised if she had."

"Creepy kid."

"Yep..."

"Alright. Well, you ready to go yet" Kaen was already dressed and prepared for the day.

"I will be in about two minutes."

"What's taking you so long?"

"Well, the fact that I got out of bed about a minute and a half ago and the fact that I'm standing here holding a conversation while hugging you, _might_ be playing into it."

"Point. How the hell do I get ready so fast?"

He shrugged and let go of her. "Mystery to even me, and I watch you."

"I like mysteries. They keep life interesting."

"That they do." And Erol proceeded to get ready for the day.

Little did they know that Kaen's prediction was, like always, to come true in the most awful sense.

"So...what exactly are you planning on having me do while we look after this shipment of yours?" Erol asked his wife.

"Umm Giving me chocolate and keeping me warm."

"Easy enough." And he handed her a randomly produced bar of chocolate.

"You are an angel." She opened the bar of chocolate and took a bite. "A very nice, slightly psychotic, totally infuriating angel."

"Thank you. So are you."

"That could either be a compliment or an insult."

"I meant it as a compliment."

"Oh, okay. That's good. Are you ready to go _now_?"

"Yes."

"Then shall we?"

"I think we shall."

Kaen walked out of the room.

Erol, as always followed.

--

The trip to the docks seemed terribly long to the crime lady, mostly because she was fretting about the doctor's appointment she had to make. They said she could die…was she ready for that again? So, when they finally made it, Kaen was in a considerably more morose mood.

Erol put an arm around his wife's shoulders, wondering what could be bothering her. "What's up sweetheart?"

"Just…remember what the doctor told me? I'm worried is all."

He nodded, "Fair enough," he'd forgotten, at least until she mentioned it, and he felt fear settle in the pit of his stomach. "But that won't be for a while if at all."

"This is true." She leaned her head on his shoulder as she surveyed the shipment being unloaded. All seemed normal, but…a feeling in her gut told her otherwise. Something was terribly wrong.

Everything seemed fine; at least it did to Erol. He kissed Kaen's cheek as he watched, it was going fine. Though he had an odd notion that in a short while things wouldn't be,

She had to go check, she _had_ to. Kaen pulled away from her husband and walked towards where the drugs were being unloaded. There was something horribly wrong here.

And, with a loud whack, everything went dark.

It couldn't have been long before she regained consciousness, but the moment she did she regretted it. Above her stood the one and only Arbner and strapped to her torso was a very large bomb. "Dammit," she snapped.

"Oh dear heart, you're awake! True, you've only been asleep for two hours, but no matter. And I haven't even moved you – you're still at the docks," Arbner said with a sigh, stroking her hair, "And soon you'll be dead, isn't that nice?"

"Go to hell Arbner."

"I have – and back too. So now I take my final revenge and this time _I will not fail_."

Erol was panicking he had _no_ idea what had happened to his wife and when he'd tried to head down to the docks, a group of the men taking part in the drug shipment stopped him. He had no idea what was going on but he knew it _couldn't_ turn out well. _At all._

Suddenly his phone rang.

He whipped it out and answered, "Hello?"

"Hello Erol. How are you today?"

"What the hell are you doing calling me?!" It dawned on him, "What the hell have you done to Kaen?!"

"Your beautiful wife is strapped to a bomb."

"_What_?! Arbner you _creep_! When I find you, you are _so_ dead!"

"You've said this before Erol my friend."

"I mean it this time."

"Well, the bomb goes off in ten minutes. Catch me if you can. Here's a hint – I'm nowhere near your wife and I'm nowhere near the water." He disconnected.

"Bloody hell…" there was no way he could get them both, and he had no idea how to dismantle a bomb. Either way, Kaen was gone, but he was not about to let Arbner get away again. He just hoped he'd be able to find him…

Arbner watched Erol closely from where he was standing behind the limo. Beautiful.

And that was when he saw him. "Never overly bright, were you?" Erol said as he walked over.

"It was funnier to watch. You can't get me and here – you've failed once more slummer."

"But I can get you. And I think that'll be enough for me." He pulled out his gun.

"Shoot me then. I _dare_ you."

"Fine." And Erol did as he was told.

And, as often happens when people get shot, Arbner finally dropped dead.

"Well, that was easy," he muttered, checking that there was still another bullet in the weapon for himself. Less than ten minutes…

--

Back in the docks, Kaen watched the clock in resignation. Well, time to die again.

There was the sound of boots on the pavement as someone calmly walked towards the crime mistress and her five guards.

"Who the hell…" said the main guard, who stood and pulled out a gun, which he put to Kaen's head.

He never got an answer as the newcomer slammed his fist into the guard's face. When he pulled his hand away, blood spurted from four cuts that seemed to have magically appeared. Four small but sharp blades poked out over each of his knuckles and a moment later, the guard was on the ground, his throat slashed.

The other four guards were quick to follow. One made the mistake of coming at the man from behind and not only met an elbow to the gut, but found himself sliced from navel to mid-chest by another concealed blade.

The random man looked at the crime lady, "Hey Kaen. How do you manage to get yourself into these situations?" he sounded exasperated.

"Cause I'm me Ripp. Now, do you know how to dismantle a bomb?"

"Not exactly," but he knelt to examine the device, "I can't imagine it's much different than the reverse of building one."

"That's comforting."

"Isn't it." He sounded strangely calm as he chose a wire to pull out, "Red, blue, black is usually the ground…" he muttered to himself.

"Usually?" her voice was about twelve octaves higher than normal.

"Usually."

"_Ripp_…"

"What?"

"Please don't blow me up."

"At this proximity, I'm coming if I screw up," he pulled out another wire.

"Point."

He sat back and contemplated, "I think it's this one…"

Kaen closed her eyes, "Just do it."

Ripp pulled out the wire and the bomb died. "There. Now…" He began to fiddle with the straps that held the bomb to Kaen.

"Aren't you supposed to be studying for exams?"

"Yes…"

"Why're you here then?"

"Scythe saw that you were in some trouble, he was kind of hoping to nick some of your shipment, but he called me."

"Tell him to go away. And thank you. Now, I have to go." She hugged him and took off – her husband was bound to do something stupid.

--

Erol glanced at his watch, a few more minutes…

Kaen spotted him. "Dammit," she muttered as she ran up to him. Something dawned on her – she hadn't seen Arbner – where was he?

He looked up and pulled her close to him, "You're alive!"

"Ripp is very good at dismantling bombs. So I'm fine. Where's my stalker?"

"Dead on the ground with his brain leaking out a hole in head."

"Really? Dead for good?"

"Unless Aaric brings him back for sheer amusement. Hang on, _Ripp_ saved you? I thought he had exams…"

"Scythe called him. So he saved me. As, apparently did you."

"I don't think I really did much…"

"You killed Arbner. Is that not saving?"

"Point." He kissed her.

She hugged him tightly. "So it's over?"

"Yeah, it's over." He tightened the embrace.

"Good." She pressed her lips to his. "Shall we go?"

"Yes."

"Then you'll have to let me go."

"I'm not sure I like that…" but he let go anyway.

"If it makes you feel better, you can hug me once we're in the limo. Will that satisfy you?" It would make _her_ feel satisfied. She needed a hug – badly.

He sighed, "It'll work," And he went around to open the door for her, "After you."

"Thank you," she got inside the vehicle, "You coming?"

"Of course." He got in and sat down next to her, pulling her close.

"Mmm…" she curled up against him, "My feet hurt."

"Do they?"

"I _hate_ running around in high heels."

"I bet."

"Mhm… You are a warm person." Suddenly there was a bump as the limo drove over something. Namely Arbner's head.

Erol cringed at the mental images that the motion of the brought.

"Arbner pancakes for lunch?"

"I'll pass thanks. Jance might want some if you asked."

"No, 'cause then we'd have to turn back and I want to go home."

"Yeah. Me too."

"And then up to infirmary."

"For…?"

"Confirmation."

"Just making sure I knew the reason."

"Well, you did. Better safe than sorry."

"Yeah. You okay?"

"In which way?"

"Emotionally? Physically?"

"Emotionally? Tired and a little scared. Physically? My back and feet hurt."

He nodded. "It'll be okay."

"I hope so." Kaen sighed and lay down so her head was in his lap. "Is this going to bug you?"

"No, not at all." He brushed some hair away from her forehead.

"Okay, because it's helping my back." She closed her eyes, "I can't believe he's gone…"

"Well, he is."

"I know."

"You tired?"

"Yeah…"

"You can sleep if you want…"

"Okay." Kaen quickly fell asleep. Nearly being blown up had tired her out.

Erol sat there calmly, stroking her hair for the remainder of the trip. The limo stopped and he gently nudged her awake, "We're home love."

"Damn."

"I thought you wanted to be home."

"I do. But your lap is comfy."

"Well you can make use of it on a couch inside if you want."

"Would _that_ bug you?"

"No. Would you like it to?"

"No, but I don't want to inconvenience you."

"Don't worry. You won't. Now…shall we get out of the limo?"

"Probably." Kaen sat up and stretched. "Killing my stalker seemed like a lot of hard work."

"Well it certainly took longer than it should have."

"Oh well, it's over." She opened the door and got out, "C'mon, I need you."

He stepped out after her and put an arm around her.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and yawned. "Remind me not to strap myself to bombs."

"I will."

"Thank you. I'd also suggest calling Val for two reasons."

"They would be?"

"First, Arbner's dead. Second, Arbner's dead."

He nodded, "Alright."

"Excellent. How far are we from a couch?"

"Not very," he led her into the living room and sat down on the couch, "See?"

"Okay." She lay down once more, her head in his lap, and promptly fell asleep.

He resumed stroking her hair while pulling out his cell to call Valen.

"Yup?" Valen said, answering the phone.

"Hey, how's life?"

"Good. Been better. You?"

"Fine. Arbner's dead."

An evil chuckle, "For real?"

"Unless he somehow survived a bullet to the brain, and having his head run over by a limo. It's as real as it could be."

"Excellent… How's your wife?"

"Exhausted and probably pregnant."

"Hmm… Won't that hurt her?"

Erol sighed, "She has a ten percent survival rate."

"Pray to Aaric she'll survive."

"I will." He wasn't even kidding.

"Yeah…Anything else?"

"I don't know. Anything with you?"

"I live. I breathe. I have recently bought a chain of fast food."

"I'd applaud you, but both my hands are occupied."

"Why?"

"Well, I'm holding the phone and am more or less petting my wife's hair."

"Ah…You and her hair… I feel her pain."

"Razer likes yours?"

"Apparently… It's been mauled on several occasions."

Erol smirked, "Nice."

"I know! Anyway, I better go. Thanks for telling me."

Erol nodded, "No problem. Talk to you later Val."

"Sure." The other man hung up.

Erol sighed and put his phone away. He gazed at Kaen and hoped she'd be okay.


	29. Chapter Twenty Eight

3 of 4. Second last chapter. Hope you've all enjoyed it so far. Sorry, but this one gets jumpy for a bit.

Erol, Torn, Ashelin and Razer are all Naughty Dog's. We own everyone else.

* * *

In the end, it turned out Kaen _was_ pregnant once again, a fact that failed to please her. But she refused to get rid of it, so six months later, for the baby was premature by a month – the crime lady found herself back in the hospital for another long difficult labor.

On the downside, she nearly died, but on the upside, she was still alive and the baby was fine. Tiny, but fine.

"Okay, that hurt like a bitch," Kaen muttered after her _twenty-six_ hour labor.

"I bet," Erol said, wiping sweat off her forehead, "But you're still alive."

"And fairly decent. Thank you for once again sitting beside me during the most humiliating moment in my life."

"You're welcome," he eased his other hand out of hers and flexed his fingers before looking at the doctor, "Is this one the same as last time?"

"Uh…sort of…but you can see her. A warning – she's very vocal."

Erol nodded, "Alright."

A nurse brought out a small baby girl who was sobbing loudly. Carefully, she put the tiny infant into her father's arms. The child stopped her wailing at once.

"Vocal you say?" Erol asked, unable to hide an amused grin.

"Okay, when she's away from you she's vocal."

The girl looked up at her dad, her eyes actually opening this time. Dead match to Erol's, though a lot more calculating and cunning.

He looked down at her, brushing a finger down her cheek, "Well _that's_ interesting."

"What?" Kaen asked, glancing up at her daughter, "Another psycho?"

"No…Just that gold eyes don't normally manifest themselves until mid-teens."

"Hmm…Well, baby's eyes are supposed to start out grey, so it's weird no matter how you slice it."

The infant grabbed her father's finger and began to gnaw.

Erol laughed.

She stiffened at the sound, like it was the most foreign thing in the world. Then, after a moment, went back to gnawing.

The doctor approached, "Um…What would you like to name her?"

Erol glanced at his wife, "Any ideas?"

"You choose. I'm too tired to think…"

He thought for a moment, "Solah work for you?"

"Good enough."

The doctor nodded, "I'll go write that down." He left.

Solah yawned and fell asleep as quickly as her mother ever could.

"She's already like you," he commented.

"Sleeping?"

"Yep."

"That sounds nice."

It really did, "Well go ahead. You definitely deserve it."

"So do you."

"I didn't do anything."

"You've been beside me, letting me squeeze your hand to numbness, for over a day. You should sleep too."

"Yeah, but I should probably give Solah back to the doctor first. I'll end up dropping her if I fall asleep now."

"Point."

As if summoned, the doctor reappeared and took the small girl from her father. "I'll take her. You both should sleep." Again he left.

"Doctor's order," Kaen said with a grin.

"Yep."

She snuggled down into the bed, "Coming?"

"What would you do if I ever said no?" But he lay down next to her and put an arm around her.

"Feel very depressed."

"Well…I never will," he yawned, closed his eyes and was quickly asleep.

She followed quickly enough.

--

Four long years passed after that, each weird than the next. This seemed to be especially true when it came to Solah. She was reserved in all her actions, was extremely anti-social and had not _ever_ said a single word. Everyone said she was mute, but Solah herself knew better.

She was simply disdainful of all humanity. In particular, seated in a section all his own, was Atin, the youngest child of Torn and Ashelin. Her parents had decided that the pair should bond.

Solah hated every second. Including the moment she was in, where she was being dragged down the palace hallways by the slightly older boy and his roll of toilet paper.

Atin stopped and looked behind him at the track of toilet paper he'd been trailing throughout his home and promptly unrolled the rest on the spot, discarding everything but the cardboard tube. He poked Solah, "Yer quiet."

She glared. Foolish child, he knew nothing.

He poked her again.

And she continued to glare, gold eyes blazing with anger and irritation.

"I forget your name," he informed her cheerily. "I'm Atin." As if he thought she needed a crash course refresher on who she was with.

What an idiot to think that she, _she_ would forget anything.

"I'ma gonna call ya Poke. 'Kay?"

He certainly was _not_! Of course to tell him otherwise would be an act of speech. So all Solah could do was seethe in silence.

"So Poke," he prodded her again, "Why don'tcha talk?"

'Because,' she thought bitterly, 'It would require me to interact with children like you.'

"Yer weird." His finger met her forehead. "Llama."

She slapped his hand away.

He pouted and rubbed his hand, "That weren't nice Poke."

Solah gave him a dirty look and turned to leave.

"Where ya going?"

At that moment Atin's father came from behind the two, following the toilet paper trail his son had left. He looked at the four year old and let out an exasperated sigh, "Atin…"

"Didn't do it!" he pointed at Solah, "Poke's fault it was."

She turned and raised an eyebrow at the pair.

Torn sighed again, "Why did you-"

Atin cut his father off with a triumphant cry of, "TUBE!" as he held it up proudly.

"What were you doing?"

Again the boy looked pleased, "Well," he began, as though preparing to launch into an epic tale, "Me and Poke was just-"

Torn's face met his palm.

Solah bit her lip to refrain from correcting Atin's horrid grammar.

She didn't need to, Torn did, "You and Solah were…"

"Me and Poke was just." The boy insisted.

Solah walked over and hit him again.

"Ow! That weren't nice!"

'Wasn't nice!' she mentally shrieked, '_Wasn't_!'

"I don't think I likes you much. You ain't nice. Yer mean."

Solah took a calming breath, then turned to Torn with eyes that plainly said, 'If you do not get me out of here, I will rip your son's throat open.'

Torn sighed, "Come on Solah. Atin, clean this up." He gestured to the mass of toilet paper.

Atin shook his head. "Don't wanna – Not gonna."

Solah stalked away, offended.

Later that night, the young girl decided it was time to talk. As an ice breaker, she picked up a few pages of her old drawings and headed down to find her father.

Erol was in the living room sitting on the couch reading when his youngest daughter came in. He glanced up, "Hello Solah."

She sat down beside him and put down the pages.

He set aside his book, "What's up?"

"I wanted to show you my drawings."

He blinked at her for a moment. She could _talk_? "Sure, let's see."

She pointed at them. "I was looking through some of my old things – I drew these last year."

He looked through them, every picture was of Kaen's hallway. "You drew these?"

"Yes. They're fairly bad but… I'm getting better."

"They're better than I could do." They were better than just about _anyone_ could do.

"Probably not." She glared at the pictures. "Anyway, I'm going to bed. Night Dad."

"Night Solah."

The little girl left. Not long after, her mother entered, "Erol? You look shocked," she said, sitting down beside him.

"Solah can talk…and draw…"

"Draw what?" She laid her head on his shoulder.

"Um…this…" he held up one of her sketches.

"My hallway? Oh, damn… That makes this situation worse."

"Why?"

"Err… See, I… It's… Solah's too…"

"Solah's too what?"

"Uh… see… I need another kid."

"Kaen that could kill you."

"But Solah's unstable! I need an heir love, and both of our daughters are not strong enough to lead this city. This is my purpose in a way at this point - I need to produce an heir. And believe me; I am well aware of what could happen."

Erol sighed, if the next kid was just as screwed up... If Kaen died... What would happen? He didn't want to think about it.

"Don't look like that. I doubt I'll actually die, even if the doctor gave me several death threats if I ever try to give birth again. I wonder if my mother was ever this discouraged…"

"I wouldn't know. But she _did _have four..."

"And _I've_ had two. It'll be alright, though I do believe I shall give my body a bit of a rest. However, in the meantime we have to deal with the daughters we have and all the troubles that are coming with that."

"What to deal with first?"

"Such as school. I _know_ we've been home schooling Ara, but I'm not sure that's the approach we should take with Solah. I think she needs more interaction with other people. What do you think?"

"Hmm...Well, I don't know that the constant interaction with Atin's done anything for her, but... I suppose we could always see. It _might_ help."

"I hope so. Judging from her last IQ test and some of the random smatterings of studies they've done, the doctors are saying we should stick her, after a year of kindergarten, into third grade."

Erol cringed, "Do you _really_ think that's a smart move?"

"I think so. She'll be with people who can sorta think of her level."

"But they'll be so much older than her..."

"I know, but it's the best plan I have. Solah's smart, extremely smart, and she needs to think above her peers. Hell, the first grade the doctor suggested was sixth grade! But I beat him down a bit."

He still didn't like it, but what could he really do? "I suppose we could try it and see the effect."

"It'll be no big deal. She'll be fine, if she has any of our characteristics."

"Which we both know she does."

"So we're fine. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm tired."

"Yeah, I could turn in."

"Then let's go. We have a few full days in front of us."

"Yeah," He stood and rolled a kink out of his neck making it crack.

"That's gross."

He rolled his eyes.

"What?!"

"Nothing."

She sighed and headed out of the living room. He was hopeless.

He, as always, followed her.

Solah watched her parents' conversation with cold curiosity. So she was smart, huh? In their minds, she was simply 'gifted'? Oh, how wonderfully wrong they were. How could people hate her so much when she was still so young? Shaking her head slightly, the girl turned away and went to bed.

--

"I hate my life. I hate every single person in this school. I want to kill them all slowly and painfully," Solah muttered to herself as she made her way to class. Two years had passed and now she was in her first year of _real_ school, which meant third grade. Unfortunately, this corresponded with Atin's first year of school, which was distinctly unpleasant. Very, distinctly unpleasant.

Atin saw her in the hallway and was about to shout a hello to her – just to be a pain, he knew it bothered her – when he quite promptly walked straight into a wall.

"Wow, you're a dweeb! What's your name?!" a surprisingly bubbly voice asked. "Mine's Jeph!"

Atin felt himself flush as he turned, rubbing his nose, "Atin."

"Atin? That's a funny name." The other boy grinned manically. "Wanna go borrow stuff from the kindergarteners?"

Atin couldn't help but grin back, "Sure."

"Fun!" He grabbed Atin's hand and hauled him off in a different direction. "You know, you seem nice."

"Thanks. You're cool."

"Thank you. People usually say I talk too much."

"I don't care."

"That's good. Tell me to shut up if I talk too much." Jeph stopped abruptly in front of a door. "Here we are. Let's go in - the teacher's the only one in there right now."

Atin nodded and walked calmly though the door.

Jeph bounced in right behind him.

The teacher gave both boys a dark look from her desk. "May I help you?"

"Yeah," Jeph said happily. "Our class needs some paper towels - a boy just threw up and we're out."

"Oh!" the teacher exclaimed. "Well, Atin? Come help me find some. You," she pointed at Jeph, "Stay here."

Jeph just continued to grin.

Atin gave the other boy a funny look before following the teacher.

"I don't like to see you hanging around that Jeph boy Atin. What would your parents say if they found out?"

"I dunno."

"Well, I can guess. He's bad news - a kleptomaniac, if you even know what that is. It's just not right for a boy such as you to be hanging out with someone like him."

A clepta-what? How did she expect him to understand _that_? "Oh. But he's nice."

"He sure is a charming little boy. But, then again, his mother's quite a people-person too. Anyway, help me carry the paper towels back Atin. I don't want him stealing anything while I'm gone."

He'd steal something? Weird. But he took the some of the paper towels anyway.

Jeph was standing in the exact same place by the door when the others returned. "See, teach? I'm still standing right where you told me to."

"Apparently, you little devil. Go on now - wipe up that boy's puke." The teacher sat down and started to work again.

Jeph bit his lip, as if to keep from laughing, and left the classroom.

Atin followed Jeph, still carrying the paper towels. "What's funny?"

"Oh…the stuff I borrowed." Jeph walked until he was just out of eyeshot from the kindergarten teacher when he started to pull things out of his pockets. Glue sticks, smelly markers and about twenty bucks cash.

The other boy gaped, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why didn't you just ask for it?"

"Cause that's no fun! You gotta be sneaky and tricksy! They don't give it to kids like me, so I just take it." He shrugged. "I can't help it. I like shiny stuff. So, wanna come down to the corner store with me and buy a lot of sugar?"

Atin thought about it for a moment. "Why not?" He beamed. "Uh...Jeph?"

"Yeah?"

"What am I _actually _supposed to do with the paper towels?"

"Oh, just drop 'em here. No one will care. Or put them in the bathroom or something."

Atin dropped the whole stack and wiped off his hands.

"Righty then! Let's go!" Jeph ran for the door as if he was being chased by some monstrous being.

Atin did likewise, tripped, fell, got back up and ran to catch up.

"You're a klutz."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO! LAST ONE OFF THE SCHOOL GROUND IS A ROTTEN EGG!"

Atin ran. There was no way he was going to be a rotten egg _and_ a klutz.

--

Solah watched silently from the window of her classroom. So Atin had made a friend, had he? She'd heard about Jeph and the sort of family he came from. Disgusting. Worse than her own. Trust Atin to make friends with people like that.

"Solah? Is there something wrong?" her teacher asked kindly as he passed.

"No sir," she said quietly. "Everything's going as it always has. Bad for me and good for everyone else."

He gave her a funny look and moved on.

She sighed and leaned her head on her desk. Life sucked.

--

Another long year passed and Solah soon found herself in quite a predicament. For the first time in her life, she was willing to _beg_ a favor out of someone. In this particular case, her father. After a year of loneliness, she was willing to do anything to be normal.

"Dad?" she said tentatively, one summer day. "I wanna talk to you."

"Sure, what's up?" Erol asked.

"I want to get moved in school," she said.

His heart sank. He _knew_ this would happen. "Why?"

"I'm lonely. I want to be moved down, even if it means sharing a class with Atin and his little gang of friends."

"I don't know that we can move you..."

"DAD! I need to be moved! I can't stand it! How can you expect me to interact with society when you're sticking me with people who hate my very existence!"

"They don't hate you Solah." It was breaking his heart to hear her say it. "Look, I can't promise anything, but I'll talk to your mother and see what we can do. Okay?"

"Fine. But Mom won't do anything. She _likes_ where I am. Keeps me quiet, busy and away from her so she can take care of _Ara_."

"That's not true."

"That _is_ true, ask her yourself. Mom _hates_ me because I nearly killed her and I'm different. And because you like me more than her, which isn't hard."

"Your mother does _not_ hate you."

"Yes she does. Especially for the last reason I discussed. Mother has always hated me. And, I will hazard a guess, she always will. Now, go talk to her if you wish. I want to go draw."

"Well, have fun." And Erol left to go talk to his wife.

Solah watched her father go for a moment, then turned around and left for her room. She needed to think. Being so alone, so isolated in her own little world…it was _killing_ her.

"What's up Erol?" Kaen asked when she saw her husband come into her office. "This is earlier than you usually come and bug me."

He sighed, "We _need_ to move Solah."

"What do you mean? Move her where?"

"Down a grade, put her with kids her own age."

"I can't."

"Why not? Kaen, she's suffering."

"I've realized that. But I cannot put her down a grade. Bring up the topic with those people who make laws and crap."

"I thought you could manipulate that!"

"If I had time, sure! But Erol, it's going to be okay. She's just in a transition period."

He ran a hand back through his hair, "I hope you're right, I really do."

"Aren't I always Anyway, what harm can a six year old do?"

"We both know that she's no average six year old."

"I _know_. It's just…" she put her head in her hands. "Look, Solah's beginning to scare me. Worse than Ara. She's showing tendencies that I dunno…"

Erol walked over and embraced Kaen. Now what was he supposed to do?

"We need to think this through some day. It's too complicated for me."

"Any reason we can't now?"

"No… We can. So let's, I suppose."

He nodded. "We need to figure this out, fast. I don't want to think about what could happen if we don't."

"Why don't we just have her and Atin hang out more?"

He shrugged, "We could try. Pilot project of the summer type thing?"

"I guess. It'll fail miserably, but who cares."

"I care."

"Yes, you do. It'll be worth a try though. God, sometimes I wish Val lived here!"

"You're not the only one."

"However, there's a slim chance of that ever happening, so I suppose we get to just try this on our own."

"Yeah..."

"You look depressed. Or sad. Or troubled."

"When Solah's begging you know it's gotten bad. I'm just worried about her."

"I know… But all we can do is try. And I suppose, since I haven't had another kid and I'm getting old, she will be the heir apparently…"

"Do you still want another kid?"

"Yes."

The idea of losing Kaen terrified him; he had no clue what he'd do without her. "Well..."

"I'm not expecting to have another one though, since I'm not sure I want to have someone else as the father."

"How many times do we have to go over this? If you're still set on not giving Haven to either of the ones we have…" He couldn't believe that he'd agree to this. "You know I'd do anything for you." He'd thought – hoped – that she'd given up on the notion of a third child.

"Fine. I need another kid. I cannot give this city to Ara - god knows what would happen if I did - and I will not give this city to Solah - she's too unstable to rule. I was actually hoping for a boy…"

"Does gender really make a difference?"

"No, but the girls I've had so far aren't exactly crime lady material."

"True enough I suppose."

"Ah, beautiful truth. So have I finally got you convinced or are you just going to argue with me some more?"

He shrugged, "I'm still on the fence."

"Well, that's better than not on the fence." She sighed. "Have I ever mentioned how much I love summer?"

"Yes, you have."

"Well, I'll just pretend I said it again. As close to a furnace as I'll ever come I suppose. Well, maybe in heaven it'll be warmer too."

"You never know."

"I hope to one day find out."

"You will."

"So will you. But, in your case I suppose, it'll be cold."

Erol laughed, "Maybe."

"Nothing is certain. Now, I'm going to go upstairs and get some rest."

He nodded and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Alright."

"Coming?"

"You know it."

"So I do. Well, let's go then. Sleep is good."


	30. Chapter Twenty Nine

Last Chapter! (Insert cheering and confetti.) Thanks to everyone who's been reading. This is it. This is the end. There is nothing else. Enjoy. We're going to go work on our new original fiction now. Bye!

Last ever disclaimer. Erol, Torn, Ashelin, and Razer (should he even be mentioned) always have and always will belong to Naughty Dog. Everyone else is ours.

* * *

Another year dragged by and very little had changed, very little except the fact that a third child for Erol and Kaen was _well_ on the way.

It was summer when - on a rather random whim of the moment - the two had a pool party at their house.

"So, how many people did we end up inviting to this again?" Kaen asked her husband as she walked up to their outdoor pool and glanced warily down.

He shrugged, "Not too many. It's not like your Christmas parties."

"_Our_ Christmas parties. They're not completely my fault."

"Oh fine. Not like _our_ Christmas parties. But they were your idea."

"My family's actually."

He sighed, "Well if you want to be technical about it..." He rolled his eyes. "How're you holding up?"

"Good enough. He's not as rambunctious as his sisters, which is good. Though, he has been getting more active as of late."

"Has he?"

"Yes, he has." She placed both hands on her stomach. It made her happy to think that she might finally be having a normal child.

"Is Mother going on about that brat again?" Solah asked as she entered the area. Another sibling to compete for her father's attentions. Disgusting.

"He's not a brat Solah." Erol said automatically, turning to look at his current youngest.

"Yes he is. He's not even born yet and he's taking all of your time. I hate him."

Kaen looked hurt.

Erol embraced his wife. "You've been making yourself awfully scarce Solah. I can hardly give you my attention when I don't know where you are."

"I don't want to make myself seen. If I do that, I have to deal with people like Mother, Ara and," she shuddered, "Atin."

"By the way, he'll be here. Try to socialize a bit."

"No. Anyway, he'll be with that nasty Jeph boy from school. You know, the one that steals everything in sight."

Kaen grinned. "I rather like him, the few times we've come into contact."

"He's an odd boy." Erol gave his wife a kiss on the cheek and pulled away to go over to his daughter.

"I dislike him. He called me a loner the other day and I nearly hit him. And Atin. They're both so irritating, like most of the male gender."

"That's just what you think now."

"And always. The day I like a boy is the day that I become a slightly decent person.

"You're already a decent person." Barely.

"No I'm not. Stop lying Dad." Solah skulked away.

"You know, she's getting weirder by the hour," Kaen commented, watching her youngest go hide in a corner.

Erol nodded slowly, nearly forced to agree.

"Oh well. Do you know where Ara's gone?"

He shook his head, "No idea."

"Hmmm…"

"Well, she'll turn up." He glanced at his watch, "People will be showing up soon..."

"I hope so. Do you think Cayden's started his shiny new barbeque?"

"Probably..." Erol smirked.

"Pathetic really."

"Yep..." Erol looked thoughtful.

"You look thoughtful."

"Do I?" He smirked.

"You do." She splashed some water in his face. "Now you don't."

He pulled a face shaking the water off. He was about to retaliate when someone came up behind him and shoved him in the pool.

"Smooth Jance. That was quite beautiful." Kaen pretended to applaud her sketchpad.

And he pretended to bow. "Why thank you. I thought so."

Erol hauled himself out of the pool. "Not funny."

"Yes it was. I found that highly amusing," Cayden boomed from the doorway.

Erol sighed. "Go figure," he shook off the excess water.

Jance grinned and ruffled up Erol's hair before pulling his hand away and saying, "Ew...you're wet," in a very convincing tone.

"Ouch." Cayden grinned and wheeled in a massive barbeque. "Isn't it gorgeous?" he said lovingly as he set it up.

Erol mock applauded.

"He hasn't shut up about it all week," Ripp said slinking in after his large brother-in-law.

"Shut up Ripp."

Leeta walked in behind her husband. "Play nicely," she said, setting down some baked goods on a nearby table.

Ripp sighed, "Yes honey."

Jance sidled over to Cayden, "So..." he began conversationally, "What are you planning on cooking?"

"Hamburger. Nothing raw."

Jance nodded approvingly. "Ground beef is _nasty_ raw."

"I am well aware. _Any_ meat is nasty raw. Now go away, you're breathing on the metal."

Jance blew on the barbeque and walked away before Cayden decided to slug him. Not that he thought the man would.

Solah watched the whole scene disapprovingly, yet with longing. Why couldn't she be enough like them to enjoy things like this? To interact with such ease? Why wasn't she able to be that way?

Jance caught sight of his niece on the other side of the room and headed over, "What are you doing over here?" He asked quietly.

"Being away from everyone else, if you hadn't guessed. I don't want to mix in with the crowd. Especially when _they_ get here."

"People aren't that bad you know, but if you're really so set on being antisocial..."

"They disgust me. They think they're better than the rest of us because they're _happy_. It's nothing special to be happy. And now Mother's pregnant…"

Jance sighed and patted her on the head. "I know the feeling."

"Why can't people just be how they should be? There's nothing to enjoy in life. When something seems like it's just about to go right, it goes wrong."

"Don't be so cynical. Good things _do_ happen." He subconsciously flexed his right hand. Good things did happen, just not to him.

"Then why's that girl's name on your hand?"

He fixed her with a flat glare, "It's not important."

"Fine. Be touchy. But it only proves my point."

He gave a half nod. "Just... try being, social for a while. You don't have to like it, but...There's no reason for you to be alone."

"I _am_ alone. I was _born_ alone. Don't you know what Solah means, Uncle Jance? They named me for my curse. Because, you see, I don't believe in coincidence. Only fate."

"Your dad didn't mean to curse you. Don't choose a lonely life kid. It's not worth it." And he headed back to the slowly growing group of people.

Solah sighed and went to rejoin the group. Her uncle was a truly clear thinker.

A brown haired boy spotted her almost immediately; he walked over, "Hey Solah. How's life?"

"Go die in a hole Atin," she snapped.

"So, same as ever I take it?"

"Worse, probably. Why are you even talking to me? Isn't _Jeph_ feeling lonely?"

Atin shrugged.

Solah glared at him. "I hate you."

"Fine then. Be that way." And he turned around and walked away again.

"Jerk," she muttered under her breath.

Kaen watched the whole affair from afar. "It's sad how shamelessly cruel they are to each other."

Erol nodded, "It is."

Torn shrugged, "So they don't like each other, it's not the end of the world." He said watching his son stalk away from the girl.

"You _sure_ about that?" the crime lady said with a grin.

"About them not liking each other or the end of the world?"

"Them not liking each other."

Torn watched with an amused grin as Atin turned back around and ran at Solah to push her into the pool, but lost control and ended up going in right after her. "Maybe not..."

"Well, we'll have to see, won't we? Anyone want to make a bet?"

Erol made a 'don't do it' gesture at everyone.

Torn looked at Kaen, "I think I'll pass."

"C'mon. Someone."

"Well, what sort of stakes are we setting on this bet?" Jance asked.

"I dunno. I want chocolate."

Erol's hand met his forehead.

"Well can you magically produce chocolate while swimming?"

"No..."

"Fine. I want chocolate."

Ripp tuned into the conversation, "You know, if you ask my wife nicely, you might be able to convince her to part with some..."

"Not the same Ripp. Since my husband seems too much of a chicken to make a simple bet it's just not worth it. Though, if I were him, I'd be rather scared myself."

The younger man shrugged, "Your choice."

Erol sighed, "What exactly _is_ the bet on anyway? Cause, it sounded too long term to me to warrant giving you anything for it right away."

"Well, you could just give it to me now since you know I'd win. And it's on Solah and Atin."

And Erol handed her a bar of chocolate.

"How the hell does that work?"

"It just does." He smirked.

"You're a funny person."

"I know."

"Is that your failsafe answer?"

"Yes actually."

"You astound me. Do not comment after that." She took a happy bite of the chocolate.

Erol mouthed 'I know' and glanced over at the pool to see if Atin and Solah had gotten out yet.

Solah had just climbed out, coughing and spluttering. She hated swimming.

Atin clambered out after her, hacking up water. He stood up and shook himself off, attempting to put on an 'I meant to do that' face' and failed miserably. He shook himself off again and slunk off to go find Jeph.

Jeph was laughing hysterically at his friend. "You're a dweeb."

"You're a dweeb. 'Sides, I got her wet, didn't I?"

"But that was still not that smooth."

Atin attempted to shrug like he didn't care and succeeded only in shrugging.

"You're a very odd person. Anyway, did you see that barbeque? It's so _shiny_."

"I don't think you can fit it in your pocket and march off with it. Besides look at the size of the guy cooking on it..."

"But I can steal this." Jeph produced a shiny knife. "Isn't it pretty?"

"Yeah." Atin looked at it. "Is it sharp?"

"Yep."

"Sweet."

"Wanna stab it through the emo?"

Atin pulled a face. "Better not. Might get kinda bloody."

"Point. How long before she starts doing it though?"

"I dunno."

"Meh. Wanna get a burger?"

Atin nodded. "Yeah."

Jeph scampered off to go find fatty goodness.

Atin, of course, followed him.

Ripp watched the two boys running around on the pool deck in a _nearly_ longing way. He looked back at his wife and sighed.

She looked extremely pleased with herself. After months of fighting, she'd finally convinced her husband to give her the heir she needed. "What's wrong Ripp?"

He shrugged, "I dunno." The idea of being a parent still scared him, but he'd also warmed up to it. _Then_ he'd learned the kind of life his and Leeta's child would have...

"The baby again?"

"Yeah..."

"It'll be alright. True, he won't interact like most boys his age, but…"

"There's no but..."

"There is a but! It'll be fine. Me and Cayden were subjected to the exact same training and we turned out just fine." She glanced at her brother, who was humming happily over his new toy. "Or mostly fine in Cayden's case."

"I guess."

"Don't be so worried." She walked up and wrapped her arms around him. "It'll be perfectly fine. Plus, he'll have slummer in him."

Ripp grinned and returned the embrace, "That he will."

"Want to go swimming?"

He shrugged, "If you want to."

"Why would I ask if I didn't want to?"

He shrugged again and kissed her, "No idea."

She grinned and pressed her lips gently to his, before dragging him off to the pool.

--

A month went by after that funny little pool party and soon enough Kaen was in labor with her last child. But, unlike it only being overwhelming pain, she nearly _did_ die from the birth. However, in the end, it was worth it. It was totally worth it.

Erol grinned at his wife, she was still alive. "You did it sweetheart."

"I am well aware. Okay, I don't care how weird he is - this is the end. I'm not having another kid. Ever."

"Good. I wasn't going to give you another one."

"I know. You barely gave me this one." She smiled at him weakly and gently squeezed his hand. "Fingers still intact?"

"Barely." He flexed them against her hand.

"Sorry."

"It's alright. I wouldn't care if you broke my fingers." He smirked, "It's not like I'm Jance or something."

"This is true. But I've never broken your fingers."

"I know, and I can't think of when you would."

"I doubt it'll ever happen."

The doctor reentered at that moment carrying a tiny bundle. "Well, here he is."

Kaen stretched out her arms, "Gimme."

And the doctor did. "I swear, this one looks normal. It's a new phenomena."

Erol laughed, "Every one of our kids has to be weird in their own way."

"This is true. Anyway, I'll leave the pair of you alone with your latest bundle of joy." The man grinned and then left.

Kaen watched her son thoughtfully. It was true, he seemed normal enough, but still… Was it possible? Could she have actually produced a normal child?

Erol sat down next to her and put an arm around her, "Looks normal enough...think he actually _is_?"

"I think so. Grey eyes, no particularly freakish amounts of motor control…"

He nodded, "So, what do we name him?"

"Hmmm… Well, I was thinking of naming him after one of my grandfathers, way back when."

"Oh? Well, I named Solah after my mom, so...What is it?"

"Rhys."

Erol nodded. "I like it."

"It's a strong name." She cuddled her baby close to her. "Just like him."

"And he's just like his mother that way."

"And his father."

"Sure I guess..."

"You're stronger than I am in a lot of ways."

"Oh?"

"Yes. You are. Such as the lack of nerves in your hand…"

"Both of my hands are fine and intact."

"Exactly." She offered Rhys out a little. "Want to hold him?"

"Of course."

She passed her son off to his father. "Careful."

"I will be." He cradled the baby close to him.

"Take a good long look at the boy who will one day rule Haven City."

"This little guy? Taking over _your_ city? Seems like such a stretch." He poked his son gently.

"But I was a baby once too, as hard to believe as it is. Now that I'm old and decrepit and all that." She smiled.

"I'm older."

"Not by much and you aren't showing your age at all."

"Neither are you."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not." He leaned over and kissed her.

She kissed him back happily. It was hard to be down on herself when she had a newborn and an overly sweet husband.

Erol broke away, "You want him back?"

"Yes," she held her arms out. "Yes I do."

He passed the child back to his wife.

She held Rhys close. Here he finally was - the heir to the greatest empire in the world. It seemed such a large destiny to attach to something so very small. But it was true. Rhys would one day take her place and write another chapter in the family's story.

Erol smiled at the two of them before leaning over and giving his wife another kiss.

She curled up against him, feeling quite content where she was. Much to her surprise - and relief - it wasn't until the doctor returned and took little Rhys away that she fell asleep.


End file.
